"I can't like him.."
Quickshadow was practically glaring at the new coat of light gray paint that covered the ceiling of her designated room.
She had been laying on her berth for the past hour, obliging to Boulder's suggestion of 'taking it easy' whilst trying to figure out exactly what she felt towards Heatwave.
"I can't like him."
The phrase had quickly become her new mantra after coming to the conclusion that she was, in fact, developing stronger feelings towards the red leader. But the more she recited it- the harder it was to get him off her mind.
Her processor wouldn't and couldn't stop drifting to the events that occurred earlier that morning, and at this point- she was desperately trying to distract herself from the ongoing flashbacks.
A twinge of slight discomfort forced her optics shut, and her servo began to massage her swollen shoulder pad and fumble with the white fabric that was tied around her arm and neck.
She found it quite uncomfortable and wanted nothing more than to slide it off and hurl it into the nearest trash can but unfortunately, Blades had told her the brace and sling wouldn't come off ''til at least two weeks.
The pain subsided a short while later, and much to her dismay, her processor, resumed the current flashback it was projecting in her mind.
—
Upon waking up, she was met with the all-too-familiar smell of carbon mixed with a hint of polishing oil. The sound of soft snoring filled her audials from the left side of the berth.
Tossing to her side, her optics caught sight of a large, blurry red silhouette beside her.
Still hazy from the recharge and whatever substances Blades had injected into her system, she could faintly make out a few other colors on different areas of the red mass.
She blinked a few times in an attempt to unblur her vision, but when the agent looked back up, she almost flinched as her optics focused on a familiar set of red and gray faceplates.
Quickshadow froze. Her limbs had seemingly gone back into their previous dormant state. She tried lifting her servo, but once again- it didn't budge.
Frustrated, she tried moving her ped but immediately tensed when she felt Heatwave's ped brush against hers as he began to stir in his recharge.
He shifted to his right, forcing her frame to stiffen.
The mech muttered something inaudible before settling down and continuing with his slumber.
Unsure of what to do, Quickshado's blue optics unwillingly scanned the mech's sleeping features, taking note of each tiny dent and scratch that would normally go unnoticed by the naked eye.
Her optics stopped at a small dry patch of Energon that stained his left cheek plate. There weren't any fresh wounds on him, so she could only assume some of her energon had gotten on his frame, and he missed a few splotches when cleaning himself.
Rather than turning away, she continued staring at the blue stain. It wasn't until her servo slowly inched its way toward his features, that she averted her gaze.
She tried to reel her limb back, but her joints wouldn't respond. Her servo seemed to have a mind of its own.
The contact of her digit on his metal sent a shockwave through her frame that set off a few red warning lights in her processor.
Her digit tip gently brushed across the dry energon, rubbing away the blue stain.
She could feel Heatwave scrunching his faceplates underneath her touch as she continued to try to regain control over her digit.
She hadn't meant to linger, but something about his relaxed facial features triggered a deja vu moment that pulled her into a trance and urged her digit to trace over his faceplates.
The stain had completely faded from his metal, and she tried to retract her servo once again; however, her digit instead trailed down to his mouthplates and began gliding across his lower jaw.
Her processor was half asleep, but the half that was vaguely aware of what she was doing urged her to regain her composure and pull her arm back.
To her relief, Heatwave continued recharging without any signs of discomfort.
The alarms in her head kept blaring, but their obnoxious ringing was ignored and simply pushed away.
He stirred a little more, his time leaning his helm closer to her servo as if he was asking her to continue.
Her frame felt like it was melting at his unconscious gesture. She felt something weigh down on her thigh but dismissed it, believing it was just her metal continuing to tense up.
His relaxed expression, steady breathing, and proximity all brought her back to a few months prior when the stubborn, reserved leader had been de-aged to a somewhat timid and lively youngling.
His younger version had leaned into her gentle touch just like he had done just now, finding comfort in the soothing strokes running down his metal.
She felt the urge to repeat the soothing gesture. Why? she didn't know. It just felt right.
Her thin gray digit had traced the entirety of his facial perimeter. It slid down the mech's 'nose bridge' but hesitated at the feeling of the mech's faceplates scrunching up once again just as she had reached the tip of his olfactory sensors.
