I'm back from the dead! Check out the end note if you're interested in my return from the dead.
So, here is chapter 30. I struggled a lot with this, but it's 3:30 AM and I might as well just put it out there. I really hope you laugh, or at least smile to yourself.
:::
Scout knew he had the proclivity to open his mouth at inopportune times. In fact, he's been shot on multiple occasions for that very reason, more often than not when gloating over one of the BLU mercenaries. That didn't stop him though - from gloating anyway. Or bullying people on the field, especialy the BLU Pyro.
(And of course the BLU Scout, though it wasn't nearly as fun when someone matched his speed.)
But, as he liked to emphasize - he's only gotten shot at on the field! So really, he didn't have a big mouth problem, but rather a big mouth around guys with guns problem. Which Scout usually dealt with by 2 or more shots to the back (or in case of the BLU Heavy that one time, 12 hits to the skull with his bat).
It was only a matter of time, the rest of his team supposed, until the public would be armed the next time Scout opened his mouth, and someone felt aiming at him was the only option.
That time came Thursday.
:::
Scout let out a huge groan.
"C'mon!"
When Scout accosted Engineer the morning of the ceasefire day, the older man was halfway out the door of the Gravel Pit base. Cradling a moderately large box in his arms, he pretended to listen to Scout, and made a mistake when he then actually listened. The young man needed a ride to the post office. A ride that Engineer was not going to give - he wanted to peacefully get into town, drop off his daughter's birthday gift at the post office, and make it back in less than an hour.
And then, Scout held up two letters, marked in his sloppy handwriting. One for his mother, the other for his eldest brother, a congrats on another baby. He smiled wide, the letters still in his hand - Engineer could count on one hand how many times he's seen Scout give a smile without hint of malice or arrogance in all the years they've been on the same team.
So, with that, Engineer gave a tight smile - after all, not even Scout could ruin a trip to the post office, especially with his own mail on the line.
:::
"C'mon man!"
Engineer prayed he was right as Scout let out another disgruntled noise. To be fair, with how slow the line of the Gravel Pit post office was moving, Engineer himself was about tempted to scream out his own complaints. Instead, he settled for tapping his foot impatiently like the other 24 people in line, and grumbling under his breath about just building a drone to send his mail from now on. Now that would be a fantastic idea. Engineer filed away "mail drone" in the back of his head.
"Mm mhur mll mnlly mhee mhm mhew mmpr mmnts."
Pyro, clutching a deck of post cards, ended up as guest number three on the trip to the post office. It so happened that he was passing by as Scout pleaded his case, and in an Pyro like manner, followed the two out to Engineer's truck. It was only when he got in next to Scout, pushing the young man into Engineer, did the two notice the gas mask staring at them. Engineer didn't have the heart to argue, starting up onto the road as Scout tried to push Pyro further into the passenger door. As with everyone trained after years of living with Scout, Pyro ignored him in favor of telling Engineer about the many postcards he planned to buy. Eight exactly.
"Ya got me fucked up waiting out here - what kinda customer service is this!" Scout continued to heckle the two government employees at the counter. One, the young woman at the counter with square unflattering glasses, turned red with shame. She fumbled with the numerous mail accessories under the counter for the stamps her current customer was looking to buy.
"Yeah, only a minute," mumbled Engineer in response to Pyro's comment. "Just as long as it takes a Spy to sap my entire doggone setup."
Yesterday's game, to say lightly, was not a good one for Engineer, and Pyro tried not to take the comment too personally. The entire team struggled to keep hold of one point, and a ceasefire day was welcome after the brutal hours of bullets, insults, and backstabs. Pyro couldn't deal with another day like that, not after being harassed by BLU Scout the entire time, a taunt after every shot. ("Ooh yah, yer real scary!")
"Sir," breathed one of the older men further up the line, a oddly shaped package tucked under one arm. "We're all aggravated by the wait, so can you please stop yelling?"
Scout returned the question with a middle finger. Unfortunately, the small post office had no security, and the rest of the patrons had given up on arguing with the mercenary to keep it down. (Not that any amount of security would be able to make Scout shut the hell up.)
The man glared at Scout, raising up his own middle finger. Scout stuck out his tongue. The man stared for a moment, then turned around.
"As I was saying," continued Scout, " this is some bullshit-"
"Everyone get on the damn ground, this is a hold-up!"
