This is my first song-fic, I know I should be updating my ongoing stories (sorry!) but I heard this song and just had to write this fic. Pleas review!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the X-men characters or franchise, or the song "Just Hold Me" by Maria Mena.
Just Hold Me:
Comfortable as I am
I need your reassurance
And
Comfortable as you are
You count the days
You'll never know how much I love you. I'm too afraid of scaring you away.
And now I realise I'm too late-you're looking around. I never did like ice-skating anyway.
Who am I kidding?
I need you as much as I need air in my lungs and blood in my veins.
But if
I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted
Loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if I like
Rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know
I've always been shy. Even before I kissed Cody and my whole life changed.
Have you ever wanted to be loved so hard that it hurts inside? A great gaping hole screaming out to be filled. That's how I feel. I thought that you could fill that emptiness. I really did. But now I see I was just fooling myself.
And why can't you just
Hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to
See me broken
And why do I still care
Still care
You and I both know very well why you can't hold me, no matter how much you may want to.
My fingers itch with a desire to touch, to feel soft silky skin. My lips long to touch yours again, for a few fleeting seconds.
It's agony. Needing to touch, but unable to.
You say you see the light now
At the end of this
Narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all
I do notice, you know. When your arm is around me, you tense up ever so slightly. When you talk to me, your eyes don't meet mine anymore. When we're in class, you gaze at someone else.
But if
I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted
Loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if I like
Rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know
I told myself I was being paranoid that I was imaging things.
But after the Danger Room training session, and seeing you and her last night, I knew I was right.
And why can't you just
Hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to
See me broken
And why do I still care
So I told myself it didn't matter, that I didn't love you anyway, that she could have you.
But inside, deep inside, I was screaming.
And still no one is listening.
Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I think
I did have good days
I'm dying inside. I can't keep on like this-pretending nothing is wrong, while watching grow further and further away from me.
So I'll do what I do best: run.
But I'll come back for you, I'll come back different. And maybe then you'll love me.
Because I love you, Bobby Drake.
And why can't you just
Hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to
See me broken
And why do I still care.