Her servo finally obliged to her previous commands and left the mech's faceplates just as he turned to lay on his side, faceplates directly facing her.
She lay still and motionless, fully expecting him to open his optic lids and question her, but his steady breathing pattern remained undisturbed.
Quickshadow let herself breathe, but before she could fully calm down, a tingly sensation came over her.
The mech's hot breathsingedher sensitive neck cables- sending ripples of electricity down her spinal strut.
The weird, warm sensation was enough to bring her back to her senses, and she noticed their new proximity.
Their lips were mere inches apart; one small movement and-
She mentally slapped herself.
What was this mech doing to her? Every ounce of self-control left her system at the mere mention of his name, and she hated herself for it.
She felt another ripple of electricity run through her frame when he let out a long sigh.
Finding a string of common sense, she tried to read her inner clock. 11:34 p.m.
The agent formulated a simple escape plan and slowly began to pull out all the tubes and wires that connected her to the various machines around the room.
A movement near her thigh made her freeze once more.
She felt something lightly squeeze her metal, and the weight she had felt on her leg finally registered in her processor.
In all his stirring, Heatwave had placed his servo on her thigh and was now unconsciously shifting it up to her waist.
Energon rose to Quickshadow's cheek plates, tinting them a deep shade of blue.
She tried to keep her center and remain calm, but the warmth emitting from Heatwave's servo sent another rippling sensation throughout her frame, each wave making her cheeks grow bluer and bluer. His hot breath on her neck wasn't helping either.
Scowling at the fluttering sensation that arose in her engine at their proximity, she fought hard to suppress the flurry of emotions that had escaped her mental barrier.
Finally, having regained her composure, she gently pried herself from his grasp, despite his grip tightening a few times around her waist.
The agent finished unplugging herself from the machines and managed to get off the berth.
She looked back at the sleeping mech and let out a shaky sigh before pulling the covers over his frame.
The same urge to run her digit along his peaceful features came over her again, but she turned away and headed out the door.
—
Quickshadow ex-vented for the umpteenth time that day.
Why the frag had she suggested that they share a berth?
She wearily rubbed her agitated temples before deciding enough was enough, and she desperately needed to occupy her processor on something else.
She swung her peds over her berth, wincing at the twinge of pain that came from her side.
Taking great care not to move her damaged arm or torso, she lifted herself off the berth and slightly adjusted the brace that was strapped around her shoulder.
She made up her mind to go on a walk, not that she had many options to choose from.
Blades had forbidden her from any training or heavyweight activities and basically everything she liked to do in her spare time.
Her door slid open, and she was about to step out when a familiar voice called out to her from the ground.
"Hey, Quickshadow!" Frankie smiled up at the femme. Cody gave a small wave from where he stood behind the brown-haired girl.
The femme gave the two teens a small smile before returning their greetings. "Hello, anything I can do for you?"
Cody shook his head. "No, we just thought you might like some company. You've been here for hours."
Quickshadow checked her internal clock.How long had she spent replaying those flashbacks?
It was already 6 in the afternoon. She facepalmed and left her thoughts, focusing her attention on the two humans before her. "I was just about to go for a walk, but I wouldn't mind your company." She moved out of the way to let the two in.
Frankie looked astonished at how large everything was to them.
Quickshadow lightly laughed at her surprised expression and gently picked up the pair. She set them on one end of her berth while she sat on the other.
"How are you feeling?" Frankie wrapped her arms around her knees, getting a good look at all the damage the Scrubber had done to her.
"I feel fine, aside from the fact that I have to wear these annoying braces and sling." She fumbled with said brace once more, irritated that she couldn't find a comfortable tightness for it.
"Yeah. My dad, mom, and Dr. Szetos are really sorry about the malfunctions. It wasn't meant to hurt you this much." She met the femme's gaze, guilt presently in her brown eyes.
Quickshadow shook her helm at the apology. "Apologies are not necessary; malfunctions happen. It was a test run. I don't hold any resentment for the damage inflicted. I knew what I was getting myself into." One of her rare, warm smiles spread on her dermas.
