This time is easier. Delphine blinks within her thermal blanket burrito. She has a vague sense of having her body handled, but she is well wrapped in thermal blankets before she is aware enough to notice anything. Nudity is just part of it. Delphine reminds herself. Surely the medical staff isn't looking them over. There's nothing interesting to see, no piercings or tattoos of any kind. Not that piercings can be worn into the lab. She remembers watching Cosima take hers out and place them into her locker when she was summoned down to the cryostasis labs.
Delphine turns her head, blinking. She can move, it's an improvement. She sees a different doctor this time. One she doesn't know. The technicians check their vitals, but generally leave them be. She isn't vomiting, isn't doing anything abnormal. This must be what it is supposed to be like. This is what last time would have been like if she hadn't been stupid with Roland.
She counts the intervals, and knows that they are checking her more often.
"Delphine?" A technician prompts her. "How are you feeling honey?"
"I'm. OK. I feel really warm." Delphine mumbles. She doesn't feel sick. But she does feel strange. Hazy. Maybe this is what it is supposed to be like. The fluorescent lights above her are too bright. Everything is too bright. And very warm.
"Your body temperature took a little longer than we like to come up." The technician tells her gently. "But other than that, everything looks normal this time. No nausea?"
Delphine shakes her head the best she is able to, but she's shivering. She must still be hypothermic. But that is a normal part of the process.
"Dr. Singh will check on you. OK?" The technician tells her before speeding off to her next patient. Delphine looks over. She'd thought she was alone last time. Or with two or three others. She can make out at least seven other patients from her current position. Three cryolabs. 30 passengers thawed at a time, that means there should be 10.
Delphine wonders if Cosima is being thawed too. Or if the groups change. But then wouldn't they have to be together? She, Cosima, Celia, Sol and.. The others? Especially if they occupy one room together. She is considering the various permutations possible of thawing colonists when she realizes she is not alone anymore.
Dr. Singh appears and she smiles at her. "Hello Delphine. We haven't met yet. I am Dr. Singh."
"Hello." Delphine echoes. She feels odd looking at Dr. Singh who is probably just over a decade older than she is now. Would that have been her fate if she hadn't been selected? To live out her life as a doctor on one of the colony ships.
"You're doing much better this time. Dr. Leekie warned me to keep an eye on you. But I feel confident we will proceed with standard procedures. If you do become ill, please alert us via your personal device and we will get you to medlab very quickly."
"Thank you." Delphine mutters.
"OK. One of the technicians will do some acupuncture and tests. You will consume the solution to clear your bowels… as you did last time. And you will proceed to your bunkroom for a good eight hours of sleep after we are through."
"OK." Delphine thinks there is no point arguing with this woman. She clearly wants her to follow the standard procedures. A tech comes by, and near silently inserts a variety of acupuncture needles. It triggers a brief memory of this being done last time, despite her illness.
"Stay still." The tech cautions her, and Delphine wonders what the wake cycles for the technicians are like. They must, after all, be able to revive the entire population upon arrival.
She cooperates and sees the door open and close behind herself as she watches people leave. But she cannot make out more than the hair and footsteps of any of them.
She slowly dresses when clothes are handed to her, and looks around. Every other biobed is emptied. She is the last of the set. And maybe that is best.
"Drink this."
A bottle of an artificially blue coloured liquid is handed to her and Delphine drinks it as quickly as possible, finding her body behaves more or less like she expects it too. She follows her device's instructions to the bunkroom, finding that the labyrinth of corridors is looking less unfamiliar now. And she finds her bunkroom, quickly verifies her locker is present and then immediately climbs into her bunk to sleep. There's no sense fighting it, not when her vision is blurring and every part of her body is intent on sleep.
Sleep comes quickly, Delphine thinks as she blinks herself awake an unknown number of hours later in the relative darkness of her curtained bunk. She feels surprisingly normal. And draws back the curtain, sitting up on the bed.
Unsurprisingly, she is not alone. She sees Cosima's familiar smiling face. They'd spent a few days getting to know each other last time. Along with the rest of her bunkmates. It doesn't feel that that long since she's seen Cosima. A day? Or two. How strange to think it's been more than ten years.
"Hey… you're not sick this time." Cosima leans against the wall in the bunk room. "Good to see you among the living." Her dreadlocks are down, and look almost wet. Had Cosima been up that long? Had time to bathe?
"It is definitely a relief." Delphine responds. "Everything was normal this time."
"Good to hear." Cosima smiles at her. "So… Do you want to get some food?"
