Let's all watch Citizen Kane

x

"Freddy?"

Freddy Krueger glanced up from the morning paper he had been reading. "Yeah?" He murmered.

"Uh," Chucky scratched his head, "Who do you think is more attractive? Charlize Theron or Phoebe Cates?"

There was a moment's silence, then a low chuckle came from Freddy and he slumped lower back into his chair. "Chucky, you ask the most stupid questions, you know that? Obviously Charlize Theron, dumbass. Phoebe Cates is so '91."

"Just because she's older doesn't mean that she's less attractive," Chucky piped up angrily, glowering at Freddy, "And anyway, Charlize wouldn't know how the hell to be attractive if it came up and - slashed her in the throat!"

"Hey, don't say a word about Charlize, okay?" Freddy snarled, "And hey, what are you reading?"

"Playboy," Chucky responded casually, turning the page, "But it's just boring old Pamela Anderson. For once I wish they'd get some pictures of Phoebe in there." When Freddy snorted, Chucky merely ignored him and chucked the magazine to him. "Here. Take it and see if there's anything in there you like."

Freddy said thanks and began to read. Just then, Tiffany came downstairs and froze, gasping a little as she noticed Freddy was in the room. Chucky looked up and saw her, "Hey pookie! Come on over here." He said, beckoning her towards him.

"S - Sure, honey," Tiffany said shakily, moving across the room towards him. When she approached Chucky pulled her up onto his lap and gave her a quick kiss. Tiffany kissed him back, but was watching Freddy intently out of the corner of her eye. "It's your turn to pick Glen up from school, honey."

Chucky looked disgruntled and immidiately pulled away from her, "What? But I picked him up yesterday!"

"Yeah, but I picked him up the thousand previous days, didn't I?" Tiffany replied, her lip curled, "Get to it, then."

With a low grumble, Chucky jumped up and left to pick up Glen. A moment after he had gone there was a loud knock at the door, and Freddy went to get it. As he opened the door, his eyes widened. Nancy Thompson was there, carrying a large shovel. Alongside her were the infamous dream warriors, Taryn, Will, Kristen, Kincaid and Joey, also carrying shovels.

"Uh..?" Freddy began, not sure of what to say to them.

"The jig is up, Krueger!" Nancy snarled, glaring at him. Then she stopped and turned to the others, "Now, remember what we talked about. Rules: DON'T look him in the eye. Also, make sure that you breathe VERY quietly. Lastly, hit him as hard as you can. Kristen, you go for the head. The rest of you just keep bashing him."

Freddy laughed, "Oh wow, I really am awaiting this 'bashing' with great anticipation," He said, goggling at them. "Nancy, I thought you were blonde?"

"No, I decided to go back to my natural hair colour," Nancy replied, glancing at him in disdain, "Anyway, you know what they say. Brunnettes do it better!"

"Actually, that's blondes do it better," Chucky interjected; he had appeared beside the group with Glen at his side.

"Well, I - I," Nancy cast around for the right words, "I didn't really go to school much! I was always fighting you!" She added, pointing a finger accusingly at Freddy, "And anyway, we're now going to beat you both to a pulp! And that little ugly thing aswell!" She said, glancing at Glen, "So, prepare to be - smashed."

"Okay, but before you do that, why not come in for some grub? My wife Tiffany makes the best Swedish meatballs," Chucky suggested. The warriors considered, and then grudgingly accepted, stepping forward into the house. "So, what's this all about?" Chucky said with a sigh as they all sat down.

"He killed my friends!" Nancy exclaimed, pointing at Freddy.

"Well, she laid my spirit to rest and beat me at our killing game again!" Freddy shot back at her, close to tears.

"Now, now," Chucky interrupted, "You guys! You're so stupid, fighting for such stupid reasons! So what if Freddy killed Nancy's friends, that was a long time ago! And so what if Nancy killed you again Freddy, you managed to kill her three times, remember?"

Freddy managed a smile and nodded.

"Yeah. So, why don't you guys just kiss and make up? You've both learned your lesson now, I hope," Chucky went on, "C'mon. Just make up and get over it."

Freddy and Nancy hugged and apologised for their foul behaviour. Then, when Chucky had gone off to play darts with Jason and Candyman, Tiffany entered the room with a hot bowl of Swedish meatballs in her grasp. "Here you go, kids, woman and demon. Eat up."

"Thanks Tiff," Freddy said, starting to eat. "You want me to give you a hand in the kitchen?"

"Oh! Oh.. no, Freddy. I'm fine, honestly," Tiffany said quickly, running out of the room. A moment later, Samara returned from work to find, to her amazement, Freddy and Nancy getting along like a house on fire.

"Wow.. what the hell happened here?" She said in a strange voice, "Freddy? I thought you hated this girl."

"No, I really like her," Freddy told her with a grin, "And I think she likes me, too."

"I sure do, Freddums!" Nancy said, "And I don't care about what society says about our relationship, because I love you."

"I love you too, Nance."

While Chucky and Jason began to play darts using the dream warriors' (minus Nancy) heads as dart boards, Tiffany gazed at Freddy and Nancy from inside the kitchen, and wondered if this was a nightmare.