Me: hey people. I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE SLOW UPDATE I MEAN SERIOUSLY PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

Lena: heh, and on with the story!

Naruto: finally you know I mean, did you see how fat Choji got

Choji: ...who called me fat...

Sai: it was Naruto

Naruto: -gulp-

Choji: NARUTO!

Naruto: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sasuke: idiot

Naruto: -magically comes back- WHAT YOU CALL ME SASUKE?

Sasuke: an idiot

Naruto: SHUT UP BASTARD!

Sasuke: IDIOT!

Naruto: BASTARD!

Sasuke: IDIOT!

Sakura: here they go again, -sigh- let's just start this already

Naruto was just walking down the street like any bored teenager is. He sighed. 'I have to get a date for the stupid dance...who can I get? I wonder if Sakura would go with me,' Naruto thought.

"YEAH RIGHT!" the Inner Sakura yelled in Naruto's head.

" What?" Naruto said as he heard a voice yell in his head. "Who's that?"

" It doesn't matter Naruto but there is no way Sakura would go with you to the dance anyway," Inner Sakura said.

" How do you know?"

" I know Naruto. I know a lot of things"

" Oh really? Can you tell me where Sakura is now?" Naruto asked.

Inner Sakura sighed. "Give it up but if you want to know, she's...getting asked by someone to the dance now," Inner Sakura said. "Oh my god, later Naruto, I gotta go find her" and with that the Inner Sakura disappeared.

" WAIT! WHERE IS SHE THOUGH?" Naruto yelled but he got no reply. " I have to find Sakura and ask her out before anyone else does" Saying that, Naruto started running down the street to find Sakura.

Sakura was just walking down the street and talking to her inner self.

'I wonder who to ask out to the dance,' Sakura thought. ' Maybe Sasuke will go with me'

' Oh yeah, we both wish,' Inner Sakura said.

' Hey, maybe someone will ask us'

' Like who? I mean, there's only,' Inner Sakura started when some guy came up and she just melted away...and then slipped out Sakura's ear! (Okay that didn't happen people)

" Hello Haruno Sakura," a voice said. Sakura looked up to see the Akatsuki leader who for some reason, even in the bright sunlight still had his face shaded. Wait, it's the hat, never mind people.

" Um...hi?" Sakura said, backing away a step.

" So...who are you going to the dance with?" Sir Leader asked. (Yes I call him Sir Leader, GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? HUH?) " Still free?"

" Um...uh...I gotta go now, bye," Sakura said, turned around and ran away as fast as she could.

" Hmmm, I wonder what she has to do," Sir Leader said then walked away and back to the secret Akatsuki base in Konoha since they were forced to since it's all in the script for this...thingy.

" Where were you leader?" Deidara asked while playing cards with the rest of the people.

" Nowhere really, hey, you playing Chinese Poker?"

" Yeah"

" I wanna play"

" Okay" and they reshuffled the cards and dealt them out.

" So anyone know who to ask out?" Kisame asked.

" Is there really anyone to ask out?" Sasori asked.

" There's always the one that killed you Sasori," Deidara said and placed down a house of sevens. Sasori didn't answer and placed down a house of aces.

" No answer Sasori?" Kisame said with a sneer (I don't even know who to use that word so whatever). Sasori glared at him.

" Leave him alone Kisame. You wish you could get her but she'd probably run away if you were one mile away from her," Itachi said and put down a royal flush while everyone laughed..

" Pass," Deidara said and Itachi went again. " I know right Kisame, Mr. Fish Face"

" Everyone else but you probably has a better chance," Hidan (new guy from the manga who is like a Deidara wanna be and I don't know but I had a reason before but now I forgot dammit) said.

" SHUT UP Hidan"

" Wait...I have a better chance than Kisame?" Zetsu asked. Everyone stared and then said,

"Whoa"

" ...THAT'S NOT FAIR! HOW DOES FLY TRAP HAVE A BETTER CHANCE THAN ME?" Kisame yelled.

" Because Zetsu is way better than you," Deidara said.

" I win," Sasori said as he placed down his last card and sat back.

" ...WHAT? YOU CHEATED!" Kisame yelled.

" Kisame, Kisame, Kisame," Sasori said shaking his head. " Now come on and finish the game so I can win some money"

" We're playing a dollar a card right?" Itachi asked as he eyed the many cards Kisame had.

" Yeah," Sir Leader said.

" Hurry up and pay Kisame so we can play again," Kakuzu said (other new guy who got problems but so does Hidan...he's too religious...but whatever and Kakuzu is weird and ugly...or was that Hidan? Okay let's just say both).

...10 minutes later...

" Okay gimme...4 dollars Kisame," Sasori said.

" That's not fair! You guys gang up on me this time," Kisame said.