"I think so." Delphine nods. She might as well go with Cosima. She can always shower afterwards and they are supposed to eat upon waking. She notices the other curtains are all closed, and assumes her other bunkmates are still sleeping off the exhaustion of the process. She finds herself wondering if the sleep is medically induced or a natural reaction to the cryogenics.
"What are you thinking?" Cosima tilts her head and asks her, when they are halfway to the cafeteria.
"I am wondering if our post cryo sleep is a natural reaction or induced. I have never fallen asleep so quickly in my life. And it seems rather uniform for all of us. Too uniform. It's too convenient. Too simple." Delphine responds honestly. Remembering that Cosima too, is a scientist. That she might get it.
"Oooh. Interesting question." Cosima considers and looks back. "But how could it ever be tested?" They enter the cantine, to find a few fresh foods and a large pile of rations. They wordlessly take a little of each and settle down at a far table so as to not disturb other passengers.
After a brief pause, to ensure no one else is listening. Delphine continues. "Well… We would have to skip the blue flushing solution. That is the most likely culprit." Delphine reasons it out. "Except that there's always a chance they inject us with something beforehand. But the delay it takes us to walk back to bunkrooms suggests something is time-released or… partially broken down by stomach acid."
"Or… it could be a combination/reaction from the gel stuff they make us drink beforehand reacting to the flushing solution. Maybe there's a sleeping medication built into that? And as it is broken down the medication is released?"
Delphine drops her voice. "We will never know."
"I guess not… we're all just along for the ride." Cosima answers, with a look that is almost appraising.
Delphine bites carefully and chews her rations. She'd taken a small serving of the fresh vegetables, which today seem to be steamed broccoli and cauliflower. She wonders what else they'd managed to grow on the ship. What tomorrow would bring. The taste is fresh, what she would expect. She eats the vegetables eagerly. No doubt the crew has constant fresh produce. Likely part of the draw for many of them signing on for what will be a one-way trip. A job that will last the rest of their lives with the promise of a peaceful retirement on the colony if they survive.
"I think they're real." Cosima smirks between bites.
"The vegetables?"
"Yes." Cosima tilts her head. "But who knows what they have been genetically modified to do."
"Most crops are modified… It is more cost effective." Delphine brushes this off. It was paranoia to get into that line of thinking. And unproductive given they had no choice in the matter anyways.
"Most… Yes. Depends where you live and how many financial resources you have access to. If you can access fresh produce at all, you're privileged."
Delphine only hums, she remembers Cosima is from the west coast of the United States. A place that was so divided geographically she wondered how long it could survive under any one banner.
"I could get some in France, it was part of my rations." Delphine concedes. "But it was limited. Not as much as animal products." Her personal device chirps with some kind of message, but she ignores it in favour of Cosima. It isn't even a particularly engaging AI. It cannot compete with human interaction.
"You've eaten meat?" Cosima looks over surprised.
"Occasionally, throughout my life… it doesn't sit well. I don't think I have the enzymes. My parents supplemented us with enzymes at those meals, but I found it ineffective. My mother can eat it without incident." It had been rare occasions. Delphine thinks. But those days were gone. There would be no meat on the colony. Though no doubt some idiot would attempt to ' hunt ' the local wildlife, eat it, and possibly become seriously ill.
Cosima shakes her head between bites of rations. "I never did. My parents were vegetarians, hugely into being as ecologically friendly as possible. I know some wealthy families had lab-grown meat though. Never us."
"That makes sense." Delphine has never been particularly skilled with geography but understands that where Cosima is from is warm, produce would be easy to grow, and no doubt overpopulated like most places.
"It does… I…. it is weird to talk about my parents." Cosima looks down. "We left Earth 26 years ago… My parents were already in their 60s. They… may not be living anymore."
"And you were their only child." Delphine nods remembering. It is comforting to her, to think of her brother and her parents being together. Of the family continuing on without her. She wonders if her brother has had a child. If that child is bringing joy to her aging parents. If that child is by now, fully grown.
"They… understood why I needed to go." Cosima surmises quietly. "They knew it was getting harder and harder to get enough food. To get most things we need. And the two of them, they're resourceful. My parents are stupidly in love… still. They have each other." Cosima nods. "And next time… we are in a wake cycle. I will…do some kind of weird memorial thing."
"A memorial?"
"Mourning the certain deaths of the loved ones we left behind as they age? Yeah. It's out there. But it probably does happen. Or due to the cryostasis we can fool ourselves into thinking it's been months and they are still living. The human brain is a curious thing."
