A/N: Hey there again! Thanks for coming back here!

We're already reaching the middle of this story, and publishing it is being almost as draining as having written it, because although it is not my story, it has a lot of me. Probably more than anything I've ever written and sometimes I feel it a bit overwhelming... But well, here we are fulfilling the promise that I have made to myself to publish it in any way.. I hope whoever is reading it is enjoying it.

This chapter has a special TW for anxiety.

As if this were a movie she didn't decide to watch, an avalanche of memories converted into images are reproduced from her unconscious during a dream that seemed calm until that moment.

Donna is completely asleep. Harvey is the one who notices, who several hours later remains in the same position in which they fell asleep. Her frantic movements, her restless breathing, and the sweating that her skin gives off awaken him immediately.

Harvey spins her, so she lies on her back, and after running the hair from her face and putting it behind her ear, he approaches to whisper. "Hey… Donna." He murmurs and kisses her cheek, just in front of her ear. "You're having a nightmare." He adds, even speaking softly and pausing, his hand gently scratching her arm, seeking to bring her back to reality. "Donna... Hey… It's me." He insists, but she seems not to react. "Donna… Wake up, you're just dreaming." He continues whispering but seems not to have the desired effect, so try with a slightly firmer tone of voice. "Donna!" and although his voice sounds louder, his hands still treat her gently. Donna opens her eyes, completely confused, and finds his eyes full of concern. "Hey…" he whispers and gives her a sweet kiss on her forehead. "You were having a nightmare?"

"I think so..." she responds, with a lump in her throat. And unable to say more, she curls up against him, waiting for him to hug her, which is exactly what he does. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up."

He shakes his head. "It's okay." He responds, lovingly cradling her against his body.

Donna feels confused and her body too stressed, again feeling her muscles tense and her soul trembling. "Sorry." She repeats, but she's not sure if she's apologizing to Harvey or to herself.

"Hey... Hey... It's okay." He repeats and rubs her back in circles, right in the middle of her shoulder blades.

And while Donna loves the feeling of being between his arms, she needs to get away and sit. She feels too overwhelmed. Her hands on her legs seem to tremble, but she doesn't realize whether they're really shaking or whether it's an illusion that her brain is generating.

Harvey sits next to her and puts her hair behind her shoulders so that it gives her a little more air and she thanks him silently. "Do you want some water?" he offers her and she nods. "Okay, I'll bring you some." Harvey stands up quickly and, after kissing her on her crown, heads to the kitchen, looking for a glass of water.

Donna drinks very small and short sips. She feels that if she swallows more, she will drown completely. When the glass empties, Harvey places his hand on hers and carefully removes the glass from her hands. He offers her more, but she denies it. He nods in response and leaves the glass on one of the night tables.

"I'm sorry. I guess saying all this aloud has affected me more than I thought." She says with her voice choked, drying her own tears. It seems that she can finally cry, so much that she hadn't even realized she was doing it.

"You don't have to apologize." He tells her sweetly, sitting in front of her on the edge of the bed, his feet on the floor.

"This wasn't what you expected of me. Right?"

Harvey smiles at her and covers her hand with his, caressing her skin with his thumb. "I was what you expected when we met?" she smiles and denies it with her head. "Well, you were never what I expected either, and I always liked it." Donna cannot help but smile, genuinely, even between tears, and kneels on the mattress to hug him, her arms encircling his neck. Harvey surrounds her waist and although none feels comfortable, several minutes pass without losing each other. She needs to feel safe, and this is how she feels in his arms. "Would you like to tell me what you were dreaming?"

"Hmm…" she mumbles and separates from him. "I don't remember the dream very well, but come here." She indicates to him, touching the part of the mattress where he was sleeping. Harvey nods and walks there, gets back into bed and they drop against the pillows, half seated, half lying down. "The dream was very rare, it was too many things at once, memories all… I think. Many that I told you, others that I didn't, but of the same moments. I don't know, too chaotic. I don't know if there is a way to tell it. I'm still remembering it."