" That's what happens when you call Zetsu a fly trap," Deidara said.

" Yeah and your fish breath got to me," Kakuzu said.

" You people are so mean," Kisame said and left into his room.

" Oh good, he's gone," Zetsu said.

" So that leaves the seven of us," Deidara said. " Playing double deck is so much fun,"

Sakura finally stopped running near a park and sat down on a bench after buying some ice cream. The Akatsuki guy had really crept her out by asking her to the dance. It was unexpected and how would you feel if Sir Leader asked you out? I would actually be like all going crazy in a good way but anyways.

' He didn't actually ask you ya know," Inner Sakura said.

' So? He was getting to it and I know you heard him,' Sakura said.

' ACCEPT IT THEN! I mean...just imagine Sasuke's face...'

' Yeah, he'll be mad at me since I went with an Akatsuki member'

' Heh, forget about the stupid chicken head. HE'S FRICKEN GAY YOU KNOW! YOU SHOULD GIVE UP ALREADY I MEAN, HE'LL PROBABLY END UP DOING IT WITH OROCHIMARU OR...NARUTO!'

' EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW'

' It's true'

" JUST SHUT UP!" Sakura yelled.

" Telling me to shut up and I haven't even said anything yet?" someone asked. Sakura looked up to see um...uh...wait, lemme think.

Enie menie minie mo,

catch a ninja by their toe.

If they holler don't let'em go,

enie menie, minie mo. (Keep reading until the end to get full version)

AND IT'S...SASORI!

" ...SASORI? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Sakura yelled and almost fell off the bench. Sasori just raised a brow. " I mean, I wasn't telling you to shut up, I was...thinking out loud"

" Yeah...now...mind if u sit? Okay you don't care I'm sitting and don't go running away now," Sasori said as he sat down and Sakura was edging away slowly.

" Damn. So...what are you doing here? And what do you want? Can you just go back to being dead? I mean that'd be nice for all of us and um...that'd probably make Chiyo feel better since after all she dead to kill you, you come back alive again so she'd be all um...uh..." Sakura said.

" You talk to much. It's no wonder that Itachi's brother thinks your annoying," Sasori said and Sakura just stared at him shocked. And I just happened to take advantage of the shockness and took Sakura's ice cream since it was obviously going to go to waste later. But Sasori had to be mean and steal it from me to eat himself that stupid butt who's so hot! Yes now just ignore me and on with the story.

" ...DON'T' BE CALLING ME ANNOYING! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S ANNOYING SINCE YOU AKATSUKI PEOPLE POP OUT OF NOWHERE I MEAN SERIUOSLY! THAT LEADER GUY JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND SCARED ME EARLIER AND NOW YOU GO AND DO IT? WHAT'S NEXT? DEIDARA AND ITACHI COMES OUT?" Sakura

said. "AND GIMME BACK MY ICE CREAM!"

And right after Sakura snatched back her ice cream from Sasori who was in the middle of licking it, amazingly enough, Itachi and Deidara appeared out of nowhere right next to Sakura on the bench. So the order from the right is Sasori, Sakura, Deidara and Itachi.

" Hey," Sasori said. Itachi and Deidara both said hey back while Sakura...

" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING HERE?" She screamed.

" Wow...she's also loud," Itachi said. " I guess Sasuke forgot to mention that"

" Heh, your brother probably forgot to mention a lot of stuff," Deidara said.

" ...Can I like...just leave now?" Sakura said nervously since she was between two Akatsuki members, one of which she killed and the other was the partner of the one she killed, and sitting on a bench with 3 Akatsuki members, the one she wasn't in between the one that killed the entire Uchiha clan (which is totally awesome to me since how often do you find someone who killed their entire family except a stupid little brother that's a stupid ass bastard for going Orochimaru know that the t gay Michael Jackson twin wants his body).

" Can you?" Itachi asked. " Now this is just a note from me to you stupid readers and yes I said stupid readers. I said can you for a reason to Sakura and not would you, will you, oh sure, or could you. That's because you can't just leave since if you just walk away from three Akatsuki members, there's a chance they might attack you and kill you"

" Yes, yes we know that's what happened to the last director and why I was hired," Yukita said.

" Now let's continue on please"

" Um...uh..." Sakura tried to make herself as small as possible.

Now in the far away distance, you see Ino, Tenten and Hinata. They were shopping...once again...and they just came out of TOTOS that also had a story out by the park and in the mall.

" I can never get enough of a mango icy...and this time they also have tapioca in it too, love those," Tenten said.

" Yeah...but I p-prefer tapioca with the bubble tea," Hinata said.

" Whatever and...OH...MY...GOD!" Ino said and dropped her drink on the floor...along with her jaw.

