A/N: As promised, the second update of the week. So this is the last chapter of Arc 1 - Anchor, and it will introduce us to the second arc where everyone has to adjust because of the massacre. So this is kind of like a conclusion, well, part conclusion.
Beta'd by the remarkable Alice J ^_^
Chapter 14 - Night-Blooming Cereus (Part I - Wither Away)
I wasn't delusional to think that all of this was just a dream, just a genjutsu. Dreams were gone when you awaken, and genjutsu could be broken once it has served its' purpose. But reality, oh, the reality was a bitch.
I regained my consciousness with a scream. "Stop!", I heard my own high-pitched voice and proceeded to flail my arms around as if grasping for something nonexistent.
Someone held me down and whispered gently, "Calm down, you are okay, you are in a hospital right now. You are okay." That was Shun's voice, his voice was always calm and collected, but this time, it didn't smooth down my panic.
"Stop! Please stop! Don't kill them." I yelled towards the empty air, but all I saw was the bright white wall in the hospital. Itachi was gone, he was truly gone. I let my arm fell on my forehead and covered my face.
"Are you okay? Maiko, are you hurting anywhere?" Shun asked me gently. I felt his hands on me besides my bed. Akira-shishou was also there, I caught a bit of his sandy hair in the corner of the room. What was I supposed to say, that everything I longed for was snatched away from me, and now I might be broken?
"Where is my little brother, where is Sasuke? Where is he?" I didn't have anything else to ask. Sasuke, well, he was all I had left. Shun didn't answer me, Shishou didn't answer me, so I asked again with my voice raised: "Where is Sasuke! I want to see him!"
"He is fine, he is in a coma right now." Shun answered me quickly.
"I want to see him." I said coldly.
"You should rest Maiko, they just stabilized you with a surgery, and you just woke up from a three-day coma. You are not in any condition to get up now." Shun argued, but I didn't care.
"Take me to him! He's the last surviving member of my family, so TAKE ME TO HIM!" When Shun stayed silent, I decided to get up and do it myself. I could feel clearly that they did a surgery on my stomach, probably to save my damaged organs. The sedative and the painkillers were making my body heavy and my head dizzy, but nevertheless, I pushed my body off of the bed and tried to stand awkwardly by holding onto the bed railing.
"Fine, I'll take you there, just don't strain yourself." Shun let out a sigh and helped me walked awkwardly. He took me slowly to the room beside mine, and he pushed the door open slightly for me. I saw my little brother, lying helplessly on the bed. He was all cleaned up, like an angel lying on a white bed. He must be getting the repercussion from the genjutsu, I had no doubt that whatever Itachi did to him, it was with the Mangekyou Sharingan.
"Will he ever wake up?" I asked lightly, he was still conscious when I passed out, but there was no telling what the effects of a strong genjutsu would be.
"I don't know, he's physically healed, but the genjutsu specialists said that he was traumatized by the genjutsu and they were not sure when he will wake up. It's all up to him now." Shun told me with no sugarcoating at all. That was so like him, he never liked to tell white lies.
"It was the Mangekyou Sharingan, he did it, he really did it." I whispered. He wouldn't kill Sasuke, would he? He left him alive, even when he could have killed him in the blink of an eye. Just like he did with mom and dad.
I didn't stay very long, I left quickly after seeing Sasuke was still alive and I went back to my room. "What happened to him, what happened to Itachi." I asked Akira-shishou. He was a jonin, he would know, but whether or not he would tell me, that's a different story.
To my surprise, he actually told me, "He killed his Anbu pursuers and ran away. Uchiha Itachi is declared an S-rank missing-nin." I clenched my teeth. There's really no going back, is there?
"Please, Shishou, Shun, leave me alone. I need to be alone to think about some stuff." I said quickly, vaguely feeling the tears start to swell up in my eyes. Shun wanted to protest, but Akira-shishou pulled him away. I dipped my head to thank him before slamming the room door shut. Then I crouched down in the corner and let the tears fall.
