I am very sorry about the lateness of this update, my computer got a virus and crashed. Please forgive me for any inconvenience. I promise I'll get these next few chapters up as quickly as I can type. Thank you for your patients and your reviews.

Disclaimer: All Jedi Apprentice characters are property of Jude Watson, only the plot is mine.

Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven

Chapter 9: Vigil

The medic on board the transport had been able to path the majority of Obi-Wan's wounds. Though not much could be done about his mental state, in order to treat him he had to be given a sedative. Every time someone would get near he would pull away and start sobbing even more, most of what he said was either incoherent or pleas to Harvey. Now he lay sedated on the sleep couch in Qui-Gon's cabin. There was only a day left till they reached Coruscant, Qui-Gon hoped that the Healers would be able to help once they arrived.

He watched the boy who laid motionless save for the strained rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He was ignoring his own wounds, instead focusing his energy on the ones that scared Obi-Wan's skin, the ones that cut deeper would have to wait until the boy was coherent enough to have a conversation. He knew that Obi-Wan wouldn't speak to the Healers about it and he knew that when he did get him back that he shouldn't wake up alone.

The only clothing that he had put on the boy was a pair of soft white shorts. He feared putting a shirt on him because of the lashes that were on his back. Obi-Wan had many wounds: three broken ribs, two bruised, several shock stick burns on his abdomen and face, a gash in the back of his head, cuts in his wrists and ankles from his restraints, both shoulders had been dislocated, and lacerations on his back from an electrowhip. Not to mention the horrible looking surgical wound where his kidney used to be. But the one that made Qui-Gon cringe the most, the one that would stick in his mind for the rest of his days was the brand on his right shoulder blade, a broken circle. Xanatos had marked him with his insignia so that no matter if the boy survived this ordeal he would always remember the aggressor and Qui-Gon would forever feel the sting of quilt knowing that it was his former apprentice who had done this.

A fever had set in from the infections on his wounds, Qui-Gon was able to combat it and keep it at bay for the majority of the journey but now it was spiking. Qui-Gon stared at the numbers on the thermometer for less then a moment before he dashed into the fresher and filled the bathtub with ice cold water. He knew that in Obi-Wan's state he would be more susceptible to illness from the cold water but he also knew that with a temperature of 106.6 he could sustain brain damage if it rose any higher.

Scooping the boy into his arms he quickly took him into the other room and lowered him into the water. Thankfully the sedative was still working or Obi-Wan would be freezing to death. Once he had him settled he pulled of the shorts from under the water, he knew that once he brought him out of the cold water the wet clothes would only serve to make him sicker. Leaning over the tub he laid Obi-Wan's head in the crook of his arm and stroked his face gently speaking reassuring words that he hoped weren't falling on dead ears, though the words were more being spoke to comfort him.

As the time ticked away so did the fever, satisfied that it was within a favorable range at 103.1 he took the still warm boy out of the water, drying him as best he could before putting a fresh pair of clothing on him and depositing him back on the sleep couch. He applied more salves and ointments to the wounds before tucking the blankets around the boy's shoulders.

He was relieved that the fever had gone down, but was still worried at its presences. The fever wasn't the only thing that worried him about the boy, the wounds, the psychosis, the paleness of his skin, and then there was the small frame. Clearly Obi-Wan was malnourished, he had to be after being tortured but this was worse then that. His pale, almost translucent skin clung so tightly to his bones that you could see every vein, every sinew, every tendon. It had been quite some time indeed since the boy had eaten, judging by the dark circles under his eyes and the tautness of his skin, the loss of consciousness and the sedatives was his only source of rest.

How had he let this go this far? Qui-Gon felt the weight of quilt as he looked down at the boy. He had failed another apprentice, he hoped Obi-Wan would survive. Even if it meant his fall to the darkness to become yet another enemy for him to face down the road, all he wanted was to see life in his eyes again even if they burned with the fire of vengeance within them. There was something that told him that Obi-Wan would not fall into darkness, that he was strong with the light. Impatience and anger were two traits that both of his apprentices shared but what set them apart was Obi-Wan's almost insatiable need to help even at the cost of one's own life, like a true Jedi and Xanatos' need to always be right, always be on top. Yes, he had failed both of them but he knew that his failings with Obi-Wan would not turn him as it did his first.

Two days Qui-Gon had been on this vigil, he couldn't remember how long it had been since he had actually rested before that. However long it had been he was really feeling it now. His eyes drooped with the weight of much needed sleep, it took all the strength he could muster to keep them open. He worried that if he did sleep that he would be unable to help Obi-Wan should the fever spike again, or that Obi-Wan would wake while he slumbered, but he also knew that if he didn't sleep he would be useless to the boy.

With a reluctant sigh he laid down next to Obi-Wan, bringing the boys head to rest on his shoulder as he put his arm around him holding him closely. Within a matter of moments Qui-Gon fell into a restless, dreamless, deep sleep.

Sometime later Qui-Gon was awakened by the sound of an announcement coming over the speakers on the ship. There was a problem with one of the engines and they were making an emergency landing on the nearby planet Gia. Qui-Gon had heard of the planet before, but in his extensive travels had yet to visit it. From what he had heard it was a beautiful, tranquil planet filled with lush gardens with the most fragrant exquisite flowers, putting those of Altarra to shame. He thought perhaps the soothing environment would help Obi-Wan better then the Healers would.

Qui-Gon froze in terror as he realized that he was the sole occupant of the sleep couch. The boy was gone. Calming himself he reached out to the Force, he could feel the boy's presence in the fresher, as his head cleared he could hear the sound of the shower running. With a relieved sigh he swung his legs over the edge of the sleep couch and crossed the room into the fresher. He couldn't help but feel the foreboding as he reached out his hand to open the shower door.

Qui-Gon's breath caught in his throat as he saw Obi-Wan sitting, still in his pajamas, hugging his knees to his chest rocking back and forth as the scalding hot water washed over him. "Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon quickly turned off the water, as the shower stopped he could see the tears falling from Qbi-Wan's eyes as he stared off into nothing rocking himself back and forth.

"I can't get clean." His small, trembling voice uttered as he looked up at, or rather through Qui-Gon. "I can't get clean no matter what I do. It's still there. It won't go away."

Tbc.