Thank you for your reviews, and your continued patience. I know it took a while to post this chapter but I had a mild case of writers block, not to worry I'm all better now..

Disclaimer: All Jedi Apprentice characters belong to Jude Watson, only the plot is mine.

Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven

Chapter 12: Guilt

Gia is a beautiful planet filled with lush gardens with the most fragrant and colorful flowers this side of the Canthos System. The passengers that were temporarily laid over on this beautiful planet had been given room and bored over looking on of the finest gardens in the capital city of Tria. The Jedi's room a particularly good view, thus Qui-Gon stood hoping the scenery would calm his troubled mind as he watched his young companion toss restlessly in his sleep.

He was thankful that Obi-Wan still slumbered, it was much needed rest that the boy had deprived himself of, but Qui-Gon also feared that he was being tortured in his dreams as well. The boy had remained asleep during the move off the ship and while Gia's healers had fixed the rest of his wounds. Out of the corner of his eye, Qui-Gon noticed a slight change in the boy's movements. In one quick graceful step he moved to the sleep couch and sat one the edge resting his hand on Obi-Wan's chest. Cerulean eyes blinked heavily as they opened meeting his own before moving there gaze to the corner of the room.

"How are you feeling?" Qui-Gon asked as he felt the boy's forehead checking for a fever. It had not returned since it had spiked on the ship, but he was still concerned that it might. Obi-Wan did not respond, instead he rolled onto his side and curled into a fetal position, holding himself as though if he let go he would fall to pieces. "Obi-Wan, I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

"You can't help me because I can't help anyone." The boy stated in monotone as he curled into himself even farther.

"That is not true, you have helped me many times. Even now you have made me realize that I cannot hold onto my past mistakes, if I do then I will only make them again and again. You have taught me many things, Padawan." He ran his fingers gently through Obi-Wan's ginger hair as he spoke.

"I'm not your Padawan anymore."

"You are, if you were not then I wouldn't have been able to find you. Our bond is still strong, the Force brought us together and wants us to stay that way."

"No." Obi-Wan's voice trembled as he spoke.

"Why not?" Qui-Gon was slightly taken aback by this.

"Because I will fail you just as I failed Harvey and you too will stand in the corner and haunt my dreams. You are better off without me."

"No, I'm not. I'm miserable without you." Qui-Gon sighed heavily as he continued to stroke Obi-Wan's hair. "You did not fail Harvey. You did your best to save him, it is unfortunate what happened but it was no fault of yours."

"I shot him."

"He asked you to, he was suffering and you gave him peace."

"Peace? If I gave him peace why is he still here?"

How could he answer that question? The answer he chose to give could either be the boy's salvation or his execution. Why was he still here? If he had asked Obi-Wan to end his suffering, what made him want to stay and torture his friend? Surely he wouldn't, it didn't make any sense for him to still be here unless… "Maybe he is still here because you won't let him go, because you cannot forgive yourself. Maybe he isn't here at all, he's simply a projection of your own guilt."

Obi-Wan sat up and looked Qui-Gon in the eye. "So I should just forgive myself for murdering my friend." There was a slight tinge of anger in his words.

"No, I'm saying you should give yourself and Harvey closure." Anger, at least he was able to get something out of the boy.

"Closure? How am I supposed to do that! Harvey is dead and it is my fault! I killed him! I couldn't keep my promise," He tried to fight against the tears that were forming in his eyes but surrendered to them. "he's dead and it's all because of me."

"Harvey wouldn't want you to…" Qui-Gon's hand was pushed away as he reached to wipe away the tears from Obi-Wan's cheek.

"Don't pretend like you know what he wants! You never meet him, you don't know him at all!" Once again the anger came seething out past the tears.

"No, I don't know him, but I did see him. I know that you promised that if one of you was in trouble the other would come. I heard you speak his name in my dream and then I saw him the way you described him, the wounds, one green eye. I know that he cared about you."

"How am I supposed to forget? How?" Obi-Wan laughed as he glanced at the corner of the room again and the down to his hands as he started to wring them. "He's still there, the blood is still here." The anger faded once again into sorrow as he sobbed into his hands for a moment before letting his bloodshot blue green eyes lock onto Qui-Gon's "I just want to go to sleep." He said trembling. "I just want to go to sleep and not wake up again."

"Obi-Wan, listen to me." Qui-Gon pleaded as he took both of Obi-Wan's hands. "I know it is hard, but you must forgive yourself, you don't have to forget, that's impossible, but you must forgive yourself. You did not kill Harvey, the blood is not on your hands, it was the war that took him." He shouldn't have left him there! Qui-Gon remembered the look of determination in Obi-Wan's eyes as he stood against him to help the Young. More and more he felt his failings as a Master, more and more he felt his failings as a Jedi. "I'm sorry I failed you, son. I never should have left you there alone. It is my fault that you are suffering now."

"You never failed me." Obi-Wan looked confused as he stared into his Master's sorrowful eyes. "I was the one who failed."

"No, Obi-Wan, you we're doing what you thought was right and I turned my back on you. And when you came back I didn't listen to you, I assumed the worst instead of listening to the truth. If I had only listened to you Xanatos wouldn't have taken you and you wouldn't be seeing things." Qui-Gon turned his face away to hide the tear that fell from his eyes.

He closed his eyes as he felt Obi-Wan's hands slip out of his. They fluttered open once more as he felt Obi-Wan's arms wrap around his neck as the boy pressed his light frame into Qui-Gon in a tight hug, his head resting on Qui-Gon's shoulder. "I never meant to hurt you." He said sobbing as he brought his knees around so that he was almost straddling the older Jedi. "I'm sorry."

Qui-Gon retuned the embrace, gently caressing the boy's back. "I never wanted to hurt you either. You mean worlds to me, Obi-Wan, I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you." Qui-Gon did his best to fight away the tears that gathered in his eyes, but was unable to stop there siege, the two Jedi held each other in tight embrace as they wept.

Tbc.