The hell just happened? It wasn't devastation for the loss of lives, it was a cold thing to say, but the Uchiha clan was not the most important thing to me. I didn't feel any obligation for the clan, nor do I mourn for the clan's death. I was a selfish person, the only ones I mourned for was Shisui and my parents. But what really made me felt helpless and desperate was the confusion, the mystery. Why did they die? Why were they killed? No one could tell me that, and it felt like everything was destroyed before I was even conscious of it.
Don't cry until the mystery is solved, I told myself that once, but now, I was crying with the mystery still hanging. Did I even care about the answers? Or was I just lamenting my fate where when I finally find a reason to anchor myself to the world, it goes away like a poof. Why was I even complaining, I was a sinner anyway. How many people have I killed, how many families have I torn apart, how many families have mourned because of me? So was this life a retribution for my last? If that were the case, then why did I even try to make a difference? Why did I even try to love people and expect that love back. If this was a world that already had its script written down like a story, then why was I even here?
"Damn it… it's all gone now…" I sobbed helplessly, burying my face in my laps. It was all just a dream in the end. A dream with a bad start, a hopeful transition and eventually, it ended with disappointment and heartbreak. They say you only live once, but I lived twice. Somehow, I cheated death once. That sounds funny, actually, really funny. Out of all things, I cheated death, or maybe there were others, but I just didn't know.
I started laughing, cracking under the pressure and madness. "I don't know, I don't know. What do you want me to know? I don't know…" I was mumbling nonsense. I was so confused, so confused. Everything was so strange, what are you trying to tell me, Itachi? What are you trying to show me, Mom? What do you want me to know, Shisui? Why were you all acting like this? What. Am. I. Suppose. To. Know. I am tired of trying to figure out the mystery, it's so complicated, too complicated. What was the point? Even if I figured out why you killed our family, Itachi, you could never come back. Even if I figured out what the hell was wrong with the clan, they were all gone.
"Ahh!" I screamed and covered my face, I just wanted to scream and forget everything. But, there was Sasuke, my only pillar left. He would want answers, he would want conclusions and he would want revenge. I couldn't just let him do that, he would get himself killed, or worse, get himself killed for the wrong reason. He is like one of those younger operatives who were impulsive and oblivious. Their emotions were obvious and their actions were straight forward. Stupid. Child. He would get himself killed.
"Get out! Whoever is here, get the hell out!" I yelled out annoyingly when I heard something rustling by the window. At this point, I didn't give a damn if it was the Anbu or even the Hokage. I was mad, crazy mad. There was a small wind and then he appeared. Hatake Kakashi was in his Anbu uniform with his hound mask on, but I knew it was him.
"What the hell?" I muttered. Right, the Hokage probably commanded Anbu to watch over the survivors; clan massacres were definitely not a small incident in the village. But they were supposed to be silent. If Kakashi of the Sharingan wanted to be silent, I would never find him in a million years.
"You are having an emotional breakdown." He said calmly to me.
"Am I not allowed to? I just had my family killed by my brother." I retorted, an emotional breakdown was the least of my problems right now. I was lost with what to do, drowning in a sea of 'why'. There were so many things that made no sense, I felt like I missed something critical, or maybe I just missed everything because I ran away. He stayed silent and still.
I ran away. I was a coward. I ran away and now I am a lost child. Suffocating, asphyxiating. I couldn't breathe. I am drowning in sadness, in mystery, in my own cowardliness. In the end, I have no one but myself to blame.
"You know, there's a kind of flower called the night-blooming cereus. The legend says that it only blooms once in its lifetime at night, and then it dies. Some people say that they use up all their life energy for one bloom, one show, one most beautiful night. But what if they aren't that selfless, using all they had for a one hit wonder? What if they wanted it to last longer, what if they just wanted to hold on to it, because the feeling of blooming is ecstasy like and addictive. It's like the cruelest joke ever, knowing that it will be short-lived, yet you still have to experience that. Every moment, it's tempting the flowers, asking them to bloom and they do, even if knowing that they will fall afterward." I ranted, not sure what exactly I was saying, or how I expected my Anbu listener to respond to it. That story, that flower, I thought I remembered it… from where? From whom? From when? It was a memory. It was my memory. There should be another part of it, shouldn't it? Beyond the sadness, the regret. But I couldn't quite remember it.