" What's wrong Ino?" Hinata asked. Ino was looking behind Tenten and Hinata toward the park. Tenten turned around and saw it.

" OH MY GOD! IS THAT SAKURA?" Tenten yelled and also dropped her drink, which I stole again! Hinata was confused so she turned around also and saw Naruto right in front of her.

" HEY HINATA!" Naruto said and Hinata fainted.

" NARUTO YOU IDIOT!" Tenten said.

" YOU STOPPED HINATA FROM SEEING IT!" Ino said.

" Seeing what?"Naruto asked and turned around. " ...WHAT THE F-"

" What you yelling for idiot?" Sasuke asked, cutting Naruto off and then turned around. " ...Is that ITACHI WITH SAKURA? ALONG WITH A LOT OF OTHER AKATSUKI MEMBERS?"

" SITTING ON THAT BENCH?" Naruto asked.

" WHILE TALKING?" Ino asked.

" AND PASSING AROUND SAKURA'S STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM?"Tenten asked and everyone looked at her. " What? They are, look, now Deidara has it" and they all looked back.

" AND SAKURA'S LOOKING REALLY NERVOUS?" Naruto continued.

" AND SASORI'S ASKING HER A QUESTION!" Ino said.

" AND ITACHI'S SAYING SOMETHING!" Sasuke said.

" AND WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE BE SMARTER AND GET CLOSE TO SPY ON THEM?" Yukita asked. The people looked at each other.

" Good idea," they all said, laughing nervously. " So um...LET'S GO!" So the...one...three...five of them snuck over there like..well, ninjas, Hinata being carried by Naruto since she fainted and because no one else wanted to carry her sadly but whatever since I have a story to continue right now. And they were listening in on the conversation...secretly.

" So...why did we somehow poof here anyway?" Itachi asked.

" Because we were bored and we heard out names and we have to wait for Kisame to get our money and Sasori's here and it's fun to make Sasori's killer nervous with the fact that she's at the park, sitting on a bench sharing a cone of strawberry ice cream that's going pretty fast with three Akatsuki members," Deidara said pretty fast but enough that you can understand...unless of course you're slow.

" Right..." Itachi said and then thought, and how did I just understand Deidara's fast talking?

" Yeah," Sakura said and edged away from Deidara, leaning over Sasori.

" Deidara, you're scaring her and she's gonna fall over if she keeps moving the upper part of her body away from you and towards me," Sasori said and pushed Sakura back up.

" ...mah bad," Deidara said and smiled. And Sakura started to move away again. Sasori sighed.

" Oh my god, do you think Sakura would like Sasori?" Ino asked Tenten.

" Shut up right now, listening here Ino," Tenten said, not taking her eyes off of the group in front of them (they're in a bush for your info across from the group).

" Okay you know what?" Itachi said after Sakura moved away from Deidara for the 20th time. He got up. " We switching seats" So now the order is...from the right again, Deidara, Itachi, Sakura and Sasori.

" You know, we could have just switched Itachi and you Deidara," Sasori said.

" I know, but I wanted to be on the end," Deidara said.

" You were gonna be"

" This end"

" ...so picky"

" So? Problem Sasori?"

" Yes'

" Well deal with it"

" Fine, be like that"

" I will"

" Go ahead"

" I am"

" Sure you are"

" OKAY SHUT UP ALREADY!" Itachi yelled since they yelling and he was in the middle of all this. Sakura just stared at the two of them.

Why did I have to be here? Sakura thought.

Because you are and if you think about it, it's pretty good. You're sitting with a bunch of hot guys from Akatsuki, Inner Sakura said I mean thought.

Yeah, AKATSUKI!

So? What's wrong with Akatsuki?

Did you lose my mind? IT'S AKATSUKI!

DID YOU LOSE YOUR MIND? THEY'RE HOT AND YOU KNOW IT!

SHUT UP

IT'S SASUKE'S BROTHER!

SO?

HE'S HOTTER THAN SASUKE AND YOU KNOW IT AND I KNOW YOU LIKE SASORI

I SO DO NOT! WHY WOULD I LIKE HIM?

BECAUSE HE'S HOT

OH MY GOD, SHUT UP ALREADY! GO AWAY!

NO WAY! IT'S FUN HERE

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?

YOU'RE LIFE IS MORE INTERESTING THEN INNER SELVES LIFE! I MEAN SURE THERE'S THE ANNUAL PARTY BUT HELLO! AKATSUKI!

GET A LIFE IN YOUR WORLD AND LEAVE ME ALONE DAMMIT!

OH FINE, BE LIKE THAT! I WON'T BE THERE THE NEXT TIME YOU NEED ME

I WON'T NEED YOU

THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!

Sakura sighed and was glad that the Inner Sakura was gone.

