Sorry for taking so long to update, I am on a bit of a lazy kick. And by that I mean I have been obsessing about Prince of Tennis. So nerdy! Only three more chapters until OP torment Konoha Genins. This chapter also didn't turn out as good as I had thought it would. Oh well... And suprise appearance by members of my favourite band EVER!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.


Itachi sat in bed naked (because that is how he slept, and like hell he was going to go through the trouble of getting dressed), playing his hand-held electronic Connect Four game. The last few days had been stressful: so much time spent beating up Deidara and Kisame for being stupid. But they couldn't help it, he supposed. Of course he didn't dwell too long on the thought of their intelligence levels, because the computer had made its move and it was again his turn.

There was a quiet, almost hesitant knock on his door. "Who is it!" he called irritably, not breaking his eye contact with the little screen.

There was a pause, then in a quiet voice: "Kisame."

"What do you want?"

"Um... I need your help with something..."

Itachi sighed and put his game down - and by that I mean he threw it over his shoulder where it broke into a zillion pieces as it smashed into the wall. "Come in, then."

Kisame opened the door and shuffled in, looking at the ground. He stopped in front of Itachi, the Uchiha giving him a look that said something like, 'Just tell me what the hell is that you want before you annoy me too much.'

"Umm... I was wondering... if maybe, erm... if you weren't... too, uh, busy... if maybe you could..."

"OUT WITH IT, YEAH!" yelled Deidara from the door.

Kisame and Itachi stared at the blond for a moment in shock, before both gave him death glares. Itachi's was more effective, of course.

"Erm. I'm sorry, yeah," said Deidara in a hurried voice. "I was walking along and heard you talking and thought maybe it would be cool to yell that but I guess not so – bye, yeah." He rushed out of the room before he had even finished his last 'yeah'. This time Kisame closed the door behind him.

"So, what did you want?" drawled Itachi, looking over the side of his bed at the shattered pieces of plastic. Maybe he should have just placed it down nicely.

"Um... Well. I kinda have a date and I was wondering if maybe you could spiff me up a bit," Kisame said.

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "You haven't been telling those people who want to join that it is a requirement to go out with you first again, have you?"

"No!" exclaimed Kisame, maybe a little too quickly. "I can get a date on my own, you know!"

Itachi gave him a look that said 'Uh, whatever, when was the last time you did that?'. Kisame frowned. "So... why do you need me to do this, why can't you have Deidara do it or something? He certainly has enough makeup."

"He's been making fun of me! Besides, I trust you more! Look at you! You're more masculine than he is," stated Kisame. "Even though you wear makeup, too..."

Itachi was slightly confused, but he supposed that was supposed to be a compliment. And since having Kisame, who was so much less pretty than him, ask him for help and compliment him made him feel so superior and cheery that he decided to go along with it. "Okay, Kisame, I'll tell you what. I'll do your hair and makeup and stuff, but you're gonna have to do stuff for me later."

"Um... okay, Itachi. But... I already have to do anything you tell me, remember? The toothbrush? You never said when my being your slave ends."

"That's right!" exclaimed Itachi gleefully. "You're still my slave! Awesome! This'll work out well, then! Sit down now, so I can start."

And so Kisame sat down at the chair in front of Itachi's vanity, and Itachi lept of his bed, dragging most of the bed sheets with him for censorship's sake.

And so he did all he could to make Kisame as beautiful as possible. It was fairly hard work. About half an hour later, Itachi proclaimed he was done with Kisame.

"Now get your butt out of my chair!" exclaimed Itachi, tipping Kisame off said piece of furniture.

"But what about blush? I need blush!" whined Kisame.

"Look, Kisame, I have no shade of blush that wouldn't look completely ridiculous on that blue skin of yours. Now go." Itachi rubbed his temples.

"But Itachiiii..."

"LISTEN TO YOUR MASTER, YEAH!"

Once again, Deidara scrambled from the door in fear of being mauled.