"If you don't want to wither away, then find something to hold on to." my temporary sensei said to me and I let out a desperate laugh.
"Stop asking me to do something! I don't know what to do! I don't know anything!" I screamed at him even though he did not do anything wrong. At the end of my temper tantrum, I whispered in defeat: "I am tired, really tired. So tired that I just want every question to stop plaguing me."
"I'm probably the worst choice to be giving you advice for an emotional breakdown; you need to ask your Shishou for that. But I imagine you don't want to do that for now." he was right, I really don't. "You just need something, anything, no matter how small. Duty, responsibility, hope, vengeance. Anything."
"Vengeance? Sasuke will probably hold on to the hate now, knowing him, that stupid little child. He doesn't want answers, he wants vengeance. He can be unreasonable like that, always eyeing the results, not the process." I muttered, analyzing my brother to avoid thinking about something else. I wonder why I didn't realize this earlier, Sasuke was always so obvious, but I guess I never had to worry about his flaws until now.
"Then do you want vengeance? To be fair, it's probably easier for you if you do."
"Most likely true, but I don't know. I want answers, and if vengeance is a part of the answer, then yeah, sure why not. Sasuke would want revenge by killing Itachi, but I don't want to do that just yet. I want a conclusion, I want him to explain to me what the hell is going on. Depending on his answer, I may or may not kill him. He freaking just left me, left this mess to me. That little…" I punched the wall behind me, trying to think up what he was now. I hated him, he killed our parents. I loved him because he was my brother. I didn't really want to kill him because I both hated and loved him. I felt the rage flare up inside me and when I looked up again to face Kakashi, he was staring at my eyes.
"What?" I asked annoyingly.
"Your eyes… they are different" Kakashi answered me slowly as if he wasn't sure how to react to it. I got up immediately, ignoring the numbness and pain in my body and I stumbled into the bathroom.
I looked at myself in the mirror, seeing the two red eyes staring back at me from the mirror. Kakashi was right, they were different, a lot different. Mangekyou Sharingan, my eyes evolved to Mangekyou. At that moment, I didn't know if I should be laughing or crying. It was stupid, that whoever was in charge of this world was rewarding me for the deaths I had witnessed. Were they pitying me for the trauma I had to endure? Was this how Itachi felt when he activated his Mangekyou from Shisui's death, the pathetic power that fed on sadness and heartbreak? This is so wrong. This world is so wrong.
I looked at my eyes closer, the backgrounds were still red, but instead of the wheel and the three tomoes in each eye, there was a three-petaled flower in each of my eyes with black shadows trailing behind each petal. I noticed that my left eye was missing one of the red and black petals, so instead, it was left with two petals and three shadows. I pushed the bathroom door open and looked at the only other sharingan user in the room with confusion and anger.
"What the hell is this?" I demanded, desperately looking for something else to think. However, Kakashi seemed to reluctant to answer that.
"It's your mangekyou sharingan, I guess it would be strange if you didn't activate it." Kakashi explained quietly and I shook my head at him.
"Sorry, I didn't explain clearly, I know this is mangekyou sharingan, I want to know what the hell happened to my left eye and why the hell did one of the petals, or designs, or whatever, disappear." I asked again. Another mystery, I hated mysteries.
"I don't know, I'm not supposed to be an expert at this. But my best guess would be, you used your left eye's ability, and that cost you one of the petals." Kakashi answered uncertainly, and I pounded my head, trying to remember what the hell did I do. There was the black fire, and then somehow the time stopped. THE TIME STOPPED.
"Oh shit, I probably did." I said to Kakashi, "Will the petal come back? Or do I only get three tries? Then my eyes go what, back to the original sharingan, or will it go blind?" I shot out the questions like bullets, knowing my temporary instructor was probably sighing behind his mask. Come on, focus on something else other than the blood, the blade, the bodies.
