She begins looking for Delphine as soon as she comes out. She pays too close attention to the other people being thawed. She listens intently, for a word of French, or Delphine's voice. Surely Delphine will be thawed around the same time. They seem to be on the same schedule. Thankfully Dr. Singh had quickly cleared her for release. And Cosima had rushed off, as quickly as her tired limbs would let her.
She makes her way back to the bunkroom, with Sol close behind her.
"Hey did you see Delphine?" Cosima cannot resist asking.
"No luck there." Sol tells her. "But I am sure Delphine will show up. She took an extra day last time."
"I remember." Cosima is sleepy, and quickly crawls into her own bunk. She has to surrender to the effects of… whatever medication this is. Delphine's is open and empty. And she will be here soon. Cosima tells herself. She lets the sleeping medication do its work and she sleeps off the cryo until she stirs.
She wakes and is eager to check Delphine's bunk. Hopeful to find a familiar head of dyed blonde curls. But finds it empty, the curtain still open and sheets undisturbed. There's not even a scent of Delphine. Everything is too freshly washed, prepared for their wake cycle.
"Second last one." Eden hops down from her bunk, shouting the reminder. It is true, there is only one more wake cycle remaining. "Can't find your girlfriend?"
The word surprises Cosima, but only for a moment. It's not like it wasn't essentially true anyway. It's not something she and Delphine had discussed. Everything remained unsaid, at least in terms of relationship status.
"No… It looks like Delphine's not done yet. I guess… I guess I'll eat and wait like last time."
"Want company?" Eden offers. "Sol? Cosima?"
Sol nods, and Cosima goes along. Sitting around waiting for Delphine hadn't helped last time. And she was hungry. She follows along and eats.
"Aren't you concerned how you and Delphine will go over after landing?" Eden asks.
"You know what? I'm not. Like… what are they going to do?" Cosima throws up her arms in a shrug. As far as she was concerned, once she and Delphine were together there wasn't really much anyone could do about it.
Sol considers between bites of what looks suspiciously like porridge. "They could make it difficult to get family housing. Or insist on treating you and Delphine as two separate households. Bureaucratic hell."
"I guess.." Cosima tilts her head. That was a possibility. But how long could they really hold out?
"The housing is modular. I was talking to Nola and Emery… and they both said it's modular. Can be expanded as needed, all pieces are interchangeable. Our future homes are stored in pieces in the biggest cargo hold." Eden pauses. "I think that means it can be expanded or contracted. And even the parts of two homes could be combined, somehow."
"What about the midwifery clinic?"
"We will have a clinic. I think it's modular, but stored with the labs… probably other pieces are with the housing." Eden considers. "Do you remember, Sol?"
"I know we'll have six examination rooms… More than we need with only four of us. But there are three more midwives on the second ship." Sol speaks, considering her breakfast. "I think they're going to induce menstruation in us again."
"What? Why?"
"Probably to eliminate uterine build-up. I don't know." Sol pauses. "But why would they want us all on the same cycle? Sounds like a disaster if people get pregnant. I do not want to do four births in a matter of days."
"Maybe it's just in-transit?" Eden theorizes. "And they'll induce menstruation once upon arrival and then let… well nature take its course."
"I really hope not." Cosima sniffs her porridge suspiciously. It was atypical. But who knows. Maybe they were just trying something?
"I do wonder how housing will work." Sol wonders aloud. "I think there will be barracks. I know they said temporary housing at first, it's likely to be communal. And then housing as we establish households. Really. I think they should give women houses and when they find a suitable mate, he can join them."
"It'll be couples." Cosima thinks. "They won't want the psychology of you moving into someone else's space. No one likes that." She assumes whoever is organizing housing can be convinced, or bribed to just sign her and Delphine up as a household. But maybe it would be harder than expected. She thinks Delphine will agree. Is fairly certain of it now. But it was still decades away. There would be at least one more wake cycle.
"Hmmm." Sol hums thoughtfully. She runs a hand through her hair, which has grown, but only slightly. It is wiry and dark, and Cosima wonders vaguely what the plan is to cut their hair. She is fairly certain no hairdressers or estheticians were on board.
Eden looks over. "Either way, you'll be OK."
"Yeah I guess. But… homophobia is just ridiculous. Who cares? So what we cannot easily breed. Big deal." Cosima knows enough to understand the colony can accommodate them. It's not like same sex couples would be numerous. At least in the first generation.
"Except easy breeding is what they want. And you cannot give them that.." Sol reminds them both. "So…there will probably be some pushback. But I will support you."
"We all will… well maybe not Priya as much." Eden mumbles. "But it doesn't matter."
"You kidding? She'll be so happy to have Micah back she won't even notice!" Sol shakes her head. "I did see Priya and Celia. Both passed out. Delphine should be out soon."
Cosima laughs, presuming that in one way at least, that is true. Priya's reunion with Micah is likely to leave her consumed and distracted. She may not even care what she and Delphine do if she gets to be with her husband.
"You could always form some kind of…triad." Eden thinks aloud. "I mean, I don't think they're that socially conservative."
"Probably not." Sol acknowledges. "As long as you contribute genetically to the colony and breed they probably don't care who you have sex with."
"No!" Cosima makes a face. "My file says bisexual. But I assure you, it is an over exaggeration." She suspects she knows how she got away with that lie. But if they were stupid enough to assume that meant anything that was their problem. Not hers.
"How much of an exaggeration?" Eden asks while Sol rolls her eyes.
"Uhh like… I dated a guy in my late teens… for like six or seven months. That is as serious as things got with a man. After I had my first girlfriend and that… disaster." That is a story Cosima won't be getting to in detail. Not with Sol and Eden anyway. Maybe with Delphine.
"And you think that… history is why you got away with it?" Sol proposes. "How would they even know?"
"Uhh because I applied to access contraceptives? As required by Californian law?" Cosima hadn't been dumb about that. Even if it had been a hassle. Trip to a sexual health clinic. Referral. Prescription. Follow-up. All in a brief semi-deluded effort to not be a dirty lesbian. Even if Gene and Sally Niehaus didn't care, plenty of other people did.
Eden puts a strawberry into her mouth. "What kind?"
"Uhh initially just condoms, and then within three weeks an IUD. Hormonal." Cosima shrugs. "It's what… they gave everybody basically. Long acting. And then it took… oh three years before I could convince a doctor to pull it out." So much hassle for what ended up being a few months of really mediocre unsatisfying sex. The end result of which involved admitting to herself that she was homosexual, not bisexual. And certainly not straight.
"So there's a record of that." Sol recalls. "The sexual health clinics keep records of patients. Prescriptions."
"Yes. There's a record of that." Cosima nods. It probably worked in her favour.
Eden looks over the table. "You… could have asked most midwives to pull it out for you."
"But you can't." Cosima objects. "Plus… I have never been pregnant…so no midwives were required. Though my mom saw one for well-woman care."
"Legally? No… unless it's causing the woman discomfort. Then we can." Eden shrugs. "We just have to justify it. And record it."
Sol nods. "Long acting and doctor-removal required is what they prefer… less individual control over reproduction. But… exceptions can be made. But only for medical reasons. In the United States anyway… different countries have different rules. I think a lot of places in Europe don't insist unless you have unplanned pregnancies."
