For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Scene 4: Birthday Wishes
(Age: 8)

Kara was kind of hoping her dad would call, even though she knew chances were he wouldn't. He hadn't called once since he'd left but Kara couldn't help but wish that he would remember that it was her birthday. Of course, it didn't really feel much like a birthday but maybe that was because --as her mom said-- the fact that she was alive wasn't exactly something worth celebrating. She was Stinky Kara and she knew it so what was she supposed to do, ask her mom to throw her a party? Yeah, right, even if she could get her mom to agree to that --something Kara knew all too well was never going to happen-- she knew no one would come, just like no one had come the year before. Still she wished her dad would call.

That was the only thing she really wanted. She had been missing him a lot lately, especially because her mom had been drinking more than ever since he'd left... and it wasn't like she hadn't been drinking more than enough before that.

Wanting to feel closer to her dad, Kara sat on the bench in front of her father's piano. That piano was the only thing that was left of him in the whole apartment, mostly due to the fact that it was way too big for her mom to toss it out the window when she got mad.

Kara could easily remember how she used to spend hours watching her dad play --sometimes sitting on the floor, sometimes sitting on the bench by his side. She used to be fascinated by the way in which his fingers seemed to fly unerringly over the keyboard... and she also remembered the music. That was another thing that had left the apartment with her dad but Kara could still hear it in her mind, she could hear it whenever she closed her eyes.

She could also remember what it had been like when her dad had tried to teach her to play. That had been a lot of fun... at least when her mom wasn't around to make fun of her or to yell at her to stop that infernal noise. Kara wasn't kidding herself, she knew she wasn't any good at it and she knew she couldn't really play anything beyond a few very simple songs, but her dad had never laughed at her for making mistakes, he'd just told her not to worry about it. He'd said that learning to play the piano was supposed to take years and that --as long as she kept practicing-- he was sure she was going to get better at it in the end.

Lost in the past, Kara soon found herself lifting the lid of the keyboard and absentmindedly tracing patterns on the keys. She didn't really dare try to play --not while her mom was sleeping the better part of a bottle of ambrosia on the couch only a few feet away-- but just being there made her feel a lot better. Being there reminded her of what being with her dad had been like and she really needed to remember... especially because deep down she knew he wasn't going to call, she knew it even though she couldn't quite bring herself to admit it, not even to herself.

Without fully realizing what she was doing, Kara started to play an old song her dad had taught her before he'd left. It told the story of a butterfly that fell in love with a sailor and followed him out to sea, even though the sailor never even noticed that the butterfly was there. That song had always been one of Kara's favorites and, seeing how it was easy enough, her fingers were moving almost without her being aware of it.

The sound of the piano was deeply soothing, in fact it was almost hypnotic, and after a few minutes Kara found herself relaxing as she surrendered to the melody.

The music was the one thing she had left from her dad... even if he wasn't there to teach her anymore and even if she had to hide whenever she wanted to play, whenever she wanted to practice as he had told her she should. The music was also the only thing she'd shared with her dad that she knew her mom would never be able to take away from her... or so she thought until she screamed in agony as her mother slammed the lid on her hands...

Author's notes: Hi guys, okay, I have to admit that this was a difficult scene for me to write, among other things because I had to make a decision in terms of whether I was going to go with a widely accepted explanation or try to come up with a different one. The fact that all of Kara's fingers were broken when she was a child is canon, that was never really an issue. The problem is that even though the explanation involving the lid of her father's piano is widely accepted, it is also an explanation I'm not entirely sure fits the facts. The reason is simple: when playing the piano, children usually have to position their hands further into the keyboard than adults because otherwise they can't really reach the black keys without a major adjustment and that means that chances are the lid would have slammed on the back of her hands rather than on her fingers. In the end, however, I decided against trying to come up with an alternative explanation because --whether it is accurate or not-- the existing one is widely accepted.