Prologue

In this business, you don't have time to stop and smell the flowers. The only time we'll ever get a whiff of flowers is when we're dead in a box ten feet under the ground - or maybe buried in a vacant lot somewhere. Today, though, the new kid and I were surrounded by flowers. The aroma filled our lungs.

It was pleasant.

Too pleasant.

Almost like this lady wearing flowers in her hair and on her maid outfit was getting ready to hold a funeral for us.

Getting attacked by a femme fatale with a voice as smooth as funeral parlor silk isn't the worst way to go. But if I bite the dust now, then that snake will probably celebrate back at HQ.

With a cake bought from this damn cafe.

I can't give that snake that satisfaction. And I can't let the new kid get caught up in all this. Not when she's the first person to actually like my monologues.

And so, I bring out the package from the fruity shark. I lay the box - and my life on the line.

…

" Goshujin-sama? " The maid behind the counter tilted her head, wondering why Ame was talking to herself, "Is everything alright?"

Ame took a deep breath and faced the femme fatale head on. She cleared her throat and spoke with the most dapper mobster voice she could muster.

"I was just trying to work up the courage to talk with a beautiful lady, see?"

"Ara~!" The maid blushed, pleased by Ame's compliment.

Kiara glanced at Ame, but the senior plainclothes detective gave her a thumbs up.

I've got this, new kid. Even I have moxie when it counts.

"The names Amelon, see. The chick with me is Erika - a German immigrant." Ame set down the package on the table and added, "The sharkie from the cannery sent us to bring you this."

"Oh, messengers from Gura?" The green-haired maid spoke with a sing-song voice. She took the package without question and wore a warm smile, "No wonder why you're so sweet! Must be because of all the canned fruits coming out of that factory!"

Ame tipped her fedora and winked at the maid, "Anyone would feel like a can of fruit salad after meeting someone like you, ma'am."

"Uuuuuu~!" The maid swooned. She took a moment to calm down before she faced Ame again with the widest smile, "The two of you seem like new faces, so I don't know if you know me. but I'm Fauna Ceres. Sole proprietor of the Mother Nature Cafe. It's a pleasure to meet you, Amelon and Erika."

Ame and Kiara shook Fauna's hand.

"The pleasure is ours, ma'am." Ame piled on the charm yet again.

Fauna smiled, but promptly changed the subject.

"I'm quite happy that the two of you delivered this package so quickly." Fauna explained, "Gura called me just a while ago and told me that you were coming. I'll have to call her and thank her for sending such cute messengers~!"

Calling the shark back, huh? Was that how Gura would know if we delivered the package or not? It was a good call to go straight here and not stop at HQ.

Fauna rambled on and on about Gura and the business she has with the Shrimps gang. Ame listened with passing interest, but her eyes were more focused on the package that was now in Fauna's hands.

What in the world did that sharkie make us deliver?

Just as Ame pondered about the package, Fauna beamed at her and Kiara. She then asked with a sultry voice, "Are you thirsty, my dears?"

Ame and Kiara gulped. Even the moxie that Ame had in reserve was no match for Fauna's endless well of charm.

If we let our guards down for even a moment, we're gonna get swept up in Fauna's words. Kiara's face is blushing so hard - she might turn into a light bulb. I'd like to get us out of this place before things get out of hand, but we can't rush outside just now. We're too deep into this to retreat from out of the blue.

"A drink would be nice." Ame lined up the last of her moxie, "Erika here would probably like one too."

"Understood." Fauna gave Ame and Kiara a deep, servantile bow. She took the package with her and excused herself, "Please wait a moment. I'll prepare everything for you two - go-shu-jin-sama-ta-chi~! "

Hmph. The times I wish I took the Japanese language course at officer school more seriously.

With that, Fauna disappeared into the back room of the cafe. For that brief window of time, Ame brought Kiara closer to her and whispered.

"You're a Navy girl, right?" Ame asked, "How's your hand-to-hand combat?"

"I practice every day." Kiara answered, "I can pin down a sailor if I had to."

Ame nodded.

"Good. So, I'll take a sip of whatever concoction this lady brews for us. If it's laced with something, pound that maid into the ground! Then, find the telephone in this joint and get Uniforms to storm this place - and an ambulance too."

"Got it, senpai!" Kiara answered resolutely.

While Ame and Kiara were speaking, Fauna emerged from the backroom with a tray in hand. On that tray, there were two tall glasses of strangely colored drinks with tiny chunks of things resting at the bottom. There were straws sticking out from the drinks and there were tiny toothpick umbrellas resting on the brim.

Some tropical-themed rat poison and cyanide gel pills, huh? Forget the ambulance. If this is what I think it is, Kiara will have to call the Coroner!

Fauna set down the tray on the counter and asked the two plainclothes detectives to have a seat. They obliged and felt that time seemed to slow down. The faint aroma of fruits reached their noses, complemented by the fragrance of flowers in the cafe.

"Please enjoy yourselves~!" Fauna spoke with her sing-song voice.

Ame could only wonder what sinister motives Fauna had behind her inviting smile. Her hand trembled for a moment, but she reached for one of the glasses.

In the corner of her eye, Ame saw Kiara shuddering as well. The closer the brim of the glass drew to Ame's lips, Kiara wound herself and coiled up more and more like a spring - prepared to hop over the counter and tackle Fauna in a single motion.

However, when Ame dared to take a sip…

It's… delicious?

Ame blinked once and then twice. She wondered if she would feel any pang of pain or if her vision would blur, but her taste buds were absolutely delighted instead!

"W-what is this!?" Ame asked. Her genuine shock mixed in with her waning anxiety.

"It's Gura's favorite!" Fauna answered happily, "Iced lychee lemonade with strawberry jelly - topped with whipped cream and candy sprinkles!" The maid then started laughing uncomfortably, "Gura's tastes may be a little odd, but I thought that…"

Before Fauna could finish her self-deprecation, Ame took a longer sip. The strawberry jelly flowed through Ame's straw and she chewed on them eagerly.

"This is… the best drink i've ever had!" Ame spoke.

Both Fauna and Kiara seemed shocked by Ame's sudden blissful outburst. Kiara, in particular, eyed her glass and gave the drink a try too.

"Mmmm~!" Kiara hummed. She too soon started glowing as brightly as Ame did.

"Two happy customers~!" Fauna placed her hands over her heart, "I'm glad you enjoyed the drinks - but that was only the first half of the service."

"First half…?" Ame raised her brow.

"Yes! The Mother Nature Cafe aims to help the customers achieve peace and relaxation." Fauna explained proudly, "If the two of you aren't in a hurry, I'd like to offer you the second half of the experience - free of charge, of course!" The maid pouted, "It's just a harmless little ear cleaning session, after all~!"

Ear cleaning? Leaving ourselves in the hands of someone aiding and abetting the gangs of this City could be incredibly bad news. Kiara and I arein a hurry - in a hurry to stop this war between the Shrimps and the Deadbeats. And yet - if this Fauna lady is as close to Gura as she seems to be, then this cafe just might have a lot of evidence against the Shrimps.

Because of that… It's time for an investigation.

Ame took off her fedora and accepted Fauna's invitation.

"Thank you kindly. We'll be in your care, ma'am."

…

Queenpins

Kirin Me Softly

…

To Be Continued