If you watch Workaholics, I was mostly inspired by the episode on that show where they had sock puppets. Just look up the sock puppet scene for Workaholics and I guarantee you will lol.
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The trained killers were sitting crosslegged, much to their annoyance, in a circle in front of their chairs. Somehow they all found themselves in possession of white tube socks, courtesy of Miss Whitman's enormous purse. At the center of the circle was a pile of art supplies, which the therapist encouraged all the mercenaries to use to make their sock puppets resemble themselves. When Spy attempted to pass off a blank sock as himself, the curly-haired woman smiled and just said that any lack of effort was grounds for report to the administrator.
"Okay! Is everyone about done?" Miss Whitman glanced at the group around her, feet tucked under her thighs. She received a few nods, but mostly mumbles, and a "hudda hudda huh" which she interpreted as yes.
"Can we sit in ze chairs, bitte?" Medic spoke up, sock puppetless hand moving to rub his lower back. This earned a cough from Scout who murmured "old" under his breath. Miss Whitman completely ignored the latter and nodded, getting up to take her seat.
"Yup. And why don't you start us off, Mr. Medic?" Medic stared, glancing down at his simple sock puppet. A square piece of felt sat on top for hair, two sharpie circles marked glasses, and a red cross denoted the sock's profession.
"I'm not exactly sure vat ve are doing," the German admitted.
"Mmplk mpout mphr mmeeings," Pyro explained, proudly holding up his own sock puppet, obviously created with great care. It had a smiley face in black marker drawn on, and yarn pieces stuck neatly out of the head, standing for hair. A mix of intricate orange, red, and yellow swirls were patterned along the rest of the white fabric. Miss Whitman nodded with a smile.
"Exactly. Just tell us how you're feeling right now. It can be about the team, or yourself, or even what's going on with your family."
"Annoyed," the doctor deadpanned, "I feel annoyed."
"Use the puppet." Whitman pointed to the sock on Medic's left hand. The German blinked before slowly miming the puppet's mouth moving open and close.
"I feel annoyed," he repeated, still with a flat voice but at least using his puppet.
"Why is Doktor annoyed?" Heavy asked, right hand moving with the too-small sock over it. Like Medic, his only had eyes, but the Russian had included the collar of a red shirt and poorly drawn hands with what seemed to be Sasha in them.
"Because he's being forced to do this nonsense," interrupted Spy, arms crossed and sock puppet waving around, a half-assed attempt at playing along. Puppet Spy had on a white paper mask with BLU Scout's face drawn on it. He even glued on a small pipe-cleaner cigarette to make it more realistic.
"Yeah! We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for some people not doing their job," spoke up Scout, animatedly talking with his puppet as he shot Engineer a glare. Just as the Russian of the group, Scout added a torso to his puppet, drawing in a six-pack with marker. Further, what could only be described as a shit-eating smiley face was drawn on, with a felt hat taped on to the top of the puppet. Engineer narrowed his eyes behind his goggles, lifting his sock puppet. It was surprisingly accurate, with dark construction paper overalls taped on, and a detailed hardhat and goggles drawn in with marker.
"Boy, you best not be blamin' our series of embarrassing losses on me," the Texan threatened, puppet flapping up and down.
"It was everyone's fault!" accused Soldier, pointing with his sock puppet. "Except mine, of course." His puppet was a sloppy marker American flag, no surprise to anyone.
"Of course, it's never your fault," grumbled Sniper under his breath, not at all using his sock puppet with the felt akubra and sunglasses glued on.
"Use the puppet, lad," Demoman laughed, demonstrating puppet talk movement with his sock. It had an eyepatch drawn on, with a smiley face and black yarn glued to the top. Sniper shot the Scotsman an unseen glare from beneath his aviators.
"Everyone's busy pointin' fingers instead of admitting we all played a part in the losses," the Australian complained, miming his aggravation with his sock-puppet "speaking" as well.