"Probably." Delphine takes slow bites.
"Why were you sick last time?" Cosima asks just as they are finishing up their first small meal.
Delphine slows. She bites her lip and puts her hands onto the table. Surely, as a scientist Cosima may be able to guess she'd mixed some kind of medication. She hadn't told Priya when she'd asked, maybe out of embarrassment. But maybe with Cosima it was safer to disclose.
"You mixed meds?" Cosima softens her tone a little. And Delphine figures she might as well answer. It is scientifically valuable, as Dr. Leekie called it.
"I took emergency contraception on my way to catch my shuttle." Delphine says quietly.
"But… why?" Cosima's brow furrows. And it's a stupid question.
"Why do you think?" Delphine drops her voice and rolls her eyes.
"I just… I don't hear of many people having unprotected sex." Cosima shrugs. "I mean, with the rationing and population caps. Compliance with using contraception is really high. Pretty much universal where I am. Pharmaceutical companies keep making a killing on it. It's mandatory a lot of places."
"Well, they made us remove any permanent birth control a minimum of 3 weeks before boarding. And before that for all the testing." Delphine tells her. It's not a full answer, but it's true. She'd received a notice saying any implanted device must be removed. She just hadn't bothered to acquire a new device after having one removed for all the testing required. Why would she have for only a few more weeks?
"Right… right… implants and IUDs." Cosima nods. "There are condoms…"
"Yes. I use them. I just… didn't have any." And why would she? It was not as if she was having sex regularly. Or that she had in years.
"Who was he? The man you left behind." Cosima asks. "Your boyfriend? Your partner?"
"An ex-boyfriend. He showed up to my farewell party. I just… I wanted to feel something. It… didn't work." Delphine shakes his head. "I guess that makes me the asshole."
"Or… he showed up at your party to get laid and was negligent in not bringing a condom? Did he like… stealth you?" Cosima shakes her head. And the term is one Delphine has heard, but not one that comes up too often. At least in France.
"Why is it his responsibility? He cannot get pregnant. His 'living allowance' won't even be affected. He wouldn't be penalized for an unplanned pregnancy. He wouldn't be sent immediately to an abortion clinic. Or six weeks later ordered to report to a sexual health clinic to be given an implant or IUD as he can no longer be trusted with barrier methods." Delphine scoffs quietly. That was the attitude. And she'd seen it happen, with friends. Unplanned pregnancies were not strictly speaking allowed, and almost always ended quickly. Though, in the colony, that could easily change. If they wanted babies, and weren't particular as to who reproduced with who.
'Why is it yours?" Cosima counters quickly. "Because you have to live with the side effects? He was an asshole for trying it, honestly. There's no way they would have let you board pregnant. An abortion would take extra time. I don't know if they would have let you board at all. Though I think a few studies have said that fetuses cannot survive the freezing and thawing of cryostasis. It's like epic levels of biological stress."
Delphine nods, her thought processes that morning had gone through a similar evolution. And landed on the same solution. "No… I just… I took emergency contraception. I thought, I thought that was my safest choice. It… wasn't."
"How close to death did you get?" Cosima asks, before standing up with a little stretch.
Having finished eating, they clear away the few dishes they used and get water from a dispenser. Reusable cups are provided as are bins for used dishes. None of them breakable, or any plastic Delphine can easily identify. What are they even made of? A screen prompts them to sign up for kitchen duty, so they do. And their devices beep - everything syncing automatically. No doubt they will be reminded.
"I was severely dehydrated… so it was risky. But they kept me hooked up to fluids. Probably because I am the only pathologist." Delphine assumes they want her to live, and are motivated to keep her alive. Even grudgingly as she'd used up weeks of medical resources. Resources none of the passengers were supposed to be needing.
"So IV fluids for weeks while they stabilized you?"
"Yes." Delphine nods. "But I lived. So… it was at least worth it."
"Wow… You're very valuable to… the planners." Cosima shoots her a mischievous look that has her laughing and feeling rather light. "You know, we could use this to our advantage."
"The planners?" Delphine raises an eyebrow. "Who are you talking about?"
"The people who planned this colony. They chose us all out of millions of candidates. Tested. Approved. Genetically sampled."
"I do not think it is that straightforward. There… is a Colonization Commission. It's a schema, we are all up to their standards, or we are not. I applied twice. I suspect most of our results are analyzed by AI, only those meeting the standards are even presented to a human committee to select colonists for each ship."