"Yes. Well… it was cool not having a period. Until it wasn't. Could have done without the random bleeding too." Cosima recalls. She also could have done with Joel, his man sweat and the rest of it.
"And the guy?" Eden seems more curious at the moment, so Cosima answers her.
"His name was Joel. He went to university with me. We played…board games together. Stuff like that. And smoked pot. He was cool I guess. I liked him more before our clothes came off." Cosima shrugs. She remembers a few things about Joel. Not least of all how much she did not enjoy their intimate moments.
"He's long dead now." Sol shakes her head.
"No actually… He uhh… got on another colony ship. The last one before the Leda bound ships." Cosima stops herself before internal calculations catch up. "No, that was still… 70 something years ago. He's…possibly dead. You're right."
"It's trippy." Eden tells her. "I left my boyfriend behind. Chase. I liked him. A lot… but… I made the cut and he didn't."
"How did that go?" Sol asks softly.
"I mean, he was mad I chose to go without him. There was nothing wrong with him, he just didn't make the cut. I didn't want to leave any earlier than I had to, but it ended our 4 year relationship overnight. So I left him and our apartment, then a month later… left for extra training."
Sol nods slowly. "He may have tried again."
"No one is ever asked to reapply. Except Delphine ." Cosima smiles at the thought. It feels like only a day or two ago she was tangled up in Delphine's limbs in her bunk. Delphine moaning at her. Delphine clinging to her. Delphine's hands moving eagerly over her body.
"Delphine." Sol echoes. "You want to check the bunkroom again, don't you?"
"Yes." Cosima nods, and she cannot hide her enthusiasm. Even as she clears her dishes and rushes away. Her device chirps about lab work and kitchen duty. But she won't be distracted.
She sees a few women in the halls, most looking tired, as if they'd just come from the cryo labs.
Maybe Delphine would be done now. She rushes back to the bunkroom. The curtains on both Priya and Celia's bunks are closed. The occupants were breathing softly.
Cosima pauses by the lockers. She inserts her nose ring back into place. And looks at the pile of clean clothes. Always the same. But there's no lock. Cosima thinks, and Delphine's locker is ajar. She opens it, just to see if anything has been disturbed. But it's empty. There is no clothing set aside for Delphine's use. No small personal effects. Nothing.
And it's terrifying. Delphine isn't in her bunk. The name plates are still present. Delphine M. Cormier . The possibility Delphine didn't survive the reanimation process trickles into her mind and Cosima cannot stand it. Would they just empty Delphine's locker like that? Wouldn't that induce panic in the other passengers?
"Delphine's locker is empty." Are the only words she speaks when Eden and Sol return, who look worriedly at each other.
Celia and Priya wake up, and while they speculate quietly on Delphine. The general consensus is Delphine is either dead, or has been moved to the other women's wake cycle. A punishment? Cosima wonders. Is that all this is?
She waits two days, sleeping and eating but pacing and constantly going back to the cryo labs, looking for a sign of Delphine. Any sign. Fifteen more passengers are thawed and Delphine isn't among them. None of them have seen her.
Her device prompts her to work, but she doesn't want to. Eventually she goes to the lab. She finds her modifications have been thoroughly purged. Though records of her test simulations are still present.
She runs a new random simulation. One that she thinks they will accept. Delphine shows up. Cosima notes. Delphine still shows up as a passenger, her DNA is available for her interactive what-if scenarios. Nothing has changed there. The system prevents her from making another upgrade. But Cosima runs five more realistic scenarios, and guesses she should probably write her recommendation reports for the colony.
Sol sits with her at lunch. Saying nothing. Just being there. And Cosima is certain Sol has the emotional intelligence for her job.
"It is OK to not be OK." Sol says finally after days of Cosima sulking.
"I am fine. Totally OK." Cosima brushes off the concern. She isn't going to let this break her. And doesn't want to look as deeply affected as she is.
"You're not."
"Well… You know I am wondering if my girlfriend is dead. And why the hell the stupid devices cannot answer it. I've asked it. If Dr. Delphine Cormier is dead. For a list of deceased passengers. Her device yielded nothing, but at least hasn't suggested erotic holonovels. But that too makes her think of Delphine. Of the breakfasts they'd shared, of the jokes they'd made about the soft-core porn Delphine's device suggested to her.
"She may not be dead." Sol insists. "I think it's possible. Especially with her history of cryo issues. But… it's not guaranteed."
"She's probably dead. Or … best case scenario? In the other group." Cosima thinks that scenario isn't so bad. "I mean, then I would see her on the surface. It's only… what? 25 more years? Tops."
"Just… let it be." Sol shrugs. "And trust me. We are all keeping an eye out. A passenger disappears mid-flight? We all want to know what happened to Delphine."
"Just not as much as me." Cosima sighs. The words fall from her lips without pretence.
"No one as much as you."
"N'arrête pas… Comme ça." Delphine clings to her shoulders. And Cosima finds herself humming eagerly into her lover. Her knees are on the cold floor, but she knows she can be fast. Knows how to get Delphine to come pretty quickly now. Not that she's rushing. Delphine squeaks and lets out the first breathy cry. Cosima works her lover with lips and tongue, feeling more enamoured and addicted by the moment. Delphine's breathy cries fill the cavernous room. And she cannot get enough. And it was more private than the bunks. Getting Delphine to mutter or instruct her in French was a new goal. She liked what it implied - a loss of control.
"So…?" Cosima leans back, releasing her. The observation lounge was quiet as per usual. And it was perfect. At least for now.
"It… keeps getting better if anything." Delphine sighs, her eyes closing. A goofy smile on her face.
"Good." Cosima smirks and leans in. "I don't want to disappoint you. Especially this early."
"You won't. That… is not possible." Delphine's eyes stay shut, and she clings to her.
"So… not a dirty lesbian thing?" Cosima teases. The last couple weeks she'd done this as often as Delphine would let her. Which turned out to be almost daily, but Delphine wouldn't let her eat her in the bunkroom. But she would eventually, Cosima thought. The idea of Delphine, her hand in her mouth, trying to muffle her noises was one that appealed immensely.
Delphine's eyes open slowly. "No. Cunnilingus is not a dirty lesbian thing. I was wrong. It is… wonderful. Mostly... Because you seem like you love it too."
"I do. I really do." Cosima leans in for a kiss, and she is kissed. Delphine's arms go around her, her soft skin presses against her. And she wonders how this will go once they land. Surely, Delphine won't throw this away. They are so connected. There's something special here.
"I'm falling for you." Delphine murmurs at her. "I didn't mean to, but… Cosima. I cannot help myself. Je t'aime…"
And it's not the first time Delphine has said it, not the first time she saw the depth of her own feeling reflected in Delphine's gaze. And not even just in bed, Cosima thinks. It was the same walking hand in hand to lunch. Or during a VR adventure.
"So are you considering my… proposal?" Cosima wonders if there's a less marital way to phrase it. And she wonders if she should slow down. If she should not demand anything of Delphine until they land.
"I love you too." Cosima smiles and she feels it. They curl together in the oversized chair. Enjoying the view of the stars. Delphine's hand strokes her skin, and she thinks they're not quite done. Not once Delphine finishes catching her breath.