"I don't know, maybe it will come back, maybe not. Just calm down for the moment, the information about the abilities will probably come to you. It's your eyes after all." He said to me while shaking his head and I did try to pull out information from my mind. He was right, it's supposed to be my eyes, I am supposed to have control over it. Although overuse of the Mangekyou Sharingan would definitely result in blindness, I did not want to go blind early just because I wasn't sure how to use it. There was a click or something in my subconscious, and then there was some vague information flooding my mind. My right eye had a different ability than the right, I almost choked when I realized, it was Amaterasu, the same kind Itachi had. Genes, heritage. The cruelest reminder. As for my left eye…
"Kannon Bosatsu" I whispered its name, the ability that resides in my left eye. The good news was the petal will come back after all, so I have more than three tries in my lifetime before I become blind. The bad news was, it will take at least thirty days for one petal to grow back, and if I happened to use all three of them, then my left eye would be temporarily blind for a while until one petal could grow back. The easier version of its ability would be 'to stop the flow and consequence of time in a set cubic region', how long I could hold it would be depending on the area of the cubic region, my chakra level and the chakra level inside of the region.
I almost laughed because of the irony. I wanted to stop Itachi so I could catch him, but when I actually stopped him, I failed to reach him. Cruel, cruel, cruel. Everything was so cruel. Why give me a power when all I can do is fail? Kami, someone, please tell me why!
The amount of chakra and attention needed to activate this skill was insane, that's why my physical body was weak and vulnerable during its activation. It was a miracle that I actually moved last time with a number of injuries on me, and that meant it would probably take more than thirty days for me to regain that petal.
"By your expression, I take it that you already found that out?" Kakashi asked as I was opened my eyes again. I felt the chakra retreating and stopped feeding my eyes, and the mangekyou sharingan finally faded away.
"Yes." I answered briefly, not feeling like elaborating on the topic, and Kakashi did not pursue it.
"Hokage-sama would probably want to talk to you soon, so think about what you are going to do. Like it or not, you are the oldest Uchiha in the village, and it's your responsibility now." Kakashi warned me, and I didn't answer him. After a moment of silence, he disappeared, leaving me alone to think about the mystery I wanted to unravel, the answers I wanted to obtain and the conclusion I wanted to reach.
He is right, only two Uchihas are left and one of them is in a coma. Maybe if I were on my own, I wouldn't care about what kind of rotting death I receive. But, Sasuke is still here. He is still here. If the sky were to fall down, then someone needs to hold it up. I am willing to do that for him.
(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ fuwa~fuwa~desu~~~
"I'm sorry, Akira-shishou." That was the first thing I said to my shishou the next morning. Even after all those years of reading his expression, at this moment, I realized that I couldn't read him.
"I've been thinking about what I want to do, now that this happened. There is something I want to know, and there is someone I want to find or kill, depends on that answer. In order to do that, I need to be in Anbu." I explained calmly. I articulated each word slowly as if I had to think about each word over and over again to make sure of what I meant.
There was a momentary silence before he spoke up: "You probably thought it through yourself, already. If you want to hunt down that person, then Anbu is your best choice. However, you seemed to reject the idea of Anbu just three years ago, I originally thought it was mostly because of Daichi's death, but now I don't think that's all. I am your teacher, your Shishou, I don't want to hinder your freedom, but I can't let you walk towards a hell hole."
I took a breath, this was more of a convincing myself rather than convincing my teacher. I closed my eyes for a second and let out the words: "I didn't want to go to Anbu when my father forced me to because of some stupid personal fear. I didn't like the fact that I don't have control over my life, but now I realize, I never did and I never will, not until I find my answer." Whether I liked it or not, I was essentially trapped. There was no way I could have lived my life normally unless I was able to find that answer. Itachi owned me that answer, and I owned it to Sasuke.
"I am confused, really confused. It's like I am in the middle of some complicated mystery where everyone else knows what the hell is going on except for me. And Itachi, that little freaking… left me behind like some idiot running in circles. Sasuke, he is the truly unfortunate one, but he shouldn't be the one to take that responsibility. The chances are, no matter what answers I gain, it won't change the fact that Itachi killed my parents, Sasuke's dear mom and dad. Sasuke will want to kill him no matter what like an idiot chasing with tunnel vision. That's fine, I want to hunt him down and get my answer then I will kill him, then Sasuke will get his revenge and the Uchiha name will be cleared like Sasuke wanted." I said like it was someone else's business as if I didn't just talk about killing my own brother. I could almost remember my past identity, the name known as 'Artemis'. However, do I really want to kill him? I don't know, I really don't. I am still confused, so confused, but at least I am trying to take the first step.
