Disclaimer: Ok, If I owned YGO, I would be some rich old person watching the non-dubbed
(aka run-over) version of my own show and rolling in cash.
A/N: Here I am……….again! Probably the second to last chapter of this fic and the epilogue and this fic is done! YAY! opps, lol it's not that I don't like this fic, it's just that I always feel warm and fuzzy inside whenever I complete something big……..like a fic, for example. Neways, I might as well get on with the shout-outs!
Crystal56: They don't like lyrics anymore? Shit news to me. Where did you see this? Anyway, I'm a bitch? HELL YES! # eyes rocket launcher# ok, that's making me a little nervous, lol. Anyways, enjoy the chapter.
InsaneShadowFan: Ok, you're confusing me. Are you insulting me or complimenting me? 0.o
yugikid: Thanks for all the compiments, and here's the next installment just for you! Hope you like it.
I am a Fruits Basket Case: LMAO, I love you're name! Anyways, take Marik and shoot him all you want, but return him for this chapter K? Lol, hope you like this chapter.
Feebeefi: Sorry, no Yami saving here! But I hope you like this chapter anyway!
WolfOfShadow: Yes, this fic is ending in two chapters, but it's been a fun ride. Anyways, I have a new fic called Tainted Wings of the Raven that's going to be replacing this one, you check it out if you want, if you haven't already. Anyways, hope you like this chapter.
Haven of Darkness: Adding now!
serpent-vampfreak: Hey you! Glad to see you coming back! Here's the next chap and review when you can!
Ok then……..on we go!
Like Petals From A Rose
Chapter 23
Childhood Memories
Death………..
It ruled every thought, every feeling, every unshed and scarlet tear inside me. I breathed it, mourned it, and tasted it. The metallic taste of the barrel still stuck to my tongue, taunting me, teasing me. At some point I had finally gotten dressed and spent my time laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling as I thought up ways of destroying myself.
Unfortunately, nothing I came up with seemed good enough. I wanted to go out with a bang, I wanted to die in a way that would haunt Marik until his deathbed. I thought of hanging myself with the sheet, but it seemed to middle ages, to cliché and boring. I couldn't shoot myself since he took the gun from me and I couldn't find anything to hold my head under water to drown myself.
My hair fanned over the pillow like a black curtain, the strands treading through my fingers. I wondered if my own fingers in my hair was the last thing I was ever going to feel. Strange, a couple days ago I was hoping and dreaming of going with Yami to college and living our lives together, maybe get married and have children. And now, I was laying on a bed in a shitty little apartment dreaming and hoping of ways to kill myself and end the life of the little mewling creature I was.
I actually thought of attacking Marik and biting his jugular, imagined the feel of his blood coating my lips and the feel of him dying under my teeth. But in the end, it just seemed so meaningless. What was the point? I would get back to Yami for maybe a night before I was gone again and I couldn't do that to him. Better to let him think that I hated him then to haunt him with the knowledge that he couldn't save me.
What he didn't know was that he had saved me. He had let me feel happiness of only for a few short months, awakened my dead heart and brought the warmth back into my body that night after the prom when I gave myself to him. After experiencing that, I really couldn't die miserable could I? My prayer had been answered and now this was the catch.
I sighed and half-expected to feel tears on my face, but there was nothing. Although I had expected tears, I wasn't surprised that they weren't there. I could feel my body shutting down slowly, loosing the will to live. My lungs wanted to stop breathing and my heart was growing old and tired.
The room was totally dark and I wouldn't want it any other way. The ceiling I was staring at was nothing but a empty abyss that I wish I could just fall into and let go of life, death and every part of my existence. My arms were numb and I wasn't even sure of they were still there. I tried to move my hand and it twitched, letting me know that I was still alive - albeit reluctantly.
