[A/N One More Night is the perfect song for this chapter.]

~You and I go hard at each other, Like we're going to war. ~ (Maroon 5)

~

When Nat answered Steve's call with two words, "She's gone," he thought she was pre-empting him.

The words leaving his mouth left him feeling sick to the stomach, "No, it's Sasha. He's been taken."

"Oh god… No, Steve, she's been erased completely…"

The floor fell out from under him – he hadn't even told her.

"It feels so good, now that there are no secrets between us," she had said.

He had felt a sharp twinge of guilt when she said that, but he had decided that wasn't the time to talk about the things he hadn't yet told her, it would only cause more upset after their argument. One more night wouldn't make a difference, things wouldn't be any more broken in the morning. They'd be better, the two of them would be closer than ever, waking still wrapped up in each other. So many mornings he'd seen her as he opened his eyes and had wanted to pull her into him.

So he said, "I'm here, Sweetheart."

Then he smothered his guilt with what he was doing with her. With the summer scent of her hair and the taste of her skin. It sent all the other things from his mind straight into oblivion. There was no need to think at all when everything just felt so good. His body seemed to have a mind of its own, it knew what it wanted. He hadn't meant to be so forceful, but he found himself draping her backward over his arms, wanting to put his mouth on every inch of skin, breath her in and take her.

He was finally living out his fantasies when the waking nightmare struck.

After the killings, Steve knew he couldn't call on Clint. She would blame him, it must have been him who led her enemies there, consciously or otherwise. Whether that was true or not didn't matter, they had been found somehow, and Steve hadn't fulfilled his duty to protect them because he was too busy gratifying his own desires.

Now, Sasha was bait tied in silken strings, and she was ready to fly straight into the spider's web to get her baby back. Before it's too late… a possibility too horrifying to imagine.

"They've taken him alive for a reason, he will be alright," Steve poured all his conviction into that hope. He pulled her back into the shelter of the house and into a tight embrace. "Nat will get here as soon as she can. We'll go to the Tower and work out from there how we're getting him back."

Although she accepted his touch, she didn't melt into him like she did before, she remained taut and ready to shoot into the night. Now and then she would edge towards the door and he would turn her back, a dance with both of them trying to lead.

Every second waiting for the jet ticked by so slowly. Steve thought of the two upstairs. Once the local police were called they would arrive quickly and they wouldn't be able to confirm her identity. It would look bad. Steve needed to get her out of there first.

When the quinjet finally swept into view and set down in the yard, Steve felt it was safe to loosen his hold on her. He threw their things onto the aft ramp and held her hand tight while boarding, kneeled in front of her to fasten her seatbelt, and wrapped a blanket around her to protect her from the cold of the flight and the effects of shock. Throughout their journey, he stayed by her with an arm around her shoulders, keeping an eye on her more than he did on Natasha and the flight instruments.

The city remained in the half darkness of the early morning hours when they set down on the landing pad atop Avengers Tower. The icy wind whipped around them as Steve swept her from the jet into the shelter of the glass penthouse. They went down to the lounge his team shared. They could recover there and get their bearings on the situation. Only then, did he feel he could briefly leave her side. Nat was there to watch over her.

He ducked under a cold shower to re-centre himself and get his head in the game. Despite the circumstances, Steve was excited to be back at the Tower with his team members after so long away. He could discuss their options with Nat and Clint whenever he got there from the long drive in.

There was a new tactical suit in his quarters, all navy and dark brown leather accessories, it looked entirely futuristic to him. Suited up, it felt amazing, the fabric had just the right amount of give and it was luxuriously soft and warm on the inside.

When he got back up to the lounge, Banner was over behind the bar and the ladies were sitting together talking quietly. She was hunched over with her head in her hands, Nat was in an armchair, leaning forward with her forearms resting on her thighs, fingers laced, in the midst of questioning her about Xane, "…anything more you can remember?"

She sat up when he put his gloves and helmet onto the black glass coffee table and his shield nearby. With the way she was staring at him, he realised she'd never seen him in tactical gear in person before. He thought it looked good, and hoped it wasn't intimidating for her. He felt reassured when she studied him with interest rather than fear.

"Snazzy new suit, Cap," said Nat.

"Feels pretty good. I see you got a new one too."

"Tony's been kinda absorbed in RD lately… to say the least."

There was definitely a lot more to that story, but he wasn't going to ask about it now. In contrast to them both, Dr. Banner looked like a psychology professor in brown tweed, but he was brewing something up. When he got close enough, Steve caught the smell of mint rising in the steam from a mug on the bar.

"Dr. Banner."

"Hey," Banner spoke in a soft voice, "Nat got me up to speed on the situation."

"Has Natasha found anything about 'Lazlo's Insignia'?"

"No. But she said something about it sounds familiar. Are you sure those were the exact words?"

"They came back to her in a dream. She seems sure."

They both looked over, studying her for some moments. She looked frazzled and when she glanced over to Steve at the bar she winced and shielded her eyes from the lights.