"You… reapplied?" Cosima looks genuinely surprised. "What? Like, they let you reapply?"
Delphine nods between bites of less than perfect tasting rations. "I wasn't finished my medical training. So I was told to finish my training and reapply."
Cosima is stunned. "Wow."
"Why?"
"I mean, I know all kinds of people who were refused. Scientists. Social scientists. Nurses. Therapists. Engineers. Artists… all kinds of people. No one I have ever spoken to was told 'reapply in a few years'. Some were given a reason, usually genetic carrier status. And some were simply told their overall score was not high enough."
"Maybe it is because I am a doctor." Delphine shrugs it off.
"Maybe." Cosima echoes her but does not seem quite convinced.
"How many people do you know who were refused?" Delphine thinks she probably knows several dozen. Maybe more. It wasn't something most people talked about. Admitting you weren't good enough wasn't something people usually wanted to do. Roland, she only knew the reasons as she'd seen his rejection letter.
"At least 30." Cosima tilts her head. "Before I applied, I talked to every single person I knew, every person my parents knew, who had applied."
"Even though… the fact you could talk to them meant that they were not accepted?"
"Yes."
"So… You studied?" Delphine finds this amusing. The genetics panel could not be fooled. She supposes the rest of the testing though rigorous could be studied for. And the personal section was just answering basic biographical data.
Cosima lets out a small laugh. "You could say that. I… came up with a strategy."
"And here you are. But, ma poule , I think it is mostly good luck. And your… intelligence, your expertise why you are here."
"I studied genetics." Cosima shrugs. "But I didn't even think about applying until I was 23 or so. And I thought it was impossible."
"Why impossible? You are here." Delphine finds herself feeling soft towards Cosima. Maybe Cosima carried some genetic trait they found undesirable? If so, then the rest of her score must have been very high. And it cannot be anything too bad.
"You're right. I'm here." Cosima sighs. "The rest doesn't matter now."
"It doesn't." Delphine agrees, trying to be reassuring. After all, she could use a friend. They all could. These are the social bonds they will have when they land. And part of her is beginning to think Cosima will be part of her life for a long long time.
"And in we go." Cosima calls excitedly as they begin their kitchen duty. The large doors open once they have assembled, in what counts as early morning on the Swan Queen. There are six other women all seeming pleased enough to get this duty over with for several weeks. Sol, Eden, and Celia had opted to join them for kitchen duty, thinking it would be more fun together. Priya had opted to put it off. And knowing most of the people working today seemed wise. Delphine thought. Maybe like last time, it would be a bonding experience.
She did like her bunkmates. Found the midwives to be well educated, pleasant and generally interesting to deal with. She just liked Cosima a bit more. But maybe because they were the odd ones out?
The kitchen was the same, large industrial space with appliances, fridges and counterspace. It looked like something out of a cafeteria. Or a prison. But large enough to have a team prepare enough food for a day, or more, depending. Her device chirps, as do the others. Arrows direct them towards assigned stations.
"Here we go again." Cosima mumbles under her breath and Delphine laughs, until she realizes that her device is steering her towards the far back corner of the kitchen. Away from Cosima..
The largest screen on the far wall displays their food assignments, and locations. And Delphine glances up, trying to figure out what had gone wrong with sign up. How had Cosima been assigned to spinach salad, and making something resembling refried beans or bean dip with pinto beans? They had signed up on the register side by side, within minutes of each other.
Cosima looks back only once, and gives her a shrug. She points at the device and mouths something that looks a hell of a lot like 'bastards'. Delphine muffles a giggle. Perhaps they were being spied on. Perhaps Cosima was right about a lot of things.
"Cosima.." Delphine calls after her new friend, before steeling herself and following her prompts to a different kitchen work station. The young woman working next to her was fair, and short.
"Hello… I'm Delphine." She tries to channel Cosima's friendliness. Hoping that maybe that trait of her new friend has rubbed off on her.
"I'm Nola." The girl answers. "So… Do you know how to make tofu?" Several screens show a variety of steps. And the first task was the most consuming. Making tofu. From the looks of the bins of soybeans, likely enough tofu to last them several days. Delphine sighs. She glances over at Cosima who has found herself working with Sol and Celia. And she finds this… irritating.
"Non." Delphine shakes her head. Being assigned this task did not make sense. Why would the system do this? Why would it have the workstations set up like this? Why wouldn't she be with her bunkmates?
"OK. You can start by steaming the full pods then, edamame to be served with lunch." Nola sighs. "I will start the tofu and then you will come and help me."