"Okay... It's okay if you don't tell me too."

She exhales and nods. "There is something that my mind had forgotten. I guess I repressed it." Donna pauses, taking a breath of air, trying to get it to every cell of her body and then letting her body completely deflate, turning her body toward him a little and looking for his hand with hers. "I remembered that in the whole stage where my parents were separated, and before that, a while later too... They asked me for advice. And I was a child, Harvey." She sobs and Harvey squeezes her knee, trying to give her some courage, staring at her all the time. "But now I have clearly in my mind how they used to sit at the edge of my bed, and started talking, waiting for my wonderful advice. I guess I was already good with the emotions of others since I was a child." She murmurs and bursts into tears. "It was a damn girl, Harvey! I didn't deserve to be treated as an adult. I didn't need to be treated like an adult! I was just a little girl who could never cry because her parents had separated!" although Donna wants to shout it, the only thing she can express is a voice thread, almost imperceptible, amid all those tears. Harvey just wraps her up against him. One of his hands tangled in her hair, the other traveling up and down on her back, giving her a safe place to cry about: He. "I didn't deserve it," she repeats, still drowned in her tears and memories.

"Of course, you didn't deserve it, Donna." He whispers and kisses her hair.

Besides the piano and the theater... books had been a great refuge throughout her life, and all memories always begin the same way: she is reading in her bed, or rather, trying to evade her feelings and thoughts with a book, when her mother or father sits at the edge of the bed and just waits for her to raise her eyes and set out to listen to them.

"You're so good at listening."

"You always know what to say."

"You should be a psychologist."

"Oh, you're wonderful in this of reading people, Donna."

"You always have the right word."

"You always know how to solve a situation."

"I have such a smart daughter."

And other lots of praise to the redhead girl who had to hear the reasons for the split of her parents. Or how useless her father was in business. Or the little support her mother gave him. Even her father had complained about how uncaring her mother was with him in intimacy. Her mother had also complained that her father had long stopped seeing her as a woman. She also heard about the worst fights they ever had in their bedroom, or anywhere in the house (many of which she had heard from her room when they were happening). Even in the car. Or in public places. Donna knew more about the separation from her parents than any other child in her situation. And that wasn't right. And she knew it, or actually, she knew it when she grew up. At that time, when her parents were sitting in front of her at the edge of her bed, spitting all their shit, she always left the book to one side and hugged her legs bent against her chest. She was looking in that simple action for a little refuge and all she used to do was repeat to herself in her mind that she shouldn't cry, that Donna Paulsen isn't vulnerable… And at the same time, she was trying to save what was left between her parents. It was too much burden for a girl and just now she remembers it. Just now, the memory returns to her mind and everything makes more and more sense.

"Hey… breathe," Harvey whispers calmly, but with a little worry in his voice, noticing that she was drowning again. But Donna doesn't respond. She just clings harder to him, her fists clinging to his t-shirt and her body trembling. "Hey… I won't leave you alone, okay? I promise you." He says and kisses her head as he caresses her back. "Just… can you sit down? You're hyperventilating, Donna. Let me help you." She nods but still doesn't move, so Harvey loosens her grip on his t-shirt and her arms around him and then helps her sit and he sits in front of her. Donna hasn't realized it until that time, but her entire body is shaking. And this time it's not just the feeling that her body is shaking inside, she can see her hands and arms trembling, her legs and feet as well. Her breathing is too hectic, her heart seems to want to get out of her chest and she's sweating as if she's just running a marathon. She struggles to focus her gaze on anything, even on Harvey, in front of her, with no success, and she feels she is drowning.

Suddenly, she feels Harvey wrapping her hands with his own and that makes her startled.

