Hey all! Sorry for such a long wait! I had a huge exam I was prepping for (yes, I spent nearly an entire semester studying) but now that's done with and I have a chance to relax. Hopefully you enjoy this chapter!
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Pyro was happy. Stomach full, sitting in front of a fire, friends on both sides – Pyro felt that he could stay in this moment forever.
"You can't be blamin' me for this." Pyro snuggled deeper into the curtain-blanket Engineer had draped over both of their shoulders. He was tempted to lay his head against the older man's shoulder but resisted, very aware of how uncomfortable it made the Texan. Instead, the mumbling mercenary settled for pulling his knees to his chest, inching a bit closer to the firewood.
"It is very hard not to." With a gloved hand, Pyro searched for his lighter, safely tucked into this coat pocket. He plucked up his finished rib bone from the ground and lit it up, before tossing it into the fire.
"If someone hadn't spooked the herd, we wouldn't all be having child portions." Pyro licked his lips under his mask, tasting the excess reindeer flesh. Unlike the rest of his friends, he felt the two reindeer meal was more than enough, even though they did not have extra for tomorrow.
"It ain't my fault you can't aim under pressure. Should've gave me the gun!"
A set of cracked bones were thrown into the fire, courtesy of a complaining Scout. His coworkers around him shot one another raised eyebrows. Finally, recovering the ridiculous that was Scout, Heavy shook his head.
"Nyet. We would starve tonight." This earned some snickering from around the group, and Scout just frowned, pulling his knees closer to this chest. After two hours of search, he, Sniper, and Heavy had returned with two small reindeer, looking disgruntled and covered in snow. Due to Scout being Scout, somehow they had lost a herd of reindeer who scattered at the first sound, and Sniper barely managed to kill two of the slower, less agile animals. Unfortunately, that cost all but one of the bullets in Spy's revolver. Although Heavy seemed ready to knife anything if necessary, none of the trio wanted to trudge further into the forest with snow pelting down harder as the sky grew dark.
"C'mon men," drawled out Soldier from next to Pyro, half leaning on Demo with reindeer fat around his mouth, "let's not, let's not fight." The American had been prompting peace and throwing out encouragement ever since Medic nonconsensually fed him pain pills – needless to say, it was completely un-Soldier like, and entirely disconcerting.
"Yeah, lads! Sure it wasn't no giant meal, but at least we're all alive," added in Demoman, sharing a grin with Soldier. The two were draped with the fire blanket, and the cyclops excitedly threw his leftover bones into the fire. "How 'bout we play a game! Or sing!"
"Erm, Demo, are you sure you lost your alcohol?" Engineer tried, glancing over at the Scotsman who was humming to himself.
"Yeah, I'm about as sober as any of you lads on a normal day." The demolitions expert then burst out laughing, as if he shared a joke. Then, Demo's face turned deathly serious, and he gave everyone in the group a look.
"We're gonna need ta' get a sacrifice for the beast, you all know, right?"
There was silence for a moment, and Spy slowly removed the cigarette from his mouth.
"I believe our Scottish teammate is far too sober to make sense anymore. Even I had trouble placing that reference and I read the book." Scout squinted, scrunching up his nose.
"Book, what book?"
"Lord of the Frogs," grumbled out Sniper, stuck between the Frenchman and Bostonian, largest drape over their shoulders.
"Flies," corrected Medic, starting to stand up. "Let's form some order to sleep in. I don't vant any of you dummkopfs to die of hypozhermia."
"What?" griped Scout, glancing around as his teammates started to stand up around him.
"Boy, this ain't no camping trip. We all need to share body heat," Engineer explained, kicking up dust to subdue the fire. Scout's eyes widened, and he stood up , finger pointing at the other men in his group.
"No way! I'm not sharin' any blanket with you creeps!" he announced, earning an eye roll from most of his team.
"That's fine," Medic commented nonchalantly, rolling his scarf into a pillow,"You can sleep alone. In zhat corner over there. And freeze."
:::
"Say boyos…"
"Yes, my racially diverse comrade?"
"I just wanna say, I love all ye'."
"Me too, soldier, me too."
"For Christ's sake!" exploded Sniper, sitting up from his spot between Demoman and Engineer, sending a glare to the Scotsman and Soldier in the dark. "Would you two just stop. Some of us are trying to sleep."