"Hmm, well," Banner left the bar with the mint tea and carefully set it onto the table in front of her, "Drink this. You need to keep up your strength. When the adrenaline leaves your system you're going to crash."

"If we have to negotiate with Xane we need to know more about his strengths and weaknesses," continued Nat, as though Banner hadn't even spoken.

Steve could see that Nat was on edge from the tightness in the fine lines of her mouth and an unusual squint in her eyes. The kidnapping of a child wasn't something any of them could be cool about, it couldn't be treated like a typical mission. Nat was usually the rock that kept them all level headed but the vibes coming off her now were shaking the foundations.

Steve needed to step in. No matter how many times he'd already said it, he would keep saying it, "We're going to get Sasha back."

Done with empty gestures, she'd stopped nodding along with that a while ago, only wanting to know, "How exactly?"

"Nat will find him. Nat can find anyone," he squeezed her shoulder, "It's what she does."

She picked up his new gloves and studied them, "Why do I feel like there's more that you're not telling me?"

"I think he still wants you, even though he has Sasha."

She slipped one of the gloves on and tightened the wrist strap, flexing her fingers. It sat loosely over her fist, "But my hands are tied, there's nothing I can do to hurt him while he has my baby."

"Maybe he wants to be sure, keep you locked up, I don't know," he really couldn't fathom how someone like that might think.

She raised a skeptical eyebrow at Steve until he gave in and elaborated.

"Nat found some clues at your house," he scratched the corner of his eyebrow.

"You're lying," she shoved his hand off her shoulder, "Why are you lying to me? Tell me the truth."

"It is the truth." It was, but he couldn't make himself sound convincing, even to his own ears.

Her teeth ground together, "Steve…"

He opened his mouth to speak, casting his eyes around the room as if that would make it any easier and breathing out instead of forming the words. He sat down beside her and was able to meet her piercing stare, "Sasha's room wasn't destroyed like the rest of your house, it was left intact. It seems that Xane's left it that way on purpose. To lure you there…"

"How could you keep that from me? When did you find out?"

"Nat told me the day after the fire, at my apartment. I didn't want to upset you, and I couldn't risk you going back to the house."

He reached for her hand but she stood up to get away from him, "What else have you been lying about?"

"Nothing."

"You're still fucking lying!"

When he didn't say anything she ripped his glove off her hand and threw it at him. He let it hit him and fall to the floor.

Nat tried to cut in, to spare Steve.

"No. She needs to hear it from me," he must have been resolutely suicidal. But it was the right thing to do, he'd messed up, he deserved whatever he was going to get from her, and from karma. He was resigned to his punishment. It would be worse for both of them to have the truth come from someone else. "All records of your identity have been erased."

She stood there blinking, then frowned, "Why would…" The answer seemed to come to her because her mouth closed tightly. She glared down at her reflection in the black glass table, "Because you can't kill someone who doesn't exist."

"We're not going to let that happen-"

"Part of me always suspected that deep down there might be some feelings for me, and that he wouldn't go through with it. I guess I was wrong."

Steve started to get up, wanting to comfort her, but she stepped back and went over to the window where the entire city was spread out before her. Her baby was out there somewhere. If only they could figure out where.

~

The three Avengers were pulling up everything there was on Senator Xane "Axel" de Biers, his recent movements, politics, allies, assets and properties, family history.

She interrupted them as they discussed it all amongst themselves, "I'm calling his office in D.C.." She dialed before anyone could stop her.

Nat rushed to connect her laptop's spy-ware to the line, and listen through her concealed earpiece. They all cast looks at each other as they waited for an answer to the ringing. The ring was cut short and the room was still. Not a breath could be heard. Then her voice broke the silence.

"I want to talk to him… You know who I am… I don't care what time it is… Tell him his wife wants to see him… You know my fucking name."

She lowered the phone, seeing red, the call had been terminated.

"They have your number now," said Nat.

"He'll call," she said with certainty. "He won't be able to resist exerting his dominance. When he does, I'm going to be there, on his doorstep. Are you guys coming with me?"

They both awkwardly looked to Steve for his decision. Obviously, Banner wasn't going anywhere near this one. But Nat was ready, say the word.

"We don't actually know that Sasha's in D.C.. He could be here in New York."

"Xa-, god, I can't even say his name anymore. He's possessive, so he'll have Sasha close to him. I'm going right now," she headed to the elevator and hit the down button.

Steve put himself between her and the opening doors, "I don't think that's the best idea. You'd be safer staying here. Nat, Clint and I will go when we have his location."

"You can stay here. I'm going to go find him myself. If I have to, I'll search every single place he's ever been."

He sidestepped when she tried to get around him. "I can't let you go," he said apologetically.

She turned on him, "OK, Steve! I get it now! It's just like you tried to tell me, now it's me who can't stand by. You can't stop me this time."

"I'd rather not have to," if begging would help he'd happily do it, "Please, don't make me."

"No one stands between a mother and her child."

He crossed his arms.