Engineer tensed. No. Please God, no. Engineer was just enough of a religious man to believe the Lord would have mercy today.
Slowly, he turned, some seconds after the rest of the post office whipped around to see the entrance blocked by two tall men.
"Get on the ground!" demanded one of the men, a blond with too much hair gel and a bandanna around his forehead. Either a businessman, or career criminal, or both, dressed in a ash trench coat and nondescript navy suit. He held a rifle in his hands with familiarity, scanning the room with narrowed blue eyes. The other man, with cropped red hair and just a mite shorter, stepped forward with a disgruntled frown. Like his partner, he had on a trench chcoat, but in beige. Instead of a classy suit, he was dressed in black boots and green cargos. He wore a tight sleeveless shirt and shoulder holster, strapped with a handgun and extra clips. Likely a bodyguard, or career criminal, or both. The two carried dark duffel bags. When no one in the bank made a move, The Redhead raised the shotgun he was holding and fired into the air, flinching and nearly dropping the firearm at the loud crack.
The shot proved effective, and the civilians dropped to the floor with screams, packages, and envelopes. Engineer and Pyro slowly settled down as well, the former gripping his box close. The two mercenaries have never been involved in a robbery before, but had enough sense to play along with the civilians. And, to be fair, they were technically civilians once they stepped off the field. So, sensibly, the old Texan with the hardhat, and the masked individual from a non-applicable state/country/ planet, lowered to the ground.
Standing, Scout watched with mild disinterest as the man wearing the blue suit nodded at his partner. He suddenly yelped when Engineer grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him down to join the rest of the civilians.
"What da hell!" snapped Scout with a sneer, tearing Engineer's hand off his collar. Behind his goggles, Engineer stared unblinking.
"Don't make a scene. The faster they get this robbery over with, the faster we can mail our things."
If Scout was smart, which he wasn't, he would adhere to Engineer's terse warning. After all, it was a post office, so there was not much cash to steal - it would probably take less than half an hour at most to rob the place. No person with sense would interrupt a relatively quick hold-up.
"I'm not about to be robbed by amateurs. Yo-!"
Pyro tackled Scout before the man could stand, landing on Scout's back, and slapping a gloved hand over his mouth. His collection of postcards now forgotten and spread across the floor. Scout tried screaming and yanking at Pyro's hand, struggling to throw the shorter merc off his back. Pyro put his entire weight on Scout and clapped both hands over his mouth.
The Blond was now at the post office counter, peering over at the employees huddled on the ground. One, an elderly man with stark white hair and bushy brows, who Engineer was damn sure was blind, didn't look too bothered, kneeling in silence. The other employee, unflattering glasses and fresh out of training, was tearing up. The Blond slapped the counter harshly, causing the two civilians to jump.
"You," said Th Blond, pointing at the female employee.
"Get your ass up here." The woman's bottom lip quivered, and she sniffed, holding in tears as she scrambled up at the counter.
"H-how can I help you-"
"Fill this up!
The large duffel bag was thrown straight into her face, and she nearly lost her balance.
"W-with what?"
"The mail, you idiot!"
"Mail?"
"Yah, get on with it!" snapped The Redhead, now watching over the rest of the post office, shotgun scanning the floor to ensure no one made a move that required unseemly brain matter all over the floor. Scout had settled down under Pyro, no longer struggling and instead glaring at him over his shoulder. Pyro didn't seem to notice, hands still gripped over Scouts mouth with the full knowledge that the American could get everyone in the post office killed with it. Honestly, Pyro had long learned that the most dangerous thing at RED wasn't Sasha, or engineers hiding behind their sentries, but Scout's big fucking mouth.
"Mail, you're here for the mail?" One of the civilian's spoke this time, kneeling up in disbelief and holding a stack of envelopes in one hand. The Redhead sneered and stalked over, his shotgun entirely focused on the man's face.
"You tryna be a hero?" He didn't allow the man to come up with a response, yanking the envelopes away and slamming his heel into the man's nose. The hero cried out and fell to the ground, fresh blood following. He laid curled up, clutching his broken nose and going from cursing to crying to back to cursing. Several of the rest of the civilians screamed, and one person, who no one could identify, had definitely shit their pants.
"Now you all stay quiet like, and hand my partner here everything you got," said The Blond, briefly glancing at everyone on the floor and back to the employees filling up the duffel. The young woman was now crying and sniffing up snot, and the elderly man was moving so slow, Scout would be his age by the time all the mail was sorted.