"OK. Just… tell me what to do."
"Just follow the screens. Or ask your device for help." Nola seems clueless as to why she hasn't. "They are programmed to help us. So useful. I would get super lost without it. I even keep the earpiece in. Unless I am sleeping, so I get full audio."
"Mmm." Delphine hums wondering what Cosima would say to that. She's largely kept the earpiece out, and the device on silent mode. As it was optional. But how many passengers use that function? Wouldn't they get annoyed?
"It looks like the soybeans are doing well hydroponically. They often do. We retrained the crew last wake cycle. It's really improved output." Nola nods.
"Are you… in agriculture?" Delphine asks the much younger girl who nods enthusiastically.
"I have training in hydroponics, agriculture… soil testing." Nola continues. "Feeding the colony is an important job."
"It is." Delphine agrees readily. "Where are you from?"
"I…" Nola responds while shelling soybeans absentmindedly. "Am from Colorado, USA. Born in Denver and raised in an intentional community not far from there. Probably almost as beautiful as the colony is going to be."
"Oh." Delphine looks at the screens which show instructional cooking and food preparation videos. Complete with handwashing. Delphine plays along, checking the screens, and following along with the steps. She hears laughter from across the kitchen and wonders why wasn't she assigned to work with her bunkmates?
"And you are from.. Québec?" Nola takes a quick guess. And Delphine figures Nola has unlikely been out of the US.
"Non. I am from Lille, France." Delphine is quick to correct the assumption. Not that it really matters anymore. Who cares where people thought she was from. If they wanted to know there was probably some personnel file they could refer to.
"Oh!" Nola reacts with surprise. "Wow…"
"Yes, well according to the files, over 45% of the colonists are from countries outside of North America." Delphine drops this fact, one of the very few interesting ones her device was able to provide. It was diverse, which as Cosima reminded her, was best from a genetics perspective.
"Oh that many… Well… one way or another my future husband is on this ship. I just have to find him." Nola shrugs with a smile.
Delphine nods, Nola is correct. Their options for partners are limited to the other passengers aboard this ship. But hopefully there are enough men to choose from that mating does not become…competitive.
"Oh… you're married?" Nola asks. Clearly curious enough to ask.
"Me?" Delphine cannot contain her surprise. "No. I'm not." As far as she knows, Priya is the only passenger who is married in the same group. She hasn't heard anyone else mention a husband. And Priya mentions Micah almost incessantly.
"So you're in the same boat as me… I'm sorry… I thought you would be… being older and all." Nola winces and Delphine decides this girl is well-meaning, and she'll let that go.
"I am 31." Delphine states plainly. She isn't that old. Cosima is nearly as old as she is, though looks younger. And Nola doesn't look past her early 20s.
"I guess there are men in their 30s though…" Nola thinks aloud. "I think I want somebody close in age to me, but I am trying to be open. You know?"
"Hmmm." Delphine hums again. "Well. We will have weeks to get acquainted with the other passengers."
"I know. They want us all awake and moving two weeks before landing." Nola sighs. "I just hope someone is running some kind of social events those two weeks before all the hard work starts. Especially for those in my field! We need chances to meet. To figure out who they are. Like they have to do something to help us. But I heard things get planned. People take charge to help couples get together."
"You wish the sexes weren't segregated?" Delphine reads in quickly. And she's heard that sentiment spoken a few times. No doubt plenty of people are irritated about it.
"Oh no. The CC knows what they are doing. This is the method they use for a reason, no in-flight babies or abortions." Nola drops her voice with the last word and Delphine tries to remember which kind of state Colorado is. She can never keep abreast of American politics. Far too complicated. She makes a mental note to ask Cosima later.
Delphine finds the first task simple enough, but Nola takes charge. Assigning her to shelling the soy beans before they both rewatch the processing videos twice.
Cosima pops her head around the corner. "Hey Delphine. I am almost done… So I am going to go. I'll see you later."
"Of course. Bye Cosima."
"She is one of your bunkmates?" Nola reads it correctly.
"Yes, Cosima is the genetics researcher. I also share with the four midwives - Celia, Sol, Priya… and Eden." Delphine tries to remember their names but she has met and remet so many people her head spins.
"Yeah I bunk with four other agricultural/horticultural people." Nola smiles nodding. "Somehow they all got kitchen duty tomorrow and I got today? Weird."
"The system is odd." Delphine thinks, as she watches her morning slip away into an oblivion of rather boring kitchen work.