"You sounds like you are doing a lot of things you don't want, Anbu never forces people to join, not if they don't want to." Akira-shishou narrowed his eyes at me, but I stared back fearlessly.
"You once asked team 6 what our dreams are. I couldn't give you a definite answer, This time, I could tell you, my dream is to get that answer, preferably before it drives me crazy. Whatever stupid thing Sasuke wants to do, I will do it for him. Just like how Itachi did it for me once, he said it was his freedom to choose when I was stuck. It's my own freedom to choose to take on Sasuke's burden when he thinks that's the only thing he could do." I placed my hand on my heart to show my determination. We Uchihas are stupid, we are stupid for love and we are stupid for hate. I thought once that I was immune to that stupidity, but now I see that it's contagious, from Shisui to Itachi to Sasuke and now to me.
Anbu, I supposed for me, it was the codename for the abyss I didn't want to fall into again. But I was willing to enter it again in order to find what I needed. What happened in there, Itachi? What changed you? What did you have to go through? I wanted to know what my brother went through and I wanted to know how far behind was my ability when compared to his. You said I wouldn't understand, you said I shouldn't even try. But I want to know, I want to see for myself what you had to go through. I want to know what I missed when I cowardly ran away.
"You are pushing it a little here, Maiko. Placing your dream on such a singular thing, what will you do when you found that answer?"
"It's not an easy answer to get, Shishou, I will probably spend my life on it, or I may never succeed. Itachi could kill me before I get the answer out of him, I have never won against him before. But I do want to leave everything to Sasuke when it's all over, I think I deserved that much. I will spend the rest of my life serving Konoha as a kunoichi if I live. Do I have to find another dream afterward?" I asked rhetorically and this time, Akira-shishou stayed silent.
"Anbu will get me what I want, at least, the fastest way. Itachi is now an S-rank missing-nin, and thus his continuous search will fall into the hands of high-rank Anbu teams. Anbu will not only give me direct access to Itachi's hunting mission, I also have a feeling that there will be some answers in Anbu as well. There is something one can only find when they are in there themselves." I was taking a risk here, if the wrong person heard this, they could very well say that I was abusing the Konoha system for my own selfish gain, and in a way that's true.
"Very well, I understand your reasons. You will always be one of my best students. Hard working, talented, but sometimes very annoying with your little smart habits. Promise me you will practice the kenjutsu hard." Akira-shishou finally said, there was a certain sadness in his voice, but he still managed to ruffle my hair with a smile.
"Of course, I could never be grateful enough for all the time you trained me, all the things you did for me. You will always be my Shishou, my first and only Shishou." I exclaimed and I meant it. I was starting a new path, changing my goals and changing my life. I stood up and gave my master a deep bow, and I didn't raise my head until he pulled me up.
"You know what, as a parting gift, I'll give you the permission to call yourself the apprentice of Shinbara Akira, just don't ruin my family name."
(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ fuwa~fuwa~desu~~~
Just like Kakashi warned me, I was indeed summoned by the Sandaime Hokage-sama a few weeks after I woke up from the coma. I was led and escorted to the Hokage's tower by some Anbu, but when I arrived, I wasn't sent to his office, but rather, I was taken into a large conference room, where dozens of eyes were on me.
"Hokage-sama. Respectful Councilmen and Clan Leaders." I bowed to the observers in the room, I'd be stupid if I couldn't recognize the stoic man with the byakugan as Hyūga Hiashi; or the blond haired man as Yamanaka Inoichi; or the one eyed old man covered in bandages as Shimura Danzō, one of the most powerful councilmen.
Shisui once warned me to be careful of that man, he told me: "Shimura Danzō is the kind of person that hides in the dark, but you should never underestimate the influence he exerts on Konoha. Stay away from the council, especially Shimura Danzō, if you don't want to get caught up by a bunch of political bull crap." I could understand why now, Danzō gave off of a dangerous aura, he was calculating, and he could get what he wanted just by patiently waiting for his prey to fall into the trap. He was a spider, weaving his webs from the dark, catching all insects alike.