"Hey… don't be scared, please, it's me." He says softly, moving his thumbs on her wrists. Donna nods and tries to take a deep breath of air, but she doesn't make it. She drowns in the middle. "Can you listen to me?" he continues to whisper. Donna nods, still shaking and unable to focus her eyes on his. "Well, that's good." He smiles shyly at her and carefully moves his right hand attached to Donna's left hand and poses them on the left side of his chest, her hand between his chest and his hand. "Can you try to follow my breath?" he proposes, having quickly analyzed the possibilities of how to help her, and concluded that this is the best way to do it. He isn't the one to diagnose it, but he can recognize those symptoms too well and the fact that she's going through that just closes his throat, but it isn't time to focus on his emotions. Now the important thing is to help her.

Donna nods at his question, although she isn't sure if she's going to be able to do so. Still, she recognizes a minimal calm when she feels his heartbeat under the palm of her hand. Harvey is breathing as slowly and consciously as he can, concentrating on his chest to inflate and deflate with each breath, hoping Donna can follow him… But she simply doesn't succeed. Her hand trembles too much and she finds it difficult to identify what is happening under her palm for too many seconds in a row, so Harvey decides to change his strategy, and besides keeping his breathing the same way, he starts to count 4 in 4. 4 of inhalation, 4 to hold the air, 4 to exhale and 4 to pause. And although the first few breaths are too disastrous for Donna and she feels that every breath of air will drown her, she trusts him and does her best to follow him. And it takes too long. Too long when Harvey stays constant, showing no signs of exhaustion, repeating the numbers as if they were a melody, keeping his breath calm and his thumb rubbing her skin in circles. And that's what makes Donna feel back on earth, which makes her body slowly stop shaking, which slows her heart rate, stops her skin from sweating, may her gaze focus again on him - who never stopped staring at her - and her breathing gradually returns to normal. Unexpectedly, Donna lets out a cry that she had drowned for too long, and without being able to explain anything more than that and with her eyes dropping infinite tears, she gently tugs him over her - with almost no strength - at her and he quickly interprets what she wants, but he moves behind her, with his legs open to give her room, making her back fall on his chest and then wrapping her with his entire body. Donna turns slightly on him until she rests her cheek on his chest and closes her eyes. "It's better like this. You can breathe better with me underneath and not on top of you." He murmurs and she lets out a little smile, feeling him combing her hair on her back.

"Thank you…" she sobs.

"Hey… you don't have to thank you. I'm here for you, always." He says and hugs her tighter for a few seconds.

"I know… I always knew." She responds and gets up a little to be able to look at him. "You know I'm here for you too, don't you?

He smiles. "I know."

She grins shyly and comes over to give him a brief kiss on her lips. "My mind is chaos right now, so I don't know if I'm ready to say all this out loud right now."

"Okay... it doesn't have to be now."

"I wish I could sleep." She murmurs in frustration.

"Do you want to stay here?"

"Please." She mutters.

"Come here, then…" he murmurs, opening his arms so she can settle into a more pleasant sleeping position. The side of her body rests over the mattress, her chest rests against the side of his body, her head over his chest, and her arm around his abdomen. Harvey wraps her in his arms, one of his hands caressing her shoulder and the other around her waist. "Try to sleep…"

"I hope I don't dream that again." She murmurs, afraid.

"I expect the same." He responds honestly and kisses her forehead. "Are you okay? Are you cold?"

"A little bit."

Harvey moves quickly, without letting go of her, until he reaches the sheet along with a blanket and covers her from behind, letting the blanket also reach his legs. "Better?"

She smiles. "Yes…" she murmurs and spends a few seconds in silence. "I'm not used to being cared for like that, but it feels good," Harvey smirks, a little proud of himself, but doesn't know very well what to answer. "It's okay, you don't need to answer. I just wanted to say it."

Donna hears his smile and that makes her smile too, then moves her head slightly until she finds his heart under her ear and closes her eyes after a long sigh. She feels her body too exhausted, and that feeling exhausted is stronger than the fear that having the same nightmare again, and although it takes her a little more than a few hours ago, she finally falls asleep.

