This time she seeks out Cosima. As soon as she's been revived again. She won't wait. She needs to be with Cosima. Needs to see her. Even knowing that she's been drugged to fall asleep to aid recovery. She'd drunk the light blue solution quickly, without complaint.

She is treated the same, Delphine thinks. As any other passenger, even after her stint on the crew. She's just another passenger. The technicians treat her exactly the same, seemingly not remembering when their roles were reversed. She follows the instructions back to the passenger habitat and sees Cosima lingering outside their bunkroom. Looking similarly fatigued.

"Cosima…" She's barely breathed her name before she's hauling Cosima into her arms. They're not even in the bunkroom. But she wants her now. She'll haul her into the bunkroom, they'll close the curtain and she'll have her. She'll have her Cosima against her.

"Oh god…" Cosima murmurs weakly, but she kisses her back. Wants her just as much.

"I missed you." Delphine leans in with a nuzzle.

"But you went back into cryo shortly after I did?"

"Four months after. Less really." Delphine says quietly. "I didn't enjoy being part of the crew. But I made myself useful."

"I'm going to miss your crew quarters." Cosima jokes, following her into the bunk room. She climbs up into her bunk, cautious of her feet as Sol is sleeping.

Cosima follows her, and they close the curtain. She begins to kiss Cosima, and begins to touch her. Delphine is certain of it. That they are in each other's arms. But the sleepiness is irresistible. And somewhere between kissing Cosima and trying to reach into her clothes, Delphine is aware she falls asleep. She blinks herself away hours later underneath Cosima who is also beginning to stir. Cosima is quick to kiss her again.

"So much for immediate action." Cosima offers softly, and then kisses her. Delphine responds eagerly, their devices are quickly swept off the bunk to the floor. And if Sol minds, she says nothing. Maybe she's gone to breakfast. It is silent below them, and they had managed to close the curtain.

Delphine considers this as her hands delve under fabric, removing the layers. And isn't this natural? To want to reunite after separation? She reaches for Cosima's clothes as she continues to kiss her soundly.

"Mmm." Cosima hums into her mouth as they shed the layers between them. Her fingers touch skin and this time, desire isn't smoothed over by sleep. Their devices chirp at them, likely prompting them to eat. But there's something else she wants more.

"You smell so good." Cosima whines into her skin, and Delphine only shudders. It is impossible to resist. Impossible not to want her. Cosima kisses down her naked chest, and she makes no move to stop her, just spreads her legs further apart as Cosima crouches down between them. Her mouth going to her sex, her tongue teasing more arousal from her body.

Delphine just lets herself cling to dreadlocks, biting her lip to muffle her noises. She hears movement - but it sounds like it's from across the room. The curtain isn't sheer. They'd have no idea, Delphine justifies to herself. No idea what they are doing.

Cosima hums into her happily, and Delphine just lets her. For Cosima, she reasons, it doesn't feel like it's been months since they laid eyes on each other. For Cosima, it was as if Delphine had just accompanied her to the cryo lab days ago. And yet

She climaxes under Cosima's mouth, maybe a little faster than intended. And no sooner than has she pulled Cosima up to kiss, she begins rubbing against her again. Pulling Cosima in with strong legs, kissing her own taste off Cosima's lips, Cosima's face.

"You're so desperate." Cosima breathes out, breaking the kiss, but only to bring her right hand between them to the apex of her thighs.

"Inside…" Delphine pleads in a low voice, and Cosima obliges her in moments. Two fingers entering her haltingly.

"You can't get enough of me inside you…" Cosima murmurs with a little sigh. It still feels ridiculously good. Feeling Cosima's smile into her neck reassures her. She isn't too needy. It isn't too much.

"I love you… I love you…" Delphine repeats the words. She'd said them so much before. In her temporary crew quarters where she could have Cosima freely, in a variety of positions where no one could see.

