Disclaimer: Don't own YGO, only Sekka and anyone else that isn't in the show. I don't own the lyrics to 'Ugly' by The Exies either.
A/N: Hello, hello! How's it going everyone? This chapter is going to be set about two weeks after the last chapter, but it's going to have all the info that's relevant to the story in italics. I figured I'd be boring if I went day by day forever so ya……….. Also, some memories of her childhood, also in italics, I just hope you guys don't get confused, but I'll try to make it clear and understandable to the best of my ability.
Ok, seeing as next to no-one gave me dream ideas, I would say that the chapter would have to go out to GothPoetofDarkness15 seeing as only one other person guessed, but she was the closet so enjoy the chapter!
Anyways, The song for this chapter may not seem to fit the chapter at all times, but other then being just this chapter, it's the stories 'theme song' if you will and I needed a place to put it and this seemed best.. Anyways, without further ado, shout-outs:
Crystal56: Hey man, don't apoligize for being werid! Hell, if I apoligized for everytime I was weird...that's all you'd hear from me, lol! Actually, the poem that I wrote was speacially for this fic, but it could apply to the 'old me' as I would call it, seeing as I've trhough a lot of changes in the past few months. Good guess, but Gothic was closer...sorry.
WolfOfShadow: Wow, that is a long time without sleep, lol! Anyways, thanks for liking the poem and the song choice. Try to download the song if you can it's AWESOME. You have no idea how fucking long it took me to find a song for that chapter but then I heard this one and I'm like "Thank God!", lol. Anways, hope you like the chapter!
olifantje-emma: I know, I love Belgian waffles even though I've had them like, once in my life, lol! Anyways, here's your update, hope ya like it!
CRAZYABOUTANIME: Yes, In Open My Eyes, it does involve Yami/OC as well as Seto/OC, Bakura/OC. and Duke/OC. I can't right a fic without an OC unless it's a one shot...go figure. It's not my best fic ever, but check it out if you want! Anways, catch ya later!
kirei31: Hey! New reviewer- Hug - lol, hope you don't mind. Yes, you can never give up, because things do get better, and I'm living proof of it! Anyways, hope you like this chapter!
GothPoetofDarkness15: Congrats on getting the right answer! It was about getting over her past and learnign to live in her future, thus saving it. Does that make sense? Meh. Anyways, hope you like this chapter, it's yours, lol!
Ok then, with all that said, on with the chapter!
Like Petals From A Rose
Chapter 14
Back Across The Ocean
Two weeks later I stood on the balcony that came out of my room.
The sun was full and golden - the promise of life.
I didn't know exactly where Yami was at the moment, but I wasn't worried in the least.
Memories of the past weeks swirled in my mind - the first two weeks back to school as a couple. I hadn't been easy, but I knew that I could do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
Not a word, not a tear, not a whisper.
Are you ugly
A liar like me
The dawn of Monday burned bright, not shadowed by any promise of rain to steal my strength.
The back of the limo was comfortable, enhanced by the man I was leaning on. I was nervous, so nervous that for a moment, I was sure that I was going to be sick, but thankfully, the butterflies in my stomach hadn't completely taken over.
Maybe the hardest moment had been getting out of the limo - dressed as a proper girl, in a casual T-shirt with a sweater over it - I wasn't quite comfortable displaying my healing scars just yet - and a pair of baggy cargo's that weren't overly gothic.
Serenity, the little sister of Yami's only real friend, Joey Wheeler, had insisted on taking me shopping.
The moment the door opened, revealing the renewed and refreshed Sekka Tate that I was, I knew I couldn't go back now, as much as I wanted to run and hide like a child.
However, I steeled my nerve and stepped out of the car.
A user with a lost soul
Someone you don't know
Instantly, silence reined the school grounds, followed by the explosive sound of whispering.
Yami rested a hand on my shoulder and I smiled gently, walking past a group of girl without so much as a glance toward them.
Let them say what they want, do what they want.
They were nothing to me - tiny pesky bugs that stung for a moment before the pain vanished as if it never was.
Maybe the old me would have cared, would have hated them, hurt them.