"I agree with the repulsive bushman," Spy drawled from the end of the mercenary cuddle, back against a drugged Soldier who had no idea how to personal space.
"Fuck you, Spook."
"Fuck all ya'll."
"Scout, shut up."
There was a loud grunt from Heavy, then a half snoring sound as the large mercenary continued to sleep through his teammate's yelling. The Russian was on the other end of the sleeping arrangements, back to the cave entrance to block out the cold. Medic was next to him, similarly fast asleep, despite Scout's jostling from next to him.
"Bite me, Hardhat. Pyro, move your fat ass over."
"Mmph."
"Christ. Shut up. Just fucking shut up."
"Aww c'mon buddy, stop being so grouchy."
"…Soldier, I swear to fucking God, if you don't shut the hell up, I will jarate you."
"…"
"Well then. I'd say that escalated quickly."
There was a more jostling, cursing, and the sound of blankets being pulled.
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Engineer sighed, the map tight in his gloved hands, trying to ignore the snow pelting right into his goggles. They had left the cave early in the morning, intent on getting to Coldfront before another unfortunate event. The shortest mercenary led the group, Medic at his side to help make sure they were on track. Behind the two, Pyro and Sniper trudged, curtains secured to their backs, the former near-skipping and the latter looking about ready to fall over. Demoman and Soldier followed along, the non inebriated alcoholic with the American's arm over his shoulder for support. Ever since coming off the pain meds in the morning, Soldier went back to his normal rage-fueled ass-kicking, no help needing patriot, only to find that the loss of blood and pain meant he wasn't exactly too fit to carry his own weight. Begrudgingly he accepted his best friend's shoulder, and Demo reveled in the fact that he had a victim to listen to him talk while he endured being sober. Heavy brought up the rear, carrying Spy in his arms. Neither of the two grown men looked happy with the arrangement, but Spy was rather light, enough so that Heavy had no problem carrying him the rest of the way due to his injured ankle. And, as expected, Scout used Heavy's massive body as a shield against the snow, arms wrapped around himself and desperately wishing his ma' or Miss Pauling would come save him.
"Are we there yet?" called out the Bostonian, glancing around Heavy to see to the front of the traveling line. No one responded, and the runner frowned before hurrying past the Russian and reaching Sniper and Pyro. Seeing the little shit, Sniper grunted and pretended he had his kukri because bleeding out seemed much more preferable than enduring another minute of this goddamn American weather.
"Are we there yet?" Scout repeated, nudging Pyro in the side. The red-suited mercenary shook his head, gesturing farther ahead, past the forest the group found themselves in.
"Mmpheye mphay mpher mpulse," he mumbled, more than usual, glancing over at Sniper for confirmation. The Australian glared into the snow, hands stuffed into his coat, shoulders stiff.
"Hell if I know. All these bloody trees look the same to me."
"Aren't you s'pposed to be an expert tracker or some shit?" Scout grinned. Sniper shot him a middle finger.
"Hey fellas!" called Engineer from the front of the line, causing the traveling band to pause. "Looks like we only have two miles left in," the hardhat paused, finger tracing to the left, "that direction."
"Are we in respawn's range?" Spy asked, arms crossed stiffly across his chest, lit cigarette between his lips, and trying to maintain some dignity as Heavy held him like a new bride. Engineer shook his head.
" 'Fraid not. All base systems, including respawn, are turned off when we move location. I turn everything on when we get back to the base."
"Oh, lawd!"started Scout, hands moving to his hat's earflaps.
"Don't you dare start," interrupted Medic, shooting the younger man a glare. "None of you are going to die."
"Listen to the kraut, men!" piped up Soldier, raising his free arm as far as it would go, with a slight wince. "None of you maggots will die on my watch!"
"Says the man who nearly died from a small avalanche," grumbled Spy under his breath, somehow managing to hold the cigarette in the corner of his mouth. Spy's snark, as usual, seemed to incite the group, and insults started to fly, along with complaints, sober tales, and Scout's high-pitched whining. Engineer nearly facepalm'd, watching his teammates easily turn on one another in the dangerous weather – even Medic had been pulled into the outcries, looking like he was giving Spy a stern talking to, as the Frenchman waved his hands flippantly at an irate Soldier casually held back by a still sober Demoman who was actually telling a very hilarious story that everyone would regret not paying another to four days later, while Heavy seemed to be making an effort to calm down the three.
