Olivia radiated an enormous smile as she gingerly climbed down from the stage. Her friend Casey Novak patiently waited for her at a round table close to the stage. Holding out another screwball glass of amber liquid, Olivia presumed it to be bourbon. She loves bourbon.

"I hope that I don't sound like a broken record or anything, Benson, but you have considered a life in the music world, right? I mean, seriously. Your voice is like worn leather being all soft but just enough rasp to really feel the music, you know? I could totally see you as someone like Stevie Nicks or Joan Jett or..."

"Novak, I feel like we've had this conversation last week, and the week before, and the week before that. So yes, you sound like a broken record. I only do this for fun."

"I'm just saying, if cuffing creeps and interrogating suspects starts to get tiresome, you do have a great alternative. Let me indulge here! Rock Stars have an expiration date."

"A rockstar? You've been breathing in dusty old law books again, haven't you? That expiration date was up a long time ago Casey, and New York is my home, my sanctuary if you will; I have no intention of jetting off on a world tour anytime soon. I don't know how someone can just pick up and leave."

She couldn't leave New York, not to be a national headliner or a rock star like her dear friend Casey perceives. The thought of leaving made her chest ache and stomach queasy. She had the perfect life for it. No husband, no children, and her mother was another story.

Casey leaned in, "You're thinking about him again."

If Casey Novak was anything, she was observant. Olivia clammed right up, avoided her gaze, and looked like someone had taken the ghost right out of her. Casey knew she was thinking about him. She met Olivia in her Freshman year of college, Casey was her roommate all four years, and the pair have been good friends since. Their bond only got stronger after Olivia left the police academy and Casey graduated from law school.

"It's been too long, Livia. Take that final step off the other side of the bridge, put that Marine in a box up in your hall closet or something— I don't know! What was his name again? Elijah? Ethan? Elias?" Casey laughed, trying to remember the name of Olivia's lost lover. Olivia offered a friendly smile, at least somewhat happy that she was trying to make her laugh.

Olivia didn't refer to him much anymore, but she thought about him often. She wondered if he was still out there if he had a family now. A family that wasn't with her.

She only showed Casey a photo of them together once, and that was eight years ago. Casey needed to put a face to the precious Marine Olivia missed so much. She never called him by his first name. He was just….El.

1985

Olivia was knee to knee with her new red-headed roommate on the edge of their bathroom sink. They had known each other a month, which in the girl world, feels like a year. Casey had just got done vomiting after a night of drinking and partying that Olivia did not attend. Casey met a guy at the party who was interested in her, and she looked to Olivia for advice.

"Have you ever been in love?" Casey slurred

"I have, I still am."

"Who's the guy?"

"I'll be right back. Sit tight."

She came back with a photograph of their day at the pumpkin patch the year before.

"This is him?"

"Yeah, he's my hottie."

"He's not hot, Olivia. He's an Adonis….Wow," Casey brought the picture close to her face and studied it further. Olivia's smile was frozen in time; it may have been the happiest Casey had seen her thus far.

"Paws off Casey, he's spoken for."

"Does this Adonis man have a name? Don't tell me he's a Gregory or Norman or something gross."

"He's not. His name is El."

Present

"You are hopeless, Casey."

"I know the spiel, his deadbeat father, your alcoholic mother...the ultimate recipe for your everlasting teenage-disaster love story, good grief. "

"I appreciate your concern, Charlie Brown," Olivia stole the straw that hung aimlessly out of Casey's drink and began to spin it between her fingers, rendering it useless, "He was just different, you know?"

"I've said that about a few guys I let waltz their way into my life."

"You mean waltz their way into your bedroom? Not the same thing."

"Hey! Don't do that. This isn't about me. This is about you. Enlighten me again as to why I should care about your Marine breaking your already fragile heart?" Casey teased.

