A/N - Yea... I'm not dead. Lol. Finals have been around and I've had to put some focus there. In addition, I've had the tiniest bit of writer's block. Hopefully, you'll all forgive me. Also, hopefully, this didn't turn out like crap. I would say that the format of this story kinda changed as well. As always, please review and let me know what you think. Without further ado...

New York City. They say it's the city of lights and dreams. They weren't kidding. Well, at least about the lights part. I felt as if I needed a pair of sunglasses the first time I explored 42nd Street at night. There was so much to see here, everything was so big and so busy. It was... overwhelming to say the least. No one could feel lonely in a place like this. No one... except for me.

It had been 3 months since I up and left Canada. You know how I am, go big or go home. When I decided to move, I knew deep down that I would carry myself far away from everything. Wasn't that the whole point of the endeavor? To get as far away from you as possible? To go somewhere that could completely help me to forget about everything I had ever known? Where else to go but to the city that never sleeps?

The brisk January air swept across my cheek, temporarily snapping me away from my thoughts of you. I jammed my hands into the pockets of my jeans and fell into a quick stride. I tucked my chin into the confines of my scarf, trying to embrace the warmth there. As luck would have it, my cell phone immediately rang in my pocket. I was convinced that fate just enjoyed hassling me for it's own entertainment. Removing my hands from the warm envelopes that my pockets created, I reached into my bag to stop the obtrusive noise. I could feel the frost bite coming on with each passing second.

"Hello?" I asked, becoming fascinated by to cloud of smoke leaving my mouth.

"How's the Big Apple treating my little sister?" Sadie asked, the tiniest hint of amusement evident in her voice.

I smiled. Despite our relationship over the years, Sadie had grown into the one person I could depend on the most. She was always there when I needed her. "You would have thought that Canada would have predisposed me to cold temperatures and have gotten me used to them. I'm out here freezing my ass off."

"Quit your complaining. It must really be something to be living in New York City. It's practically the center of the universe."

I thought of the lifestyle that Sadie liked to lead. The fashion, the parties, everything about New York practically screamed Sadie. She'd love it here. Was there something so wrong with me that I couldn't even be happy here. I sighed. "It isn't all it's cracked up to be."

Sadie snickered. "Yea okay. You're just lucky you have the money to live out there. If I could afford it, I'd have moved ages ago. Instead, I get to live in your old apartment."

I nodded, temporarily unaware that I was on the telephone and that Sadie couldn't see me. Okay, so I couldn't technically give up our place altogether. The thought of some stranger occupying all the spaces we had.. I shook my head. I couldn't let that happen. At least I could go back and visit as long as Sadie lived there. Pay tribute to us, to our history if I ever felt strong enough to do so without breaking down.

"Jude.." Sadie began, a welcome interruption to thoughts of you. Why was it so hard to leave you behind, just as I had everything else?

"Yea?"

"Being out there.. Has it helped? I mean, at first you sounded as if you were getting back to your old self again, as if you were finally happy. But know, I feel like disappointment is setting in."

I sighed. "Sadie... it's just... I'm lonely. Even here. During Christmas time, watching the couples here... it just made me think of him even more. I thought that being out here would help me to forget about him... but it hasn't." I stopped, not knowing exactly how to describe what I was feeling.

I heard silence on the other end, as if Sadie were contemplating something. I knew that she no longer harbored feelings of jealousy, as she once told me during the start of our relationship that we were "meant to be." She finally spoke after a few minutes. "Jude, I need to tell you something."

That sounded alarmingly close to the way a confession would start off. I braced myself for something big, sensing that such was the case due to the tone of Sadie's voice. "What is it Sadie?"

"Tommy... he came by to see you about two months ago."

And as busy as New York was, in that moment, I could swear the city around me stopped.