"I wonder if there's a section in the ship without gravity…" Delphine muses. "I wonder what it would be like to be weightless."
"What? You want to float around naked with me?" Cosima jokes. She could go for it though. As long as there was some way to get down and back to an exit. Stuck naked and floating in some remote part of the ship was probably a lot less sexy than it sounds.
An annoying chirp from the floor disturbs them.
"Physicals." Cosima glances quickly. "Ugh. We're both scheduled with Dr. Leekie. Back to back."
"Oh no…" Delphine whines. The moment was broken. "I do not want to see him again."
"Yeah he's going to say something. You know they're watching us."
"Not watching. Monitoring is more likely. There's no way they can observe everything. Just…gather data." Delphine sighs, leaning into her neck and resting against her skin.
"We should hit the showers then…" Cosima grumbles. She has no intention of showing up for her physical with Delphine all over her face. No doubt they already know.
"We have a little time." And Delphine begins to touch her, stroking her to a perfect orgasm. Her hands are increasingly well practised, increasingly skilled. And Delphine has always been eager. And looking into Delphine's eyes isn't hurting either. Cosima lets herself make noise, lets her cries fill the room. Who cares who is watching them.
She isn't expecting much of anything. She exercises. She eats. She works on her stupid report for the stupid colony governance committee. She makes a series of recommendations for cautious but largely free procreation - for first marriages/partnerships. She suggests limiting procreation in subsequent relationships. Her document is fairly brief, six and a half pages. And she submits it for consideration on landing. It hadn't taken that long.
It's dull. And she misses Delphine. Worse at night. She crawls into Delphine's empty bunk and sleeps there. But it's been left empty so long it no longer smells anything like Delphine. Just the near-scentless detergent they use on all linens and clothing.
"You are literally growling at people." Celia tells her after dinner on the fourth day. And Cosima doesn't argue.
"Yeah. Sorry." Cosima sighs. "I know it's not anyone else's fault." She misses Delphine. More than she wants to admit. She'd gotten ahead of herself. Began picturing a future with Delphine. Hell she'd hacked the stupid virtual poplation simulator just to make a point. It had worked, Cosima thinks. The way Delphine had stroked her face after, had kissed her, had taken her on the couch. It had felt like a ringing endorsement.
"You yelled at Nola." Celia points out. "In the kitchen. While making salsa. I think you're… having some misplaced rage right now. You've gone too far."
"Nola is really annoying." Cosima shakes her head. Nola still bought in, hook, line and sinker. About a fourth of the passengers did. As near as Cosima could figure without doing a formal survey she is certain conducting would give her more than a slap on the wrist on arrival. Another two thirds had qualms but realized either way they were stuck with whatever was coming. And then the last fourth, like her, had serious reservations.
"Nola is still only 22. How annoying were you at 22?" Celia challenges her. "Also, not pissing off one of the people responsible for our food supply would be wise. Last thing you want is getting the last choice of vegetables."
"Right… Right…" Cosima pauses. "How do we decide how old any of us are? They aren't giving us calendars. We… have existed for far longer because of cryostasis."
"I don't think it matters." Celia considers this. "I'd add a year to my age on departure to feel…more accurate. And then just… go with that. Age one year at a time."
Cosima nods. "I think I'll probably do the same."
"You have to accept that Delphine is…gone. Or at least… gone for now. You know, it's possible they decided to keep her in cryo due to her complications. She may not be dead. The risk of longer term cryo is …what it is." Celia says quietly. "If you want company, we can go play some VR games or something. If you want space… well… you know where the observation lounge is."
Cosima finds herself hesitating around the ladder to the observation deck. She could take the lift. She knows she could. But this is the way she went when she was with Delphine. So she climbs in semi-darkness. Legs easily finding the rungs of the ladder as she goes. Maybe she can count this as cardio. It's harder for her to reach the release on the hatch, but she manages it, and side steps out into the observation lounge.
It is as beautiful as ever, Cosima thinks, emerging to view the large plexi-glass windows. Floor to ceiling to allow a view of space. It is also empty. But she can recall making love to Delphine here, they'd done it on a handful of chairs right near the window. Remembers her cries echoing in the cavernous space.
Cosima sits quietly. She wonders briefly if the chair still smells like Delphine. But it doesn't. Whatever cleaning and the last 15 years had been enough to take it away. It had been so short, her love affair with Delphine. Cryostasis was supposed to have a very low fail rate. Deaths were rare. Even Delphine's slow to come out of torpor issues shouldn't have been a problem. Not if the doctors were competent. She quickly discounts the possibility of foul play, Delphine was too valuable as the pathologist. Either she was dead, or they had been separated. No doubt a first for in-transit. And there was nothing she could do about it.
She cries. Cosima sinks lower onto the floor. She won't have a memorial for Delphine. Not yet. But she will grieve for her. She has to. A low buzzing sound breaks the silence in the lounge. It sounds like the lift - a sound she and Delphine had never heard in all their misuse of public space.
The lift stops at the lounge and Cosima stops, frozen. She hunches over, hiding behind a chair. The same oversized chair she'd last tasted Delphine in. A chair that should be thoroughly stained, Cosima thinks. A chair they'd made love in continually, even moving it closer to the window to improve the view. At least it remained in its new location.
"Lights. Half-illumination." A familiar voice calls out. Dim lighting illuminates above her head. And Cosima wonders if she's imagining things. If there's another Frenchwoman on board, maybe one of the crew.
Cosima stands up. And finally she sees Delphine, light from the lift illuminating her from behind. She pulls off what looks like a lab coat. She's clothed in the same blue-grey fabric. Her hair pulled back from her face. And it doesn't make sense. None of it does.
"Where? What? Delphine?" Cosima squeaks out the words. She sees Delphine moving rapidly towards her, and her brain struggles to catch up.
"Cosima!" Delphine calls her name, and rushes over. She doesn't think, she lets Delphine kiss her. Lets Delphine grab desperately at her body as she gathers her in her arms. Delphine clutches her tightly for a moment Cosima's brain stops, briefly short-circuiting. Delphine's tongue quickly invades her mouth and she doesn't think. Within minutes, Delphine pulls back to look at her, hands smoothing over her body through fabric.
"What?" Cosima shakes her head when they part. "Delphine?"
"Oh Cosima…" Delphine bites her lip when they break the kiss. And then swiftly kisses her again. Cosima finds the kiss a little too desperate. A little too much. Maybe even enraging considering Delphine's disappearing act. She firmly pushes Delphine back by the shoulders.
"Wait… Stop. I thought you were dead!" Cosima spits the words out, she shakes her head.
Her lover's face falls, but she quickly responds. "I'm alive. I am so sorry, Cosima. I was in the medical lab…. I…came as soon as I could." Delphine whispers at her. And it doesn't make any sense.
"Delphine? What the hell happened? I have been up for four days. And you were just gone. Your locker was empty… I thought you were dead . Seriously. I… I had no idea what happened. Like…how? How could you do that to me?"
"It was. I am so sorry. I… I meant to be there as soon as you woke up. I assure you, my thawing went normally last time." Delphine is sincere in her apology. Her hands reaching for her gently, Cosima shakes them off. Now is not the time to get distracted by that. Not when she needs answers.
