Melodies at Midnight

by Somebody's Nightmare

Cloud's life is defined by tragedies and failures. Following the tragic deaths of his best friends, Cloud is raising their child, still reeling from the inadequacy and anger he's had since he was ripped from the girl he had fallen in love with 10 years ago, until they reunite. She was supposed to teach his son how to play the piano. Instead, she taught him how to love again.

13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

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[ ν ] - εγλ - 2007 | August 26th

Checkups

"Are you sure you want to come along for this?" Tifa asked him, stepping out into the hallway and quietly closing the door behind her. "I can go by myself, Cloud. I know you have a lot of things to do."

Cloud took a step back, unable to help himself from admiring the highlight of pink that bloomed across Tifa's cheeks as she looked up at him. He pulled one hand out of his pocket, lifting it to take her hand, pulling her in close before he leaned over to press a kiss to her cheek.

"Of course I want to come," he answered, putting on a slightly affronted tone. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

It was a hot, summer Tuesday morning in Midgar and they were standing in the hallway in front of Tifa's apartment, about to leave for an appointment with Tifa's obstetrician. Cloud had taken the day off as soon as Tifa told him when her appointment was scheduled, having already made the decision to do everything in his power to support her throughout this pregnancy.

It had only been a few days since his birthday when Tifa had revealed her condition to him, and despite having the time to digest it, Cloud was still reeling from the news. After learning about Tifa's disease and reading up on Star Scar, he had not really thought that it was even possible that Tifa could get pregnant, considering all of the infertility issues her illness caused. He sheepishly admitted to himself that this foolhardy reassurance had probably been the reason why they both had been so careless those first early weeks of their relationship.

Aside from this, Cloud was torn within a personal cyclone of emotions over this revelation that had been one of the last things he had ever expected at this stage in his life. On one hand, the sense of nervous terror that surged through him when his brain finally began to process the words that Tifa whispered to him on his couch that night had settled into a nagging, if not disquiet, panic. As much as he refused to say a word to Tifa and further concern her with his own inadequacies, he worried hourly about his capacity to raise a child, much less a newborn, with a woman who already needed care of her own. He had been struggling to bring Denzel up successfully as it were; adding another dependent child to his plate of responsibilities seemed like a terrible idea. In fact, he reminded himself daily that the only reason that his relationship with Denzel had improved and that the boy seemed to be finally adjusting to his unfortunate circumstances had been because Tifa had entered their lives.

On the other hand, the stronger part of Cloud was drowning out his fears and worries with an immense swelling of pride and adoration. He had loved Tifa for as long as he could remember, and although the road their relationship had journeyed over the many years since they'd first met had been broken and ill-repaired, it brought him nothing but an immense sense of satisfaction to know that they had finally come back together in such a powerful way. In fact, every time Cloud stopped to think about the fact that he had laid down with Tifa and left her with his child, he couldn't stop the way that his face blew up into a grin, and all he could think about was how much he already loved this child that was born out of his love for her.

So he tried to push away his anxieties, for his own fragile mental health but also to protect Tifa. Now more than ever, Cloud was worried about her health. Star Scar on its own was bad enough, but Cloud had read plenty about how it could not only cause infertility but how badly it complicated those pregnancies that were successful. Above all else, he knew that he had to protect Tifa and his unborn child, and if that meant that he had to get a handle on his emotions, so be it.

So he took her hand, encouraging her by giving her a little tug as he pulled her away from her door. As he led her along, he didn't miss the way that she blushed again, turning her eyes to the floor even though she leaned into him.

Outside, Cloud walked Tifa up to a black sedan that was parked along the curb. It was a Shinra vehicle that he had borrowed, unbeknownst to Director Lazard. Now that he knew that Tifa was with child, he was unusually anxious about driving her around on his motorcycle.

"A car?" Tifa asked with an air of amused incredulity. "I've never seen you in a car before. Did you buy this?"