"Chop chop!" With that, The Redhead hastily unzipped the duffel he was carrying, shotgun clumsy in one hand as he held the duffel outward for the mail he desired. The first person he approached reached to pull off her wedding ring, and The Redhead shook his head.
"None of that useless shit! We want all the mail. Envelopes, packages, postcards, put 'em in!"
"What about money orders?" came one voice from somewhere in the group.
"Hey man, what about money orders?" The Redhead called over to his blond partner.
"Do they come in an envelope?" asked The Blond.
"Does it come in an envelope?" repeated The Redhead, once again scanning the people kneeling and laying on the ground.
"Yeah."
"Okay, we'll take it."
Engineer's eyes narrowed as the man shook the bag in people's faces across the room. It would only be a few more minutes before he got to the mercenaries, and there was no chance in hell Engineer was giving up his daughter's present. He would die first. Thankfully, he thought, glancing over at Scout, he wouldn't have to.
"Yer right pardner, these guys really are amateurs," Engineer said, glancing over at Scout. Scout's eyebrows rose as he turned his attention to the older man.
"I mean, I'd take care of them and end this in a second, but I gotta protect the package." Scout squinted his eyes, and Pyro glanced over at Engineer, hands still secured over Scout's mouth.
"In fact," Engineer said, eyes following The Redhead as he made his way through the post office and civilians, getting closer. "I might be the only one who can save us today. But I'm use to carrying people."
That was all it took for Scout to again start struggling against Pyro again. Pyro let out a yelping mumble at the sudden thrashing, grasp loosening. Scout may have been more slender, but he hand a good couple of inches on the other mercenary. Combine that with pure disregard for logic, and Pyro really didn't have a chance. Bucking against the masked merc's surprisingly heavy body, Scout threw him off, rolling over and jumping to his feet. Without a second to spare, he doubled jumped over and onto the far end of the post office counter.
"You shut the hell up with that, Engie!" spat Scout, sending Engineer an accusatory finger. "You know damn well your old ass can barely carry a dispenser."
"Hey!" The Blond in the suit had his weapon now firmly aimed at Scout. Eyes wide, he appeared appropriately bewildered, trying to figure out exactly how Scout double jumped. (Which was all really simple, by applying the same method that Soldier used to rocket jump.)
"Get the fuck down right now!" demanded The Blond, putting such questions to the back of his head for later deliberation.
Scout looked over, momentarily having forgotten about the current situation. With a quirk of his brow, curious bright blue eyes, and perpetually smooth face, Engineer and Pyro could see why people would find Scout an unassuming young man. Until he opened his mouth anyway. And even then, if like Pyro, you assumed Scout's arrogance was a cover-up for a heart of gold, you'd quickly dismiss that notion when he came flying toward you with a baseball bat. ("Say goodbye to ya kneecaps chucklehead!")
"I said get down!" The Blond barked, nostrils flaring at Scout's audacity to behave improperly in a robbery.
"Make me!" Scout retorted, patented shit-eating smirk back on his face.
Two shots went off, which Scout easily dodged by sliding off and behind the counter, where the employees were nearly done filling the duffel. They stared at him with wide eyes. Well, the new employee did, tears and snot still dripping down her pale face. The elderly man was staring blankly at Scouts sudden appearance, perhaps experiencing a mild stroke.
"Stay down, will ya," Scout remarked in a brief moment of care for the wellbeing of someone other than himself. The Blond held the trigger, bullets peppering the wall behind the counter. Scout crawled across the ground, throwing packages to the side in search of something useful.
Tossing the duffel over one shoulder, The Redhead swung around, shotgun raised to join his partner in shooting at Scout.
"What the-!" Pyro suddenly jumped the man from behind, arms crossed over his neck for a chokehold. The Redhead dropped the duffel bag and used both hands to ram the shotgun's stock into Pyro's side. Pyro stumbled back and quickly ducked, just barely avoiding the shotgun swinging for his head. He tackled The Redhead, sending the firearm into the group of civilians as the two went down in a wrestle. Neither seemed to notice people edging out of the post office through the front entrance with the brawl going on.
