Chapter 1. Together

Content warning: occasional strong language.

It took a moment to insert the key into the front door of the little house in Brooklyn. Bucky looked behind him at the man whose hand was on his back. Horny bugger, twice already he had to tell him to wait until they were inside and he checked on his sister first. The door opened in the early dawn light and he stepped inside, turning on the light in the entryway.

"Take your shoes off," he said to the man.

What was his name again? Henri, a Frenchman in New York for Pride Week. He was hanging around the docks as Bucky came off the night shift, working the only other job he knew how to do, dock worker. In heavily accented English he asked Bucky for a light then smiled broadly when Bucky responded in perfect French that he didn't smoke anymore.

"Do you fuck?" the Frenchman asked, a cheeky smile on his face.

For a moment Bucky felt like plowing his gloved hand into the guy's face then he looked away before looking back and nodded. It had been a while and he needed the release. Now, as the guy was hurriedly taking his shoes off he was beginning to regret his answer.

"You have anything to drink?" asked Henri.

"Water," replied Bucky, filling a glass with tap water and placing it on the kitchen table, glaring at the guy as his irritation level rose.

"Bucky?" said a faint female voice. "Is that you?"

He looked towards the bedrooms. "Don't touch anything," he said to the Frenchman, and headed down the short hallway, opening the door to the biggest bedroom. It was dim inside and he turned on the bedside light. "Hey, I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"I wet the bed," said Rebecca, his 94 year old sister. "I've been awake a while."

"That's okay," he replied gently. "Let's get you into the tub and I'll change your bedding."

"I'm sorry," she said, beginning to cry. "I tried to hold it as long as I could and then the diaper just couldn't handle all of it."

"It's okay," he said again, in a soothing voice. "Let me get the tub started and I'll be right back."

He went to the bathroom and started the tub running then went to the kitchen.

"Sorry, you'll have to go," he said to Henri. "I have to help my sister." He noticed the Frenchman was looking at a picture of him and the Howling Commandos. "I told you not to touch anything. Now get out."

"You're him, aren't you?" said Henri. "The Winter Soldier, the killer."

Bucky was really irritated now. "Yeah, now get out," he said, more forcefully. "Put your shoes on, walk out my door and don't come back."

"Enculé," spat the Frenchman, as he headed towards the front door. "Like I want an old man to fuck me."

Bucky picked up one of the kitchen knives from the chopping block, throwing it into the door frame beside the Frenchman's head. "I meant to miss," he said. "Now get out."

Giving Bucky the finger Henri put his shoes on and went out the door slamming it shut. Bucky locked it from the inside, pulled the knife out of the door frame, and went back to the bathroom, turning the tap in the tub off. Then he went back to the bedroom and helped Rebecca sit on the edge of the bed, lifting her nightgown off, pulling off the wet adult diaper, and carrying her in his arms. He kept his eyes on her eyes the whole time, knowing this part embarrassed her but for him it was amends for not being there in her life for so long. He laid her in the warm water and handed her the face cloth and soap, kissing her on top of her head.

"You okay to clean yourself?" he asked kindly. "I can do your back when I come back."

"Yeah, thanks Bucky," she said. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," he replied, smiling at her.

Returning to her bedroom he stripped the sheets off and took them to the washer, setting it for a hot water wash. Then he went to the kitchen and filled a pail with hot soapy water. Taking a sponge and a towel with him he cleaned the waterproof mattress cover and dried it with the towel before putting clean bedding on. He raised the blinds, filling the room with the morning sun.

When the dust settled from the battle against Thanos and he turned himself in to the American authorities he never expected to find his sister still alive. But Steve, in the years after he was awakened from his icy sleep, had sought out Bucky's parents, locating their graves in Green-wood Cemetery in Brooklyn. Then he found Rebecca, widowed, childless but still living on her own in a tiny house in one of the rougher areas of the borough. Steve helped her but before he left he told Bucky where to find her. After getting his pardon he moved in with her and had looked after her especially since her stroke removed her ability to walk. Her mind was still good and they talked often about when they were kids. She only asked him once about being the Winter Soldier, then cried with him when he admitted what they did to him. In the year since her stroke he worked the night shift on the dock, earning enough to pay the taxes and utilities on the house while his army pension and her senior's pension paid for everything else. Money was tight but they managed. He slept during the day while she napped.

"I'm coming in," he said outside the bathroom door, stepping quickly towards the bath.

She handed him the facecloth and soap, and he cleaned her back, then gently rinsed her off. He pulled the plug and brought the bath seat over next to the tub, lifting her up to a standing position then wrapped her in the big bath sheet that covered her up completely before transferring her to the seat. As he dried her off she studied his still handsome face.

"Are you gay?" she asked. "I heard what that man said to you."

