Okay, here's Chapter Two. You know what you should probably do? Review. Yeah. Because if I don't get reviews I'm going to get all sad and won't write any more. That's not what you want, now is it? If you want, suggest some things you want me to write about. Because right now, I have about 25 ideas for chapters, but I can always use more.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto... Which isn't surprising because I haven't tried black-mailing Kishimoto-sensei into giving me the rights to Naruto in the last day.

The Akatsuki stood in an ominous circle in the middle of a well lit, well furnished room. The imaginary camera fell on each one of them in turn (yes, including the unnamed ones,) creating a dramatic air, finally landing on the unnamed one who seems to bee the leader of the organization. We will call him Unnamed Akatsuki Member #1.

Member Number One cleared his throat in a very professional manner, gaining everyone's attention. "Due to certain recent events, we were forced to vacate our original headquarters." He paused, and his eyes fell directly on Deidara.

"For the zillionth time, it wasn't my fault!" exclaimed Deidara, even though it so obviously had been.

Everyone glared at him, especially Itachi. He hadn't even gotten to try the skateboard-scooter out! Number One cleared his throat again and continued. "Anyhow, while renovations are being done to the cave, we will be staying here."

"Can't we just stay here anyhow, and just go back to that smelly ol' cave when we need to use it to extract demons and stuff?" asked Kisame.

"Yeah, at least there are chairs here," added Sasori, who's butt was still sore from sitting on rocks all the time.

"No," said Number One.

Deidara, Kisame, Sasori, Itachi and Zetsu all raised their hands in the air to vote, even though no one said they were voting. Oh, but when they were asked to vote, they sure would be ready! The unnamed four just kinda stared at them.

"Voting... for staying," said Itachi when he realized no one else was telling them to vote.

"MAJORITY! We win! We're staying here... yeah!" said Deidara, sticking out his tongue childishly.

"Deidara, were not going to count your vote if you keep acting stupid," said Sasori.

"Okay, I'll stop... yeah..." said Deidara dejectedly.

Number One pretended to ignore all of them. "Anyhow, there are enough bedrooms for everybody to have their own. Except Zetsu. He has to sleep outside."

"Okay," said Itachi.

"No objections here," added Kisame.

"Hey!" whined Zetsu. "There are lots of extra bedrooms! I checked!"

"You must be mistaken... I'm sure I counted eight..." said Number One.

"There are more than that! There are at least twelve!"

"Well... I rented the other bedrooms out."

"To who!" demanded Zetsu.

"To... uh... a troupe of... midgets..." said Number One like the lame-head he is.

"WHAT!"

"Yeah," said Unnamed Akatsuki Member Number One, sensing that his lies were working. "I owed them a favour, so they're staying here. You wont see them though, they're staying in their rooms at all times."

"The Union of Midget Troupes got a restraining order on us!" screeched Zetsu.

"Well... my family is staying over!" said Number One, struggling for an excuse. "Yeah! They were in the area for a reunion, so they asked if they could stay here!"

"You don't have any family!"

"Um... Yes I do?"

"NO!"

"Well, you're still not getting a room," said Number One huffily.

"FINE! I'll sleep on the couch then!" yelled Zetsu, nearly in tears about the fact that no one was standing up for him, and no one wanted him in the house. He had feelings too!

"Eww, no, people want to sit on that, Zetsu! You can't sleep on that!" said Deidara, totally caught up in the moment and wanting to be mean, too.

"But... I'll only be on it at night..." said Zetsu.

"Yeah, and that's like, between eight and twelve hours! Your Zetsu-ness will soak in!"

Zetsu's bottom lip trembled. "FINE THEN! I CAN TELL WHERE I'M NOT WANTED! IF ANYONE WANTS TO APOLOGISE, I'LL BE OUTSIDE IN MY BEDROOM!" He stormed out of the house, tears trailing down his face. No one really cared though, because, well, this was Zetsu we're talking about, and it was a pretty normal occurrence.

"Took him long enough to realize it, though..." muttered Deidara.

And so everybody inside went and claimed rooms, while Zetsu was crying, outside.

He sat up next to a tree and whiped away his tears.

"They'll realize what they're missing by excluding me, someday." Zetsu said to himself.

"And when they do, we'll ignore them, right?" Zetsu's dark half said.

"What? No! We'll go and apologize for not making it more obvious what they were missing!" exclaimed Zetsu's light half.

"Uh... Zetsu... this is why no one likes you. You're too much of a push-over. No, when they realize, we're going to ignore them as if they were something that is easily ignored."

"Oh... will that make them like us?"

"Uh, no duh."

"Oh. If you say so..."

"Oh course I say so! I'm the popular one, I know how these things work. I mean, if I wasn't attached to you, I'd still be inside, I'd bet."

"If you weren't attached to me you would be half of a body!" exclaimed the light half of Zetsu.

"I'd still be more popular than you."

Zetsu hung his head. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Without you, I wouldn't have a heart!"

"And I wouldn't have a gall bladder!"

"Um... yeah. Come on Zetsu, lets go do something until they come to apologize."

"Okay, Zetsu! Um... let's make a tee pee out of these sticks! It'll be totally awesome!"

"Um, I was thinking something more along the lines of para sailing." said the dark half of Zetsu. But the light half of Zetsu was already making a tee pee, which means that the dark half was, too! Because they're just two halves of the same body! Duh.

"Sooooo cool!" squealed Zetsu, totally forgetting how mean everyone had been.

Kisame and Deidara were watching from the window in Kisame's bedroom. "Eww... he's talking to himself again," ewwed Deidara.

"What a loser," said Kisame, shaking his head. A loud 'ding dong' sounded through the house, and Kisame's face lit up into a huge, slightly scary looking smile. "MAIL'S HERE!" he exclaimed, jumping up and down. He opened the window, and shouted, "Zetsu, the mail is here!" Zetsu got up sulkily and started walking to the house.

"He should be happy he has such good friends like us," said Deidara, running to answer the door for the unsuspecting mail person.