Why, hello there! Welcome to the world of self-indulgent and mostly unplanned band kid interactions and also maybe witty banter because I think I'm so funny. Please enjoy your stay.
Title from SOFI TUKKER's song "Baby I'm A Queen."
"Bob!" The man screams, clutching at his chest dramatically. A Burger King paper crown topples on his forehead. "Surely not you!"
Bob smiles grimly at his old mentor before pointing a pistol in his direction. He pulls the trigger. A gunshot sound effect follows about five seconds after Julian crumples on the floor.
Annabeth stifles a yawn. It isn't like anyone can see her display of utter boredom, but she still feels like she needs to be decently respectable, unlike Octavian, who has picked his nose no less than five times since the beginning of Act 2.
They are nearing intermission, which is good, because that means they are halfway done, but bad, because Student Musical Director Drew Tanaka will come over to complain about how poorly Annabeth is playing the tuba. Annabeth can take criticism okay (alright, maybe not that well), but Drew Tanaka doesn't have a musical bone in her body - and if she did, you wouldn't see it under the layers of foundation and Gucci apparel.
And anyways, Annabeth plays baritone.
Mr. Johnson, the pit conductor, sighs and stands up as the segue to intermission begins. Bob riles up a group of angry NYC residents with incendiary words justifying Julian's murder. Jason plays a dramatic french horn solo. Leo is going ham on the timpani. Annabeth holds one note for twenty measures.
Then Drew Tanaka, Student Musical Director, comes up to the stage to announce the beginning of what would be intermission but is, for their rehearsal purposes, actually just a five minute break. Dakota, Student Lighting Director, is too busy cleaning up a Kool-Aid spill near the control panel that he misses the cue and everyone fumbles around in the dark for a bit before the lights come back up. When the lights finally turn on, Mr. Johnson is nowhere to be found.
Annabeth stands up and sees Percy Jackson, who has immediately begun trying to play three saxophones at once. Stupid wind players and their untiring chops, she thinks, as she massages her jaw.
Hate is a strong word that Annabeth, ever precise, reserves for the likes of Student Musical Director Drew Tanaka and That Guy Who Stole Annabeth's New Highlighters in Fourth Grade, but she has a love-hate relationship with Percy Jackson. He's a goofy guy that makes her giggle more than she'd like to admit - stern exterior to maintain, and all - but she's also pretty sure the only piece he's practiced all semester is "Careless Whisper" and she strongly, strongly dislikes those kinds of people. Chains are only as strong as their weakest link and bands are only as good as their worst players and unless Mr. Johnson spontaneously decides that they're actually going to be Sexy Sax Men for their winter concert Percy's pretty much just trouble for everyone else.
Drew Tanaka is already coming down to the pit so Annabeth puts her mouth to her horn and tries to look busy. It's too late.
"Hello, Annabeth," Drew says, sidling into the pit like she's walking a runway. "I want to talk to you about something."
Annabeth mutters something like, "I don't," and hears Percy snicker, causing him to choke on three mouthpieces at once.
Drew smiles carefully, posing like a model. "Anna, dear, your solo during the 'Snakes' monologue needs to be more ominous. It's an important scene for Bob's character arc because we get to see his devious side, and you really need to bring that out in your playing."
Annabeth nods. "More devious, right."
"Yes. The way you play it now - it's just so bland. Tasteless. Boring." She smiles again. "Kind of like you."
Drew turns on her heel and leaves, her stilettos echoing loudly.
"Miss Hissy Fit is just upset because you're not paying respects to her own kind," says Percy, who has extracted the three horns from his mouth but still looks a bit red in the face.
Annabeth gives him an appreciative smile, which means that she contorts her face into a very fake grin for exactly 2 seconds before turning back around. Percy, however, does not get the message.
"Get it? Because, you know, snakes? Hissy?"
Annabeth does get it, but she does not respond.
"Um, about your solo? I - I think it sounds really nice."
Annabeth's not sure how to respond to this, but it turns out she doesn't have to. Drew, for the first time probably ever, comes to her rescue.
"Hurry up, guys!" yells Drew, "we have to get through at least one full run-through tonight, and then I want to spot-check a few more scenes before we wrap up."
There is the sound of shuffling and harsh whispering and then a loud and rather alarming crash.
"We're fine," calls someone who, from the strain of their voice, is clearly not fine.
"Move it!" screams Drew. "That board is not that heavy. Come on!"
Annabeth cannot say that she was ever looking forward to nightly rehearsals with Resident Mean Girl Drew Tanaka for a week (and then performances for another week? gosh, she really is screwed) but she had thought that at least it was time away from her pesky little twin brothers. As it turns out, Drew's vocal fry is as annoying as at least, like, 5 eight-year-old boys. Maybe more.