I sighed, marveling at the sound of my own breath leaving my body. I don't know if it was just that death was so close to me, but everything about my body, about the life flowing through it was fascinating. I was like a child - everything about my body was new, every movement was as if I was moving for the first time. Every nerve was white-hot and I could feel my blood rushing through my veins like fire, burning from the inside out. My arm was still covered in dry blood that had turned rust-colored and flaky.
I was so mesmerized with my own body that I didn't notice the door open until I heard laughter and the sound of it slamming. The light was turned on and a small cry left my throat as the light blinded me. I closed my eyes and waited until they adjusted before opening them.
And what I saw made my blood run cold.
Four guys accompanied Marik, all of them looking hopped-up on something. Everything about there pose screamed it, from the glazed eyes, stupid grins and laughter. I instantly went on alert and backed against the headboard like a cornered cat ready to attack.
"There she is boys." Marik said, presenting me like a fucking slave on the market. "The little bitch who tried to attack me."
"And I'll do it again." I vowed, anger pulsing inside me.
"Don't worry, Sekka." He said, pronouncing my name like a poison - it was almost flattering. "These boys are gonna show you your place."
"Over my dead body." I hissed making the boys laugh.
"Feisty one is she?" One of them asked. He was blonde with topaz eyes the size of dinner plates and an arrogance about him that I instantly loathed.
"You have no idea." I answered, my eyes turning into slits of fury. He merely laughed it off and reached into his pocket, producing a small wad of bills and handing it to Marik.
"And you said as much as we want right?" Marik nodded in confirmation. My blood instantly went cold as the other three produced the same amount of bills and walked towards me.
"No!" I yelled, jumping against the wall, full and ready to fight as much as I had to. I wasn't going to get raped again. The blonde came near me and I punched him, sending him back, but only fueling his anger. He grabbed my hair and I mentally wished I had cut it for exactly this reason.
"You're going to get it now, bitch." He growled and I did the only thing that I could do with my hands held behind my back - spit in his face. It was slightly pink, tinged with the blood that had come from me biting my lip and he growled in anger while I smirked up at him.
I wasn't going to yell, scream and cry and give them the satisfaction of seeing my fear. Instead I was going to make them wish they had never stepped foot in this fucking room.
"Hey man, are you going to let her get away with that?" One of his friends asked. He had black hair with fiery green eyes and I smirked at him, letting my insubordination shine through in all it's glory.
"Like hell." He muttered and struck me across the face. It hurt but I squeezed my eyes shut, locking the tears of pain behind my eyes.
"Tie the bitch to the bed." The third commanded. He had red hair and brown eyes that reminded me of a Satanic puppy's.
I remained still and quite while they tied my hands and then I struck. My foot lashed out, hitting the blonde in the groin before spitting on him again.
"That's for hitting me." I hissed before turning on the others with eyes that clearly said 'bring it on'. This was my last chance to fight against them. If I lost and they raped me again, then I was raped again, but I wasn't going to make it easy.
"Derek!" The redhead said, looking at the blonde that was clutching himself and rolling around in pain before locking eyes with me. I knew I was at a disadvantage. Five guys - well four now - against one girl with her hands tied behind her back, but I was going to try.
"Wanna join him?" I asked and he gulped.
"I say we all grab her at the same time." Marik said, smirking although his eyes radiated rage. "I can't believe this, you can't even handle one little girl."
"She's not a girl." Derek grunted. "She's a bitch from hell."
"Thanks darling." I shot back, sarcasm dripping from my tongue. But when all four - including Marik - came at me and grabbed my arms, forcing me on the bed, I knew it was over. One of them - I assumed it was Marik because of the skill he used - grabbed my shirt and tore it off. It hurt my neck but I held the pain in as he removed my bra, exposing my white breasts to the four strangers. Derek had gotten back up and looked pissed. I was pleased with myself.
"Nice tits." He mused and I glared up at him. He merely smirked. "For a bitch from hell."