She cannot get enough, greedily she presses against Cosima. Needily rolling her hips. Cosima adds a third, and then a fourth finger in quick succession. Testing her gently as she lets Delphine stretch to accommodate her.

The sudden stretch of it makes her groan again. "I love you…" Delphine scrunches her eyes shut, clinging on for dear life as Cosima moves insistently inside her. It becomes easy again, her arousal dripping down Cosima's hand. And she wonders just what this could become if she were particularly ambitious. Instead she holds fiercely to Cosima's back, stroking at her whenever she thinks of it.

"Holy shit." Cosima murmurs. "Delphine… What exactly do you want here?"

"You inside me." Delphine breathes, rocking into her. "You're perfect !"

She sees Cosima smile, and it's worth it. All worth it. She comes, and all thoughts of more vanish. Her attachment to Cosima only grows deeper, Delphine muses.

"Just… gently." Cosima sighs as she touches her in return. And she does, with an eager hand, her lips pressing insistently against Cosima's neck until Cosima's cries are so loud she's convinced half of the hallway has heard them and Cosima's orgasm satisfies them both. An exhale of breath, Cosima's head tipped back as she clutched her back.

"Breakfast?" Delphine asks when they've caught their breath.

"Yeah. I could eat. Again." Cosima quips happily, as soon as she can. A little laugh emerging from her perfect lips. Delphine cannot resist kissing her again.

"Hey! Lovebirds! We have work. And you two need to eat. Real food." Celia calls clearly into the bunkroom. And feeling sufficiently chided, Delphine begins to dress.

"Work?" Cosima asks, pulling back the curtain as soon as they are dressed. Celia stands there with her long red hair braided back, looking as if she is waiting for them.

"Yes. We are on the same rotation. Both of you. Surprisingly." Celia reminds them. "Remember? Final thaw cycle? Training?"

"Training what?" Delphine glances at her device. "What are we doing?"

Agricultural Rotation Training begins in 25 minutes.

"Like… seriously?" Cosima groans. And Delphine knows she will be trying not to laugh as Cosima imitates Nola. She will have to behave herself. Whether or not her Cosima does.

"Yeah… So go eat fast… I don't think you'll have time to shower." Celia gives them both a look. And Delphine wonders why she's not more phased. Perhaps such behaviour was expected because they're both women. Or perhaps Celia is just unphased by homosexuality.

"We better." Delphine glances at Cosima. There was no disguising what they had been up to. And she wasn't quite ready to deal with that.

In the end, they are both seven minutes late and chided by Nola, Josie and Amal. At least they are clean, Delphine figures. About half of the female passengers stand around waiting for them in the hydroponics bay. Which is larger than Delphine had anticipated. It wasn't the same as the hydroponics lab the crew used, this was a different space. A much larger one. Why use this much space for food?

The plants grow in towers, or in long white boxes on metal shelves in rows horizontally across the room. And Delphine can tell that less than half of this room is currently used for growing. It has capacity, she expects, to keep the passengers fed on arrival for several weeks. Fluids are carried between boxes in tubes, running from the walls. And the lights are oddly relaxing. Perhaps because it mimics sunlight. It reminds her of the smaller hydroponics bay, the one they'd visited back when they had time to wander. But her body should be used to functioning without sunlight, Delphine thinks. And yet, there's something about being here. A group of women huddle around commenting and waiting for instruction to begin.

"You see all this?" Amal, who must be the oldest, was taking charge. At least. "We need to increase our food supplies rapidly upon arrival. Both growth and processing of food. To do that? We will be requisitioning you from your ordinary work temporarily. We use a mix of aeroponics and continuous flow solution culture here. But we are set up for several hydroponics methods outside of that as well."

"Is everyone on agricultural rotation?" Cosima asks. "Like as soon as we arrive."

Nola answers. "Agricultural teams are going to be revived three or four months before arrival. We are literally responsible for having enough food to feed the full complement of crew and passengers upon arrival. With spare food. We will have rations, but won't rely on them."