Scout used the momentary distraction of Pyro attacking The Redhead, and pause in firing to jump over the counter, raising a long cylinder shaped package. He ran straight at The Blond, who had been watching his teammate. Scout slammed the package across the man's face, whatever inside bending from the force. Realizing that didn't knock the man over like he'd hope, Scout switched to a solid kick to the throat.
The Blond stumbled backwards, tripping over his own feet. He hit the ground on his back, wheezing and trying to recover from the kick that just about tore his windpipe. The rifle fell from his grip sliding across the laminated post office floor. The Blond coughed, hand blindly feeling for the gun as he sat up.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" He yelled, eyes meeting Scout who was doing a hero pose.
"A little shit," came the response. The Blond turned to see Engineer holding the rifle in one hand, his box in the other.
"Now I really want to mail this out, so you're going to have to sit real tight."
"Lame!" Scout called out to Engineer's very lame dialogue. Engineer glanced over, biting back a retort.
A shot rang out, a bullet hit the right side of his abdomen at the edge of last ribs, and Engineer looked down with moderate surprise at the hole in his overalls.
"Oh."
Engineer stared at the blood staining his overalls and spreading quickly. He sure was losing an awful lot of blood.
The Redhead, one knee shoved into Pyro'ss throat and holding him down, had his pistol aimed directly at Engineer's torso. Before he could fire off another shot, he caught his breath at the sudden smoke filling his nose. In confusion, he glanced down to see the edge of his coat on fire, and screamed. He dropped the gun and jumped off Pyro, who proudly held his lighter in one hand. The Redhead stripped off his coat, throwing it to the floor. He stomped on it, cursing under his breath as he stifled the flames.
"My coat! You cockless motherfucker!"
It didn't take The Redhead long to realize he had dropped both his guns and the hostages were gone. The cockless fuck that had lit him on fire was crouched over the older man in the overalls, hands pressed firmly to the bullet hole.
"Say it!"
The Redhead saw his blond partner being manhandled into a wall, arms pinned behind him as Scout continued to taunt. He laughed, and further twisted the man's arms from behind.
"Say 'I'm a big jackass' or I'm gonna decide to break your arms, pal!"
"You're gonna regret this shit, you prepubescent little shit!" said The Blond, trying to push Scout off before he actually did break his arms.
"Sir."
The Redhead turned to see a shaking shotgun in his face.
"Sir," repeated the young new employee with the unflattering glasses, face stained with dried snot and tears. "Please sit down and wait. The police are going to be here soon."
"Police?" Perked up Scout excitedly, looking around. "Oh boy! Journalists too? I'm gonna be in the paper." He swung The Blond around and punched him straight into the wall, his head bouncing from the impact. Without hesitation, Scout hopped past a dying Engineer and panicking Pyro trying to stop the blood.
"I got it from here, sweetheart," the young mercenary announced, reaching for the shotgun the employee still had leveled at The Redhead.
"Uh," the woman hesitated, briefly glancing at him from behind square frames.
"C'mon, we all know who's the real hero here. I gotta be ready for the winning pose!"
"Uh." The woman continued glancing between the two men. Cop sirens sounded in the distance, momentarily distracting Scout and the woman.
"Eeep!"
The Redhead snatched the shotgun from the woman's hands and shoved her into Scout, sending the pair to the floor.
"What da hell, lady!" yelled Scout, one hand fumbling to push her off, the other finding purchase on the ground. She was crying again, and snot flew at Scout's face. He barely dodged.
Pyro cursed, hands pressed into Engineer's abdomen as he watched the two thieves run for the back room of the building just beyond the counter, The Redhead taking the lead with both duffel bags of mail haphazardly thrown over his shoulder. The Blond hobbled after with his rifle dragging alongside. His chin was covered with blood, and Scout quite possibly punched a tooth out of his mouth.
"Pyro," breathed Engineer, eyes wide with fear. Pyro felt dread settle into his stomach at Engineer's pale face. The man was afraid to die, thought Pyro, eyes tearing behind his mask. He had never seen his comrade so terrified. But with the blood loss, without respawn...
"Pyro!" Engineer now screamed. He grabbed the hand Pyro had pressed against the no longer bleeding bullet wound. He settled Pyro's hand on the box that had not left his side since he stepped out of base that morning. The blood smeared along the brown cover. Pyro tried not to cry at Engineer's solemn look.
"Please make sure this gets to my daughter."
Pyro watched Engineer's eyes water.