"Things would be different, a lot different. If he didn't leave, you and I probably would have never met and become friends. If the time were right, I would have dropped everything to be with this guy if he didn't have to go. Bonnie and Clyde without the life of crime and the tragic-death part."

"But is running away from your problems the answer? If you saw him. Right here right now, would you zoom off in a streetcar named desire and throw caution into the wind? Take off in a flying car into Danny and Sandy's heavenly paradise?"

"I don't know what I would do. Before I met you, he was my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my fighter. His father made him enlist, and I told you that story. I decided to be with him until I couldn't be. I will never regret it. Not now, not ever, especially after all he'd done for me."

Casey scoffed playfully, "How noble of you," Casey took another sip of her drink.

"I knew what was coming."

"If Nicholas Sparks ever got a hold of that fairytale, you could say goodbye to Law Enforcement and say hello to..."

"Nicholas Sparks can find some other love story to beat to death. Casey, being a cop makes me who I am. I love what I do and what I'm about to do. Tomorrow's a new chapter in the book. My day at Special Victims."

"SVU needed someone like you a long time ago."

"Need me? I haven't worked a day there yet, and if they needed me so much, why did it take a whole fucking year to process my transfer request?"

"It's a rotating door Liv, no one seems to be able to stomach it too long, and those that do get sucked in until they can collect their 20 and retire. It's not easy, I'm not a detective, but I can tell you it's not an easy job to even hear about. There are only so many spots in the bullpen."

"When did a spot open up?"

"Their female detective slept with a suspect during an active investigation. Cragen cut her loose."

"Look, anywhere that isn't with Brian fucking Cassidy is my kinda place." Her mood shifted, she paused, choosing her words carefully, "You know why I wanna be there. The real reasons."

"Because there actually is a piece of you missing…."

Olivia nodded her head, pulling her lips tighter together as she now played with the rim of her glass.

"I have to warn you. The sex-crimes gang is a little rough to be around, but-"

"It's not like I haven't dealt with a rough group of cops before Casey; I'm sure I can handle it."

Casey spotted her coworkers hovering about the bar, "Perfect timing" Casey waved her hand, catching the attention of the wandering detectives.

"Well, well, well. Casey Novak, long time no see." Munch sang happily.

Casey chuckled, "I just got back from a legal trade show in Minnesota; come on! I wasn't gone that long."

"Long enough!" Munch whined, "Another week, and I think Alex Cabot would have given Cragen a stroke. You will be blessing us with your presence tomorrow, I hope?"

Casey grinned, "I have a plus one coming with me, but she's all yours after that. This is Olivia Benson. Detective Olivia Benson. She's joining you guys at SVU tomorrow."

Olivia stood up to shake the mystery detective's hand, "Pleasure to meet you, Detective."

"John Munch. Squad calls me Munch, but you can call me anytime." He reached across the table and reciprocated the handshake. Olivia just giggled and dismissed it.

"Don't scare her, Munch. She's a lady. Dirty old man," Fin murmured, "Odafin Tutuola, you can call me Fin."

"Odafin?" Olivia questioned, "That's Nigerian, right?"

"The lady gets it!" Fin exclaimed, "Alright, Benson, you're my new favorite."

"Like you had one before…" said Munch.

Olivia extended her hand out for a shake, "It's nice to meet you too, Fin."

"I think you're down a detective, John." Casey pointed out, "Where is Hot-Head? Home again sulking, I presume?"

"Actually, he's crawling around here somewhere, I guess he decided to hang out with the cool kids tonight."

"Hot-Head? Do I even want to know?" Olivia asked.

"Guy's got a temper; not much any of us can do about it. He's alright once you get to know him. Don't let him scare you." Munch winked at her. "There's a special place in hell just for him, right between the Devil and Hades…."

"He can introduce himself." Fin huffed, "Stabler over here!"

"St...Stabler?" Olivia stuttered.