"Where's Mrs. Gerges?" asks Jason, while clearing out the spit valves in his french horn. Annabeth shifts away from him as spit drips out onto the floor. She wouldn't give up her trusty baritone Amelia for anything (so what, she named her baritone, lots of people do, Annabeth's sure) but she sometimes wonders what it would be like playing an instrument that didn't involve copious amounts of saliva.
"I think she fell asleep," Hazel answers, mildly. "She must be tired."
Annabeth looks into the audience seating and sure enough, Mrs. Gerges, the actual adult director who really isn't that nice but is at least nicer than Drew, is snoring away. Which means that Drew has free rein and rehearsal definitely isn't going to end when it is supposed to.
Mr. Johnson suddenly reappears by the piano, looking somewhat refreshed but mostly just tired. Annabeth understands - it's already been three hours and they're barely halfway through the production. He stops by Annabeth's seat and immediately she knows that something is wrong.
"Ms. Tanaka has just found that part," he says.
She knows what part he's talking about. It's coming up right after intermission, and from the (admittedly pretty poor quality) recordings she's scavenged on YouTube, it sounds like there's a pretty big low brass solo, but the entire song was just missing from Annabeth's music binder.
"Okay," says Annabeth, "I can have it ready by next rehearsal." This seems pretty generous to her, since their next rehearsal is right after school tomorrow and she's definitely not getting home until midnight. She reaches out a hand to take the sheet music, but Mr. Johnson's clutching it protectively to his chest.
"No, she was very insistent. She needs to hear the part today because it's important and the dancers aren't going to be here tomorrow."
Normally teachers aren't quite so understanding of students' requests (or demands), but Mr. Johnson (and all of the staff, for that matter) has a tendency to bend over backwards for Drew that definitely has nothing to do with Drew's mom literally sponsoring the whole production because their high school's arts budget would definitely not survive the bells and whistles Drew has insisted need to be in the musical otherwise.
But. Trombones are in C and baritones are in B-flat and Annabeth is in trouble.
See, here's the thing. Pit orchestras for musicals usually don't have baritones. Annabeth is only there because Mr. Johnson said none of the trombones could make it (or, as Piper put it, because Annabeth is the teacher's pet), so he needed a baritone to cover the part. Now that Annabeth's here in the pit, she realizes that it's probably because all the trombones have been in musicals with Drew Tanaka before and have been sufficiently scared away.
Anyways, the point is that Annabeth's playing all trombone parts, which is normally fine because she got the rest of the music weeks ago and has had plenty of time to transpose (a process she enjoys because she finds it therapeutic) those parts. But not these ones.
Which means she has to transpose the part on the fly.
And sure, Annabeth didn't win her band's impromptu transposition/sight-reading contest in freshman year for nothing, but also she has like two minutes to figure out a solo. Maybe less, considering how angrily Drew is pushing the stage crew.
She takes a breath to steady herself, gives herself a little pep talk, thanks Mr. Johnson, and looks at the music. She feels like that meme with the dog in the burning house, only instead of having a coffee cup she's holding a massive horn and instead of fire it's Drew Tanaka's screaming face. Both are equally frightening, honestly.
A first glance calms her nerves - it's mostly quarter notes, it's not terribly high or low -
And then holy crap six sharps? Well, at least it's only quarter -
Holy crap it's 182 beats per minute?
Annabeth is immediately berating herself for not at least looking at someone else's music before she showed up to rehearsal, especially since she knew that there was a solo right in the part she was missing. To be fair, though, who was she supposed to ask? Octavian, who somehow didn't stop picking his own nose in preschool? Leo, who scribbled all over his music and folded it into paper airplanes and generally made it illegible? Hazel, who startled if you even opened your mouth to say hello? Jason, who you never saw outside of band because he had like twenty extracurriculars per day? Percy, who -
"Hey, do you need help with that?"
Annabeth looks up irritably to find Percy staring at her. He's twisted on his chair and his legs are swinging dangerously close to his saxophone stand.
"Um, I'm alright, thanks."
"You sure? You look a bit worried. There's multiple pages - I can help you write in the notes on one of them! Up a whole step, right?"
"No, seriously, I'm good. It's just a weird key, is all. I've got it."
Percy, again, does not take the hint. "Wait, let me see," he says, and leans dangerously far back in his chair to look over her stand. Annabeth is very worried that he will tip over and destroy all of the expensive instruments in their vicinity and knock over her music stand in the process.
On the other hand, maybe she'll accidentally lose this stupid solo. That sounds pretty good.
"No, look. You've got to go up a whole step? So it's in A flat. That's an alright key! Besides, this is just the dancers, so it's not like they're going to accidentally skip a line and you have to find where they are. Here," he says, and takes the second page. "I'll write in the notes for you."
"Why are you being so nice today?" Annabeth asks sharply, and it's surprising because you'd think Annabeth was sick of sharps by now. She wants to add, "also, leave me alone, will you?" but she's not quite that upset.