She feels a mild sense of accomplishment when the tofu is sitting in molds.
"And that is it… next team has it." Nola grins and quickly moves. "I think I will go for some VR games. You?"
"I don't know yet." Delphine thinks some kind of virtual reality would be a good break. The ship was making her feel… stuck.
"You could join us." Nola suggests. "Unless you have plans with someone. I met Cosima last wake cycle. She's really nice. And knowing the midwives is probably good. We're all going to be seeing plenty of them.."
"Non. Not really." Delphine sighs. She prefers not to speculate on how many children she will have for the colony or who with. An idea of a person she doesn't currently know being that much a part of her life isn't something to focus on now. It was best she didn't build up any fantasies about who her partner would be. Or what her children would take from her. She is well aware of what her contract states as the minimum and assumes work will keep her too busy for more really. She wanders the corridors a little, her device chirping suggestions at her. Mostly for virtual reality or social spaces. Spaces, she assumes, they are supposed to use to build social bonds, friendships - that will help ease their adjustments on the surface.
When she shows up at lunch, she is waved over by Cosima.
"Where were you this afternoon?" Cosima looks at her curiously. Like she already cares. And maybe she does. Delphine thinks. Maybe she has made her first real friend here already.
"I was just thinking. Nola was… an interesting work partner."
Cosima's laughter is easy to join in And she feels at ease again. She can build relationships, build the bonds she needs to survive. She's already begun.
The following days fall into a pattern. She has breakfast with her bunkmates. Meets a few more people including a botanist and geologist who are in the bunk room three doors down from them. She plays silly VR games with Cosima, or with Priya who talks mostly about missing her husband. And she tries to pass the time. She finds she manages to have fun. To fill her time, but it feels empty.
But on the third day, despite enjoying conversation, especially with Cosima. She needs something different. Something a little more…serious. Delphine finds herself in the archive room looking up the social and demographic data of every passenger on board. They are all listed, by name and occupation. The few children on board, all between the ages of three and nine, are listed on their mother's files. She wonders about pediatric cryostasis. But there's no information to be found.
"Delphine… I'm bored." Cosima swans into the archives, the doors opening.
Delphine startles at first. "How did you know where I am?"
"These stupid devices are spying on us all." Cosima points at hers. "I wondered aloud where you were and was told Delphine Cormier is in the archives ."
"There are serious privacy concerns." Delphine's brow furrows, wondering if it is true. She's never tested that function. But then again, was truly that different back home? All the appointments. All the re-evaluation of her living conditions and life requirements.
"Actually… I just went looking for you. This is the only… vaguely academic location available. I found you on my first try." Cosima shoots her a shy smile. "I have been here but only to download e-books."
"Care to join me?" Delphine asks. And maybe it would be better with company. But it's not productive research. She's seen many faces. Some are familiar. Others not. Some are handsome. Some less so. But nothing on the files tells her anything about the person other than having a job of higher or lower status. Nothing gives her anything to feel connected to the idea of anyone making a life with her.
"Oooh. You're checking out all our files." Cosima looks at the screen, a list of names. The screen currently shows the names of 12 out of 384 passengers.
"They are very barebones." Delphine shrugs, and searches for Cosima. The file comes up quickly.
Cosima Niehaus, Population Genetics and Epigenetics, PhD. Age: 29 years at boarding.
Delphine thinks it was wise for the computer to simply reiterate the passengers age at boarding. After all, how old any of them were was going to become an increasingly complex question to answer. The years since boarding, 26, display easily on request. But putting the two numbers together is something the system oddly refuses to do.
Cosima keeps her eyes fixed on Delphine, not noticing how the screen changes behind her. Or how her headshot now takes up a good eighth of the large screen behind her head. "Well they can't have you selecting mates still in flight. You know that's probably why they keep us separated?"
"To prevent us from having sex?"
Cosima laughs, unable to help herself. "To have everybody wound up and ready to meet and mate within weeks of hitting the surface."
Delphine shakes her head. "Cosima… I do not think anyone will be procreating that quickly. Except for maybe established couples. But the first year, there will be a lot of work to get the first settlement up and running." Nola had been right about that much, especially in her line of work.
"Yeah. My lab here is virtual. But it's modular, made to be extracted from the ship and inserted into a building on the surface. These archives too probably." Cosima looks up and then finally notices her own face on the screen.
"So not looking for a mate then."
"No. Just… trying to get an idea of who everyone is. Where you're from."
"So you are…looking for someone?"
"I don't know." Delphine responds without thinking. "I don't… know if I want to right now."