It could be one of Elliot's many brothers, a cousin, maybe even his father if he was still on the force after all this time. Her chest tightened, and lost herself mid-breath. The room stopped moving. It couldn't be him.

Across the room, Elliot excused himself to get to the group of gathering adults, and he was mighty surprised to see who Fin and Munch were sitting with. Olivia didn't see his face at first until his sapphire eyes pierced her heart.

"Good to see you out, Stabler," Casey remarked.

He looked at Olivia sitting quietly next to him, her eyes never deviating from his. Together, in sync, they knew what they needed to do.

"Olivia Benson. Manhattan Homicide."

"Elliot Stabler. Manhattan Special Victims."

It was formal even for them, cordial even, but neither wanted to cause a scene in front of the gang. It was better this way, for more reasons than one. A joyous reunion between two lost lovers? It wasn't the time, and Flannigan's wasn't the place. Elliot pulled out an empty chair and sat between Fin and Olivia. His need to talk to her was too great, but he needed to wait.

A steady but light talking had erupted. There was a mention of a recent case closure involving some high-almighty member of society neither one could care to listen. Casey and Munch were the stars of their dialogue, and Fin jumped in when he could squeeze in a word.

While the others were distracted, Elliot leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Can I buy you a drink?"

The huskiness of his voice made Olivia jump in her chair, but her response was stoic, quick, and unshaken. "Yeah, that would be great." She offered a small smile to blanket her coldness.

Olivia follows Elliot to the bar, immediately catching the attention of the bartender.

Olivia is still spiraling out of her mind.

Elliot is trying to remember what breathing is.

"Sorry about John. He can be a bit much." Elliot started, "God, this is a small world."

"He's quite alright. He's a bit out there, I've noticed." Olivia grinned, her voice grew horse and sultry, "I agree, it is a small world..." She added, "...But this is a big city."

"How long has it been?" he asked.

"Too long. I lost count," she answered.

"You were wonderful up there," he gestured to the stage, which now occupied another singer, "Took a couple of breaths away for sure." he finished.

"I won't quit my day job over it trust me," Olivia chuckled against the rim of her glass, "just lets me blow off a bit of steam after some long days."

"I'd love to talk to you tonight if that's alright." Elliot waited for her retaliation, but it never came; her eyes went off into space.

"I think that's a great idea. Maybe not here," she added, "I can barely hear you over the music. Come on. I'll tell Casey I'm heading out early. I'll join you outside. Casey can hitch a ride home with Fin and Munch tonight," Olivia's relaxed tone eased Elliot's nerves.

He chuckled, "You're going to leave her with the stooges?" Olivia nodded her head and laughed, "She looks at Fin the way I used to look at Patrick Swayze; I'm doing her a favor, trust me. I'll meet you outside."

Casey fished through her clutch to pay the tab with Olivia. Meanwhile, Fin and Munch struck a conversation all on their own.

Fin jabbed a finger at their friend at the bar, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

Munch straightened his tie, smoothing it down the front of his shirt, "Yeah, If that's thee, Detective Benson, that Cragen keeps whispering about on the phone she's Stabler's new partner."

"He wasn't whispering you crackpot. You were using that satellite dish on a stick you got from a Cheerios box…."

"It's a bionic sound amplifier dear friend," Munch corrected, "I am insulted by the crackpot comment I'll have you know."

Fin brushed off Munch's remarks, "So Stabler finally gets a partner again. How long until she's beggin' Cragen for a transfer?"

Munch knew everything. More than he was letting on anyway, "Well, today is Tuesday, so…" he paused, "You know what? She's got a good set of shoulders on her. I think perhaps she might be the one to mellow him out."

"Mellow him?" Fin raised an eyebrow and a sly smirk, "You gotta be kidding…."

"Can it Fin, let the dog have his bone"

"That's a nice bone," Fin muttered

"Let's just hope our boy doesn't land himself in the dog house."