"Promise me it'll get there!" The Texan demanded, grabbing Pyro's collar and pulling him forward, mask to goggles. He looked unbelievably pale now and Pyro would guess his skin was cold. And then, Engineer's hold started to weaken, and his hand dropped from Pyro's collar.
:::
"Aye, he looks better than I expected."
Engineer blinked, black slowly fading from his blurred vision. He stared up at lights, his half-lidded gaze slowly focusing.
"Mate, he got shot in the liver."
"He is lucky to live."
"Shame zhey wouldn't just take out his liver for me."
"So -munch- Engineer's dead then -munch-?"
"Merde..."
Engineer winced under the bright ceiling lights and the loud voices around him. His mouth felt dry, and he slowly turned his head to see a glass on a table. He could vaguely make out what appeared to be suspenders along his periphery. Just beyond the glass, across the room, a door opened.
Is this heaven? Is that a glass of holy water?
Scout walked through the doorway.
Oh.
This is hell.
:::
"Ayyyy, who missed me!"
Scout waltz into the hospital room like the little shit that he was, arms out to an imaginary audience. An exhausted Pyro following after, feet dragging as he pushed the door closed and leaned against it with a mumbled sigh.
Scout flexed, giving his entire team a smug grin.
"Saved the day, I'll say," he gloated, hands now on his hip, eyes closed, and nodding to himself.
"Engineer got shot," Sniper said flatly from the foot of the hospital bed, gesturing to the mercenary peacefully laying under starch white blankets.
"Yah I saw it happen," Scout said.
"And you got arrested," added Demo from the other side of the room.
"The cops got it all wrong!" claimed Scout, scanning the room. His entire team was dressed down to civilian wear, looking more like an unfortunate family rather than a deadly group of mercenaries. Obviously, Scout fit the role of the really fucking annoying little brother who you wished you weren't related to. But you are, and accept it after realizing he's the one in the family that takes the brunt of conflict without any concern.
At the head of Engineer's bed, Medic raised one brow, actually looking like a proper doctor with his conservative suspenders and slacks. The eccentric uncle if anyone would guess, genuinely excited about the strangest hobbies.
Across, at the other side of the head, Heavy stood with an impassive stare and arms crossed, as intimidating as usual even in an ill-fitting short sleeve button up. Maybe a distant older brother, with wise advice when pressed.
Just behind him, near the visitor chair, somewhat frowning and missing both his beanie and Scrumpy, was Demo. He tucked his hands into his dark jeans, compliemnted by a gray shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbow. Definitely a cousin, the one who humors your mischief.
Wrinkled, but dressed down to only his sunglasses and a loose flannel shirt, Sniper made no effort to hide his irritation and scowl. The awkward, somewhat endearing uncle, amusing on good days, and best avoided otherwise.
Spy seemed to blend in with the far corner of the room, toying with an unlit cigarette. Like Heavy, he remained unreadable under his balaclava, though way less intimidating in a fitted designer dress shirt and dark slacks. Could be a father, maybe. Not the type who's around, and actually really did go out for cigarettes before deciding he was a far better killer than father.
And standing at the table by the window, eating Engineer's hospital dinner, was Soldier. He had opted to only wear a white t-shirt, stilled decked out in his helmet, uniform pants, and boots. The x10 eccentric uncle. Believes in the craziest shit, and ruins the annual family barbecue, but you invite him every year because he would take a bullet for you.
Behind Scout and leaning against the door, Pyro contemplated his decision to leave the base that morning. In his typical fire retardant suit and behind his characteristic gas mask, his expression remained hidden. He's adopted. An extremely strange one, but you're the only family who'll take him in. (And you're the only family he'd accept.)
So stood RED's eight mercenaries, crowded in a hospital room around their ninth member. An older man, both too smart, and too full of repressed anger because someone has to be somewhat reasonable, and somewhat concerned about the rest of the family. Is definitely a father, a real one. And finds himself falling back into the role unintentionally.
The only sound in the small room was Soldier slurping up the jello from the food tray as the other mercenaries stared expectantly at Scout to continue his nonsensical excuse.
"I looked like I was one of those amateurs," continued Scout, frowning. "On account of the lady crying, and me calling her dumb ass out on losing the shotgun."
"Mph mmher mphhng mhr," Pyro said, mumbles holding a hint of aggravation. "Mphnd mhhn mhy mmhd mphd mm mmhail mho mhot!"