Rations, Delphine thinks, had been the only thing she and Cosima had had time to grab for breakfast. It was still worth it. She reminisce about Cosima's smell, the softness of her skin, the warm openness of her sex.

Amal is quick to speak again. "We will be constructing a hydroponics food production dome on the surface. We will also be establishing more traditional agriculture - again, within our own indoor dome at first until we are better integrated into the colony. And then we will see if it is possible to farm outside the dome."

"So… We are doing hydroponics to free you all up for other agricultural tasks?" Cosima guesses.

Amal nods. "In part, men will be assisting with building. Women will be assisting with food production. But it is mostly to increase our yield as soon as the agricultural dome is in place. Which will be done by machines within two days of landing. Then all this has to get moved as well."

"That's pretty sexist." Cosima comments. "The building vs food divide. Why are we being split up by sex?"

Delphine cannot argue, but attempts to pretend to be studious. She might as well learn how to do this. She will have to contribute during set up like everyone else.

"Not my decision, Cosima. I am just following the instructions we were given. We need to assure our survival, and that means a robust food supply established quickly." Amal says briskly. "But… you all need to learn. So we'll be growing food during this wake cycle. And all of you will be responsible. In two teams, alternating two days a week doing hydroponics. Practicing set up. Sprouting seedlings. Hooking everything up. Monitoring the results."

"Seriously?" Cosima looks to Delphine.

"It seems they are quite serious, ma chérie." Delphine speaks under her breath, giving Cosima's hand an affectionate squeeze. She notices several eyes on them. And wonders if it's jealousy, just because she has a lover. Or something more…sinister.

They are instructed through the process. And Cosima seems to have no trouble telling her what to do. Cosima seems to know how to hook up this system. Maybe she'd studied. Or maybe she knows.

"You've done this before." Delphine decides when they are halfway through set up. She's unsure how they decided to keep the two of them together for this. It was a change. Perhaps they had decided nothing could be done about their relationship. Cosima was correct, one homosexual relationship on a colony wouldn't create mass disorder.

"Guilty as charged. My parents did some minor hydroponics on the boat. Nothing this fancy. Just a few food bearing plants. It was cheap though. Like static solution culture. This is like… 75% misting for aeroponics. Which is good… I think."

"Yes. That was designed for space, wasn't it?" Delphine comments as she connects tubes.

"Not exactly. Just… highly invested in by NASA. Lots of the ancient space orgs." Cosima shrugs. "It works, and a lot of this is automated. Thankfully. We just get the plants sprouted…. Which is our next station. Woo. And then set this up to go." Cosima looks it over.

"Well… Hopefully we pass."

Nola comes over to take a look. "You're… actually doing that right. OK. Good." Nola nods, and keeps going, not staying around. She wanders off to look at other women working, making comments and continuing.

Delphine looks around, seeing Celia working with the two similar women…the twins from somewhere in the US. Celia says nothing but continues working, and she feels a few eyes glance towards her. Celia likely would choose to say nothing. But what if Priya or Eden had … heard them?

"Do you think they all know?

"Know what? That we're romantically involved? Or know that you were letting me eat your pussy this morning in our bunkroom?" Cosima guesses correctly, unsurprisingly.

Delphine shifts uncomfortably. "Cosima…"

"Yes I know. Cunnilingus is uncommon. Blah blah. Shame. Blah blah patriarchy… Blah blah sex toy industry…." Cosima doesn't bother keeping her voice down. And Delphine realizes, for Cosima there is zero shame in it. And perhaps for Cosima, there never was. Maybe she'd always been like this. Intensely homosexual, without shame.

"Cosima…" Delphine tries again with a soft voice.

"Oh… so you want to do it, but not admit that you're doing it?" Cosima looks her directly in the eyes. "That's why you never let me eat you in the bunkroom until this morning."

"It isn't just that… the bunks are small."