Just as promised, Elliot waited outside one building over. In the mere minutes that he waited for her, a million thoughts crossed wires and nearly short-circuited his brain. He waited just under a decade to see her again.

She's here, with me. This has to be a dream. I must be dreaming.

Fucking hell, Stabler. Shoot yourself in the foot. Wake up.

The faint clicking of her heels reappeared, and there she was, clad in her club attire, shooting him a nervous smile. They walked side by side for a while until Elliot offered his arm for her to link onto. It was a comfort she didn't think twice about accepting.

"Nine years. Nine fucking years." he simply stated.

Olivia squeezed his bicep tighter, "Still too long," her knowing eyes finding his.

He nodded and grinned, "It's been driving me crazy, how we never crossed paths on the street or at a coffee cart or something."

"Maybe we weren't meant to meet again like that, you know? Too cliche for my taste."

"Too cliche?" Elliot chuckled, "Like a bar isn't?"

"I don't make the rules. The universe does."

"Yeah, well, the universe needs new rules." He argued back, "What are you up to these days? Something must have changed if you're hanging out with Novak at Flannigan's."

"Casey was my roommate at Siena, and we're really good friends. Like I said before, Flannigan's is a fun thing I do, not the thing I do."

"And the whole detective thing? What happened to Criminal Law?"

"I realized that there was more good I could do on this side of the law. The detective title has a nicer ring to it."

"Top of your Academy class?"

"Try top 3. I was the only woman."

"Always a bad-ass," he smiled, "Your mom... how is she?"

"She's at rehab in Chelsea. We tried the outpatient programs, but that didn't do any good."

"How long has she been there?"

"Almost two months."

Olivia looked to Elliot, trying to read what he was feeling.

"I guess I was kinda hoping she would have changed for you," he smiled softly.

"She's...trying," Olivia morosely, "Couple of slip-ups here and there, but she's working on it. I have to give her credit for trying."

"Serena doesn't deserve you," he admitted a little too loudly, immediately regretting how it sounded, but Olivia knew, she knew exactly what he meant.

"She didn't want me, but she got me," Olivia's demeanor shifted. The topic needed to change, or else she would cry on the sidewalk, "What's all this hot-headed business about anyway?"

Elliot rolled his eyes, "Who said I was a hot-head?"

"Your buds, Fin and Munch. Casey even thought so too."

"I've gotten better," he lied through his teeth, "I'm just surprised thats the first thing they use to describe me."

"They said your last name, and I froze," she shook her head, "I was fighting with myself, trying to figure out if I was hearing things or hearing them wrong...I mean, how many guys have the last name 'Stabler'? Not many."

"Not many that are left anyway…."

"I panicked even more, thinking there was a possibility that I would see your father."

"That would've been impossible," he spoke softly, "Heart Attack in '88"

"El…"

"I wasn't home when he died, and I only heard about in probably a month after he was gone. By then, services were over, and he was in the ground. I've made peace with it because it's not something worth dwelling on."

The walk went by faster than either of them thought, Olivia turned her key into the first door and made her way up the stairs to her apartment. Olivia's apartment door came into view, painted a charming but chipped shade of royal blue, and the number 4D hung in gold above the peephole. An aroma of vanilla and cinnamon lingered. The apartment itself was small but spacious; by glancing at the pictures on the walls, Elliot deduced that she must be the only one who lives here. Slowly he began to recognize small elements from her past. A desk lamp that used to be the only source of light in her bedroom now resided on an end-table that used to belong in the living room of her mother's apartment. The mystery novels on her shelves used to live in a pile on the floor next to her bed. He remembered. He loved that he remembered.

She shrugged off her jacket and hung it up in the closet, "Excuse the mess. I've barely been home for the last week."

There was a laundry basket in the corner by the door that had begun to pile up with miscellaneous articles of clothing, but it was hardly a mess.

"I'm gonna pour myself a glass of red, same for you?" Olivia offered.

"Count me in. Can I help you with anything?"