"Welcome, Maiko-chan, sorry to drag you out of the hospital when you are still recovering from your… traumas." Hokage-sama said to me in a kind voice, he soon continued explaining: "There are just of few more things we need clarification and we need to discuss your future as well as your brother's." I nodded and waited patiently for the questions. The Hokage signed at the man beside him, who had the typical Nara spiky ponytail and two scars across his face. No doubt, he must be Nara Shikaku, the Jonin Commander.
"Can you confirm that Uchiha Itachi was the one responsible for the massacre?" Commander Nara asked.
"I saw him killing my parents. I never actually saw him killing others, but he was the only one there." I answered honestly and there was a buzzing silence to the room. Of course the councilmen and clan leaders already knew who was responsible, or otherwise, they wouldn't declare Itachi a missing-nin so soon.
"Did he expressed why he committed the atrocity." the Jonin Commander asked again.
'Hell if I know, but that's what I'm trying to figure out.' was what I wanted to say, but instead, I said: "He said he was cleansing the clan." What a load of crap, I don't believe for a second that this was his reason. There was a slight round of murmur going around the conference room, but they subsided when the Hokage-sama cleared his throat.
"Thank you Maiko-chan, I know it must be hard for you, but we just need to talk about the future of the Uchiha clan." The Hokage said to me.
"There is nothing to discuss, the Uchiha clan is no more, there are only two children left. They should be adopted by other Clans until they are of age." Danzō spoke in a deep voice, and I found myself irritated by this voice. How dare he, deciding our future for us?
"Danzō, that's not a fixed matter yet, I would like to speak with Maiko-chan first." Hokage-sama hushed Danzō before he turned to me, giving me permission to speak.
"Forgive me Elder Danzō, but I believe I'm not a child anymore, I have been a Chunin for three years now, and I can take care of my brother until he is of age. There is no need for us to be adopted." I responded with determination. There was no way I would let some random stranger have control over our lives.
"What about the Uchiha compound, even if we recognize you as an independent Clan head, I don't believe you have the financial means to pay taxes to keep your compound. If that's the case, then Konoha will take back the land given to your clan as public properties." I didn't really react when I heard Danzō's words. The compound didn't mean that much for me anyway, but I guess it would be unfair for Sasuke to get his home taken away. However, before I could even decide how to respond, another voice spoke up before I did.
"I'm sorry, Hokage-sama, but I can not entertain the idea that if something horrible were to happen to my clan, that the compound and the land will be taken away from my children when they are the only survivors. We pay tribute to the village both through service and financial means, but that should not be taken as taxes for the land we were given since the founding of Konoha." Hyūga Hiashi said in a clear voice, and his speech gained him many sounds of approval from the nearby clan leaders.
"I'm afraid that Hyūga-san is right, Danzō. The Uchiha children have the right to the compound." Hokage-sama declared as I watched this drama unfold in front of me.
"Fine, but the Konoha Police Station is a public building owned by the village. Seeing that the Uchiha clan do not have the means to run it, it will be returned to the village as public projects." Danzō said unwillingly, but the expression from the Hokage sealed the deal.
"This is settled then. Uchiha Maiko and Uchiha Sasuke will be given the ownership of the Uchiha compound and Uchiha Maiko will be given the custody of herself and her brother until he is of age. Meeting adjourned." Hokage-sama declared loudly. The various members bowed and then left. I watched the last bits of the conversation passively like it was anybody else's business but mine. The compound was just a place, a place filled with bad memories, but I'll be damned before letting some other clan elders control Sasuke's life and mine.
To my surprise, I was not escorted back to the hospital, instead, the small team of Anbu sent me waiting outside of the Hokage's office. I waited for perhaps ten minutes before there was a small voice calling me to come in.
I entered the room and saw the familiar image of Hokage-sama sitting behind his office desk, with his Jonin Commander standing beside him. It was an image right from my memory since I haven't been summoned to the Hokage's room since Daichi's death.
"Ah, Maiko-chan, sorry for the wait. But there's something I'd like to discuss with you alone, it's about your choice of future career." Sandaime Hokage-sama said to me gently. I stayed silent, already knowing what he would be talking to me.