"I managed fine. Little cramped. But doable." Cosima gives her a shrug, and then a mischievous look. "And entirely enjoyable."

"I… do not think they would understand." Delphine states simply with a small shrug. "I have no problem with them knowing we are romantically involved… I do not think anyone requires the specifics of how… of how we make love."

"They don't." Cosima agrees. "But… it's just cunnilingus."

"It's not… just anything." Delphine's voice goes soft. She hadn't known. Not how satisfying it could be. Not how much she'd crave Cosima's mouth against her. Not how Cosima's enthrallment with her would make her feel.

"You could just admit it. Tell them they're missing out."

"Ma chérie… I think you are one of the few… people on board who will do that." Delphine stifles a laugh at a quick mental image. Of women lining up to experience oral sex with Cosima. And that would never happen. But the thought makes her laugh.

"Ehhh some of the guys might." Cosima shrugs. "They might demand reciprocation though. Which, gross."

"And you don't."

"Delphine… It's you. I… want to be with you." Cosima is quick to correct her. "Listen. I know that… you are the best possible match for me in this colony. And… we like fit together. And we have it all … the intellectual chemistry. The physical chemistry. The emotional connection… We… We can make this work. It wouldn't be settling… We deserve better than settling."

"I think… I think we can." Delphine agrees. There's no doubt now. She could partner with Cosima. If they would even let her. It may become an issue. Though there was nothing in her contract about marriage. Nothing about explicit pairing off with a man or having his children. Just that she would produce children for the colony. But wasn't it implied? That she would pair off and have children with someone?

"We totally can." Cosima nods back at her confidently. "Can you mix the nutrient solution?"

"Euh… yes." Delphine is quick to check her device for the composition. They can manage this. They … they have to try at any rate. It isn't too challenging. Until they are setting up seeds to sprout.

"Are you sure this will work?" Cosima looks directly at Nola.

"It's worked so far." Nola tells her. "Ensure the seeds are moist."

They are freed only in time for a late lunch. She opts to eat just with Cosima. Avoiding the other bunkmates for now. Just in case.

"Delphine it is OK." Cosima tells her. "Like, as long as they don't have to do it, they don't really care. Or shouldn't."

"But they find it disgusting."

"Does it matter?" Cosima speaks up. "Do you?"

"Non, of course not. I showed you. We… we did it many times before."

"When perfectly alone. In your crew quarters. Last cycle."

"I prefer being alone when we make love. Don't you?"

"Yes, but … well until we settle in down on Leda…I am sure our homes will have reasonable soundproofing."

"Yes. They better." Delphine laughs. She grips Cosima's hand across the table.

"Are… are you sure you want to do this?"

There's only one answer. "Yes."

She notices Priya and Eden giving her a wider berth than usual. But no one specifically says anything. Perhaps they don't even want to broach the subject. Or perhaps it is because all they witnessed her doing was receiving.

Either way her sensitivity during sex is explained when her period arrives two days later. It's an annoyance, Delphine grimaces at her findings while changing her underwear. The mild cramping for her was usually brief and tolerable. But Cosima had worse cycles. And induced cycles were heavier fot everyone it seemed.

"You too?" Cosima comments. "At least all the underwear are period underwear."

It's true, having washable pads built in reduces the mess. But not the current situation of desperately wanting Cosima inside her again.

"Yes."

"Another induced period." Sol agrees. "It makes sense to do it now rather than on landing."

"So we're all cramping and bloated while working? Whoever designed this wake cycle was an idiot." Cosima grumbles. And Delphine agrees with her. It was poor timing.

"Whoever designed it was probably a man." Delphine comments quickly. A woman would not have chosen this.

"You couldn't change it?" Cosima complains.

"Non. I didn't have overrides over the wake cycles." Delphine shrugs. "Those plans were made decades ago. Either by Leekie, or the Colonization Commission."