"Where were you? What do you mean last time ?" Cosima is unable to keep the annoyance from her voice.
"I told you. I was in the medical lab. I… I have been up for a while." Delphine tells her slowly. "I was stuck doing crew physicals and it took two days before I realized you'd even been revived. And then another day before I finished the stupid physicals… I still don't have written permission to enter the passenger habitat. I requested it yesterday. But… they track you. With this." Delphine points towards Cosima's device. And then a similarly shaped one in her own pocket.
"So…?"
"I saw you heading towards the observation lounge, which I can enter without specialized clearance. So…" Delphine smiles, and the relief on her face is palpable. "I rushed here as quickly as I could."
"So you came to meet me. You've been in the crew quarters? Or just…medical lab?" Cosima tries to put it together. Delphine had been in the medical lab. But as a doctor? For how long? And why? Some alien pathogen emergency? Like something out of science fiction?
"Yes. I couldn't wait a moment longer." Delphine leans in and kisses her again, her body relaxes against her. But Cosima remains tense. What the hell was going on?
"What did you do? How long? Why?" Cosima looks at Delphine's face. It's faint. But the lines around her eyes are maybe a little more prominent. Her hair is more light brown than she remembers, the blonde has grown out and faded. Something… something is off. Delphine is…older?
"Cosima…" Delphine whispers softly. "I am a doctor… It was part of my contract."
"What? Spend part of the voyage awake and aging without me? When did you decide this was a good idea?" Cosima moves backwards away from the chair. She begins to pace. Unsure of what to do with this. Why on earth would they write that into anyone's contract? Particularly the women who had to be below a certain age.
"Non… It is part of my contract. They can revive me for a period up to four years for a medical emergency. There are qualifying criteria, I cannot be kept out so long I age out of the age bracket and it must be temporary."
"What?" Cosima shakes her head. The age bracket, Cosima remembers that much. Delphine must remain under 35 years of age. And she was…31 at boarding? That would mean they could keep Delphine out for 3 years?
"Dr. Leekie died, Cosima. So… I was revived to replace him, as one of the ship's doctors."
"What the fuck." Cosima shakes her head.
"I wasn't the first. They woke two other doctors before me, both men… I am the last. I will finish out his rotation and then I will return to suspended animation, with you . There's not long left now. A few more months. That's it."
"Not OK." Cosima grits her teeth and the words are spat out more angrily than she intended. "How could you… do this?"
"I didn't know! Not until they revived me almost three years ago. It wasn't something I planned." Delphine softens her words. "I had no idea, I was revived and told that I was beginning a work rotation. I was disoriented at first. And then I was sent to our bunkroom as usual. I honestly thought it was a wake cycle until… well until I was told otherwise. It's not until I woke up afterwards that Dr. Tanaka came to get me and take me to the crew quarters. I haven't been in the habitat since."
"Three years!" Cosima yelps. It's too long. It's unfair. Who knows what has gone on in her absence. Even if Delphine seemed to miss her.
"I was working, Cosima. I… have temporary crew quarters. I am… very sorry." Delphine looks sincere, but it doesn't quell her rage. "I never wanted this."
"I thought you were dead!" Cosima shoots back. "Your locker was empty."
"I know and I am sorry… I planned to be there when you woke up. I was supposed to be in the bunkroom, waiting for you when you were thawed. But the communication on who is being thawed when… isn't good enough. No one told me."
"How the hell does one of the doctors not know?"
"I do not have training in cryogenics. I have observed the families being thawed… with one of the other doctors last year. But I have not done much myself. They did not want me doing the physicals for the men, so they were thawed three years ago for their wake cycle with another doctor."
"Dr. Singh didn't tell you?" Cosima points out the fallacy. Dr. Singh seems reasonable enough. Surely Delphine could have gotten this information.
"Actually, she did… during her physical. But that was already 48 hours after. I have been trying to get to you since, I promise. But my access is… restricted."
"Cosima… What are you doing? Where are you going?" Delphine whines, and moves to follow her.
"I don't know. Not here." Cosima heads towards the lift. "I want to get a good look at you in better lighting. I want you to tell me everything."
"I will. I promise." Delphine offers quickly. "I will tell you anything you want to know."
Delphine leads her towards her own lab, the familiar orange and white colour scheme. Awaits them outside the lifts. And Cosima pictures it, her familiar lab. With the same couches.
"So you can get into the labs." Cosima waits outside the lab door. She doesn't want to run any more simulations. Doesn't want to be reminded. Not now.
"Non. I can't. I've only been here with you." Delphine tells her. "I haven't been here since I was last here with you."
"So… when did Leekie die?" Cosima decides to start with an easier question. One Delphine couldn't have any qualms over answering.
"Aldous Leekie died going into torpor, about… four years and six months after we were back in cryo." Delphine tells her plainly. "I was not there to witness his death. I am, however, occupying his old quarters."
"Eww." Cosima idea of Delphine staying there was… repulsive. Even if it had all been cleaned.
"I know. I only found that out a few weeks in… they had a feeling I wouldn't be keen on knowing that. They were correct. But all of the doctors replacing him have occupied the same quarters. There is not a lot of flexibility."
"Can you take me there instead?" Cosima wonders. The genetics lab memories are still too fresh for her, it isn't like it is for Delphine.
"You don't want to go in?" Delphine looks confused. "Cosima… this is your lab. We… can be together here." Delphine reaches to stroke her face.
Cosima shakes her head. "I don't. Take me to crew quarters. Let me see it."
"To crew quarters? Probably not. I could… take you to the medical lab… But I would have to diagnose you with something."
"Great. So in order to be with you I have to get sick." Cosima grumbles.
"No. I just have to diagnose you with something… Maybe you suddenly become anxious and agitated?" Delphine suggests conspiratorially. "I could take you in for observation so you do not disturb other passengers. It's been done before, for other passengers. Though not by me."
"Won't you have to sedate me then?" Cosima deadpans.
"No. Not if you're calm." Delphine offers, and produces a different looking device. This one is blue and metallic.
"What?"
"This is the doctor's version of what we have." Delphine taps the screen a few times. "OK. If you want to go to medlab, then let's go."
Cosima follows behind Delphine and the lift moves a little faster, and she wonders if the speed is slowed down for the passengers. She emerges into a section that is blue and white.
"This is the main medical lab. Medical lab level 1. Level 3 you know, that is where the cryo labs are. That is where you are thawed." Delphine instructs her, leading her down the left corridor to the labs. Perfect uniform white doors with blue stripes. It is… fancy. Plexiglass windows look into most rooms. Each room is numbered. Cosima counts the doors.
"Are doctors housed here?"
"There is a sleeping area, yes. But only used while on all. And we have to take the lift down to the crew quarters to eat. There's not really enough here. But one of the physicians needs to be on call each week. This week? It is me."
"Is it between the passenger habitat and the crew quarters?"
"Yes." Delphine nods. "Here…" Delphine leads her into a small room that looks like a small hospital room. Monitors and an adjustable bed. Cosima looks at the screen behind the bed and sees her own face displayed. Along with a medical profile.