"No," he replied, not happy that she heard the conversation. "It's just easier to have sex with a man. I don't need to expend any effort into making a connection and they don't stay. He was an asshole. No big loss."

"You're lonely," she stated. "I remember how you always had a date on Friday and Saturday night."

He smiled as he dried her feet, thinking he needed to cut her toenails soon. "Times change," he said. "Women are different now. I've changed. I'm not the same man anymore."

"Still, there has to be someone, somewhere for you," she said. "We could sell the house and I could go into a nursing home. Then you'd be free to live your own life."

He stopped what he was doing and looked into his sister's eyes. "No, I'll look after you," he said firmly. "You're my only family and I need you."

Her hand came up to his face and he kissed the palm then looked at her wrinkled face with sad eyes. All those years stolen from them. Maybe he should have returned with Steve, been there with his parents when they died, been there for Rebecca's wedding. Then he looked at the vibranium hand and knew it wouldn't have been possible. He was too broken to fit in then just like he was too broken to fit in now. This time she kissed his hand and smiled sadly at him.

"Aren't we a pair?"

Picking her up he carried her to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed, then took out a new pull up adult diaper and put it on her. Sitting her up he put the camisole top on over her head and arms, then put a brightly coloured ladies top on her. She had several pairs of pull on pants and chose the brightest pair. Lifting her lifeless legs into each leg of the pants he supported her as he held her standing with one arm, using the other to finish pulling the pants up. Then he fastened her sandals on, brushed her hair and lifted her again in his arms, carrying her out to an armchair in the living room. He turned the TV on to the morning news.

"What can I make you for breakfast?" he asked from the kitchen.

"Whatever you make for yourself," she said. "Just not as much as you eat."

She giggled after, still not used to how much he could eat at one sitting. He came out with scrambled eggs, toast and orange juice, placing it on the TV table that he pulled in front of her chair. A minute later he returned with his plate, loaded high with bacon, eggs and toast. Together they watched the morning news as they ate, commenting on the various events that happened over night. Afterwards Bucky took the dishes to the kitchen, washing, drying and putting them away. Rebecca had fallen asleep sitting up so Bucky laid on the couch and closed his eyes hoping to catch an hour or two of sleep before his sister would jerk herself awake.

The sound of the doorbell woke both of them up a couple of hours later and Bucky went to the door, looking through the small cutout window in the door to see an attractive dark haired woman. He opened the door and looked expectantly at her.

"Is this the home of Rebecca Proctor?" she asked. "I'm Tracey Harris, the public health nurse. Dr. Webb suggested I make a home visit to assess Mrs. Proctor's overall health."

"Oh, sure, come in," said Bucky, stepping back. "Rebecca, it's the public health nurse. Dr. Webb sent her."

Tracey followed Bucky into the tiny living room, offering Rebecca her hand to shake. She looked at Bucky.

"You're her son?" she asked Bucky.

"No, I'm her older brother," he said, with a straight face. "You may have heard of me, Bucky Barnes."

Tracey's face was blank at first then she coloured. "I beg your pardon," she said. "Dr. Webb didn't say anything about that. You definitely don't look as old as they say you are."

"I feel it sometimes," he replied. "Still getting used to the cultural differences."

She smiled and turned her attention to Rebecca. "Dr. Webb requested a regular visit by a home nurse to assess your overall health," she said. "I was assigned to your case. I'll make a weekly visit, check your blood pressure, assess your emotional and mental state then confirm that you're being looked after adequately. Do you have a caregiver that comes in?"

"No, Bucky looks after me," replied Rebecca. "He cooks, cleans, helps me dress and takes care of me. He does it all."

"Do you work, Mr. Barnes?" she asked.

"Bucky is fine," he said. "I work the night shift at the docks. I sleep when Rebecca naps during the day. As a super soldier I have greater tolerance for lack of sleep but I get enough. I've been looking after her for a year now."

"What about overnight?" she asked. "Do you have someone that stays the night?"

"No, I don't make enough to hire someone," he said, his face flushing a little. "It hasn't been a problem."

She smiled grimly. "I'm afraid it might become one," she replied. "I can see that the house is clean and you obviously care about your sister but with her age and infirmity I'm afraid leaving her alone at night isn't really an option any more. I'm sorry but Dr. Webb is considering requesting the courts take over responsibility for your sister to put her into a nursing home."

"They can't do that, can they?" he asked, feeling a little panicked.

"Well, let's check your sister out and I'll see what programs or funding you may be able to access to keep her living in her home," she replied.