There's much more grumbling at work that morning and not much to do besides checking the sprouting seeds for growth and monitoring the current yields. Cosima is grumpy, and despite her attempts at soothing her. At offering massage. At offering anything. Cosima remains cranky and crampy throughout the day.

"I'd rather be pregnant." One of the twins comments to Celia, who laughs. And sure enough a few women laugh.

Cosima doesn't. Merely swans off after dinner with a quick word about showering. Delphine tries to wait patiently in the bunkroom, not wanting to go to bed without her. But Cosima spends so long in the shower that night she goes to check on her. Only one stall is occupied, so she undresses to join her. What little intimacy they can have right now.

She finds Cosima braced, allowing the hot water to fall on her back.

"Hey…"

"Hey." Cosima looks up.

"Are you OK?"

"My cycles aren't… great. And the induced ones.. They're so heavy for me."

"I'm sorry."

"Please find a way to opt me out if we do this again."

"I will." Delphine promises, with no idea how she'd follow through on that. But maybe Dr. Singh would listen to reason. That may help.

Cosima stands pulling her into her arms. Delphine goes willingly. Pressing soft kisses to Cosima's cheeks, her neck, the soft olive skin of her shoulder.

"That feels good."

"I can massage you." Delphine offers, moving to do so, and it seems to help somewhat. Cosima relaxing beneath the spray.

"The hot water helps too." Cosima mumbles.

"Do you want painkillers? I can probably requisition some." Delphine offers quickly.

"No… I want you." Cosima tilts her head in the warm steam of the shower, and Delphine wraps to hold her. To kiss her.

"Touch me…"

"But…"

"We're in the shower. I am super sensitive right now… It might be fun. Orgasm is supposed to help cramps."

Delphine lets her fingers gently probe the now familiar folds of Cosima's sweet perfect sex. She smells blood, but also arousal beneath it. She moves to enter her, growing more confident.

"Just one finger… gently." Cosima begs, and Delphine has to have her. Has to give it to her.

"I want to be inside you." Delphine repeats the words Cosima tells her so often in bed. Her craving to have Cosima. To possess her. To have Cosima.

Cosima's whimpering turns to little moans that remain echoing in her ear long after Cosima has come. She lets the water rinse the blood from her hand. And wraps her long arms back around Cosima's body.

"I got you." Delphine brushes their noses together, trying to imbue this with more affection than lust.

"I know."

She is surprised at the amount of work and training that is found for everyone to do. Educational videos on adjusting to life in a new colony. Recorded seminars of landing procedures, where she learns that their bunks are made to allow everyone to strap in for landing, first removing the mattresses and tying them down in a nook near the back of the room. She checks her bunk after, finding the built in harness and verifying that it is still in good working condition.

"Want to strap me in for fun?" Cosima cannot resist joking. But the harnesses are not to be used, or seals broken, until landing procedures commence.

"No… We should get back to work."

"Playtime is over." Cosima quips. Their day had been spent between using one of the VR rooms to do educational modules on adjusting to an alien world and more hands-on training.

"It is." But at least she still has Cosima cuddled against her at night. Her nerves grow by the day, and the overload of information doesn't help.

They are all required to participate in fitness assessments, and full physicals twice during this window. Dr. Nealon is getting old, Delphine thinks even as she follows instructions and submits to the full invasive physical. Perhaps he too will die before landing. She doubts he wants to go into cryo just to die upon thawing like Dr. Leekie had. She suspects the captain has died as well, but with the enforced separation between passengers and crew there was no way to tell.

"That many blood tests?" Delphine comments on the number of vials extracted from her.

"Yes. It isn't as thorough as testing before departure, I know. But we want to establish a heath-baseline after this many years of being in and out of cryostasis." Dr. Nealon comments calmly. "We are repeating as much of the reproductive testing as we can without being too invasive."

"83 years." Delphine knows it well.

"And you've barely aged." Dr. Nealon comments. "And everything is generally up to par, though the educational components are difficult to sell people on after this many wake cycles of leisure."