"Patient Cosima Niehaus." Cosima reads. "Well, they've updated it. My homosexual tendencies are well highlighted now. Super accurately I might add."
"Yes, that is recorded. Homosexual activity in flight is always recorded, and graded." Delphine taps a few buttons and brings up her own profile. "See?"
"Dr. Delphine Cormier. Sexuality: stated heterosexual; strong bisexual tendencies. Level A." Cosima reads it and smiles.
"Yes." Delphine taps the screen again to dismiss it. "Level A is the highest. Level D is the lowest. I see it marked in some of the men's files. D is basically two men who… masturbate together in the VR booth or something lower level. Anything more? They rank it higher."
"Oooh. Why is it so high?" Cosima wonders what the criteria are. Her mind is spinning.
"Because you and I are… were romantic. Not just sexual. That is the difference between level A and B." Delphine mutters. "I saw my file a few weeks after my work rotation started. I was curious, and I was permitted access."
"So it's a risk level?"
"In a sense… they don't mind homoerotic activity… It… it is apparently more common with the men. I don't understand why ." Delphine sits down across from the bed. "But it's all…recorded. Nothing else is rated above level B. We are …unique."
Cosima is quick to speak. This actually kind of makes sense. "I do understand, I think… Women who have sex with other women. Like, more than once in a lifetime will typically identify as bisexual. Or say things like ' well everyone is bisexual '. Men… won't necessarily identify as bisexual or gay. Even if they're like, repeat customers. So… they're basically screening out queer women. And if a man is on the downlow… well… he might get in. Any man who actually identifies as gay, no way. They don't care about homoerotic behaviour in-flight as long as people pair off and breed when they get there." Cosima's brain rapidly runs scenarios.
"I've seen the files. Dr. Leekie kept… notes. I've seen it all." Delphine sits seemingly tense. And Cosima wonders if it is the subject matter or just because she'd left Delphine wanting.
"Wow… that must have been a trip. Reading about us." Cosima opts to pace. She doesn't want to sit. Doesn't want to stay still.
"Well the first week I was acclimating. But… it's mostly been the same. Dealing with the crew's health. It's mostly basic things. They are aging. Like anyone else"
"So you're medicating their blood pressure? Aches and pains of aging?" Cosima finds herself asking the boring reality.
"Some of them, yes. Others have more personal concerns. Most of the female crew is menopausal or perimenopausal now. It is… a significant job. Some have signs of cancer growth - which I am not able to fully treat."
"What is the median age of the crew?"
"In their 50s. Young enough to help establish. But… too old to breed. A few are still in their 40s. And the eldests are in their 70s." Delphine surmises.
"But only Leekie died?"
"So far, yes. He was well into his 60s and his body could not withstand the stressors of going into torpor. The oldests of the crew are refusing cryo now. They'd rather live out their lives on the ship. The captain included. He is … kind."
"So there's… a whole crew for the ship." Cosima had understood there must be. Faceless humans doing all the work of piloting, and maintaining this ship. Keeping everything running until arrival.
"Oh yes. Command, engineering, navigation, maintenance… even a few scientists and doctors. They send out probes. And some do horticulture… the food supply."
"But won't give you permission to enter the habitat."
"My request is unique. And he is considering it." Delphine tells her. "And I think he will grant it. I justified it, I need to socialize with my group."
"And us being pretty gay for each other is…?" Cosima wonders if Delphine told them. Surely they don't all have access to their medical records. Just doctors, and maybe some of the medical technicians or nurses.
"Oh Cosima! The crew is different. Some of them are homosexual. Openly. They only care about the colonists that way. Not the crew." Delphine is quick to assure her. "The crew, well they are not supposed to reproduce anyways. So… there's no reason for fertility."
"Right." Cosima hardens a little. "So… three years."
"Not quite. But close now." Delphine admits. "I only have four months left then I go back into cryo."
"So… you get a month with me then back to… whoever you're spending time with in the crew." Cosima crosses her arms. She didn't like the idea. But she knows, if it were her - she would have probably done the same.
"Spending time?" Delphine raises her eyebrows. "Are you alluding to what I think you're alluding to?"
"It's been three years… You haven't moved on? Or at least, a warm body to rub up against?" Cosima knows the truth, had the positions been reversed she would have. Almost certainly.
"Well I knew I would be seeing you again. I have been counting down the months, Cosima…I want to be with you."
"You don't need to pretend to be sex-crazed. I am sure… whoever you're doing can keep up." Cosima brushes it off. She doesn't want to get that close. Not if for Delphine it's been nearly three years apart. That is long enough to change things.
"I did not have sex with anyone." Delphine insists, crossing her arms and staring her down. "I have been working , Cosima."
"In three years?" She cannot stop her brows from raising along with her hands.
"I didn't. Cosima... Most of the crew is getting old. Quite frankly, I am not sure they can even get it up."
"Delphine!"
"It is true. Plus I had you to think about." Delphine continues. "I wouldn't do that… Not now. I don't know what will happen when the ship arrives at the colony. But I am not… doing anything that would jeopardize our… relationship."
Cosima shakes her head. "I was a popsicle on a shelf. Suspended animation. I might as well have been dead." She basically was, Cosima thinks. Down into torpor, and then into suspended animation. Only a modern medical miracle that anyone could be revived from that state.
"It's not shelving." Delphine shakes her head. "I have seen you, they store you upright, plugged into the floor. Not far from where we are actually. Cryo tubes are stored below the third medical lab, there's a developed system for extracting tubes and moving them up for thawing."
"You were creeping my tube?" Cosima briefly wonders if she looks dead. But decides it is better not to ask that question.
"I wanted to see your face. So I … visited you a couple of times. Not a lot of standing room. But I could find you, Cosima. And your name plate is on the tube."
"Great… couldn't have woken me up?"
"I don't have the clearance to do that. I cannot override the programming, once you are in it won't unlock for ten years without the security override." Delphine tells her honestly. "I mean, Cosima. You are not a medical doctor. Or a nurse. It's only medical staff with that clause in their contracts."
"You couldn't invent something?"
"Non… None of the crew is young enough to get pregnant anymore… if someone had, I could have pulled you insisting the fetus needed genetic testing." Delphine seems to consider this. "Dr. Leekie never ordered it though."
"But the crew aren't allowed to have children."
"Non, strictly speaking it is not allowed." Delphine tilts her head, and Cosima easily follows along.
"But?" Cosima reads between the lines.
"Three couples did. All ships' systems staff mostly. And one medical technician." Delphine shrugs. "Dr. Leekie mostly covered it up. They revived the OB GYN when the pregnancies were advanced. All the babies were delivered the same way - cesarean section and tubal ligation. That was what they did. To make sure there wouldn't be too many."
"Wow… what happened to the kids?" Cosima wonders if any of the midwives were aware of this. Then again, they probably would have offered an alternative birthing option that doesn't allow for sterilization on the table. Which was clearly done as some kind of preventative. Or punishment.
"Put into cryo once they were… 25 or so." Delphine shrugs. "Their parents want them to survive to see the colony. I do not know what will happen to them. The captain will make that call on arrival."
"How many spare tubes does the ship carry?"