"Shaking someone's shoulders ain't a crime," blew off Scout, not even bothering to glance at Pyro. "And, I mean, thanks for bailing me out with all your witness account or whatever...BUT WHATEVER THE CASE. I saved the day."
Scout smiled, crossed his arms proudly across his chest.
"Did you forget the thieves got away?" Spy remarked. "They literally ran out the back."
Scout turned red. "If that dummy lady-"
"Doc?"
Everyone turned attention to the man laying in the bed. Engineer stared up at Medic's face, before slowly pulling himself to sit up in bed. The sheet across his chest fell down, exposing the bandages wrapped across his abdomen. When the team had first seen him in the hospital bed, they had to make sure they were in the right room. They've seen the Texan without his hardhat and goggles before, but that was at the base, or in town when he was about and talking and whatnot. The bleached white hospital sheets did always seem to change people.
"Fellas?"
"How are you feeling?" asked Heavy slowly, the rest of the team watching to see the man's reaction.
"What happened?" mumbled out Engineer, face twisted in pain as he finally settled against the bed's plastic headboard. He idly pressed his gloved hand across his bandages, wincing. (Surprisingly the nurses had left his metal hand untouched.)
"You almost died," replied Medic, smiling in his unnerving way down at his teammate. "You got shot in the liver, and thanks to Pyro, you made it to the hospital in relatively good shape. They even took out the bullet."
Munching on cookies, Soldier held up the aforementioned flattened bullet with a wide grin. "They said I could keep it!"
Engineer frowned, giving the room a once over. IT was a tad unsettling to his his entire team crowded around him, all staring with varying degrees of concern, and disinterest in Spy's case. (And in Soldier's case, struggling to open a juicebox).
Engineer's eyes settled on Pyro, and he considerably brightened.
"The present!" he exclaimed, nearly jumping out of bed, only to wince at the sharp pain at his would."Did you mail it?"
Pyro nodded vigorously, giving his friend a thumbs up. Engineer sighed, slowly sinking into his pillow with a soft smile.
"Let's talk about me now."
Engineer closed his eyes as the team started getting riled up by Scout's comments.
"I can't believe I missed a robbery. And that a wee shite like you actually didn't get anyone killed!"
"I can't believe the ambulance took Truckie here instead of to base. Three hour surgery what the medigun could fix in seconds! I was in the middle of something too."
"Searching a magazine for wrinkle cream hardly sounds like something. But am I wrong to assume we're leaving tonight with the laborer?"
"Da. I do not know much about American healthcare. Is expensive, correct?"
"Zis was such a waste. They could have taken out his liver for me! A full organ, almost intact. Though I guess I could do that when we get back..."
"Mmph mphst mphphy mmst mhy ms mhovr."
Engineer smiled, drifting into sleep amidst his teammate's voices. Today wasn't so bad, he reasoned. After all, his mail got delivered.
:::
This sounds like an ending for the fic, but it's not! I mean, I hope it's not haha, since I have no idea when the next chapter's coming out.
Every character is based on my interpretation of the game, particularly the character intro vids and the lines throughout the game. (Because I love playing and feel every character has characteristic responses and taunts that show a lot about who they are.) I don't actually read the comics but I am somewhat aware of what's canon (though I choose to not wander too much into that because this fic focuses on something different). I hope no one is too bothered by how I write everyone. I try very hard to keep them all in character, with my own little quirks and headcanons. But please let me know if you notice some out of character moments! (within reason, because let's face it, this is a wacky af universe)
I'm currently studying for the most important exam of my career (nbd) and decided, hey, a chapter would be a good way to relax (haha). I struggled for a while about what to write about, but here it is! The robbers in this chapter were based off two characters from the Boondocks (very obviously).
I honestly laugh when I go back to look over the chapters I've written. This fic gives me as much joy as it gives you, and I couldn't let it die (at least not yet - there's still so much hilarious banter waiting to be written!). I'm thinking of even putting a chapter with some of the funniest lines, because not gonna lie, there are some real gems in here (I know, I'm hilarious). Or maybe add a funny quote from a previous chapter at the end of new chapters? What do you think?
Thank you for continuing to support, review, favorite, and read this fic. I love hearing that you laughed, and always enjoy reading about your favorite parts. In the end, that's all I'm here for, making people laugh!