"Could you reach up for another glass, top shelf to the right," She pointed to the cabinet next to the fridge.

She popped the cork on the green glass bottle and began to pour, "Tonight is making me wish I had a bottle of that sparkling raspberry wine we used to drink under the bleachers after the stadium lights went out. Gosh what was it called," she snapped her fingers trying to remember.

"Arbor Mist came in a frosted bottle, didn't it?"

She nodded, "God, I remember trying to get drunk off of it, but we got stomach aches first." Olivia chucked

"I recall us getting into at least a bottle or two," Elliot chuckled

"Must have lost the taste for it."

"Who are you kidding?"

"Just you, I suppose."

They picked their glasses and made their way over to the couch. The rain was starting up again, and it began to pelt the windows.

"Tell me everything." She grinned, tucking her legs underneath her and resting a polished hand on her ankle. She was seventeen again in his eyes. The way she looked at him sent chills down his body.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"What's the first thing that comes to mind?" She countered.

Elliot sighed and thought long about what he should tell her first, but one thing, in particular, jumped the line, "I got married." his stomach dropped when she got quiet.

It took everything in her to keep it together, to not yell or scream, "Congratulations, I'm sure she must be..."

"My ex-wife," He finished her thought, "She and I divorced a while back."

"I'm sorry."

Elliot snorted, "I'm not sorry, I'm sure she isn't either," Elliot shook his head, "I never should've gotten married to begin with."

"Divorce is a sin. You would know better than anyone..." She wasn't judging him. It was simply a reminder because it was the reason Elliot's parents stayed married as long as they did, even if they weren't happy.

Elliot reached for Olivia's hand, "You shouldn't marry someone you don't love. I should never have left you here in the city. I'd rather pack up my life in a gym duffle and take off across the country evading arrest for going AWOL."

"El, you were already set to go, and it was too late to stop those plans. I had to let you go."

"That doesn't make it any better, Liv."

"It's the past now, and we can't change anything about it. Just accept that it happened and move on," Olivia shuddered. Elliot's thumb moved across the top of her hand, "God, Elliot, I wanted you to come home to me too. You were my best friend. I loved you."

"You stopped writing to me. I thought maybe you met someone else."

"I didn't. Casey was helping me through some things. By the time I got around to writing the letter, I thought maybe we were better off going our separate ways. I didn't get another letter from you after that, and maybe it was for the better." Olivia set her wine glass down on the end table and brought her hand to her necklace, fiddling with the pendant, trying to keep her tears at bay, "My mom asked me, 'Who did you have to fuck to get that?' She was the type back then to take my things and pawn them. I didn't want her to take this away, and I haven't taken it off, not once."

"What did she say when you told her?"

"If I told her you gave this to me, she would have gutted me with a steak knife."

"She never did like me." Elliot laughed

"She thought you were the definition of trouble..that and you wanted to take me away from her."

"I don't know how much trouble an alter boy can get into, but she is right... If you would have let me. I would have taken you away Liv. It wasn't safe for you in that apartment."

"It wasn't safe for you either, Elliot. The broken ribs, the sprained knuckles, and black eyes…." She listed his wounds from over the years.

"The glass in your scalp, the dislocated shoulder, fractured wrists, the cuts…."

"It hasn't happened for a long time, El."

Elliot looked at her for any of those injuries again, like they did to each other when they were young, "Stop doing that." She spat at him.

"Doing what?"

"Worrying about me. Mourning decisions we made as teenagers. Staring at me with those…Stabler blues...They make...Everything harder. I'm not going to break, Elliot."

"I loved you then," Elliot inched closer in front of Olivia. He could feel the tension pervade through her slim frame.

"You loved me then?" her voice was shaky and riddled with pain, "Do you love me now?" her eyes were like sheets of glass, so full of emotion, maybe she was going to break, Olivia's tone changed, "I think maybe we both had a little too much to drink tonight and this was a mistake. I'm going to call you a cab, Elliot. I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you to come here."