"Twenty adult tubes. Six pediatric." Delphine tells her. "Two have replaced faulty tubes that I am aware of. Three went to the unintended children of the crew. And… the rest are still around. In case they are needed. Then there are the tubes whose occupants are deceased. But I am not sure we would want to use those."
"But the crew… they don't have the testing the rest of us do."
"They had a basic screening, but yes. No genetic testing. They… weren't supposed to contribute genetically." Delphine shrugs. "But as we've discussed, reality sets in. They've lived their lives for this. And … I wouldn't have wanted to deny them this."
"So…?"
"I don't know, Cosima. I met one of the children as an adult right before he was put into cryo. That is it. The other two - they were in before I was out for my three year service."
"I wonder how common it is."
"Probably depends on the captain. Cosima… He was inclined to look the other way as long as possible. The crew deserve some happiness. It is a long journey for them, and they… know they will be old on arrival."
"I think you're right. Though, three other young adults might… be interesting." Cosima contemplates. As long as any of them don't carry anything dangerous, it might even be advantageous to have a few more people.
"Unless they are sterilized…" Delphine states quietly.
"What?"
"It was in Aldous Leekie's notes. His recommendations for what to do with them on arrival. He presents it as a viable option for maintaining the gene pool as planned."
"No… Don't sterilize them." Cosima objects. "Like, that's three more genomes. It's actually good for genetic diversity."
"I know."
"So make an alternate recommendation, for immediate genetic testing and recommend contraception use until the geneticist can make a determination."
"I will." Delphine offers softly. Reaching out to her again. Delphine's arms go around her. And Cosima lets herself be held.
"You missed me."
"I did… Terribly." Delphine leans in, and this time Cosima can tell Delphine is attempting to be gentle. To moderate her own responses. The thought makes her laugh softly into Delphine's gentle kiss.
This time Cosima kisses back, trying to be measured but Delphine melts at her touch. Whimpers at the touch of her tongue, of her hands. She understands the desperation now, knows where it comes from.
"You still feel so good." Delphine moans at her. And it's enough, Cosima thinks. Enough to have her pushing forward. To have her own hands around Delphine's body, clinging tightly.
"Not here… " Cosima tells her, looking through the plexiglass window. Who knows who else could just walk in on them.
"Non. Not here. There are a couple nurses around." Delphine agrees. Looking her over and making a quick decision.
"Then?" Cosima lets Delphine take her gently by the hand and lead her out of the examination room. She's led to what she quickly understands as the on-call quarters. They're small. A simple single bunk built into the wall. A few screens displaying footage from inside the hospital rooms. A small bathroom and a desk. No doubt alerts sound here if the med lab is accessed. There's no glass window, Cosima thinks that is enough at any rate.
"Here?" Delphine asks and Cosima takes her by her hands.
"OK." Cosima leans in for a kiss. Her lips massage against Delphine's. Softly. Teasingly. She will have to slow her down, Cosima thinks. But the reactions from Delphine bring out her own urgency. She kisses deeper, clutches Delphine back. Hands grazing fabric and longing for skin has Cosima's own desperation coming to the surface.
"I want to make love." Delphine whines in a low voice when their lips reluctantly part to draw breath. "Please… Cosima… Please…"
Cosima begins to undress. Herself, and then Delphine. But Delphine is equally reactive to the touch of her bare skin. She pushes her body down against Delphine's on the narrow bed. Runs her fingers through Delphine's loose curls. Wraps her arms around her. She kisses her, softly at first. Trying her best to draw this out. Trying to let the passion build more slowly.
"Toi m'a manqué." Delphine tells Cosima seriously as she's hovering above her. Wondering how much she can draw this out before they both implode. Delphine cries out at full body contact, wrapping her legs around her. Cosima gently rocks her hips. This could be over far too soon.
"Mon dieu…" Delphine rocks her hips underneath her, and Cosima copies her motions. Echoing the rhythm. There's no direct stimulation, but it has Delphine clutching to her, moaning lowly.
"Hey… I'm right here. We have time… Weeks." Cosima assures softly. "We can go slowly."
Delphine nods at her. Seemingly agreeing but she's never been this reactive. Cosima muses, even as she kisses Delphine as passionately as she can. And Delphine was always responsive. Always tender. But this. This is new.
She lets her right hand drift lower, caressing breasts, ribs, hips and thighs. A tease. One that has Delphine biting her lip again. Her lover lets out another breathy cry as soon as she makes contact with her sex. Cosima strokes cautiously, wanting to live up to whatever expectations Delphine has been building. Her fingers work gently against Delphine before she wiggles from Delphine's tight grip, lowering her face to taste her. And Cosima enjoys it, enthralled by Delphine's loud cries, and by her heady taste. It will have to be enough, Cosima thinks to herself as she works swollen flesh in her mouth. They can always go again. In the meantime, she looks up, and finds Delphine staring back at her, breath coming in quick pants.
Delphine comes quickly, and pulls her up to kiss. Arms wrap back around her, and Cosima sighs.
For a moment, Delphine is silent. Her rapid breathing is the only sound in the room.
"Cosima…" Delphine murmurs.
"Wow…" Cosima smiles. She kisses her neck. Wondering how much Delphine could take right now. Wondering if she'll need more.
"It… feels the same." Delphine smiles back, holding her firmly against her.
"Good."
"Let me touch you now…" Delphine offers quickly.
"Yes." Cosima moves to lay on her back, on the side of the bunk closest to the wall and lets Delphine slide on top of her. Delphine uses her hands, as expected. And Cosima finds though it starts off slow and tentative, Delphine seems to remember. Her confidence increases and two fingers enter her.
"Ohhh mon amour…"
She lets herself moan, lets herself whimper and holds tightly onto Delphine long after climax has shuddered through her body. Delphine slowly moves over her again, drawing her in for one last lingering kiss.
"Mmm." Cosima hums contentedly, wondering just how much more of this she could get away with. Especially with Delphine being supposedly on call.
Delphine for her part clings happily. Laying small kisses on her shoulders and her neck. Cosima wonders if she can fall asleep here. Or if that won't be allowed. She doesn't particularly want to return to the habitat without Delphine.
A buzzing interrupts the silence.
"What is it?" Cosima leans over. Delphine's long arm reaches for the blue metallic device on the floor, flipping it over.
"Permission granted." Delphine smiles. "I can enter and leave the habitat ring at will."
"I found Delphine." Cosima announces simply when they return to the habitat ring. Delphine had opted to wear only the typica garments, leaving her labcoat behind. She'd had to return to her quarters briefly, but immediately came back for her upon locating and booting up her passenger's device.
"She lives!" Sol announces. A wide smile going across her face as they enter the bunkroom together.
"What happened to you?" Celia asks. Unable to contain her curiosity.
"Medical requisitioned." Delphine tells them simply.
"Who died?" Priya cuts to the chase.
"Dr. Aldous Leekie… but we are replacing him in shifts. I am going last." Delphine tells them the brief version of the story. That three passenger doctors were having to fill in. None of them particularly pleased about it.
"Wow." Eden shakes her head. "What did they do with the body?"
"The same as they'd do to anyone else's. They cremate the bodies in the morgue. Otherwise they would have to freeze them, and that would use up cryo tubes. His ashes will be interred on arrival. Along with anyone else who dies during the voyage."