"Fellas," started Engineer, map in one hand, the other palm up as he approached an arguing Sniper and Scout, "we don't have time for this. Base is only two miles away and-"
Engineer paused, blinking behind his snow rimmed goggles. He thought he heard something. Something like growling, unlike the roar of the snow storm, which had lightened little since the group set out at dawn. He was about to pass it off as his imagination and hunger, when suddenly, a hard force knocked him off balance and into the snow. There was a howl, and the Texan heard his coat tear and felt hot spit in his face, before the weight left his side.
"Oh, Christ!" Scout's cry was more than enough confirmation for Engineer – getting to his feet as quick as he could, the hardhat saw his team had maneuvered to a circle around him, facing out to the surrounding pack of white wolves that had descended from the mountain.
"Are you still alive, pardner?" Oddly enough, Spy's mocking and snark was often reassuring. After all, if the Frenchman had time to annoy you, surely the situation wasn't too dangerous. Engineer nodded to the slumped over man next to him, the only other mercenary not standing outside of the circle.
"I don't understand. Are they really planning to attack us?" the Southerner questioned, glancing around to take a headcount – the pack was made up of eleven wolves, all stark white and blending into the snow, all very much as tall as Engineer's elbow, and all growling with barely contained hunger.
"Not use to humans. Have no fear," Heavy supplied, glancing over his shoulder at the Texan.
"We can take 'em," added Soldier, fists clenched, and leaning over, most likely in concealed pain.
"Nein. Stay with Spy. You don't want to tear your stitching," Medic ordered, slipping out a scalpel from his medkit.
"Don't tell me what to do, Sally." As soon as the insult left Soldier's mouth, two of the closest wolves jumped at Heavy. True to his word, Soldier looked ready to leap into the fray, only to be forced back into Engineer by Medic.
Soldier struggled against Texan's hold, watching as one of the wolves reared its head at Medic before being tackled into the snow by Sniper.
"Let me go!" snapped Soldier, pulling against Engineer as he watched the wolves start to attack. To his left, he saw Pyro pulling at a wolf's tail that was just about to take a bite out of Scout's neck.
"Calm down, Solly, this is for your own good!" Engineer retorted, wishing the other American would settle down so he could help out his teammates. Heavy seemed to be doing fine with two of the wolves, well aimed punches deterring them from laying any fatal attacks. Demoman was in a wrestle with another, and actually laughing, as if he weren't in a life or death situation. Two wolves had dawned on Scout and Pyro, and although the animals were circling now, it was only a matter of time before they took action. Likewise, three wolves were surrounding Sniper and Medic, the latter armed with a scalpel, the former with his bare hands and a jar of piss. Engineer frowned. He counted eight. Where were the others?
As if on cue, a shot rang out. Engineer snapped around to see wolf go down from Spy's revolver, and the other two jump on him in vengeance. Soldier shoved Engineer in the abdomen, releasing the Texan's hold, and tackled one of the wolves off the Frenchman.
"C'mere, cupcake," the American taunted, holding back the snapping animal, wincing as his stitches tore. Engineer ran to Spy who had managed to kill the other wolf, his butterfly knife up to the hilt in blood. The two mercenaries pushed the wolf's bulk off, and the shorter of the two hurried over to help Soldier. The Texan hovered as Soldier rolled around the snow with the growling animal, saliva all over his face.
"Solly, let 'em go!" The patriot let out a grunt, socking the persistent wolf across the eye, earning a yelp. He laughed then, his other hand squeezing the fur of the wolf where he held tight, even as the animal started to pull away.
"Solly-!"
"Allow me." A knife rammed into the the wolf's spine, a perfect backstab. Soldier gaped, watching in horror as the wolf slumped over, dead now.
"What the hell! Why'd you have to go and do that, crouton?" he barked, struggling with the weight of the wolf. Engineer let out a huff, rolling the mass of muscle and fur off, as Spy casually retrieved his knife, favoring one leg.
"I would make some witty battle commentary but-"
"Spook! Your knife," called Sniper. The trio turned to see the Australian currently holding a stick up as a makeshift weapon, back to back with Medic. The latter held a bloody scalpel tight in his gloved hand- the wolf across from the doctor was howling, whether in pain or anger from the wound on its shoulder, they weren't sure.
