Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek, I'll be sure to return Kathryn, Chakotay and any other characters I borrow back to the right shelve with no prior memory of this incident. Thank you.
A/N: Hey, it's me again. Once again, sorry for posting so late – this time I've been held back by exams, but I have hols coming up again soon (and I'm not going anywhere this time), so don't worry loads of chaps coming up soon. And hey, thanks for all the reviews, you guys rock... Once again, here goes nothing!
Believe in Me – Deeper into the Jungle.
Every ounce of common sense Kathryn still had, told her to turn into the shuttle and run, but the voice was so commanding – so forceful, so different to the one, which had lulled and attempted to sooth her into some form of comfort for the past month.
"Mark?" It took Kathryn's analytical mind seconds to kick in before she realized how deep the line of deception ran.
A cadet seemed to think Kathryn's shock was a fleeting advantage, not only to the mission, but his future in Starfleet. He took a step forward, rifle poised, ready to shoot. Abruptly, Mark help up a hand to stop him.
"Sir?" The cadet was confused. This was their chance, why wasn't the Commander taking it? Hadn't they spent months at the Academy instilling into the pupils that the best time to take an enemy down was when it was least able to retaliate?
"Kathryn, you are not my enemy." Commander Mark Johnson ignored the young officer.
Rule number two – never get involved with your prey, the officer chanted to himself. "But Commander…"
The voice echoed in Kathryn's head, it was the last thing she heard as she felt Taya being ripped from her arms as she tumbled backwards into the shuttle. Mark had never expressed any interest in Starfleet, yet there he was commander of what obviously a well trained team.
"Sorry," grinned Tom Paris, knocking her out of her reverie as he shoved a bundle back into her arms. A stream of phaser fire made its way through the hatch as it closed, seemingly in slow motion. Kathryn watched as it entered, moving only seconds before it scorched the floor she had just been sitting on.
She stumbled towards the front of the shuttle, as she felt the familiar shudder of a shuttle taking off. With one hand firmly cradling Taya close to her, she used the other to hold on to a chair's armrest. Never had the familiar grey walls of a Starfleet shuttle felt so uninviting and yet so comfortable.
"Lucky for you, you have the best pilot in boththe Alpha and Delta Quadrant," Tom winked at her from his place at the helm up front, deftly dodging a stream of phaser fire from the pursuing shuttle.
Kathryn smiled weakly at him. Tom's ability to make light the direst situation often amazed, if not amused her. Even when facing the Borg he had been calm, making jokes about their lack of humanity and individualism. She took a deep ragged breath and slowly the Captain's mask slipped back into place. She sighed; the transition from woman to Captain seemed to be taking longer these days.
"Charge phasers and target their engines."
Tom hesitated; as far as he knew, Captain Janeway had never fired on a Starfleet ship before, "Captain, are you su…?"
"Do it!"
"Aye ma'am." How could he have forgotten the wrath of Captain Kathryn Janeway?
"Fire!"
Tom swiftly flew his fingers over the appropriate controls. What would Chakotay say if he'd seen Kathryn like this? He wondered. Although a Maquis rebel, Voyager's ex-first officer had always made it a point never to fire on the Federation vessels he encountered and yet here, his by-the-book wife was blowing it away on the first ship she had been command of since her return to Earth. If she didn't watch it, she'd be joining him in the 'Detention Centre' soon. He considered it for a moment; perhaps she wouldn't really mind it.
He studied the sensor results. "Enemy ship not pursuing," he turned to report to the auburn admiral, who stood flushed behind the co-pilot's station; in a stance he remembered so well.
"It's good to have you back Admiral."
"It's good to be back, Tom."
Although Kathryn knew her home in Indiana was far from the safe haven it had once been, she felt a great burden life off her shoulders as she slumped into her living room chair. Although her body was comfortable, her mind protested, this is Chakotay's chair, it told her, reminding her of all the countless arguments they had had over the large armchair afore the fireplace. In the end, she had reluctantly surrendered, but only in exchange for the large oak desk in the study and complete control over shuttle maintenance. "With your track record…" she had warned to subdue his protests.
As Tom bustled about in the next room, she took in her surroundings. Since Chakotay had been arrested, she hadn't the heart to come in here, the place he had been most proud off – their living room. Every piece of furniture – bar the arm chair and sofa had been handcrafted by him, with patterns of eagles and lizards. She smiled, thinking of their significance and she remembered their first vision quest together.
"An eagle, I should have guessed." She laughed as she looked up into the bright sky, allowing Chakotay to lead their traipse the thick jungle.