The guilt left the girl's eyes, and she and Cody began conversing about all sorts of topics. She had forgotten all about that morning and her turmoil of feelings and was currently stifling a laugh at a face Cody was making.
"See? I'm hilarious." Cody crossed his arms over his chest, a smug smile on his small face.
Frankie was currently laughing hysterically; it took her a few seconds and many deep breaths to calm down. "Okay, okay! I take it back." She wiped a tear from her eye.
Quickshadow smiled fondly at their bickering; she hadn't laughed that much in a while. The atmosphere was rather enjoyable. Cody and Frankie knew how to entertain and how far to take their jokes- something she liked about them.
Unfortunately, the atmosphere was shattered when the red mech was suddenly mentioned.
"How's Heatwave? He wasn't looking too good when we stopped by to see you last night." Cody asked with a hint of worry in his tone.
Quickshadow felt the fluttering sensation return at the mention of his name and forced herself to maintain her composure.
She felt his servo ghosting over her thigh and up her torso and suppressed the shiver that ran up her slender frame.
"..I'm sure he's fine. His energon levels will go back to normal with adequate rest." She forced herself to answer, fumbling with her brace subconsciously.
Frankie studied the femme's fidgety behavior and decided she would look further into it later.
"We found him sitting on a crate beside you. Cody tried talking him into getting some rest, but he wouldn't budge."
Quickshadow looked down at the girl, quite stunned. Of course, she masked her surprise with a neutral expression. "He was still sitting there when I awoke, and he was being quite stubborn about going to his chambers to rest up." She was grateful her tone hadn't betrayed her, but she glanced down at her fumbling digits and slowly dropped her servo to her lap.
"Boulder said he never left your side. He refused to rest 'til he knew you were stable." Cody's voice was barely above a whisper, but the agent heard him nonetheless.
She felt the fluttering sensation increase drastically. Warm energon threatened to tint her cheeks blue, but she snapped out of her train of thought before it could reach her faceplates.
"..Oh." She barely managed to whisper. Talking to the two teens had seemed like a good distraction, and it had been, for a short while at least. But now, Quickshadow was desperately trying to change the topic to anything other than the 'Incident' and Heatwave.
She checked her internal clock, which now read 6:40 p.m., and realized Chase's regular night patrols with Chief Burns were about to begin.
She took her chance without a second thought and promptly excused herself. "I'm going to join Chase and Chief on their regular night patrol so I can at least be of some use during my stay here."
"Shouldn't you be resting? You shouldn't strain your arm." Quickshadow almost let out a hearty laugh at how much he sounded like Heatwave.
"I've done quite enough of that," she smiled at the boy. "Besides, it's not like Blades left me with many things to do while my arm recovers." She rolled her optics.
"Yeah, I guess not. Just be careful; I don't think Heatwave would want to hear that you've gotten hurt again." Cody nodded.
Quickshadow felt an electric surge run down her frame at the mention of his name once again.
"Suppose not." She nodded at Cody's warning. "I appreciate the company, I'd give you a ride back to the lab, but I'm unable to transform at the moment." The last part was directed at Frankie.
"It's fine; Cody and I were gonna walk there anyways." She smiled. "I'll drop by tomorrow; we can find something to keep you entertained while you finish recovering." The girl smiled and waved from the doorway.
Her door closed, and their footsteps moved further down the hall.
After a minute of silence, she walked over to her nightstand and picked up one of the many books that she kept on it. Most were mysteries or held some type of action story, but the one she held was a random novel she had picked up from the bookshelf in the bunker.
She flipped through the book and stopped right in the middle. Upon peeling back a few more pages, five flowers revealed themselves to her, a couple nearly falling off the page they'd been pressed against.
They were the Blue Delphiniums Heatwave had given her when he had been turned back into a sparkling. Quickshadow had grown quite fond of the tiny bouquet and when they started withering, she searched for ways to preserve them.
Her answer was found in a craft book,The Art of Flower Pressing, the title read. Quickshadow had followed the instructions with extreme precision and hadn't opened the book since she had placed them there.
She had to admit; she'd done an adequate job at pressing them. They looked like the flowers that were on the craft book cover, and their vibrant blue pigment hadn't faded.