"I didn't finish, Liv." Elliot thundered. He lunged for Olivia's hand to stop her from reaching for the telephone. His hand grazed the top of her knuckles with his calloused thumb. It was a feeling that electrified both of their senses. Their worlds collided. Olivia's mouth trembled, but nothing came out.

"Olivia, I never stopped loving you. Believe what you want to believe. What I'm trying to say is that even then I knew I loved you. Every night I go to bed hoping that in the morning, you were out there, happy and alive. I'll leave, but believe me, Liv. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you—," Olivia cut him off with a simple glance up, tears pooled into her waterline, threatening to spill.

Like a piano chord, he felt it in his heart. Olivia's big brown eyes halted vocabulary words from escaping his lips. Don't go echoed inside his head. It was her voice. The monologue disappeared when he felt her tug him towards her. With each inch he gained in her path, he could feel the fire that ravaged his heart slowly begin to burn out. Nine years of guilt and pain. Please just a little bit closer, he heard it say again. Olivia released Elliot's hand, she placed a palm against his smooth-shaven face, staring intently into the duo of blues that plagued her all this time.

"Put down the phone, Liv," he gasped for a breath to speak, "Do us both a favor and put down the phone." Olivia pulled a hand away from Elliot's cheek and let the receiver fall back onto the hook. When she turned around, he sealed the gap between them, enveloping her in a savory kiss.

Both of them were scared to move their lips, knowing well what would happen if they did. Against better judgment, Elliot moved his mouth against Olivia's, tangling his hand in her hair while the other was planted at the small of her back, keeping her close as her body melted into his. Olivia palmed Elliot's chest, blindly searching for the loosened knot of his tie.

Olivia pulled her lips away, "I always wanted—you and me—just like this—just like this, El. I forgot what it was like to touch you." Olivia trembled. It proved to be a challenge composing her sentiments but ultimately failed when another solitary tear escaped her now-streaked eyes.

Was this the alcohol taking over? Was this the tender age of seventeen talking? Maybe it was both.

Elliot's lips formed a shy grin before drifting south, and he placed soft kisses along the curve of her collarbone, careful to cover every inch of her hot bare skin. Olivia single-handedly unknotted his tie, letting it drop onto the hardwood floor below them and working efficiently to open his heather blue dress shirt. Still, before she could finish, Elliot lifted her onto his waist and carried her into what he presumed to be her room.

He turned around, opening the door with his back before setting her down on her flawlessly made bed. "You...you drive me crazy, Liv," Elliot's shirt hung open, exposing his bare chest that rippled with muscle. He unzipped her pants and tugged them down her mile-long legs, discarding them in an undiscovered part of the darkroom; the same went for her top. To his excitement, she was wearing a thin, delicate pair of black lace panties and an unlined black bra. He reached for them, but Olivia drove the sleeves of his shirt down over his impeccably toned arms first.

She could feel her throbbing heat become even more soaked. Elliot whispered into her ear, "Can I touch you?" He was asking for consent. Consent to defile her in the most wicked ways. "Liv, I will never make you do something you don't want to do."

She nodded, "I know." He gently pushed her legs apart and went to work, kissing and nipping at the soft skin between her thighs. She could feel the light scratching of his teeth against her, and she moaned, louder than she anticipated. She felt the underwear trail down her body. Elliot grabbed Olivia's thighs and pulled her down to the edge of the bed, to which he kneeled, engulfing her swollen clit into his mouth.

Olivia couldn't help but arch her back in pleasure. She brushed through Elliot's hair as he went to work, tasting all the flavors she had to offer. How was she so close to the edge already? So close to losing all sense of control. He dragged away from her heat, kissing her up the curves of her womanly frame, discarding the last article of clothing, hugging her, and taking her nipple into his mouth. Elliot hummed, intensifying her sensations, and once again, she threw her head back in ecstasy as he kneaded her other breast.