"Well… we have to do something." Delphine shrugs.

"Oh… We know how you keep yourself entertained."

"What does that matter?"

"It doesn't. The expectations on arrival are the same. You may go, Dr. Cormier." Dr. Nealon is blasé about it. But Delphine feels anything but.

"So… all done?" Cosima finds her quickly.

"For now, have you finished your report?"

Cosima had had a few specific tasks to accomplish, most of which she'd done before. But the Colonization Commission was clear, Cosima was to create another report. Her last before arrival. Containing no more than 15 different population scenarios.

"Yes. Done and submitted… I am actually locked out of my lab now." Cosima makes a face. "It's a shame… I miss the privacy."

"Well… it won't be long now." Delphine has begun to count the days, it is just over a week until they will be back in cryostasis for a final stretch. And then, everything begins.

"Only seven years this time." Cosima tells her with a small smile. It is true, as the days grow shorter before their final cryo cycle it is something she wants to remind herself of.

"Only seven years. Give or take. And then they'll revive us." Delphine agrees. And that thought is thrilling and terrifying, because then the work begins.

"I need… I need to do something to prevent like… totally haphazard reproduction." Cosima shakes her head. "I put a few ideas into my report. And now I have to wait until I have approval… which should be sometime between now and arrival."

"Like what?" Delphine laughs at the thought.

"I don't know! An information session? A seminar? Educational modules?"

"It is… 70% likely the other ship will arrive on time." Delphine offers softly. That should help blunt the effects of any founders syndrome. At least a little.

"But what if it doesn't? It doesn't even need to be destroyed. If something wipes out enough of the crew… then they're sitting dead in the water. Then we have a rather limited population. Which is fine for the first colony born generation, and maybe some of the second depending… but beyond that… serious founder's effect issues. Which will be way worse if some idiots produce a bunch of half-siblings with a bunch of people haphazardly."

"Cosima… I do not think we will be… rabidly having unprotected sex upon landing."

" You won't be. Some of the other passengers might." Cosima points out. "And if dude A has sex with women B, C, and D and produces children with all of them… and then partners with woman E and has three kids. And then there's six half siblings all carrying his DNA…in a small population, and then more people their grandkids are too related to."

"What if it's couple A and B split up after a few years, and both repartner and want another child? That would be… more likely. I am quite certain there is no penalty for divorce and remarriage."

"I mean… if it's a remarriage situation, and it's only one… I think the population can deal. But it's easier if… people don't get as related as quickly. Or I tell the couple, sure, but you're using a donor." Cosima sighs. "I mean, everyone's DNA will be sampled, and tested and stored in my lab for even more population scenarios."

"Most men would not like that."

Cosima nods. "Maybe not."

"But we have to be allowed to… change our minds."

"Change your mind on your partner, sure. Repartner? Sure. I am sure there will be divorces. We don't have a lot of social supports… unless you count the in-flight friendships. And really, even promoting cohabitation before marriage, which I do… will only reduce the early divorces. It won't actually change the fact that people change and some relationships after 7 or 12 or 20 years just…expire."

"So… you're explicitly talking about controlling people's procreation?" Jokes about breeding partners aside, Cosima has always insisted she wanted zero control over anyone's reproduction.

"More… just… warnings. Proceed with cautions. Procreate? Go ahead. Procreate with a bunch of different individuals? Please don't." Cosima shoots her a look, and it feels personal.

"I am … trying not to think about that right now." Delphine doesn't want to address it, she loves Cosima. That should be enough. But who is to say what will happen on landing? They could make things very difficult on them.

Cosima is quick to counter. "Why?"

"Because… I want to enjoy my time with you ."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Cosima recoils. "We have time when we arrive too, you know this. We've talked about this."

"I guess it doesn't. And I know we will." Delphine nods, trying not to get ahead of herself. That won't help anything.