"Well you will have to eventually. People are going to pair off." Cosima gestures, her arms moving easily into a shrug. The hand-talking was familiar. And Delphine had to admit maybe it was part of why she felt so comfortable with Cosima.
"Probably in the first three years of colonization." Delphine responds quietly, switching to a different screen. There's no need to study Cosima's file when the flesh and blood woman is standing in front of her. Besides, Cosima is the closest thing to a friend she currently has. Cosima is likely to answer any questions about her she may have.
"I don't think there's much of a choice for most people here." Cosima agrees. But she sounds pretty solemn.
"Why is that?" Delphine answers as she's reading about the Colonization Commision. But there's nothing new. Nothing she doesn't already know.
"Uhh… could it be because we are literally breeding stock?" Cosima is quick to say it, and the words hit wrong.
She shakes her head. That isn't right. Not what they should call themselves. Not at all. "Non…"
"Delphine, you know fertility testing was part of the requirements." Cosima spells it out further. Her hands move again, and Delphine wonders if she wants to go down this road.
"And medical tests, cognitive tests… aptitudes." Delphine lists off the other tests. The ones she wasn't half naked in a doctor's office subjected to a variety of invasive testing. Pelvic exams, ultrasounds, hysterosalpingogram, hormone testing. Every single test available was done.
"Yes but… there are education professionals, early childhood development workers, city planners architects, waste management professionals - all kinds of professions. The way I see it we're divided into three groups."
"Oh?"
"The science-y medical people like you and I. the essential building blocks for building and running a civilization, and the survivalists with specific skills that will help establish the colony. Like the agricultural teams."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"These ships are all supposed to be able to colonize independently. We cannot rely on the other ships arriving. They are supposed to, but we are supposed to be able to work without additional support for a long time."
"Yes. Of course. That is a safety feature… that is why they have… you."
"Yes. Safeguarding the genetic future of the colony, studying everyone… blah blah… Remember how 90% of the colonists are adults under 35?"
"Yes?" Delphine has noted there are exceptions. The older OBGYN is 46, but also traveling with his 39 year old wife and nine year old son. A few other specialists are permitted to be over 35, but Delphine has noticed the common denominator - they are all male.
"We're breeding stock. It's in the contracts."
"Yes… Well.. it is a colony. It must be established. And that means, children. A second generation of colonists." Delphine sighs. "I am here to study pathogens, to practice medicine, and to safeguard the well-being of the colony. And my contract specifies I must produce a minimum of two living children."
"Yep. Breeding stock." Cosima winces. "I just… wanted to live. You know? Earth sucks. My future there… who knows. If I go? I have a big adventure. I live somewhere with clean air. Get fed, 100% guaranteed…"
"Assuming the agricultural teams hold up their end of the bargain." Delphine muses to herself, but she thinks they seem competent, if very young for the most part.
"Delphine, there's crates and crates of emergency rations below decks in cargo storage." Cosima laughs. "There's enough for three years. We're not going to starve. I hope."
"There's crates and crates of many things below decks." Delphine adds. That much she knows from her brief stay in the main medical lab. Most of it is for the passengers, though some is designated for crew use throughout the decades of travel.
"But do you really buy into this? The whole fairy tale? The marketing images of beautiful happy families set against alien vistas?" Cosima wrinkles her nose and leans back against the console. She looks at Delphine, waiting for her to answer.
"Yes…. and no…" Delphine answers carefully. "I do not think, like… Nola for example, that I am going to suddenly fall madly in love within weeks of arriving at our final destination, and have a fairytale idyllic life on an alien planet we know very little about. I know there will be work, and many of us, probably almost all of us will pair off within three years. But love? Loneliness? Desire for children? Assumed compatibility? Sexual attraction? Social pressures? I am sure there will be a variety of reasons people pair off when they do, and with whomever they choose."
Cosima laughs at this. "Fair enough. I think, you're too analytical for that."
"What about you? Are you clinging to the dream? How they market this? Finding a partner and building a life with him? Outside of the marketing. You and I know both know this life… will be hard work. And we have jobs that… will be very busy." Delphine can only imagine what awaits them.
Cosima meets her with searching eyes and an unexpected silence.
"Cosima?"
"I lied on my form." Cosima admits after another minute passes.
"What?" Delphine shakes her head. What does that even mean?
"I'm not bisexual. I'm a lesbian. But…we're all tested and interviewed and ranked. And everybody I know who said lesbian or gay and didn't make the cut…for the last ship. So… I lied."