It feels almost the same, Cosima decides. She eats in the dining hall with Delphine, goes on a VR hike with her, and cuddles close to her in her bunk at night. Delphine's long strong fingers carrying out a delicate torture that has Cosima biting her hand against making noise that will disturb Sol, if not the entire bunkrooom.
In the morning she eats breakfast with Delphine, who is smiling dopily at her the entirely time. And Cosima believes it. It is love. Delphine's feelings for her survived nearly three years of separation. There's not much left to do.
"Delphine…" She begins in a playful tone. Knowing that Delphine will readily echo it. That they will recapture their former bond. That everything is still on track to have them together on the surface in 32 years.
"What?"
"Do you know where they keep our crates?"
"Yes. Passenger crates are stored in cargo bay one."
"Oooh. Want to help me break in? I'll make it worth your while."
Delphine laughs only briefly, before turning serious. "Cosima, you cannot break into your crate."
"Oh you think it cannot be done?" Cosima tempts her. Surely they can figure out a way. Delphine knows where they are. And that is half of the battle.
"Ma chérie… I know it cannot be done."
"Come on…" Cosima drags her and Delphine follows. Out of the cafeteria, after quickly assigning their names to a kitchen rota. To make some sort of curry using the tofu. A task Cosima thinks will be best with Delphine in close proximity.
"We have to crawl down a shaft on a ladder in near darkness just to get to the cargo hold from the habitat ring. Assuming I can even open the panel - it is locked from the passenger habitat, for use in emergencies only. You can access it from the medical lab… Or from the engineering section. But there are few reasons to get there from here."
"Oh?" Cosima looks. "So you've been into the cargo hold?"
"My badge will open the door. But I cannot get you into your crate." Delphine tells her.
"Come on…Try… for me."
Delphine takes her by the hand to the lift. "We will go to the medical lab, pass through the cryo section and go straight to the cargo bay. I will show you why it cannot be done."
"Med lab. Level 3." Delphine speaks clearly, and Delphine leads her out into a familiar hallway.
"This is the cryo lab." Cosima realized stepping into the hallway, which seems longer than she remembers.
"Yes, the thawing rooms are the first three. We need to go to the back, there's a second lift. That will take us down to the cargo bay."
"OK." Cosima nods. They walk past a long series of closed doors. "Where do they store us?"
"Right below the lab." Delphine tells her. This lift, Cosima realizes when it opens, is made for crew and cargo. It's huge.
"How many tubes can fit in the lift at once?"
"With the hover crates… Each crate can hold eight at a time, stacked. And they are brought to the thawing rooms this way. Empty tubes are brought back to maintenance via the same lift." Delphine tells her quickly.
"Cargo bay one." The lift begins to descend quickly. Cosima counts the seconds internally, guessing that the cargo bays are stored near the back of the ship. Before the engines, and below the passenger habitats.
"Can I go see the tubes?" Cosima cannot resist asking.
"I think you're rather not, ma chérie… It is…unpleasant." Delphine puts an arm around her. Intending to comfort.
"Lifeless grey bodies suspended in fluid?" Cosima hypothesises.
"Pretty much, though you look more purplish with the cryo fluid. Very pale, motionless." Delphine cuts herself off, choosing to not add more adjectives.
"Dead…"
"You are not dead…" Delphine rolls her eyes. "You are living and breathing right now."
"Fine." Cosima leans to brush her shoulders with Delphine's, "I still want to see."
"But looking at the cryo tubes… takes some getting used to. Particularly the pediatric tubes."
"Right…. There's whole families."
"Not many. Just a few." Delphine is quick to step off the lift. This sector is plain grey, a few hovercarts sit in a wide circular corridor. There are huge doors, marked with letters going down around, no doubt each leading to a different section of cargo bay one.
"Wow."
"Yes. The Swan Queen is massive." Delphine tells her. "Far bigger than I could conceptualize. But, the crew runs it efficiently. Here… Section D should hold what you are looking for. Delphine opens the door quickly. And Cosima sees what looks like crates of medical supplies. A few near the door are opened for crew use.
"Rations… and a huge…crate…of condoms." Cosima looks at the closest crate to the door. A few open boxes sit inside. Displaying condoms and lube, unbranded and for the use of the crew, Cosima supposes. And later, the passengers.
"Yes." Delphine nods. "And plenty of personal lubricant to go with them."
"Do they really want us to breed?" Cosima jokes. "Maybe we should grab a small bottle of lube. Just in case."
Cosima grabs one, to an eyeroll from Delphine but follows along. She might be wanting this later with what she has in mind.
"Come here, passenger crates from your grouping are stored near the back."
Cosima sees various kinds of crates stacked four crates high, on metallic shelves, a few computer terminals display details and locations as Delphine leads her towards the back. Towards the piles of crates that Cosima is beginning to doubt she can break in. Maybe, maybe her crate will be on the bottom.
"What do you want in your crate anyway? What cannot wait another… 22 years?" Delphine asks, as she skims the virtual manifests, seemingly knowing what she is looking for.
"My cock."
"What?" Delphine stops, hand hovering away from the touchscreen. She turns to look at Cosima in something that is either shock or horror.
"I have a dildo and a harness. Plus… some of my own clothes. I miss my own clothes. Cannabis seeds… you know the usual. Though I want to leave the seeds in, save those for a few little plants in my future garden." Cosima lowers her voice playfully. "Might be a little sideline for us too."
"It's supposed to be sentimental items!" Delphine shakes her head. "Personal effects. Mine includes a gift from my parents to be opened when I have settled."
"I have a few of those two. Of course. But…the dildo - it's brand new." Cosima assures her. Besides, why should she wait to get a few select items? What difference does it make if a few things migrate to her locker?
"Why did you even bring… that ?" Delphine makes a face that informs Cosima she doesn't get it at all. Not even close.
Cosima looks at her. "To fuck my future partner with. And vice versa."
Delphine looks back wide eyed, blinking at her.
"Oh come on, like you haven't been thinking about what it might be like if I had one."
"I haven't. I was missing you . Especially the last three years." Delphine mutters. "This is ridiculous."
"It's average sized." Cosima says, wanting to make sure Delphine isn't picturing some kind of monster dong.
"That… is not the concern here." Delphine tells her, and strides off in front of her. She points at a grey crate three crates up and four from the left. "There. There is your crate Cosima." It's numbered across the side and Cosima finds herself feeling overwhelmed with how complicated this is.
"Uhh… Is there… a ladder?"
"Non. Because access to passenger crates in flight isn't necessary."
"Can you get me a ladder?"
"There isn't one in cargo bay one - D." Delphine tells her.
"Should I try to climb it?"
"You could… but you will find your crate is cryogenically sealed so nothing inside ages a day… Everything will be in perfect condition upon arrival. When your crate is delivered to your future home."
Cosima makes one climbing attempt. She manages to reach the second crate, while Delphine looks up at her without helping from the floor.
"So… theoretically if I get up there?"
"You will be unable to open it. And then, I will have to call maintenance to bring a ladder from cargo bay one-A to get you down." Delphine looks up, and gives her a look. "Do you want me to help you get down."
"Yes." Cosima slowly eases herself back down, Delphine spotting her as she does.