"Sorry, some of us can't just camp," bit out Puppet Scout.
"Oooooh," Demopuppet called.
"At least he manages to do his job," Puppet Engie accused gesturing at Puppet Scout who looked horribly offended with his cocky drawn on smiley face.
"Ze same could be said for you," stepped in Medipuppet, harsh German accent implying all that was left unsaid.
"Mphy! Mphsee mppd mphs mmst!" Puppet Pyro jumped quick to Puppet Engie's defense. "Mmnper's mphrite. Mpts mpall mpor mmults."
"Can we all admit that the rest of you are obviously inadequate for your jobs. It is unfortunate, but true," drawled BLU Scout Puppet with his annoying French accent and cigarette breath.
"Ooooo- wait that's not true, ye snake!"
"Yeah! I'm amazing at my job. I have the most experience, the most military training, the most-"
"-arrogance!"
"That ain't just Solly."
"Are we just gonna be insultin' each other now?"
"Why? Ya need to run fifty feet away and get ready to insult us, ya campin' camper?"
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" came Demopuppet's scandalous cheer. Puppet Sniper stiffened, eyes unseen behind cut out sunglasses.
"Maybe the reason I camp is 'cause I don't want to see you lot die," Puppet Sniper snapped, akubra tilting as he talked. "If I camp, you stay alive."
For a brief moment, silence enveloped the room as the other mercenaries considered the sharpshooter's words. It was no secret that headshots from the camping Australian had saved them all more than once, even allowing them to push in for a victory.
"Vell...vell maybe you dummkopfs vouldn't be dying if you stayed close," Medipuppet grumbled, one cottony hand moving to adjust the drawn on glasses.
"I am always close," mumbled out Puppet Heavy in his thick accent. "Heavy protects Doktor, who protects everyone." American Flag Puppet Soldier scoffed, his stripes and stars wrinkling.
"I don't get protected, I protect! And kill. I kill to protect you maggots, and it's the best goddamn killing that goes on in the field."
"Lad's got a point," Demopuppet added, sounding almost sober. "Down right murders BLUs. And I only know that because half the time, I'm watchin' his sorry arse."
"Don't give yourself too much credit," American Flag Puppet Soldier grumbled, though it was clear he appreciated the gesture.
"Oh, please." If anatomically possible, BLU Scout Puppet would have rolled his eyes. "You have no idea how many times someone has tried to kill you when your back was turned." The Frenchman disguised as an American attempted to puff at his pipe cleaner cigarette. "Fortunately for you, they ended up with a knife in their own backs...though I guess I should be thankful you are all very distracting meat shields."
"I'm gonna take that as a compliment," noted Puppet Engie dryly. "Lord knows I wouldn't be able to do half my job if it wasn't for the rest of ya'll. Especially you, pardner." The Texan nodded his cotton head over to Puppet Pyro - the mumbling mercenary's sharpie smile seemed to grow.
"Mmpr mmpfj mphll mpee. Mmrry mphll mpy mpoor mmph."
"Aww, c'mon guys," interrupted Puppet Scout, voice shaking a bit. "You're all makin' me think about the ending to that movie we watch a coupla' months ago, geez. Aw, cripes...screw it, you guys are the best bastards I could ask for on a team, and trust me, I've met a bunch of bastards." Before anyone could respond to the surprisingly emotional sentiment from the team's runner, clapping sounded.
The mercenaries turned away from their puppets to see Miss Whitman smiling widely as she clapped.
"Wow," she breathed, marveling at the exercise she just witnessed. "That went really well, I feel like-"
"Agh, I think I got somethin' in my eye."
"Heavy is hungry. Lunch time now?"
"It is imperative I take a smoke break."
"I'm gonna just get some more Scrumpy, the rest of ye want?"
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So there you go! Hope it didn't come off too sentimental. There will probably be one more chapter to this arc. Looking forward to reviews!