She took out a blood pressure cuff and checked Rebecca's blood pressure, then measured her blood oxygen levels by placing a small device on her finger. It also counted her heart rate. Taking out a stethoscope she listened to the old woman's heart and lungs. Placing her hands in Rebecca's she asked her to squeeze her hands then asked if she was able to pull herself to a standing position. Next she asked Rebecca her birthdate, what date it was today, who was President, where she lived and a series of other questions that gave her an indication of Rebecca's mental state. Finally she reached inside her case and brought out several sheets listing benefits for seniors.

"I'm generally pleased with your health," she said. "How often do you get physiotherapy?"

"I don't," replied Rebecca, looking up at Bucky. "It was never suggested."

"We'll look into that," said Tracey. "I think you would benefit from it as it will strengthen your muscles. There are several programs here that you might qualify for that would provide extra care for you. I could help you fill out the forms and submit them to the proper authorities. They would likely want to do their own assessment of you before making a decision. Personally, I think your brother is taking very good care of you. But leaving you alone overnight is really not acceptable. Is there no one, a family friend, for example who can stay the night while your brother works?"

"My friends are all dead," said Rebecca. "Bucky only has a few friends but they're not in the area."

"Bucky, do you work tonight?" asked Tracy.

"Yes, but I'm off Saturday and Sunday night," he said. "I could put a notice in the volunteer centre asking for a volunteer until we get funding for her. Would that be acceptable?"

"Well, it's better than no one and the volunteer centre does require a police check on their volunteers," she replied. "Let's do that and hope we get someone right away. Let's fill these forms out for funding."

It took about an hour to fill in the various forms for funding then she helped Bucky make the notice for the volunteer centre, saying she could drop it off on her way back to her office.

"What about tonight?" he asked, his face full of concern. "We need every penny that I earn to pay the bills. I can't afford to stay home."

"Listen, I can help tonight," she said. "Just this once. You seem to really love and care for your sister. That's a big benefit to her mental health and I will do what I can to help her stay home where she's comfortable. Can I ask you something personal?" He nodded. "I thought when you and Captain America helped finish the Flag Smashers threat that the Avengers were starting up again. What happened with that?"

Bucky looked away for a moment. "The funding didn't come through," he said. "I needed a job and had worked the docks during the Depression and before World War II. It hasn't changed so much so I got hired on. Then Rebecca had her stroke and I switched to the night shift so I could be here during the day for her. I have a claim in for back pay while I was a captive but army bureaucracy takes its time."

The young woman smiled sympathetically and Bucky found himself taken by her soft brown eyes. She was certainly nice enough to help them find funding. As she gathered her things together he waited then walked her out to the front steps.

"What time do you have to be at the docks?" she asked.

"I have to be there for 10 pm," he said, "so I leave here about 9:30. I work until 6 am, unless there's overtime."

"Is there a chance you can get on the day shift?" she asked. "There might be a better chance of getting a volunteer to be with your sister during the day."

"I don't think there's any openings for day shift right now, but I'll check," he said. "I get higher pay for the night shift so …."

"Right," she said. "Alright, I'll be here before 9:30 tonight. It was nice to meet you both."

They shook hands and he watched as she walked to her car and drove off. When he returned back inside Rebecca was looking out the window and he noticed tears on her face. Kneeling in front of her he took a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed at her cheeks.

"What are the tears for?" he asked gently.

"For being such a nuisance," she said, her voice breaking. "You shouldn't have to put your life on hold to look after me."

"I do it because I want to," he insisted. "Whatever time you have left is time I want to spend with you. I won't put you in a home because this is home, with me. You understand? I'm with you because I choose to be."

He put his arms around his sister and held her until her sobs subsided. Somehow, he would find a way to keep her in the house. Picking her up he carried her outside to the back yard and sat her down in a lawn chair. Opening the shed he pulled out the lawn mower and started it up, mowing the small patch of grass, then raking it up and transferring it into a garbage bag, leaving it beside the gate so that it could be put out on garbage pick up day. Using the small garden shears he cut some flowers off the annuals he planted in the spring and gave them to Rebecca to hold while he put the shears and mower back in the shed. Picking her up again he carried her into the house when she said she had to go to the bathroom. After helping her with that he placed her in the living room. The flowers were put into a vase and put beside her then he began making lunch for both of them. As she became drowsy after lunch he carried her to bed, laying her on top and kissing her forehead. While she slept, he did the same, needing only a couple of hours. By the time Tracey returned at 9:15 he had Rebecca ready for the night. They made sure she went to the bathroom first and he tucked her in under the covers of her bed.

"You going to read me a bedtime story?" she joked.

"You better believe it," he said. "What would you like to hear?"

"Go The Fuck To Sleep," she laughed.

"Not funny," he said sternly. "How about Love You Forever?"

"Oh Bucky, you know that makes me cry," she said.

"I know but it's how I feel about you," he replied, with a little catch in his voice.