"I heard from Jonin Shinbara that you would like to serve in Anbu." He stated, and there was silence. I nodded once and then I looked up, seeing Hokage-sama's hard eyes on me.
"To be honest, I have no qualms with that. Your skill level is exceptional with your age, and if Jonin Shinbara had not convinced me to place you under his apprenticeship, I would have tried to recruit you. However, with your brother's incident, I am not sure it's a good idea for you to join Anbu. Please, state your reason, I need to know if you will be stable enough to work in that environment." the Hokage said calmly; unlike his usual gentle voice, there were no emotions colouring his words.
"I've thought about a lot of things after my brother murdered my family. The reason I want to be Anbu is to find a conclusion, for both me and Sasuke. At this moment, I feel like that's the drive in my life, the motivation that keeps me from dropping to the ground. I want to hunt him down, and that's basically my reason in life right now. I've been running away from what I should be doing for long enough. Last time, Itachi took my place in Anbu so I could be free. This time, let me take my brother's place in revenge." There were a few truths and a few lies in that speech, but mostly they were truth. I didn't tell him my own uncertainty towards how to deal with my brother. I didn't tell him that I wanted to poke around Anbu for answers that may or may not be there, that's something I'd like to keep to myself.
The Hokage stayed silent for a moment before he spoke up: "Very well. I will issue your transfer into Anbu, However, I do expect you to know that the environment in Anbu is harsh and dark. So if there is any sign that you are not suitable, I will pull you out of there and place you back into the normal shinobi force or even force you to retire. Do you understand the risk you are taking?"
"Yes." I answered clearly.
"I see that your hospital report say that you are well recovered for missions, and you have already asked for a psych evaluation from Inoichi-san. It's stated that both your mental and physical trauma are well managed and there seem to be no long-lasting effects." It's quite easy to hide the potential effect of an emotional break down when you know how. I was sure the Hokage knew that, but he didn't argue with the report.
"Take today off, I would like to place you into Anbu training as soon as possible if that's okay. I really don't like to drag out the transfer order to Anbu since they are supposed to be as secretive as possible. You will be starting your training tomorrow, take the rest of the day to take care of things. I trust you know what to say and what not to say." Hokage-sama stated as he drafted something down on the table and handed it to his Jonin Commander.
"Yes. Thank you Hokage-sama" I answered again.
"Don't thank me yet, at least not until you know what Anbu is really like."
Trust me, I know what I'm getting into, more than you think.
(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ fuwa~fuwa~desu~~~
I stood by Sasuke's bed, watching him sleep quietly. It's already been ten days, yet he still hadn't woke up. I should be getting worried, really worried, but I had a feeling that he will wake soon, but I probably won't be able to be by his side when that happens.
"So are you leaving soon?" I heard Shun entering the room and stand beside me.
"You are not going to ask where?" I responded with a question.
"You are forgetting my skills, I know things, well, most things." He teased.
"Right, even things you shouldn't be knowing. I'm leaving tomorrow morning." I said, there was an awkward silence before I continued, "When Sasuke wakes up and is ready to be discharged, would you take him to my room in the apartment? I might not have time to do that."
"I'm hurt you have to ask. Of course, I'll take him back to your room. What about you? Where are you going to stay now?" He faked a hurt expression as he asked.
"I have places I can crash, I'm not that picky. I'll come back when I can, but Sasuke is going to be… difficult. I know you don't like difficult stuff, like emotional baggage and children. But please, if you can, help him a little so he doesn't do something stupid when I'm not there." I said quietly as I gently stroke Sasuke's hair. His hair was so unruly, so unlike Itachi's or mine.
"Noted. I can still expect your part of the rent, right? Cause I'm not nice enough to pay for a kid when his sister is clearly around somewhere."
"You and your money. To be fair, the whole Uchiha estate and inheritance is Sasuke's now, so I really doubt you have to worry about money." I laughed a bit. This was a hard time, for both Sasuke and me, and being the horrible sister I was, I chose to leave him in order to do something I desired. This sounded familiar, right, I was doing exactly what Itachi did three years back. So much for having a valid reason, now I felt like a hypocrite.
