Their joy has been incredibly short lived, Kim had gone from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows over the course of three days.
Just two days after the positive pregnancy test and a week before her doctor's appointment to confirm the pregnancy her period arrived.
It was a crushing blow.
Kim's obgyn had explained that false positives with at home pregnancy tests while rare happened from time to time, and she was certain that's what had happened. It was comforting to hear that as Kim's first fear was that she had suffered another miscarriage.
The doctor was confident that Kim was in good health and there wasn't clinical reason for why she hadn't fallen pregnant yet.
After leaving the doctors office Kim felt a bit lighter and felt in her gut that it would happen soon, it was just a matter of timing and luck.
She took to the internet and read everything she could find about trying to conceive she had come across an ovulation tracker and ordered one, she even went ahead and paid for the expedited shipping.
She started a journal where she kept track of her body temperature and made notations on a calendar as to when they should have sex.
She was optimistic and for that Adam was thankful.
He had teased that it was time they 'doubled down on our efforts', and it was exactly what they did.
Kim held the negative test in her hands, it was the third one in four months and she was beside herself. She didn't even tell Adam she was testing, she couldn't bare to see the look in his eyes if it was negative.
He would smile and tell her not to worry that it was going to happen for them, that it was just a matter of timing but she knew he was just as disappointed as she was.
Adam was locked in on the screen in front of him, they were currently going through hours of security camera footage to find their suspect, Kevin sat opposite him.
"So, operation knocked up still a thing?" Kevin asked Adam, he wasn't particularly fond of asking about Adam and Kim's sex life, being that he viewed Kim like a sister. He just knew how much she wanted a baby and that it's wasn't coming easy for them.
Adam sighed heavily, he looked away from the screen, "We are still at it." He leaned back in his chair and looked skyward, running his hand through his hair.
"Ah, sorry man." Kevin could tell by Adam's body language that it was taking a toll on him, "How's Kim handling it?"
"It's alright." Adam sighed, "Good question." He replied, he wasn't quite sure how she was doing. Kim was quite good at masking her true feelings, "she's tracking everything, her body temp, when she ovulates. She's got a journal. She's been researching and reading blogs."
"Sounds like Burgess." Kevin chuckled, she was definitely the brains in the unit, "what about you?"
"Me? I'm fine." Adam replied. It wasn't a lie but it also wasn't the truth, he was starting to question why it wasn't happening for them.
"Yeah?" Kevin didn't but it, "You can be honest with me bro. You know that, right?"
Adam finished the feed he was watching, "I do." He jotted down a few notes before closing out the screen, "Nothing unusual on that feed. On to the next."
"So, guess what happened today!" Mack was her usual chatty self on the car ride home from school, she had been talking nonstop since her butt hit the seat.
"What?" Kim asked, she stole a glance in the rearview mirror and loved the smile on Mack's face, that girl could melt the coldest of hearts with just a smile.
"Jayda's mom had her baby. She brought in a picture. It's a girl and she's cute. Her face is kinda wrinkly like an old man but she's still cute. Her name is Ava." She laughed, "that's such a cute name. I think we should order a baby. That's what Jayda said her parents did. I'm not sure where they ordered her from but I asked Jayda and she's gonna ask her dad. Do you think you could call her dad and ask? Jayda said it takes forever for the baby to be ready, so I think we should ask soon. Right?"
It was a bit of kick to the gut, "That's not how it works, sweetheart."
Mack was visibly flabbergasted and gasped "it's not? What do we have to do to get one? Do you know?"
"I do." Kim said, "did anything else exciting happen today?" She was desperate to change the subject, "do you have homework?"
"Oh I almost forgot! It was so funny, DeAndre farted in class and it was so loud. It was reading time, it was the loudest and stinkiest fart ever" she pretended to gag, "it was way worse than daddy's farts. Even Mrs.Thompson thought it was gross. I think if we order a baby we should pick a girl, boys are so gross." She barely took a breath between sentences, the girl was a motor mouth.
Kim wasn't surprised that Makayla had managed to steer the conversation back to babies, she was all in on having a baby and it only added to Kim's mounting frustration. It was really starting to take a toll on her and she was inching closer and closer to a breakdown.
Adam tucked the covers tightly around Makayla, they had just finished reading and it was time for bed. Makayla's eyelids were heavy and he was certain she had dozed off at least once while he was reading to her.
"Goodnight my precious girl." Adam kissed her forehead. "I love you so much."
Makayla smiled, "I love you too daddy." She wrapped her arm around his neck as he leant down to kiss her, "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything." Adam replied, he sat down on the edge of the bed, "what is it?"
"Will you order a baby sister for me? Jayda at school has one, she's brand new and so cute. I think we should have one too."
Adam forced a smile, "It's not that easy kiddo."
"Why not?"
Way to Adam thought to himself, this was not the conversation he wanted to be having, what the hell was he supposed to say. He wasn't about to tell her how a baby was conceived. He wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole.
"It's uh, well.. Grown ups…" he paused and even stuttered a bit, "…well grown ups, they need to, ah..well they need to do something that only moms and dads can do and then a baby will start to grow in the mom's stomach."
"Well can you and mommy do it?"
Adam nodded, "We have talked about it, and we've decided to try. It's just that it doesn't always work." It felt odd to be discussing it with Makayla, not that she knew what it was, "alright kid, it's bedtime." He was ending the conversation before it went any deeper. Makayla was far too curious for her own good and there was no telling what she would ask next.
Mack pushed the covers off and sat upright, causing Adam to return to her bedside, "Daddy."
"Yeah?" Adam sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Keep trying to order our baby sister. Don't give up. Remember? Like you and mommy told me when I couldn't figure out how to tie my shoes. You said don't give up. So, don't give up, okay?"
Adam was touched by the sentiment and he found it to be sweet, "thank you baby. We won't give up. I promise." He hugged her once more before heading out of the room.
He wasn't surprised to find Kim with her nose in her journal, she was oblivious to his presence as he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
Kim grabbed the thermometer from the nightstand beside her and checked her temp, it was where it needed to be to have the best chance of getting pregnant.
"Adam!" She called out to him, "we need to have sex. My temp is in our target range."
His shoulders sagged a bit and he stared at his reflection in the mirror, he would never turn sex down but it was starting to feel like a chore. It had become very clinical, Kim would run her hand down his stomach and grab hold of him, she get him worked up and then straddle him. She'd do her thing and then climb off. She'd even go as far as propping her legs up, in order to help his swimmers do their thing.
Afterwards they would lay in silence, he'd drift off to sleep within a few minutes and only wake up once Kim returned from the shower. She would be full of optimism for a bit before having her hopes crushed by a negative pregnancy test, he could see her heart break a little more with each failed attempt at getting pregnant.
It was taking a toll on him.
He feared they were headed towards disaster.
So..I hope you don't hate me too much! Thanks for reading!