But I wasn't that girl anymore.
She was dead.
She had been thrown to the wasteside on the Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, burned, and from the ashes a phoenix had emerged.
I was that phoenix, my life recharged from death, my red and golden wings proudly displayed as I soared into the blue sky.
Money, it's no cure
A sickness so pure
I smiled at the memory, at my achievement.
I may seem small to anyone else, but to me, well, it seemed the only good thing I had done in my entire life besides falling in love.
The door opened inside my room and seconds later, he stepped onto the balcony, standing beside me - my only ally in the private war I fought.
"What are you think about?"
"Life." I replied with a smile. It struck at bizarre this love was. We didn't speak a lot, but we understood each other's chemistry beyond belief.
"And?"
"It's not so bad." He smiled and I leaned into him, feeling his body warmth threw the shirt he wore.
Are you like me
Are you ugly
"Hey Yami, get down here!" I cringed at the sound of Trish - Yami's ex-girlfriends - voice.
"You better go." I said. "I'll stay here."
"Why not come with me?"
"Alright." I turned towards the door, opened it and walked downstairs, him behind me. The moment she saw me, I saw a flicker of loathing on her face before it was replaced with a false smile.
"Hi Sekka." She said in a fake, high pitched cheery voice that was annoying as hell. "Didn't you'd be here." She said the last sentence in a friendly voice, but I could sense the storm that was lurking under the artificial sunshine.
We are dead
We are alone
You know were far from sober
"I live here." I replied coolly
"Oh." She turned to Yami, silently snubbing me. "I was wondering if you wanted to come to the club tonight with me and some of my friends." He glanced at me and I shrugged.
"Not really." She looked disappointed for a moment before she smiled, one that looked rather a lot like the smile of a snake before it bites you, and I wondered what her poison was.
Were are fake
We are afraid
"Oh." She answered. "Well, I can understand if you want to stay here and have fun. I mean, it's not like your not having your own private party in your club every night ne?" I had never seen anyone's head snap in one direction so fast in my life.
"Leave Trish." He growled at the blonde that just smiled and turned away, casting one last look - and comment - over her shoulder.
"Well, just remember babe, if you ever want to get rid of easy trash - I'll be here." My fingernails dug into my palms so hard that I was sure I had to be bleeding. This time, it was different - this wasn't some petty rumor, this was my pride.
I started half-walking, half-running in her direction, fury written on every feature. In the end though, I was thankful for the hand that grasped my arm, stopping me.
"Leave her." Yami muttered in my ear. "She's not worth it." Her brown eyes met mine and, although she was smiling pleasantly, her eyes were smirking me, taunting me, daring me to react in front of him - to show him the killer that everyone was sure I was inside.
I said nothing to her, only turned away.
But I knew that she wouldn't let it go at this, no.
The rumors, the rivalry - it was only beginning.
You know it's far from over
I guess my eyes must have darkened to his view, because he was peering at me when my mind returned to the present.
"Sekka?"
"huh?" I said, turning to him.
"Something wrong?" I shook my head and grinned at him.
"I'm fine, just thinking of how much we've been through these past two weeks."
We are dead
We are alone
You know were far from sober
"Don't worry about Trish." He replied, with a little smile on his face. "I broke up with her when I found out that she was cheating on me with one of my 'friends'."
"Some friend."
"That's the way it is when you have money behind your name." He answered with a sigh. Silence ruled for a few moments before I spoke again.
"There are more important things." I said, and turned to kiss him soundly on his lips. That was another thing that I was thankful for. Despite us living together, and sleeping in the same bed - I had my own room, but I had never slept in it - we had a very non-sexual relationship. Sure, he aroused me, but there was no real tension.
He smiled at me in a slightly teasing way that told me that he was about to bug me in some way.
"You know - the prom's getting closer." I groaned and playfully slapped him.
"Don't remind me." He laughed at this. We had been talking before when I blandly told him that dresses and me DID NOT MIX! And ever since, it had been the annoying stick that he used to poke me with.
"I should have Serenity take you shopping." This was said with an impish grin of amusement as my expression changed to what I must have assumed was a comical expression.