"People don't survive on kindness you know. I didn't survive this long using the orphan kid card. Anyway, I'll take care of your little brother. But please, come back often; I'm not a qualified psychiatrist yet, but even I know he doesn't need a random person giving him a place to stay, he needs his sister." Shun said as he left the room, leaving me and Sasuke alone.
After I stared at my brother's unresponsive sleeping form for a while, I went back to the apartment. There were a few things I needed to get ready for.
Despite living in here for almost three years, I really only had a few things in my room. The room was mostly empty; there were maybe three photos on the wall of me, Akira-shishou, Shun, Sasuke, Itachi, and Shisui. The only pieces of furniture in the room were my bed, a table, and a chair.
The first thing I did was to take any photo with Itachi in it off of the wall, which wasn't much anyway. Sasuke would be living here once he was discharged, and any sign of the traitor he hated so much would have to go away. Next, I went to open the drawers under the table, pulling out the weapon pouch, my headband and some spare changes of clothes. Along with the necklace bag that I really didn't want to see, I threw them all into a backpack and put it down on my bed, besides my two swords.
"Please don't hover by the window, Kakashi-sensei, it's really weird when you do that." I said with a sigh, then like a puff of wind, the silver-haired Anbu appeared. It's kind of disappointing when you know that the traps you set up don't do shit against stronger shinobis, but that was not the point right now.
"Going somewhere?" He asked nonchalantly, still holding his 18+ romantic novel open.
"Not far, just going to find my answer, like you told me to." I answered and proceeded to sit on the chair.
"I never told you anything. But I take it you don't need my unreliable instructions on ninjutsu anymore. Shame, your Chidori training was going so well."
"Sure you didn't. But probably not, you never know, I might be able to finish your Chidori on my own. I got a streak going with the punching a hole in stones." I was a bit disappointed that I won't be able to finish learning the Chidori. Considering I'd only started that a few months ago, and Kakashi only allowed me to practice it when he was there, which was like thirty minutes per week, I'd take being able to pierce a small hole in the stone a success.
"Don't go trying that stuff yourself and burn your arm off like the last time." He warned me, but with the mask and the book, I wasn't sure if he was serious or not.
"For the last time, that was not intentional, I never planned on trying your Chidori anyway, but circumstances dictated that I do something before I get turned into a human puppet." Of course, Kakashi was gone before I finished my rant.
When I got sent to the underground training facility for Anbu recruits next morning, I found myself stood in a line of other recruits, some looked like teenagers, some looked older. It was hard to tell when all of us were dressed in the same black training gears and wearing the same blank training masks.
The trainer was dressed in the usual Anbu gears with a black undershirt, gray jacket vest, and a turtle mask. He shouted to us loudly while pacing in front of us: "From now on, you will be conditioned first in general physical requirements before you will be assigned into teams which will further mentor you in different areas of your specialties. This training will last for a month, anyone not fit will be cut off. Remember that you chose this, recruits, you chose to be in in the Special Assassination and Tactical Squad. Your loyalty will always be directed to the Current Hokage of Konohagakure, never anyone else."
I am back, back to my designed destiny, it's like a revolving planet, no matter how far I tried to run, I was still pulled back by the gravity. After twelve years of a second chance, I am back here again, as a recruit trained for dark operations that are too much for the public eyes.
Except for this time, I am aiming for something. Let me see what changed you, let me see your experience. Keep on running Itachi, one day, I will hunt you down, because I'm just vindictive like that.
When I do - and it's not an 'if', because I will - you better have a damn good answer for me.
A/N: so we can see that Maiko is giving Itachi the benefit of doubt, because she couldn't make sense of what see was seeing. She probably came in at the worst moment during the massacre, where everyone is sending her mixed message, and yes, I supposed the theme of this is confusion, she is very indecisive of her actions, the typical 'I am going to take a step in some direction and maybe I'll end up somewhere close.' simply because she doesn't have any better solution.
The update schedule will now go back to every Saturday unless I have another super lazy week like the last one. So stay tuned for Chapter 15, the first chapter of Arc 2 - Anbu (see where I am going with the title, it's really hard to find things that start with A that fits with the theme)