His rough hands pulled her onto his lap, toying with the sensitive bud of her breast.

Olivia sought out his belt buckle, "You're overdressed." she purred. The slacks flew in a fashion like the rest of her clothes, his boxers also in the wind. She began to stroke him gently, and he moaned from her touch, Olivia lifted his chin away from her breast and kissed him lovingly again, tasting herself on him.

"We're covered, El." They always used a condom in their younger years. He hadn't thought about it. She used birth control now, but that conversation wasn't covered in their intervention, "Make love to me, El."

Elliot didn't need further convincing, positioning his hardened self between her legs. Elliot drove into her slowly; he felt her tense up, wincing in agony, her fingernails sinking into his shoulders.

"Are you okay?"

"Just go slow. It's been a long time."

"Me too."

He moved slowly, building a rhythm that satisfied both of their desires. They changed positions; he hovered above her, letting her body rest against the bed; Olivia's legs shook at his sides. Moans escaped Olivia's lips. Her eyes shut tight when she felt the white-hot-heat begin to build inside her. Elliot was close, but he needed her to come to completion before he did. There wasn't much more he could take. He felt her inner muscles squeeze him harder. He moved his hips quicker, slamming himself against her core. She whimpered against him again, but this time the feeling was much more powerful, "Elliot." She cried. Her release began to take hold of her. Elliot grunted and felt his orgasm take hold of him too. Olivia's walls pulsing and contracting at last, he was going to make her ride it out to the end.

Olivia panted, laying back onto her pillow and draping an arm across on his back. Elliot stayed between her legs, his cock still buried deep into her core, surely filling her up inside. He laid his head against her breast, listening to how fast her heart was beating.

When they both rode out the aftermath of their orgasm, Elliot moved off of Olivia's chest and laid beside her, toying with the medallion.

"Told you, I never take it off…."

"I'm glad you haven't."

She reached over and traced his arm with the pads of her fingers. He was stronger than he once was. He was dominant, no reservations about it, but the way he rendered himself and became her lover. Being in his arms was safe. All her troubles and doubts were millions of miles away, in another universe when he was in arms reach.

"You make me feel human again, Liv."

"You make me feel alive again."

"You remember when we did this….The first time?"

"My bedroom," she recalls, "My mom was out of the apartment for the night. We both didn't expect it to happen, but we…."

"That night sits at the top of my head like the alphabet."

The night in question was frantic yet tender in every sense of the word. Candles were the only light source illuminating her bedroom because her mother didn't pay the electric bill on time. He was gentle, like he had been tonight with her, and proved he truly cherished her.

"I woke up that morning, and you were gone. I know you had to go, but I wish…."

"I wished I stayed that night too."

He had to leave before morning that night. While Olivia was asleep, he had blown out the candles and left her a note where he lay. She remembers feeling the emptiness at her beside, no longer feeling his warmth in the wee hours of the morning. The message waited for her when the sun came up. She laughed reading his chicken-scratch writing and accepted that he had to go after their night of passion because if Serena caught them, she'd be killed in a drunken rage by Serena.

"I want you to stay."

"I'd like that," he shifts a bit, "Come here," Elliot pulled the grey top sheet over both of them, followed by her comforter. Olivia whispers something inaudible, her eyes waved closed but not before nustling even closer to him, her delicate hand placed on peck. She had lost her battle with consciousness. It didn't take long for Elliot to surrender to the same state. His last conscious thought was a vow—a vow to never let her slip through his fingers ever again.

A/N: Another chapter down and many more to go! I've spent all day finalizing the edits of this chapter to make it as memorable as possible. I'm not good at writing smut but stay with me, I'll try my best. There is still A LOT to unpack in the lives of Elliot and Olivia. Any content recognized from the L&O:SVU series belongs strictly to Dick Wolf. Follow, Fav, and Review! ;)