"Why are you being so mean today, Annabeth?" Percy replies immediately.
Out of the corner of her eye, Annabeth sees Drew hurrying up the stage, probably to announce the end of their break. And also the end of the time Annabeth has to prepare her solo that as of this moment she's spent exactly 0 minutes and 0 seconds transposing, thanks to stupid Percy Jackson and his hero complex.
She rolls her eyes. "Just give the music back to me, Percy. I'll figure it out." Then she thinks she sounds a bit harsh and Percy probably meant the best, so she adds on a hasty "thanks, anyways."
As it turns out, Percy has written in three note names, which is disappointing but still admittedly better than Annabeth has done. She scribbles in a couple more before the dancers get set and Mr. Johnson gives the cue to start.
Things go decently well until Annabeth realizes that there's another key change in the middle of the piece, which she manages to struggle through. Apparently, however, Percy also did not notice the key change, because he's written in large, messy scrawl a F-natural when she's supposed to be playing an F-sharp now, and Annabeth's brain explodes trying to keep track of what's written in the trombone part and what Percy's written and what she's actually supposed to play, and she messes up and it's all downhill from there. At the bottom of the hill is a horrifically terrible note that sounds more like a whoopie cushion than a musical instrument.
"Annabeth Chase!" shouts Drew from the seats. "Annabeth Chase, was that you, Annabeth?"
Annabeth is literally the only one playing, so it's pretty obvious that, yes, it was her.
"What an absolute disgrace, Annabeth!" says Drew. "What a disgrace to a respectable production! Do you know how hard everyone has worked to put this together? Put some effort into it, Annabeth! You will destroy the entire production! You don't want me to have to call my mother, do you?"
Annabeth concurs that no, she does not want Drew to have to call her mother.
"You don't want me to call my mother!" Drew repeats, emphatically. "Do you know - "
"It's almost 10, Drew," says Mrs. Gerges, who's finally woken up, probably from Drew's loud tirade. Everyone is clearly relieved but tries not to look overeager because Drew's angry eyes are searching the room for her next victims. "Maybe we should let everyone go."
Drew hesitates but ultimately relents. "Alright, alright, pack it up! Get to bed when you get home so we can be ready for a long day tomorrow! I'll be keeping you late because we need to finish a run-through! Now, skedaddle!"
Everyone stands around for a bit and then hurries to change out of their costumes and grab their things. Dakota has passed out, his cup of Kool-Aid spilled over and pooling near the controls, so they hustle in the dark. Percy, hastily putting down his saxophone, intercepts Annabeth as she runs to the band hall.
"Hey, I'm sorry, that was my fault, wasn't it? I forgot about the key change, right? I'm really sorry. It wasn't intentional or anything, I just screwed up."
Annabeth pushes past him and squeezes backstage, wielding her horn like a magical crowd-parter as the theater kids are helping each other out of zippers and gossiping about Drew.
"I'll do anything to make it up to you. Anything, really," pants Percy, chasing after her.
Annabeth groans. This is absolutely the last thing she wants to deal with at 10 o'clock on a Tuesday night. So she says, "get rid of Drew Tanaka, will you?" and heads towards the doors.
Percy laughs. "I mean, I kind of wanted to do that anyways. Seriously, what can I do for you? I - "
But Annabeth is already too far down the hallway to hear his next words. She basks in the silence, in the tile floors echoing under the tap of her sneakers.
Once Annabeth's put away her horn and packed away her stuff, she heads to the parking lot and climbs into her dad's Prius, sending a quick text to her parents to let them know she's running late but on her way. Looking up, she sees Percy hanging by the front doors. He puts a hand up to acknowledge her, then sends her a thumbs up and wink.
Then he mouths Drew and runs a finger along his throat, his face too smiley for her to take him seriously. She's not sure what he's planning, but she is sure that it's not good.
A/N: Okay, first off: I'm honored that you read this far, unless you just scrolled down to the bottom of this page, in which case I'm still honored that you cared that much.
This fic is inspired by three things:
1. My longing for the days of pit orchestras before having a bunch of people playing wind instruments and singing in a small space became a very bad idea.
2. The song "Baby I'm A Queen," which provides the title for this work. When I first heard it, I was like, "wow, this would be a cool song for Annabeth Chase!" And what do you know, here we are.
3. My constant need to use band instruments as personality tests because instrumentalists have a type just as good as Myers-Briggs. (Okay, maybe that's not true, but kind of.) Annabeth is a baritone, fight me. (Don't actually I'm very sensitive)
At any rate, I hope you enjoyed this! I can't promise that updates will be timely, but I will promise that this work will be finished. I'm really excited to embark on my first published fanfiction, so maybe that will be motivating.
See you at some point in the future!