The next morning, Harvey wakes up as soon as the first sound of the alarm rings and turns it off. With extreme care, he leaves the bed, and after giving her a kiss on her head and wrapping her better with blankets; he goes to the kitchen where he makes breakfast for both. Coffee and pancakes that he makes with what he finds in the cupboard and in the refrigerator (which isn't much). After doing so, he realizes that there is nothing in that kitchen to put on the pancakes, so he hopes they're appetizing enough to eat like that. He puts the cups and the plate with the pancakes on a tray and goes to the room, leaves the tray on her bedside table, and sits at the side of the bed, his feet on the floor, next to her, and carefully removes the hair from her face. A smile escapes his lips as he discovers her sleepy face behind her red hair. He leans over her and kisses her forehead. "Hey… morning." He murmurs and separates a little from her, hoping to find some reaction from her, but she just curls up more into herself. "Donna…" he continues to whisper, his hand rubbing her arm. "It's time to wake up, and I made you breakfast."

"No…" she murmurs. "I don't want to."

Harvey sighs. "You know that if I were your boss, I'd let you stay here… but I'm not."

"I like what you're now, anyway."

"Do you?" he asks, smiling.

"Definitely." She smiles, even with her eyes closed.

"So... What would I be now?"

"Hmm…" she opens her eyes. "My boyfriend?" she asks with a silly smile decorating her sleeping face.

Harvey smiles in a way that she's sure she's never seen him smile, and that warms her hurt heart a little. "That sounds great."

"It does, huh?" she responds, stretching out her hand to give him a loving squeeze on his knee.

"And would you accept the breakfast your boyfriend has made for you?"

"What has my boyfriend made?"

"Coffee, as you have taught me how to do it." Donna grins, and he returns the smile. "And I've made pancakes, but just after making them, I found nothing to-"

She giggles and interrupts him. "We can eat them like that."

"That was what I thought… you should just sit down."

"Help me." She stretches her hand, and he grabs her, giving her a little boost to sit in bed. Harvey brings the tray to the middle of them and both drink the first sip of coffee quietly. "I've trained you very well." She grins, and he returns the smile behind his mug. Donna grabs a pancake and bites a piece, chewing it slowly just to make him suffer a little, but she can't act too much. Those pancakes are too good. "You're that good at making pancakes, and in these weeks you've never made it?"

Harvey giggles. "They aren't so good."

"When you taste mine, you'll think these are the best you've ever tasted." Harvey frowns. "Believe me… they disarm, stick in the pan, burn, or break." She shrugs. "I promise I'll buy sauces and things to put on these pancakes next time."

"Whipped cream and strawberries?" he asks with a mischievous smile that makes her smile as well. "So... this means that I just became this couple's pancake maker, doesn't it?"

She smirks. "You have definitely done it."

They grin at each other and eat and drink a little more quietly, but as much as they want to, there is a pink elephant in the room that is impossible to ignore.

"Hey... how do you feel?" he says without making too much of a preamble. He doesn't think it makes sense to do so.

"Exhausted. Really exhausted… but also lighter. I don't know. I was freed by being able to say so. My mind is still a mess, and I keep remembering things and understanding others, but I guess this was a start."

"Of course it was. And we can keep talking about it whenever you want, okay?"

She nods. "I hadn't realized how much I needed a network to fall on until now."

"And I would be that network?"

She smirks. "Of course you are." She squeezes his hand. "And you're also the best pancake maker in town."

"And the best closer in town."

"And the best boyfriend, but not in the city, in the world!"

Neither of them can help but smile like two fools. Harvey runs the tray in the middle of them and pounces on her to start giving her kisses all over her face that make her giggle softly.

"And the worst morning breath in town!" she murmurs when he wants to get closer to her lips.

"Oh, sorry lady, because yours smells like roses!"

The two giggle again and decide that it doesn't matter too much. They need a good morning kiss. Then Harvey wants to get up, but Donna stops him. Just physically separating him makes her want to cry and makes him fall on her.

"I need you nearby, Harvey." She sobs.

"And here you have me." He mumbles close to her ear, rubbing his nose in the side of her neck.

They both know it will be a tough day.

It would be very important for me to know what you think about this. Reviews or comments are always appreciated :)