"NO!" I shouted then laughed.
Look closer
Are you like me
Are you ugly
The next day, after Trish had come to Yami's, I wasn't surprised to see people giving me disapproving glances, with men wolf whistling and jeering at me with sexuality.
For once, it was me that had to hold Yami back from attacking one male that freely invited me to his 'private party'.
Yes, I was angry, my pride taking a few good knocks, but for some reason, I found that I could restrain myself from using physical violence. Maybe because I had beaten that man at the beach for all the men that had hurt me.
My slat had been wiped clean.
2 days later, I found out the rumor that Trish had spread that had caused some much male attention:
That when she had come to visit, she had walked in on us.
I could have killed her - literally.
I guess everyone's assumptions on one thing was right though - I did have a killer locked inside me somewhere. In a deep place within my soul that I even avoided from fear of the fire that burned there.
And yet, I did nothing to Trish.
To the men of the school I was whore, a slut.
But I wasn't worried.
I knew that in time that - as rumors so often do - it would fade out, fizzle out of memory and time.
But until then, they couldn't hurt me.
Their words couldn't penetrate the shield that surrounded me - Yami's shield of love and trust.
Turn a blind eye
Why do I deny
Then, as I so often did, I began laughing without an inkling as to why. Maybe it was because I hadn't laughed for 6 years of my life and I felt I needed to make up for lost joy.
Who the fuck knew, what mattered was that I could laugh again.
That I came here
So I'd die happy
He gave me an odd look and shook his head.
"You keep doing and people are going to start wondering." He joked and I just smiled at him, actually having cheeks now. Since I had started having three meals everyday like normal people, I had started gaining weight - which was a good thing. I had looked like a skeleton before with my skin stretched over my ribs like elastic.
"If it's any help - I think they already wonder." At this he full-out laughed, but my brows were furrowed in thought with a question that had been nagging at me for awhile. "So Yami, when are your parents getting back from vacation." He shrugged.
"Who knows." He answered, and underneath his tone I could here a little bit of bitterness. "They just said that they'd be back in awhile." I nodded, and although my home situation had been completely different, I knew what it was like to feel abandoned by my parents.
All the problems that I went through in that home I had kept locked up as always, never reveling the flaw in my role on the stage of lies.
"They should care about you more."
"Oh, they care." He answered. "They just don't show it." Again I nodded, visions of my own past swimming in my head, bringing me back to the time I ran away.
A strain of cancer
Chokes the answers
I was sitting up in my room, a book propped open on my lap when I heard the door open and close, announcing that my parents had returned. And, although I would never in my life show it to them, the simple sound of the door always send a shiver of secret dread through me.
More so, when I heard my father calling my name.
"SEKKA!" I rolled my eyes and marked my place in 'The Vampire Lestat' before going down the stairs to be greeted with two angry faces. I rolled my eyes again, already mad at them.
"What the fuck did I do now?" I bit out, glaring heavily.
"Don't use that tone with me missy." My father shot back, and my chest burned with fire. I hated them - I really did.
"I'm fourteen, I'll do whatever the fuck I want." I retorted, and instantly, my mother rose to my father's defense.
"Respect your father."
"Fuck you." And new by the way that their eyes darkened that I was in for it now. They yelled at me until I couldn't handle it anymore and smashed one of the plates.
I knew it was stupid - it was late and my father was already drunk.
He shoved the broom into my hands and yelled at me to 'clean it the fuck up now', and I did, anger still boiling in me. Then he was yelling at me, telling to clean it up when I already was and shouting that I wasn't even holding the broom right.
"Fine!" I shouted, slamming the broom to the floor. "You fucking do it."
I went to walk past him when he grabbed my arm and flung me to the ground, telling me to clean it up. One of the small glass shards had dug into my palm and I ripped it out, sending a stream of blood to the floor.
He stared at me for a moment before yelling at me to clean up the blood as well.
I held the shard to my wrist, making a clean cut.
Before I knew what happened he had grabbed me by the shoulders shaking me.