"She's not that hard to tame." Marik growled, going for my jeans. I tried to kick and make it hard for him, but he sliced them down the sides and removed them along with panties, leaving me totally exposed.
Tears burned behind my eyes, but I held them in.
I may have lost, but I wasn't defeated.
He dragged me onto the bed and tied my legs down before tying my arms to the bed posts. They were all staring down at me like I was some kind of toy and I felt sick to my stomach. I honestly hoped that I vomited while one of them was fucking me - that would be something that he would never forget, I was sure.
"I want first crack at her." Derek hissed staring down at me. I glared back at him, holding down all the fear inside me. "She needs to learn some respect." He crawled on top of me and forced himself into my body. I was surprised I didn't feel it, but I should have expected it.
This had happened before, that I had been raped but didn't feel it. My eyes glazed over and I laid still like a corpse, letting them do whatever they want. Not accepting, but not fighting either - just laying there. One by one they repeated the process until I couldn't remember how many times it had been or how long. I remember thinking that Marik didn't have to drug me last night - my mind gave me the same effect.
A state of surreal calm, silence and numbness. One of them said something about my scars and new cut but I can't remember what it was exactly. I remember him licking at the dry blood though, remembered the feeling of his hot tongue over the wound, how it burned against the cold of my flesh.
My body shut down, only my mind was alive and even that was starting to block out everything. All I felt was a dull pain and the comment from one of the males that I was starting to bleed.
I didn't care.
My mind went back into my childhood, memories of my father and my mother as a family.
I saw myself as a child with long raven hair and clear, happy blue eyes. My father pushed me on a swing and I laughed because I felt like I was flying. My mother was sitting on the back porch, doing something or other, but the expression on her face was happy when I hugged her and called her Mommy.
My went forward a few years and I was in my room, doodling on a sketch pad. My hair was shorter, to my mid back and I was humming some tune that I had long ago forgotten I knew. But I knew it now, it was a lullaby that my mother always sang to me and I was humming it myself, content in my own little world.
I wondered if even then, deep down inside, I had known that this is how my life would go. That I was such a cheerful child to make up for the years of the hell I would still have to endure. Actually, now I thought about, I didn't have one singe unpleasant childhood memory until I hit the age of ten and the fights started.
My mind went through my life, and I went back to when Jo was still alive. She would come over all the time and we would laugh and do all the things that young girls did. She would sleep over and we would stay up late, exchanging ghost stories and then scaring each other so that we slept with the light on after.
With each memory my mind went deeper into it's sanctuary of happy times and laughter, when I was young and still innocent, living in a world of sunshine and rainbow kisses.
I knew that the only reason I was thinking of this was because my mind was blocking out what was happening to me, but I was happy to go into my mental refuge.
That was, until someone slapped me.
My eyes snapped back into focus, almost like coming out of sleep except I knew I had been awake - lost within my mind, my body becoming an empty shell.
"Back hunny?" Marik teased. I flicked my empty eyes over him, but refused to reply. The males were getting dressed and it took a moment for me to register the feeling of hot dampness around my thighs. I looked down and saw the sheets stained red with my blood and still, I felt nothing.
Marik just sighed at my refusal to speak and turned back to say goodbye to his buddies. The door closed and I was alone with him. I figured he would try to come at me and have his fun but he only untied and smirked.
"You made me four hundred dollars tonight." He said with a dark laugh. "I should do this more often, better then letting you go off with men and run away." Again I said nothing, only turned over, pulling the sheets soaked in my own blood over my body. "Fine, stay quite you psycho whore." He snapped and flopped onto the couch and switched off the light, leaving me in darkness.
Only in darkness would I let the tears leak out of my eyes.
A/N:
Not the longest chapter in the world, but long enough. Anyways, twisted chapter, I know but hey, it's what I do. Wow, one last chapter, the epilogue and then I'm done! Wow, never thought I'd make it this far. Anyways, please leave a review and tell me what you think!