He merely smiled as he wove his way through the thick trees, looking back protectively every few seconds to make sure Kathryn was alright. From what she had told him, she had hardly any real experience of forests, much less dark, dangerous jungles and although this one was just in his imagination, his need to care for her, seemed to extend from the waking world into this one as well.
"We're almost there," he comforted as he sensed her pulling on his hand to slow down.
"No Chakotay," her voice was a husky whisper, "We're already here."
He peered into the trees. Although daytime, the light hardly penetrated through the thick canopy of trees. "Kathryn, this isn't…" He paused as he felt her hand slip out of his – it took him a moment to adjust to the lack of closure. When he did, he realised she was walking towards one of the large oaks, her hand outstretched in front of her. She paused momentarily and although he couldn't make out what it was, something scurried onto the palm of her hand. She whispered soothingly to it as she sauntered back towards him. "Chakotay," she introduced, "I'd like you to meet my spirit guide."
A lizard.
"A lizard," he heard a voice overhead speak. He glanced up at the eagle which swooped down onto his shoulder. "Kathryn," the eagle addressed the lizard rather than the red-head Captain who stood before him. "I take it you have come for our blessing."
Kathryn wasn't sure if she should feel insulted, or glad that the hard penetrating glare wasn't directed at her; but it might as well have been. She struggled to keep her gaze on the great bird before her and from the pressure of her lizard's tiny feet digging into her hand, it was clearly doing the same. The lizard ran up her arm and in that instant, Kathryn could have kicked herself for betraying her weakness and looking away.
The eagle turned to look proudly at Chakotay, who was grinning at Kathryn – clearly amused by her obvious discomfort. The great Kathryn Janeway defeated by a bird of prey – never!
"There will be hardships ahead – great hardships to endure. There always have been and there always will be."
Kathryn nodded – that was obvious, the Delta Quadrant, facing constant threat from species after species, struggling to negotiate Voyager's survival, keep the crew moral intact and far from any ideas of mutiny – those were hardships enough. And although, after all that it was difficult to imagine anything being more difficult, the idea that life wouldn't be a bed of roses was logical enough to be expected.
"Things are not as they seem."
Her scientific mind could comprehend that as well. Who would have thought an innocent black hole void of stars and anything of any interest had a pull of gravity so strong it could swallow up and crush a whole planetary system? All these things she knew, so why was this big bird repeating them all over again?
"The deeper you go, the more peril there will be. The fruit of your lives depends on it."
This was beyond Kathryn, it didn't make sense. She wasn't planning on going deeper into anywhere – not even space. When they offered her a promotion, Admiral Hayes had warned her in cautious tones there would be no space travel involved – at least not for a while, until she adjusted to life back on Earth. And as for the fruit of her life, as far as she saw it, her life was fruitful enough, heck, hadn't she become an Admiral like her father and wasn't she married to the man she loved?
What a bunch of nonsense, her lizard told her. Kathryn looked at Chakotay and his eagle to see if they had heard the scornful words. They hadn't, but instead seemed to be involved in pretty much a private conversation of their own.
What did it all mean, though? Kathryn asked her reptilian counterpart, but the vision quest had ended and she found herself lying in Chakotay's arms in their bed. "What did it all mean, though?" She asked him. He shrugged as he kissed her forehead, "We'll know when the time's right. Right now, I have a whole lot of other things on my mind," he said as he glanced towards the wedding image captured only hours ago.
"What did it all mean, though?" She found herself addressing the very same picture on her mantelpiece. She didn't expect an answer, of course and rather found herself staring at the lizard carved above the fireplace for a response to her question.
"You have to go, it's not safe here."
"Tom?" Startled, Kathryn jumped out of her chair and whirled to face her ex-Lieutenant.
Tom glanced at the picture and then back again at Kathryn, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to in…"
"No, no, I was lost in thought," She ran a hand through her hair, "I just have to grab a few things and we can go; Taya's things, mostly."
Tom nodded, he had a child of his own – he understood.
As Kathryn hurried upstairs she stumbled over Chakotay's boots on the stairs. How many times do I have to tell him to put these away? She scowled. Instantaneously, it dawned on her that she might never get to tell him to put anything away ever again. "Argh!" She kicked a boot down the stairs. Taya started to cry as it thumped down the stairs and crashed to the floor, with a resolute sound.
"Shhh," she said as she marched upstairs, not for a second stopping to look at the nursery Taya had never slept in. Only when she neared the bedroom, did she realise her swift pace wasn't helping sooth the child.
"We'll get him back, don't worry" she assured her wailing daughter, but Taya's crying persisted; she had never known this 'him' her mother kept referring to. "I promise you Taya, we will," Kathryn repeated with as much conviction as she could muster. Taya sniveled and hiccupped; clearly 'he', meant a lot to her mother.