"What the fuck are you doing huh?" He yelled this over and over until it was a blur of words. Meanwhile, I was still bleeding, not giving a fuck. Finally, I pushed my drunk father of me.
"Fuck you!" I yelled this before dashing up the stairs. He followed me, grabbing me by the hair when he saw that I was throwing my clothes all into one bag.
I don't really remember anything until I was running out the door and into the inky black night. I don't remember wrapping my wrist in a ripped towel from the bathroom, only my mother and fathers shouts as I ran from the house as I possible could.
I didn't look back, if fact, I had erased them from my memory as best I could until two years later when my father died of a alcohol related heart-attack.
It was my mother that had called me - don't ask me how she got the damn number, I was living with Marik then - inviting me to the funeral.
I had slammed the receiver down without an answer, that was the last time I spoken to her.
Needless to say, I hadn't gone to the funeral.
I hadn't wanted to, hadn't even cried for his death.
Severed the bastard right, I had thought. Served him right that his own addiction should kill him.
I hated him that much.
Are you ugly
A liar like me
I didn't notice that I was crying until Yami's hand brushed my cheek and I saw that droplet that landed there.
I suddenly felt stupid and gazed at the ground which was suddenly fascinating. He didn't say anything to me, didn't ask why I was crying - only wrapped his arms around me, smothering my face in his chest.
And suddenly, as my mouth had a mind of it's own, my story of that night and of his death spilled forth like a tide of truth, rushing out of my soul like the tears that dampened my eyes.
We are dead
We are alone
You know were far from sober
"Maybe you should call her." He said after a few moments of heavy silence. I stared up at him, shock written all over my face.
"Nani?"
"Call her." He said softly. "She must be worried about you."
"I can't." I answered back, not even able to comprehend to idea of speaking to my mother. I had turned my back on her and everyone else so long ago that could barely even remember a time when we weren't divided by the deep sea of bitterness between us.
"Why not?" He asked me, and I just looked down. How could I tell him just how I felt?
"Because…….." I began, trying to grasp the words that were running around in my head.
"You don't still blame her do you?" If I wasn't so distraught at the moment, I would have laughed. No, that wasn't why - not even close. Instead I only shook me head.
Were are fake
We are afraid
You know it's far from over
"I can't because……….." I faltered for a moment, willing the words to spring through my mouth. "Because I don't think she loves me anymore." There, I had said it, but now that I heard it out loud it sounded stupid and childish, like something that a small toddler would say when his mother yelled at him for eating a cookie before dinner. 'I don't think Mommy loves me anymore', but this had been so much deeper.
"She's your mother Sekka.." He began softly. "She'll always love you." I wanted to believe him I, I really did, more then anything, but some reason………… I couldn't.
Maybe I didn't have enough faith in the power of mother and daughter, or maybe it was fear that was holding me back, fear that she would leave me the way I left her - completely alone with the shards of a broken life that could never be mended.
We are dead
We are alone
You know were far from sober
"Call her." He said again, gently coaxing me back inside and towards the phone that rested beside my bed. To most, it would have been a luxury, a privileged device to call up friends on - to me, it was a death sentence in disguise.
Look closer
Are you like me
Are you ugly
"Yami I-" But my words died as he put the cordless phone in my hands. I looked up at him, silently pleading him not to do this to me, but at the same time, a secret part of me was thankful. "Who says she even still lives there!"
"Try." He replied. It was stern, but not commanding, gentle, but not soft.
With painstaking slowness I dialed the number, how I still remembered it was a mystery. The phone rang once………twice………
Each second seemed like an eternity, stretched out to deliberately make each one more agonizing then the last. I almost jumped when the voice on the other line answered.
"Hello?" I nearly dropped the phone in shock. It was her voice, no denying it. I froze - what would I say ' Hey mom! How's it going, sorry I haven't called in five years. By the way, how was dad's funeral? Oh really, lovely!' ya right. "Hello?" He voice came over the line and I was both hoping ad dreading that she would hand up.
And then, before I knew it, words had sprang from my mouth.
"Mom!" I said into the phone, willing my voice not to crack.
