I could feel it in me. I could feel the virus taking hold. This is what I was hoping for all along right? A permanent escape from my sorrow. But if this was truly what I wanted then why did knowing it was going to happen make me feel so empty?
Done with thinking for a while I decided to walk around the park. Lately it had been much colder than it usually was this time of year. I knew it was close to Christmas because all around the park were things you would see around this time. Horse drawn carriages giving young couples in love ride through the park, Santa Clauses yelling out "Ho, ho, ho!", and people caroling with their friends and family.
It was when I stopped to listen to a particular group of carolers, their voices ringing together in unison like angels, that I noticed the sign. I was leaning up against a lamp post when a flash of yellow paper caught my eye, so I turned around to read what it said.
MISSING!
Mimi Marquez.
It was followed by a picture of me and some basic information. It was the two lines that caught my breath.
We Miss Our Friend.
If You See Her Please Contact Roger Davis.
I thought that Roger would hate me and I thought that Benny had been behind the flyers. I was so wrong, more wrong that I have ever been in my life to doubt Rogers love for me. I knew why disease felt so empty. Because all along I had what I had true love and a good family. I wasn't ready to go yet. I needed to get to Roger and apologize to him. I need to apologize for every thing I ever did. I felt so stupid at that moment as I looked back on everything over the past couple months. What Mama or Angel say if they could see me now? I'm afraid to find out.
All I can do is sit on the ground and cry. It's getting dark and it's not like I had anywhere to go. No one would wanna see me how I looked right now anyway. I was coughing so much and feeling like my lungs were going to explode. My stomach felt like someone was ripping my insides to shreds. And I didn't even have to look in a mirror to realize how skinny I have gotten. Think about this made me think about the day of Angel's funereal when I went to say goodbye to Roger and heard angry shouts coming from his and Mark's loft.
"Mimi still loves you.
Are you really jealous?
Or afraid that Mimi's weak?"
"Mimi did look pale."
"Mimi's gotten thin. Mimi's running out of time."
When I heard these words I knew that what both Mark and Roger had said was true. And I had no doubt in my mind that this was then end. And pretty soon Mimi Marquez will cease to exist. But it just wasn't my time, I still wanted to see Roger. To have him forgive me for everything I've done. To have him hold me and tell that that everything was going to be okay even though it wasn't. I wanted him to tell me he loved me. I was to weak to walk, so I had to just stay there huddled in the park, freezing and in the dark. All of a sudden a voice rang out through the blackness.
"Oh my God. Joanne what is that over there!" Maureen. I tried talking to her but I couldn't get the words out.
"I don't know lets go see." Slowly they walked up to me and looked at my face. I looked up at them pleading with my eyes to help me out.
"Mimi!" they screamed together. They were crying and laughing at the same time. And all because of me.
Finally, I could say one word. "Roger…" They looked at me more closely and saw how horrible and sick I looked, and the just nodded. Joanne picked me up and started walking in the direction of the loft. When we got there I vaguely remember Maureen screaming upstairs for help. When they saw it was me Collins, Mark, and finally Roger ran out to carry me up. There was no room on the couch so they laid me on the table.
After some fussing about heat and food, everyone just decided to let me and Roger have our moment. I brought up enough strength again to say "You're back."
He just smile and said "I'm back baby, I'm back." He held me closer and tighter than he had ever done before. When I laid there with Roger staring down at me, I knew then that whatever happened tonight I would be okay. If I lived that would be great, and if I died, well.. I would get to be with my Angel again. Whatever the outcome I will know that there is people who love me. And that is all I could ever ask for.
A/N: I hoped you enjoyed the story and the ending. Any person reading this on the RENT board should know what comes next, so I don't think I need to get in to that. I would love it if everyone would review and give me their final thoughts on the story.