You know, a lot of people have asked me why I don't smile that much. They say it almost like it's a bad thing. I guess they just expect me to be happy for no reason. Or maybe, if they see me smile, they won't feel guilty about passing me by on the street without a second glance. They won't feel obligated to ask me what's wrong. But nothing actually is wrong. Maybe I just don't like smiling. But maybe it's because of who I am. Well, was really. Like a good friend of mine once said, "You've been hanging out in darkness too long."

Yeah, I guess that's it, then. I guess my eyes just haven't adjusted yet. But can you blame them? My whole world changed in an instant. Can you blame me for not being used to it? I keep half-expecting Nobodies to pop out and do my bidding. Or for Axel to show up and laugh at me at whatever mission I just royally screwed up.

Though, sometimes, I wonder if maybe it's not just that I'm not used to it. I wonder if maybe…oh, but that's silly. Actually, this whole thing is silly. It's not like I can actually feel any of the things that's I'm describing. I've got no heart, remember?

So maybe I don't have a reason to smile. Maybe I don't have any friends, or a home, or a place where I belong How could I? All of those things make you feel something. Anything! But not me. I just feel…empty.

But then, why is it that I can smile whenever he's around? Maybe it's because we're "one" again. Maybe by being around him, I've gotten a piece of his heart to call my very own.

Ha. How pathetic does this sound?

Dear Heavens above I must be desperate. To pretend I've even got part of someone else's heart to use as I want. How old am I, two?

No. No. I don't have a part of his heart or anyone else's. I'm still empty.

So then…why don't I feel empty?

Maybe…maybe thing are starting to change. Maybe I'm starting to change.

They tell me I don't have a heart, so how can I feel this way?

Is it…is it possible for someone like me…to grow a heart?

Is it possible for the Dark Harbinger to adjust to the light?

I hope so. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

So I'll just be here, biding my time, waiting for my own heart to grow.

My memories…my sadness…my joy…my heart.