"Sekka?" He voiced was shocked, thrilled and leery at the same time. It ripped my heart out that she would leery over a phone call from me. Not that she didn't have reason.
I don't care
You don't care
I'm bitter
Your angry
I nodded vigorously, even though I knew she couldn't see through the receiver. I stole a glance at Yami who had a smile of his face.
I could have smacked him.
"Mom." I said again, I don't know why - I knew it was stupid - but I was crying again as if I was on retarded reality show (A/N: I'm not addicted to Survivor! I'm not, I swear!"
"Sekka! Where are you, where-" A wave of questions washed over me, questions I didn't know how to answer, questions that scared me, questions that would force me to go deep into that murder's well.
I don't care
You don't care
You love you
Just like me
"Mom, I'm fine." I said, and it was true. Granted, if I called her five months ago, I would have said that I hated the world and everything in it. "That's all I can say right now. I just wanted to say that I love you - and that I'm sorry for everything."
She replied with the stereotype motherly comforts, which although I found horribly cliché, I still loved to hear them for the first time in five years.
And, it made me wonder too - how could I have blamed her for what happened in my life. Someone can't help you unless they know about the damn problem in the first place.
I blame you
You blame me
I'm bitter
Your angry
"I love you." I said again, praying that she would know and understand how true those words were, and the tone of her voice when she replied told me all I needed to. Yes, she believed me, she knew.
We said a few more things, and I told I had to go.
I was glad that I called her, but it was still hard to talk to her. She asked me where I was and I told her I was ok, that I was safe, and then I placed the phone back on the charger.
I don't care
You don't care
You love you
Like me
I was shaking, but from what, I still don't know. And I was crying again.
Fucking wuss.
I hated crying more then anything, but it seemed to be my number one activity lately. I could have hit myself for being so stupid.
How could he stand me? I wondered when he wrapped his arms around me. Honestly, in less then a month I had displayed insane cutting problems, psychopathic rage, maniacal fits of unexplained laughter, and now chronic hysterical crying.
I was really falling apart at the seams.
Damn emotions.
We are dead
We are alone
You know were far from sober
"I'm really crazy aren't I?" I muttered to myself as I dried my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater. He grinned a little.
"No." He answered softly. "Just rediscovering life. If you had been acting any other way, I would have been concerned."
Were are fake
We are afraid
You know it's far from over
I didn't say anything for a few moments. I felt stupid and weak……….which I hated. I felt like this crud display of emotional unstableness belittled me somehow.
It embarrassed me to appear this vulnerable.
The rest of the day was easier, and I didn't have anymore breakdowns, but I was holding my breath - waiting for the slightest little thing to set me off again. No I was remembering why I had myself emotionless.
The night came upon us quickly it seemed.
We are dead
We are alone
You know were far from sober
Maybe it was just my imagination, but it seemed that even the stars were burning brighter for me, the night sky not so much as a black void, but it's own universe bustling with life and light.
That evening, staring at the stars out of Yami's bedroom window, my mother again returned to my thoughts.
I had always try to mold myself to be the opposite of her, but in the end, it only made me more like her. It had always seemed like we were from different planets, but that was changing.
Look closer
Are you like me
Are you ugly
We weren't so different after all, her and I.
We were both women formerly alone in this world, seeking out love and affection. We were both human, the same blood running in both our veins.
No that I thought about it, really thought about it without a child's bitterness - we were more like each other then I could ever dream.
Are you ugly
Are you ugly
I heard him moving behind me, and I let one last smile out before I climbed into the warm bed.
It would be another five days before I would encounter another mother - Yami's.
A/N:
Well, there it is! I know it could have been a little better, but I'm satisfied with the way it turned out. Next chapter there's going to be a little conflict and then, hopefully, the chapter after that will be the prom - which really sets things rolling. I'm guessing that this fic will be ending at twenty chapters or so, maybe twenty-two, not sure yet. Anyways, until then, I would love if you could leave a review and tell me what you think seeing as this fic sorta seems to be losing steam in the review department, meaning that their coming slower - not that I'm complaining, just a little concerned. Meh, anyways, hope to see you soon!