She didn't know what to make of her feelings. Quickshadow knew she felt something towards the fire bot, but she wouldn't allow herself to put her walls down. She knew she had to keep her feelings at bay unless she wanted to end up hurt again.
'It's only a crush; he'll get over it in time.'She told herself one night.
When she got back to the base in China, after she had collapsed from exhaustion, he was still the only thing she could think of.
'He's a good mech; he doesn't deserve to deal with all my problems.'She convinced herself. 'I'm too much to handle. I can barely function properly in a team environment; how can I possibly handle being in a relationship?'
'You're too reserved, too closed off. Trust issues.. severe trust issues.'her processor chanted. 'He deserves better.'
'If only he knew how emotionally unstable you truly are. All the charades you play to mask how broken and weak you are.'Her voice was echoing around her.
She fully agreed with her consciousness. Her issues outweighed her skill set, in her opinion, at least.
Sure, she'd become a highly skilled and very capable solo agent but at what cost? Her background and missions left her with an ongoing debate every time she met someone.'Are they trustworthy?How long till they turn their back on me too?'Then there was all the guilt she held onto.'How long 'till I hurt them?'
She promised herself long ago that she'd never give her trust to just anyone with a seemingly kind font. They had to earn that from her and prove their loyalty. And she'd never let anyone get too close. She'd never make that mistake again.
She'd been played one too many times. Taken advantage of, all because she was naive. And she'd hurt so many others when...
Going solo seemed like the best choice of action at the time. No one to chastise her for her work ethic or hold her back, and she was quite proficient in the field. Each mission was done quickly but efficiently, hiccups were very rare, and she always found a way around them without the need for a backup plan. However, she had begun regretting her decision due to how much damage it had done to her. More so mentally than physically.
For years, she dealt with her problems the only way she knew how bottling them up and tossing them into the black abyss of her mind.
She viewed each mission as another brick she could use to build up mental walls to confine her bitter memories and experiences to the darkest corners of her processor. In a way, it was a coping mechanism that, although only helped temporarily, was a great way to rid herself of her tormenting flashbacks quickly.
However, she knew in time her past would catch up to her. No wall stands forever; her mental barriers were bound to crumble at some point.
Then she'd be back at square one.
Being part of a team again never crossed her mind till Optimus contacted her, stating he wanted her to share her expertise with a rescue force on Griffin Rock.
She was reluctant to go considering her history with teams, and opted to keep to herself as much as possible.
Optimus had told her about them on multiple occasions. She heard about their various rescues and progress in their individual abilities. At the time, she was tailing Madeline Pynch throughout Europe, an assignment given to her by the Prime, when the entrepreneur began coming off as a red flag.
The agent couldn't fathom why the Autobot leader would, on multiple occasions, bring the rescue team up in his reports back to her. She had gone through rescue training back on Cybertron but, later on, decided to settle for espionage work instead.
Quickshadow began to suspect Optimus wanted to send her to Griffin Rock for some untold assignment, and she hoped she was wrong. But of course, not even that plea could be granted to her, and a few years later, she was sent to aid them with their training.
Looking back, she saw the Prime's intentions. He knew about her trust issues, not the severity, but he knew about it nonetheless, and he wanted her to learn that not every bot or human had malicious intentions. And he was right, but her fear of being betrayed ran deeper than her wanting to let others in rather than push them out.
She knew Heatwave was different from all the other mechs she dealt with back on Cybertron; he'd proven that to her gradually over the few years she had known him.
On their trip to Cybertron, he had promised he'd always be available to talk to if she ever needed to, and she would've, had it not been for the voice in the back of her mind holding her back.'Why waste his time? He already has a lot on his plate.'
The femme recalled how the lively youngling had compared the flowers' blue hue to her optics. 'Pretty optics.' he had sputtered out innocently. Heatwave had a caring spark, but he wasn't one to express himself through words. His actions did all the speaking for him. Much like her, he kept more to himself but never hesitated to assist others in their time of need.
Heatwave wasn't the issue, and neither were the sentiments she held toward him. She couldn't deny she fancied the mech for his personality and big spark; bottling her feelings up just seemed to make them grow more and more.
She had simply come to the conclusion that he didn't deserve to deal with her plethora of problems; quite frankly, no one did. Besides, it all seemed too good to be true. Life had rarely given her a single ray of sunlight. Why would it start now?