"Uh, a little help!" Scout was clinging onto one of the wolves, fingers digging into white fur as he rode along its back. Pyro similarly held on to the other, and the two white wolves bucked and howled, the third of their kind biting at the cargos' legs. Just before Engineer could run over to assist, there was a roar from Heavy, and everyone turned to see the usually docile Russian slam a wolf's head into a tree, breaking its skull for an instant kill. His coat was nearly torn off, and there was a scratch along his face. Seemingly realizing its outnumbered status, the wolf snarling at Heavy heeled back, just as the ones by Medic and Sniper stopped circling.
"Mmph!" Pyro and Scout were tackled off their respective wolves by the third male, only to watch the trio of animals start to retreat.
"Hell yeah!" called Soldier, pumping a fist in the air, even as blood started to drip from under his jacket. "You maggots better run!"
"Way to go, Heavy!" cheered Scout, grinning as he watched the wolves congregate further away, yet still circling the group. "Scared them chumps real good." The remaining wolves continued to growl, spit dripping into the snow, and seemed reluctant to fully back down. Previously white fur now stood stark red against the snow, blood staining the animals.
"Lads!" Everyone turned to see Demoman sitting in the snow, holding one of the wolves in what looked like a - hug? Instead of addressing the oddity of the cyclops holding a very dead wolf close, as if simply playing in the snow, the Scotsman pointed to the overhang near the side of the mountain. There, on the ledge, stood what the group guessed to be the alpha male. Large, with a sprinkle of brown fur along his brow, this wolf stood nearly up to Engineer's shoulders, dwarfing the rest of his pack. Behind him converged white wolves, teeth bared, legs bent and ready to attack in an instant.
"Well," mumbled Spy, staring blankly at the new arrivals, drawn to the fight by the lone gunshot and cacophony of howls. "It appears we are fucked."
"Run!" Medic blurted out, barreling into Soldier, who was now clutching his abdomen, pretending it didn't hurt like "that one time in Germany." The group rushed through an opening in the trees, Heavy hefting up Spy in his arms and Pyro helping Medic drag the now bleeding Soldier.
"Oh, Christ," Scout wailed , hurrying past his fellow mercs to take the lead. He glanced back over his shoulder, seeing Demo laughing as he ran, still holding one of the wolves in his arms. "Demo, what the hell?"
"I made a new friend, lad! Right cute ain't he?" Scout nearly felt tears - seems like sobriety had finally caused Demo to go crazy.
"We're dead, we're so dead!" cried the Bostonian, earning a thwack with the map from Engineer who ran alongside him.
"Just pipe down and run!"
Pulling up the end of the group, Sniper started to slow down, turning to face the incoming mass of wolves looking for revenge. He snarled, hand moving to the jar at his hip.
"Bloody pikers..."
Medic and Pyro turned, hearing the sharpshooter and seeing how far he was behind.
"Mmper!" Pyro called, clutching Soldier's arm.
"Don't try to be a hero, dummkopf!"
Sniper ignored the two, eyes narrowed, lips down in a scowl. He unclipped the jar from his belt, swung back his arm and:
"Jarate!"
A jar of liquid, bright yellow from not enough water and perhaps a serious kidney problem, sailed through the sky. With a crack, the jar exploded upon hitting the ground near the mass of wolves, spreading piss on the surrounding animals and snow.
The alpha male immediately stopped, before letting out what sounded like a wail. He started to shake his head, as if trying to get something off his face. The other wolves followed suit, bucking and circling as well, as if stuck in the piss snow. Sniper stared.
"Holy dooley, it worked!" The Australian pumped a fist into the air. "How do ya like that piss smell, mates? Huh, bothering yer nose? Aha, and everyone complains about the piss, but look at that! I'm a proper hero, now. Enjoy that, ya mangy, piss covered, sorry excuses for-agh!" Sniper yelped as Medic grabbed the back of his coat and started tugging him along through the snow. This didn't seem to stop the sharpshooter's gloating.
"Yeah, I showed those bastards. Thought they could mess with me... I'm from Australia mates, I've hunted rabbits bigger than you lot! In fact, I even made 'em into slippers. That's right! Bloody slippers bigger than you lot!"
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TF2 universe, where wolves are giant and have no fear of nine mercenaries, and where piss may be your best chance at stopping them. Looking forward to the reviews and hope I wasn't gone too long for you guys to lose interest!