"Euhhh…." Delphine cannot quite stop the rushing thoughts to her head. How a homosexual woman would fare on a colony. It doesn't seem wise. Why would Cosima do that to herself? That data wasn't even in the archives. Wasn't recorded.
"What?"
"But you agreed to… help populate… " Delphine tries to be delicate. But as far as she knows that is clear. And the colonists were chosen partially with ease of procreation in mind. It didn't have to be costly that way.
Cosima smirks back. "I technically agreed to produce two living children for the colony. First, there's more than one way to accomplish the conception of those hypothetical children. And no doubt, there's more flexibility on the ground than in a written contract. Secondly, in a worst case scenario a well-timed one-off unprotected fuck could do that… like no lifetime commitment is required. We don't know what living conditions are really going to be. You know there's cryo storage here. Medical materials. Gametes. Stem cell lines… all kinds of things."
"Yes… There are. Such resources are going to be restricted." Delphine knows this. It was part of one of the informational brochures and the virtual training. Mentioned alongside policies on sexual relations, and the stasis cycles all passengers would be on.
"And who better to decide than the woman who has to prevent founder's effect?" Cosima shrugs with a sly smile.
"You?"
"My work is in genetics, and epigenetics, populations… Like I told you. That's what I studied. There are actually two of us. My friend Scott is the other one. Both nearsighted as hell. And he's… not that pretty. But we were both accepted. At least I think he's on this ship. He might be on the next one. He's the technician. I'm the PhD."
"Oh." Delphine thinks for a minute. "What if the one OBGYN with reproductive endocrinology training does not… agree with you?"
"Well… I mean…" Cosima makes a face. "I think I can be pretty persuasive. And if not… well, the gametes and stem cell lines… are stored in the genetics lab. Like the plans show cryogenics storage. It's just not accessible while the lab is integrated into this ship. I would be shipping it to him to use. Not the other way around."
"Isn't that… unwise? Wouldn't you need a doctor?" Delphine admits assisted reproduction is an area of expertise she does not have much experience in. She wouldn't be able to help Cosima there. She hasn't even been on a gynecological assignment since medical school. And she's never worked obstetrics at all.
"I think I could convince Sol to do the procedure, honestly. Sol said she had experience in well-woman care. Which suggests familiarity with a speculum and that's half the deal right there." Cosima says after a moment of reflection. "Why did you look up the doctor? Is he American?"
Delphine quickly takes a look and nods. "He is not… It looks like he is from New Zealand." There's not much information on the man, or his family. Other than their names and ages.
"OK." Cosima nods. "I think I can work with that."
And there's not much left to say on the subject.
"I… Hope that works out for you, Cosima." Delphine nods, and wonders how likely lying was. Certainly not every homoesexual person that applied was rejected. That doesn't make sense. It wasn't listed in any of the categories on ranking. It was just… biographical data. But perhaps, it did affect ranking as it would make procreation more challenging and costly. But some people must have scored high enough to compensate. Be useful in other ways.
"Me too. I don't really fancy option B." Cosima quips as she grimaces.
Delphine laughs. "Do not worry, ma poule, even if you did need to use… your backup plan. I assure you, it would be over very quickly. Less than five minutes." And Delphine doesn't doubt that someone would volunteer for that, though maybe not for the right reasons.
"Great." Cosima shudders.
"Do not worry. I think… I think it will work itself out." Delphine offers Cosima a hand.
"What now?"
"I think… We should go on a VR nature walk. Clear our heads of all this."
"Yeah. Yeah… you're probably right."
Delphine moves to leave the archives and Cosima is quick to follow her. The walk, which they opt to take in New Zealand scenery, is calming. Flat farmlands and lush forests. Cosima is as clever and amiable a companion as ever, and maybe that is another part of why they segregate the sexes. To shift the focus to having them form social bonds. Friendships. Community. Rather than mate selection right off the bat.
"I think… I will be happy to be on the surface." Delphine speaks after a few moments of looking around.
"Why's that?"
"I think as long as the colony is a concept to me, I am detached. As soon as it is physically in front of me. Tangible. I think… I think I will start to accept it."
"Accept what?"
"That this is my life. My whole life… will be this."
"Hey.. It'll be my life too. You… You won't be alone, Delphine. I… We are all in the same boat." Cosima lays a gentle hand against her arm. And it hits her, this is the first non-medical physical touch her body has had in years.
"I know." Delphine turns to look at Cosima, she cannot help smiling at her. "I won't be alone."