Sorry about the lateness, I've been trying to post this since early Wednesday morning and my document manager wasn't working.

Warning: The is a little (actually a lot) of graphicness in this chapter but I felt that it would better help the reader to understand what Obi-Wan was seeing when he looked at Harvey. How his injuries are described is how Obi-Wan sees him.

Disclaimer: All Jedi Apprentice characters are property of Jude Watson, only the plot is mine.

Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven

Chapter 10: A moment for all eternity

"I can't get clean." His small, trembling voice uttered as he looked up at, or rather through Qui-Gon. "I can't get clean no matter what I do. It's still there. It won't go away." Tears continued to fall as Qui-Gon froze as he stared at Obi-Wan's tortured frame rocking back and forth. Shaking off the chill that tingled from the base of spine through every vertebra, he scooped the boy up into his arms out of the bathtub. Sitting him down on the sink he started pulling the wet clothes off, he knew that if they stayed on it could potentially make the boy's fever worsen.

"Obi-Wan, what won't come off? I don't se anything." He asked as he started drying him off. He needed to keep him talking, perhaps he would be able to get to the bottom of things but at the very least Obi-Wan may realize he is not hallucinating..

"It's my fault. He's dead. It's all my fault, I couldn't help him." Obi-Wan's voice was barely above a whisper as he started it wring his hands, as if something were there. "It won't come off."

"Obi-Wan, what happened to Bruck was not your fault. It was an accident. You did your best to help him." Bruck, was he felling guilty because he was unable to help him. Bruck was the only person Qui-Gon could think of that Obi-Wan could possibly be talking about.

"There was so much blood. How could he have still been alive when they brought him in?" Obi-Wan gave a sad smile as he laughed and looked blankly up at Qui-Gon again. "It was gone, his eye, it was gone."

Qui-Gon remembered the boy from his dream, one green eye. Was this the boy Obi-Wan was talking about? Was this Harvey? " Harvey? Are you talking about Harvey?" The small, sad smile that had played on Obi-Wan's lips vanished at the mention of his name.

"We promised. We promised and I couldn't help him." For the first time Obi-Wan's blood shot tortured cerulean eyes focused on Qui-Gon. "Is that why he won't go away? He's always here, always watching me. But he won't speak. He still helped me, kept his promise even though I failed."

Qui-Gon wrapped a dry towel around Obi-Wan and carried him into the other room and laid him down on the sleep couch, laying himself down beside the trembling boy holding him close to his chest. " Harvey is still here? Where is he?" Qui-Gon asked as he stroked Obi-Wan's wet hair.

He followed Obi-Wan's finger as he pointed to the corner of the room. "Always here. I tried, but I couldn't help him. I couldn't save him. I'm sorry."

Qui-Gon could see nothing, but he knew that quilt could be a powerful emotion and could give hallucinations of the things that one regrets. He had seen this boy in his dreams, broken bloody, one piercing green eye. It had made him sick just seeing him once, how long had Obi-Wan been seeing him? "Tell me what happened to Harvey."

"No." Obi-Wan shook his head lightly. Qui-Gon could feel the warm wetness of more tears on his chest.

"Its okay, maybe if you talk about it, it will help Harvey find his way home." It was the only thing Qui-Gon could think of to say. He knew that Obi-Wan wanted to help his fallen friend and maybe by talking about it he would help himself as well. It would certainly make Qui-Gon feel better to know what was going on inside the boy's head and give him a better fix on how to help him.

(Flashback)

"What happened!" Obi-Wan called to Cerasi as she helped a boy to the ground. He screamed in pain as he grabbed his leg.

"He and Keegan were outside. The Elder's decided to use them for target practice. Keegan got shot in the arm and Deo fell over some rubble taking cover and broke his leg. Can you set it?" She was kneeling by Deo trying to comfort him as best she could.

Obi-Wan knelled by the boy's legs surveying the damage. He'd never set a broken leg before but he had an idea how, "Is it bad?" Deo asked flinching as Obi-Wan touched it.

"No, there was this one time back at the Temple when a couple of my friends and I were messing around on some hover boards and I got to going a little to fast and wasn't paying attention to where I was going and BAM!" The boy screamed as Obi-Wan snapped the broken bone back into place. "Right into the wall. Now that was bad."

"Cerasi! Obi-Wan!" A girl screamed as two boys behind her brought in a stretcher. "It's Harvey, he's hurt bad!" Bad. Bad didn't even begin to cover what was lying on that stretcher as they laid it down.

Obi-Wan could feel his stomach turn as he looked in horror at the bloody mess that was lying before him. "Obi-Wan?" Harvey's voice painfully asked in a low, almost inaudible tone. He was still alive! How could he have survived!

"What happened?" Obi-Wan was unable to hear his own voice as he uttered the question, his eyes never leaving his young friend. He barely heard the answer as he was informed that Harvey had stepped on a landmine. All of his attention was focused on the bloody mound of what used to be a person. His left leg was missing from the knee down, his right one lay open muscle exposed, three fingers were missing off of his right hand, his left hand was simply gone, there was a gaping wound in his abdomen his intestines threatening to fall out if he is turned in the wrong direction, just above his right eye was a large gash in his head apart of the skull exposed, as Obi-Wan looked closer he could see that the right eye was gone as well leaving the left staring at him.

"Help me, please." Harvey coughed, blood sputtering out of his mouth. With all the blood it was hard to notice his bottom lip was no longer there.

"What do I do? I don… I don't know what to do." Obi-Wan said as he knelt down beside his friend unsure what wound to try to fix first, it hadn't quite sank in yet that none of the injuries could be fixed. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes as he frantically tried to stop the bleeding from Harvey's head.

"Obi-Wan, I need you. Please make it stop. Please make it go away." He pleaded with his one green eye, peering deeply in to Obi-Wan's.

"I'm trying, just hold on. Please hold on."

"No, Obi-Wan, you can't help me that way." He winced in pain, the words almost catching in his throat as he spoke. "It's to much, you can't save me, but you can make it all stop."

"What? How?" Obi-Wan asked, his eyes wide as he breathed heavily.

"End it." He said simply, pleadingly. He didn't want to feel the pain, he wanted it to be over.

"No, no Harvey please! It's not that bad! I can fix it! I promised you I would help if you were ever hurt, I don't break promises." He couldn't, no he wouldn't do this. He could fix it, couldn't he?

"Please, please just make it all stop. It's not your fault. Please, this is the only way you can help me."

"No." He couldn't hold back the tears any more as they fell freely from his eyes. "No, please don't ask this of me. You are my friend, please, stay with me."

"I'll always be with you, Obi-Wan, so long as you remember me." He gave Obi-Wan one last pleading look.

He weakened under his friends resolve, he didn't want him to be in pain any longer. Obi-Wan looked away for a moment before reaching a trembling hand out to retrieve a blaster. "I'm sorry." He whispered as he looked back at Harvey. "I'm sorry I failed you." Harvey was tried to respond but the blood was building up in his throat, all he could reply with was painful gargling coughs. Leaning down, Obi-Wan put his free hand around Harvey resting his cheek on his forehead as he brought the blaster to his head, shuttering as he felt Harvey's last tortured breath being breathed into his ear before he pulled the trigger.

Nothing, no noise, no movements, nothing. Obi-Wan couldn't even muster the energy to cry as he sat holding his friend's lifeless body in his arms. It seemed in that moment that everything else in the universe was gone, all that remained was one lifeless boy and one that could only wish to be.

Tbc