"There. Safe again." Delphine gives her a small kiss, and an amused smile. "Did it help to at least see it?"
"No. Because it's impossible." Cosima sighs grumpily, sinking down next to her crate. It's locked, on a timer, and stored three crates high.
"We don't need it." Delphine tried to assure her. "I'm happy to just be with you."
"So you've never fantasized that I could get hard for you?"
"Non. No need." Delphine wraps her arms around her and kisses her again. "Tu es ma Cosima, et t'es parfait." Delphine croons at her.
Cosima's not sure she believes that but decides to take it anyway. Lets Delphine kiss her in the cargo bay. Lets it all go, at least for now.
Somehow everything after is painfully normal. The rest of the wake cycle seems normal. Seems just what she anticipated when she'd first been revived. Delphine sleeps in their bunkroom at night, her body curled around hers. They make love as often as they can. Usually during the day when the bunkroom is empty. Everything is pretty much as it was.
"So… my physical is in an hour." Cosima prompts.
"I know. I… I had you scheduled with Dr. Tanaka."
"Why can't you do it?" Cosima whines pouting.
"Given our personal relationship, it is thought best I do not do your physical. I do have Priya's… in about six hours."
"Great."
"Cosima, purely medical. It will be fine."
"She knows you're all over me… That you are a total budding lesbian. She might even have questions." Cosima teases, but she expects Priya to be a model patient.
"Well, that doesn't matter… because I have a surprise for you."
"What is it?" Cosima tilts her head and grins at the soft look on Delphine's face.
"They said yes, I can keep you out for an extra week." Delphine announces softly, grinning at her.
"They did?" Cosima cannot contain her surprise.
"Believe it or not, the crew is quite sympathetic to this situation." Delphine strokes her face.
"So…?" Cosima wonders how this will work.
"There will be a wristband, you'll be restricted to the med lab, my quarters, the mess hall… or the hydroponics section. Your device won't work in crew quarters, so… I will return it to storage near the cryo bays the day. Tomorrow, you'll leave here - but you cannot tell anyone. You will go to the cryo labs, and instead of going into cryo I will meet you there with your wristband. We'll… go from there."
"That's not bad… So I can wander the crew quarters?" And no annoying device chirping at her, Cosima thinks that would be a good novelty too.
"You could, but only my door will open for you." Delphine hums softly. "Would… that be OK? For a week?"
"How big is the bed?"
"My quarters are about 600 square feet. Bedroom. Living area. Bathroom. They're spacious enough, for one person." Delphine smiles. "The bed is a queen size."
"I'm in." Cosima smiles back.
She manages their slight deception, no one is told she is not going immediately into cryo. None of their bunkmakes suspect a thing. Delphine meets her beaming the following morning.
"Cosima." Delphine leans in for a kiss and produces a flexible wristband that is mostly blue silicone and plastic. It seems to be some kind of fob, Cosima thinks.
"Why do they even have these?"
"Oh they're typically for medical use, this one has just been reprogrammed. I had one my first two months on the crew."
Cosima takes this in, and she lets Delphine attach the wristband, cautiously, to her left wrist.
"Should stay out of our way." Delphine bumps her nose gently against her own and Cosima hands over her device.
"This can be returned." Delphine places it into a slot near the service elevator. "You'll get it back. It is assigned to you."
"Great." Cosima cannot fake being unenthusiastic about going unmonitored.
She's led to the lift and this time it goes up. And they emerge into a hallway that has panels that are coloured a soft sage green.
"This is crew quarters?"
"There are a few levels, but they all look like this." Delphine waves one hand around aimlessly and leads Cosima to a door, but these are not numbered. Instead a name plate is installed into the wall beside each door displaying the occupants name.
Finally they reach Delphine's door. Dr. Delphine Cormier, temporary physician .
"Here we are." Delphine leads her in, and while the walls are the same colour, there is a soft grey couch and a round chair in the living area. A screen is present, likely for playing entertainment. And a VR headset is stored on a shelf high above the couch. Two sliding doors mark one wall, one is a washroom with a very decent sized shower along with a toilet and sink. The other is a room dominated by a large low bed set into a platform against the far wall. A closet for clothes. It's like an apartment, Cosima thinks, like one of the old complexes build by mega corporations and their employees.
"It's nice." Cosima looks around and finds that it is perfectly adequate. A small table and chairs sit by a window at the far end of the living area.
"It's not big, medical officers get decent quarters, but couples get more space than singles." Delphine is mildly apologetic. But then again, why would she need more space than this?
"Only a week?" Cosima eyes her lover, and then the bed.
"Yes." Delphine nods. "But it's a little more time than we would have had."
"I guess to me it'll feel like a couple of days apart."
"Yes. To me, it will be… just over two months. Not long now and Dr. Singh will take over for me."
"Not too long." Cosima agrees wistfully.
"Come here." Delphine pulls her to the bed. They undress slowly, and Cosima lays back. Lets Delphine take the lead. Lets Delphine kiss her neck, her shoulders, her collarbones, and down, her breasts are briefly sucked, briefly kissed and then Delphine moves down again.
"Delphine…" Cosima lets out a little whine when Delphine reaches the small thatch of wiry hair above her sex. Her thigh is stroked, and then her sex is, softly with a hand. Fingers probing against her, parting her.
"I want to…" Delphine says simply, and then she leans in for a taste. Tongue gently probing soft folds of flesh.
It is slow, and simple. Cosima acknowledges. And she guides Delphine at times, requests more pressure. More contact. And Delphine does. Delphine sucks her into her mouth, and is enthralled with her reactions, making a little hum into her. Loving her. Staring down at Delphine's face, watching her is enough to quickly have Cosima coming undone beneath her.
Delphine is quick to gather her into her arms after climax, holding her close. Her heart responds, and Cosima holds her back, hoping that this was enough. Hoping that Delphine enjoyed herself as much as she does. Delphine's rapid breathing in her ear slows gradually. And then Cosima thinks, maybe they should talk about it.
"Why now?" Cosima asks leisurely, enjoying the lull before they recommence lovemaking.
"You smell good… and we have privacy… It was… nice." Delphine glances down, and lets out a little giggle.
"Nice?"
"I like it… I like your taste in my mouth. I like your pleasure…" Delphine hums. "It… I need more practice. Breathing while I am… well… en train de faire cunni … needs… practice."
"I love you." Cosima breathes out. She wraps her arms around Delphine, kissing her soundly.
"Je t'aime aussi." Delphine breaks the kiss to respond. "And we have time… time to… enjoy each other."
"We do… first in this bed. And then I want to see hydroponics… And have lunch." Cosima makes her demands. "And then… we can come back to bed."
"OK. Whatever you like." Delphine smiles at her.
"Whatever I like?" Cosima grins mischievously.
"Without trying to break into off limits areas."
"Oh… come on Delphine…"
"Cosima… I stuck my neck out of this. I promised you wouldn't be any trouble. That we'd probably spend a lot of time in my quarters… and that… afterwards I would personally escort you to the cryo lab."
"Don't make promises you can't keep Delphine." Cosima's voice is teasing, but she wonders if Delphine knows how serious she is. If she can sense the meaning behind the words.
"I don't." Delphine answers simply, pulling her in for another kiss.