Kisame sighed a loud sigh. "I guess I'll go, then..." He got up and slouched over to the door. Right when he was outside the door, he turned. "But--"

SLAM

Kisame stared for a minute at the closed door, before yelling, "FINE! I hate you too, POOH-HEAD!"

And so Kisame ran off, fearing for his life.


Kisame didn't stop sprinting until he had reached the restaurant. He quietly told the waiter-seater-'This way, sir' guy what his name was, and was seated - because he had been a smart little date-planner and had got a reservation!

It was then Kisame spotted the bread sticks. He reached out for one hesitantly, and started munching on the tasteless baked good. He was on the last one when a woman with pale skin, long blue hair, and blue lipstick approached, accompanied by a sex-god-y male. The female whispered something into the male's ear.

"He says, are you Kisame?" relayed the male.

Kisame nodded, and both newcomers sat down.

"Um... Mana, right?" asked Kisame through a mouth full of bread. The blue-haired woman nodded. He turned to her companion. "And you are...?"

Mana whispered something in to the guy's ear again, and said "He says that who I am is irrelevant. I am just here to relay what he wants to say."

Kisame was kinda like, 'Ooookaaaaaayy, weirdo'. But not out loud. Actually, he would have been just stupid enough to say it out loud, except the waiter had come over and handed them menus. The guy accompanying Mana refused the menu politely.

So after ordering, the silence was really getting to Kisame. Cuz, hell - he hung out with Deidara all the time, and that guy never shut up. It was always 'Kisame, run, quick, or he'll get you, too!' or 'Kisame, I need you to stand right here. Don't move til Sasori comes, okay?' or 'Kisame, Itachi told me to tell you to give me sexual favours.'

Of course, Itachi had said no such thing.

Anyhow, he was getting antsy. So; being the idea-fountain he is, he decided to make small talk!

'So, Mana. What do you like to do in your spare time?'

More whispering. "He says he has no spare time: his entire life is dedicated to music, and anything he does has to do with that," explained the guy. I'm sure you've ALL guessed who it is my now. Hint: Moon Child.

"Oh," said Kisame. He kinda looked like he was expecting something like, 'Oh, I play checkers!' ... or maybe 'Oh, I'm a porn star!'

There was another long, painful silence. Kisame was saved when the waiter came back with their food. Mana had ordered a croissant, for no apparent reason except for don't feel like thinking of anything else.

Kisame had ordered... well. It was a kind of lumpy something-or-other floating around in a greenish-coloured broth. It reeked of dead fish - the kind that died on the beach and little kids poke at. Apparently this didn't bother Kisame, and he started downing the repulsive substance, whereas Mana was politely nibbling his croissant.

"So, what now?" asked Kisame, who had finished his goo in about half a minute. Mana whispered something into Mr. I'm-Just-Kinda-Here's ear.

"He says that you have repulsed him utterly."

"Oh..."

Silence.

"...Why do you keep referring to Mana as 'he'?"

"Because he is Mana, and he is the queen."

"Um... ?"

"...He's a guy."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Ooohh..."

Mana continued nibbling on his croissant.

"Well, this is awkward!" said Kisame. "Would you excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom."

Kisame got up and headed vaguely in the direction of the bathrooms. And, ever so conveniently, there was an exit right next to them.

Mana and his friend exchanged glances briefly, got up, and left. Through the front door.


"And then, when I got back from the washroom, they were both gone!" exclaimed Kisame.

"They probably thought you weren't coming back, yeah," said Deidara, nodding sagely. "I wouldn't have."

Kisame frowned. "I got all prettied up for nothing!" he sobbed. "Woe! Woooeeee!"

Deidara patted Kisame on the back comfortingly. "Shh, it's okay, yeah. I have an idea, if you don't want to waste the makeup..."

"What?" sniffed Kisame.

"We can play house! You can be the pretty stay-at-home mom, Zetsu will be our kid, and I'll be the abusive father, yeah! But only abusive to Zetsu."

"Okay!"