"Urgh," Banner cringed.

"Oh, shit," sighed Nat. "Steve…" she warned.

Steve felt his mistake.

"You're not throwing me over your shoulder this time."

Steve heard the other two speaking quietly only to each other.

"I feel like we shouldn't be watching this," Banner whispered to Nat.

"It's hard to look away…"

Steve unfolded his arms as the doors behind him automatically closed, and held up his hands for her to see that he didn't want to fight, "I'll do whatever I have to do to keep you safe." She tried to push him but his feet were planted firmly. He dropped his hands, "Just think, does Xa- Axel, have an office here in New York? Does he have a house in the Hamptons?"

"Yes…"

"Then Sasha might not be in D.C.. You could be heading the wrong way."

He could see the conflict tearing her in opposite directions.

"I know it goes against all your instincts, but, please, wait just a little longer. Rest now and be ready when the time comes," he coaxed.

"I should never have left the Tower," she whispered.

~

She let Steve bring her into his suite to rest. Alone together, he thought they could talk openly, however, she wasn't getting too close to him and he noted her stance, head held high, feet squarely aligned with her tense shoulders.

"Please don't be mad at me."

"The way I feel about you," she was having difficulty getting the words out, "I don't want to be mad."

"But you blame me for what's happened."

She stalked up to him, looking like she wanted to push him off the Tower, "You didn't tell me the things that I needed to know."

"I was going to tell you, but I didn't want you to be overwhelmed with everything at once."

She glared into his eyes. Her irises black with rage, "I felt safe with you."

"I would never hurt you on purpose, but I'm not perfect, far from it. I make mistakes just like anyone else…" It's just that when I make mistakes, people die.

He leaned forward, needing to touch.

Her gaze suddenly dropped to his mouth, then the star on his chest and the straps on his shoulders. She gave them a sudden tug as though testing if she could use them to climb him like a tree. For a brief moment, 5'4" Stevie couldn't fathom why, but he wasn't going to argue with his sweetheart stripping them away as she pulled up the hem of his shirt slowly until it was off over his head.

Small hands splayed on his pecs pushed until he backed into the wall. Her hands clenched into fists as they came up, then unfurled and combed through his hair. Then they pulled it. Not gently, but not painfully, certainly not as hard as she could. She wanted to punish him. He would let her, he could take it… but she was holding back, wound up tight like a steel spring.

"Sweetheart, you can't hurt me,"

"I want to."

The words stung. "I know."

He could see it in her expression, his calm surrender was infuriating. The conflict within her, even more so. She just wanted to explode. Her powerlessness was fuelling an anger that was overwhelming her entire being, it needed to be released before it hardened into despair. She needed a physical release so she could come down.

"Go ahead. I can take it."

Instead of slapping him across the cheek, which he fully expected, she kissed him, like a desert sun, cruel and indifferent. She wrenched his hands off her like he was nothing, less than nobody, then just as quickly wove her fingers through his. Pinned them to the wall. Like a butterfly trying to pin her catcher. When her tongue swept between his lips he couldn't suppress the way his body reacted. The sudden rush down his veins left him light headed. She obviously felt it because she pushed further into him with her tongue… her breasts… her hips.

"I hate you right now," she breathed against him.

She pulled him along by the belt until he was on the bed, sitting stunned while she undid it and threw it to the floor. He was shifting backwards up the bed, as she crawled over him to straddle his lap. He let her shove him back into the pillows, then she unzipped her hoodie and he wanted to do such deliciously sinful things.

She reached down for the top button of his pants. He placed his hands over hers, stopping her as the button released. "Not… like… this…" he said, between kisses, stroking her face. "You'll regret it."

As she rocked back, straightening up, a hiss escaped him, eyes snapped shut.

"You can't deny me this. I can feel how much you want it."

"I wouldn't deny you anything," he pulled together the two halves of the hoodie, and squeezed her shoulders. "But I know you, and I know you'll regret it. This is not how you want it to be."

She slumped and moved off him, "Nothing is how I want it to be."

He pulled her into a hug and stroked her head as it came to rest on his shoulder. "I know that I've failed you," he kissed the side of her head, then rested his chin there.

She slipped out of his grasp. "I need to be alone right now," she stopped in the doorway to look back.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said.

She left.

~

It was their first night apart.

If he closed his eyes, all the horrors he'd ever seen would come rushing back to him.

After a few hours of sleepless meditation, full of regrets and second-guessing himself, Steve sought her out to check on how she was doing.

An expensive garment bag and shoe box lay empty on her bed, the clothes she'd been wearing folded messily. On the bedside table, underneath the little silver infinity box, was a note.

"I'm sorry. I have to be with him. I forgive you. Thank you for everything that you've done for me. I wish we had met in a different life. Don't come for us. Goodbye, Steve."

He sunk onto the side of her bed. Inside the box cradled in his hands was a lock of Sasha's hair. Shutting the box and putting it aside, Steve tightened the straps on his boots.

Damned if I'm going to sit by.