Tracey watched from the doorway, taken by his gentle manner with his sister. Giving them some privacy she could hear his soft voice reading to his sister and then him comforting her when she did cry. He came out after and closed her door then stood in the living room, in his jeans, steel toed boots, short sleeve T-shirt over a long sleeve one and leather gloves on his hands. Tracey watched as he pulled on a black zip up hoodie.

"She might wake up about 2 am to go to the bathroom again," he said. "I usually leave a snack of crackers and cheese for her as well but since you're here you can take it in to her. I was 13 when she was born and I looked after her then when our Ma was busy. She's the only blood family I have. I know she doesn't have long but I just want to be with her for as long as she has. Thank you for staying the night with her. I do appreciate it."

"You're welcome," replied Tracey. "I can see you love her very much. I'll do what I can to help you keep her here."

Bucky nodded his head and left, taking off at a run towards the docks. After locking the door Tracey looked at the book shelf, seeing the picture of the Howling Commandos with a younger Bucky prominently featured alongside the former Captain America. She checked out the titles of Bucky's books, smiling at the number of fantasy classics. There were also books on history, science; Carl Sagan's Cosmos was there, as was Stephen Hawking's The Theory of Everything, along with some self help books on anxiety. It was obvious he was trying to learn much of what he had missed when he was under HYDRA's control and part of her admired him for that.

Then she shook her head, somewhat perturbed at the staff at the volunteer centre. They posted his notice but when they found out who it was for they questioned why they should provide a volunteer for a man who had been a killer. Even though she explained it was for an elderly woman in his care they still had not been happy about it. A thought occurred to her and she picked up her cell phone. It was a long shot but they had volunteered before to help look after multiple birth babies so the parents could get through the nights. She dialled the number and hoped someone was still in the office even though it was late.

"Hi, this is Tracey Harris," she said to the person who answered. "I'm a public health nurse with a need for some volunteers to help look after an elderly woman over night. I was hoping you might have some people willing to donate their time."

She gave them full disclosure on who the woman was and why the help was needed. Surprisingly they were open to it and promised to put it on their website immediately. After thanking them she hung up and hoped that Bucky would be open to having refugee or immigrant newcomers help look after Rebecca. A pillow and blanket had been left on the sofa for her so she turned off all of the lights except for a small light in the living room and laid underneath the blanket, listening to the sounds of the house. Eventually, she closed her eyes and slept until she heard Rebecca call for her in the night. Lifting her out of her bed, she put her in the wheelchair that Bucky had been able to buy for her and wheeled her to the bathroom. Transferring her to the toilet she waited outside the bathroom until Rebecca said she was done. Her adult diaper was still dry so it was pulled up and Tracey transferred her back to the wheelchair then into the bedroom. She brought her snack to her and they talked while the older woman ate.

"Are you married?" asked Rebecca.

"I was," replied Tracey. "He worked out of town a lot and eventually found an out of town girlfriend who became his wife. That's when I went back to school to get my nursing degree."

"Children?" Tracey shook her head.

"How did it feel to be reunited with your brother after so many years?" asked Tracey.

"I always felt he was alive," said Rebecca. "Then Steve Rogers found me and he told me who Bucky became. Steve promised to help him. I wasn't happy he left him here but Bucky said Steve did ask him to go back with him. Bucky didn't want to leave me alone. He was always a good brother and he still is. Do you think you can help me write my will? I want to leave Bucky the house as he really doesn't have anything. At least he can sell it and start over when I'm gone."

"Sure, I can find someone who can do it for free," said Tracey.

There was quiet between them as Rebecca ate one of her crackers. "You know he fought them, always," said the old woman. "He resisted what they made him do, every time, but they hurt him, deeply. It changed him inside, made him quieter, shyer, and less trusting. If people only knew that they wouldn't keep calling him a killer."

"I don't think he's a killer," said Tracey, "but I know what you mean. He doesn't have many friends, does he?"

"Just Sam and his family, and Joaquin. He's a sweet boy," said Rebecca. "I wish they had been able to get the Avengers going again. It would have given Bucky a higher purpose." The old woman looked at Tracey. "Would you be his friend? Watch out for him, especially when I'm gone?"

"I'll try," replied Tracey. "He's a very private man and he might not let me get closer."

Rebecca nodded, finished her last cracker and laid back down. Tracey smoothed the crumbs away and tucked the old woman in, then turned out the light and closed the bedroom door. She laid down on the couch again and didn't wake up until Bucky's key was put into the lock. Seeing him come in made her feel good, safe even. His soft smile went well with his blue eyes that seemed to look deeply into her. After telling him about the other agency she contacted for help he thanked her again and walked outside with her in the early morning light. He took his right glove off and shook her hand, then looked kindly at her before closing her car door for her and watching as she drove away.

Enculé – French insult used for cocksucker / motherfucker and other similar expressions.