" Why are you people here? Why can't you just...poof away?" Sakura asked, nervously. The three guys (Inner Sakura: HOT GUYS!) Very hot guys looked at her.

" Because we're bored," Deidara said.

" So when you gonna go?" Sakura asked.

" Heh, dunno. It's fun here"

" Let's say...when Kisame gets our money," Sasori said.

" That's going to take a while," Sasori said. " I mean, he doesn't have a penny left really...I wonder where he's gonna get the money"

With Kisame-

" DAMMIT! STUPID CASH REGISTER WON'T OPEN! GRRR! OH SHIT! THE COPS ARE HERE!" Kisame yelled and grabbed the cash register and poofed away.

" Who knows, as long as he gets it," Itachi said.

" So...you'll be here for a long time?" Sakura said, hoping that that wouldn't' be true.

" YUP!" Deidara said. " Now...where do you live?" Sakura stared at her and started to move away again.

" Yeah where do you live?" Sasori asked.

" Why?" Sakura asked, giving looks at the two of them.

" Don't worry, we won't like just come to your house in the middle of the night and rape you or something," Deidara said.

" Uh..."

" And it's not like we're going to trash it," Sasori said.

" Wait...hey Sasori, do we still have condoms back at the base?" Deidara asked. Sakura stared.

" Yeah a whole cargo box full since Kisame found it in the trash and decided to bring it home"

" Hmmm, we're used half of it as water balloons," Itachi said. " So there's about...I don't' know, a hundred or two left?"

" Okay, I gotta go get some just in case, be right back," Deidara said and poofed away.

OH MY FUCKIN' GOD! Sakura thought in alarm.

" WHAT THE FUCK? SAKURA I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU LUCKY BITCH!" Ino yelled but got muffled by everyone.

" BE QUIET INO, THEY'LL HEAR US!"

" What do you think they're going to do?" Naruto asked.

" You idiot Naruto. Think!" Sasuke said.

" DON'T CALL ME AN IDIOT YOU BASTARD!"

" IDIOT!"

" BASTARD"

" IDIOT!"

" BASTARD!"

" SHUT UP YOU IDIOTS/ BASTARDS! YOU'LL GIVE US AWAY!" The girls said, smacking them in the head.

" So what now?" Naruto asked.

" Well...we keep a watch on Sakura," Ino said.

" But what if we happen to see them...um...you know"

" Ew, I don't wanna think about it Naruto," Tenten said.

" Then that's where you go in and attack the Akatsuki members," Ino said.

" Why Naruto?" Sasuke asked.

" Because he's the stupidest and the only one that wouldn't matter really"

" True...I will kill Itachi if he-"

" If he what?" Naruto asked. " Oooooooooo, you like Sakura! SASUKE LIKES SAKURA!"

" SHUT UP!" Everyone said and smacked him in the head.

" Ow"

" You deserved that," Ino said.

" Shouldn't we tell the Hokage about this?" Tenten asked.

" We should...later," Sasuke said.

" Oh look, blondie came back," Tenten said as Deidara appeared again with a "poof".

" Blondie?" Ino asked.

" What? He's blond!"

" Okay..."

" Okay I'm back," Deidara said.

" What do you intend to do exactly?" Sakura asked.

" Oh nothing much, just hang out here," Sasori said.

" Okay we needed a place to stay and since we're most familiar with you and you're the closest, we're staying at your place," Itachi said.

" WHAT! AND HOW ARE YOU MOST FAMILIAR WITH ME?" Sakura exclaimed.

" Because...you killed Sasori, we can learn a lot from that"

" Oh...dammit, I wished I didn't kill him now," Sakura said and put her hands on her face.

" Okay yeah we know you like him now can we go? The sun's getting hot and I wanna drop off my stuff there," Deidara said.

" Stuff?" Sakura asked and saw that they had their own bags. "Oh my god...someone save me"

Me: and that concludes that chapter

Lena: yup...and by the way, we only did type this...randomly

Me: the idea just came out of nowhere, not like I really had a plot

Lena: yeah so review please, you know I love you!

Everyone: ...-cricket chirp-

Lena: okay, review or else I'll kill you

Everyone: -sweat drop-

Lena: fine...JUST REVIEW DAMMIT!

Me: ignore her! Oh and here's the full version

Enie menie minie mo,

catch a ninja by their toe.

If they holler don't let'em go,

enie menie, minie mo.

--

My sensei says to pick this one

Cause the villages of ninjas are

Sand, Stone, Mist, Waterfall, Grass, Leaf, Sound, Cloud, Snow and a lot of others that I can't remember right now so whatever!

Me: now I actually have a lot of different versions of this, all telling a different story but don't' let me occupy all your time that you can use for doing other stuff and reviewing

Lena: yup