Quickshadow closed the book, trapping the blue flowers in whatever information it held in its pages. Ex-venting yet again, she came to the only solution her drowsy processor could muster up at the moment.Ignore him.
It'd be for the best. His seemingly small crush on her would eventually fade, and by then, it would be too painful to let him go. She hated the fact that she was cowering before these emotions, but what else could she do?
Perhaps if she'd thought about it some more, she would've arrived at a different solution, but her train of thought came to a halt once she realized it was 6:59 p.m. She heard the rumble of the garage doors opening and quickly made her way out her door and onto the lifting platform in the bunker. Both officers were surprised to see her and even more so when she asked if she could tag along on their patrol.
"Are you certain you are well enough to go on patrol?" Chase's headlights illuminated the dark room as he spoke. Chief looked up at her, awaiting her reply.
"Blades and Boulder only forbade me from engaging in training and heavy-weight activities; I assure you I'm in well enough condition to go for a walk."
The old police officer nodded in approval and climbed into the police bot's cabin.
Chase drove off after assigning her to monitor the coastal side of the island.
And so she began walking down the road, occasionally being greeted by a few citizens who were coming home from a long day of work.
The wind felt nice; cumulonimbus clouds began to roll in.
'Cody better hurry home before the downpour starts.'
"Glue or Tape?"
"Tape, less messier."
Frankie set her blue tape dispenser next to the book Cody was currently flipping through.
"Blades and Dani are gonna freak when they see these." the girl giggled, looking over her best friend's shoulder.
"Then they'll get all 'eeee'." Cody did his best to imitate his sister's high-pitched squeal, making Frankie laugh.
—
Earlier that day, at around 6 or 7 in the morning, quiet chatter echoed from one of the training center's corridors.
A poofy-haired brunette giggled at something the blonde boy walking beside her had said. Her laughter echoed down the wide hallways till she was silenced by her friend's finger on his lips.
"Sorry." She smiled sheepishly.
"It's fine." Cody shrugged and cast her a smile before continuing down the hall.
They soon found themselves before the same gray door they had gone through the night before. Frankie balled up her fist and was about to knock when Cody stopped her.
"Quickshadow's probably still recharging." he pointed out. "Let's just quietly go in and get your jacket."
The girl nodded at his plan and took a step back to allow him to open the door. Frankie had left her blue jacket in the room right after she and Cody had talked with Heatwave. Cody told her he would help her retrieve it in the morning.
The boy lifted his hand to a control panel on the wall next to the door, allowing it to read his palm. A green light illuminated the small screen, and the door began to slide open.
"After you." He gave a curt bow as he gestured to the open door, a teasing smile on his face.
Frankie playfully rolled her eyes but walked into the dim room nonetheless. She looked around for her jacket, squinting a few times to allow her eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room.
Cody followed close behind and began searching for her missing garment.
Frankie suddenly froze, immediately catching Cody's attention.
"What's wrong?" He looked in the direction she was facing and quickly understood her sudden change in behavior.
"Oh my gosh!" She whispered. Cody just stared at the med-berth in pure shock.
Heatwave and Quickshadow were recharging in a mess of tangled limbs. Heatwave had his arm wrapped over her waist while her peds were intertwined with his. Quickshadow had acquired most of the blanket, leaving Heatwave with barely anything.
Both teens looked at one another to make sure they weren't seeing things. Frankie couldn't help but let out a few chuckles of laughter, forcing Cody to press his hand over his best friend's mouth in an attempt to stifle her giggles.
He saw a blue lump on the ground to their right and went to grab it.
By the time he had returned to Frankie's side, she was busy snapping pictures of the two tired bots.
It took a while, but Cody managed to drag Frankie out of the room without either of the Cybertronians waking up.
"We are so adding these to the album!" She grinned.
—
"I'm glad you forgot your jacket; otherwise, we would've never captured these for the album." Frankie rolled her eyes at him but nodded nonetheless. "Yeah, I guess my clumsiness pays off sometimes, huh?" Now it was Cody's turn to roll his eyes.
"Whatever you say, Miss. Forgetful."