Cloud only rolled his shoulders, wishing he could afford a vehicle of this caliber. "Nah," he answered. "It's a loaner from work. Didn't really think it was a good idea for you and the baby to be riding on the bike anymore."

At that, Tifa smiled, her cheeks warming a little bit.

"That's sweet," she told him, this time looking back up at him, and Cloud opened the passenger side door for her.

Cloud got behind the wheel and they took off, heading back in the direction of the Shinra building in Sector 0. Interestingly enough, Tifa's doctor was a Shinra contracted physician, and she worked out of a small clinical facility that sat on the adjacent property that surrounded the Shinra Tower. Cloud parked in the nearest parking deck, then walked around to the other side of the vehicle to help Tifa out, walking hand in hand with her toward the building and trying to ignore the way that his insides began to turn to ice water.

Inside of the clinic, Cloud held firm to Tifa's hand as they sat in the waiting room. Tifa was handed a tablet and asked to fill in some information while they waited, and Cloud tried to remain calm as they sat there together, glancing over her shoulder as she filled in the boxes. The nervous energy was building inside of him the longer they sat there, his worries about Tifa and the baby's health returning and his anxiety about being able to handle any of this making his right knee jump with agitation. He leaned forward over his knees and stared down at his boots after a while, trying to force the anxious thoughts from his head so that he could clear his mind and support Tifa the way that she needed him.

"Ms. Lockhart?"

He glanced up when a nurse in mint-green scrubs appeared, one hand held out for Tifa's tablet. She handed it over, then nodded and got to her feet.

"Yes."

"Dr. Crescent is ready to see you now," the nurse chirped. "Is this your husband?"

Cloud felt his face instantly light up at that innocent question, and his mouth dropped open in shock, though no words escaped. Tifa was blushing too, but she managed to hold herself together with far more composure.

"He's the child's father," was all she said.

The nurse simply nodded, disinterested in anything further about it. She waved at them to follow, then made off in the direction of the back of the clinic.

Cloud tried to swallow back the loud stomping of his heartbeat as they made their way down a few brief hallways inside the clinic, eventually coming to a stop at an examination room. They were led inside, and he found a seat across from the gurney in the room while Tifa sat atop it, unable to keep from staring as the nurse took her vitals and collected some diagnostic information from her before quietly leaving them in the room alone.

When Cloud looked back up at her, Tifa was holding her hands in her lap, absently picking at the chipped blue nail polish on the fingernails of one hand with the other. He watched her silently from where he sat, noting the way that her brow furrowed slightly as if she were in pain, the corners of her eyes pinching slightly. She flexed and unfurled her fingers, seemingly trying to work the tension out of them, and Cloud couldn't stop himself from getting to his feet and going to her, finding himself standing between her knees.

"Hey," he started softly. "Are you okay?"

Tifa looked up at him, and he realized that her eyes were a little glassy. She was chewing absently on her bottom lip, and she gave her head a little toss.

"I'm okay," she responded. "Just… nervous, I guess. Sometimes when I get nervous, or excited, my nerve pain acts up. It's no big deal."

Cloud felt a stab run through the center of his heart at her words, and he dropped his hands gently to the tops of hers, wrapping his palms around her hands so that she would stop fidgeting. She stilled instantly under his touch, glancing up at him again and offering him a small smile.

All he wanted was for her to be okay. To not be in any pain, to be happy and to feel the contentment of his love for her. This disease and everything that it brought with it was far too much of an unwelcome distraction in their lives, and Cloud found himself thinking again about what he had read about Star Scar and overcoming its traumas, wondering what else he could do to fix things so she would heal.

He started to say something in response, but the door to the examination room opened, revealing a middle-aged doctor with long hair roped up in a high ponytail, a white lab coat wrapped around her shoulders. Cloud released Tifa's hands and stepped back when she entered, falling again into his chair.

"Good morning," the doctor greeted. "I'm Dr. Lucrecia Crescent. You must be Tifa. It's nice to meet you."

She extended a long, narrow hand, and Tifa accepted it with a shake. Dr. Crescent then turned to Cloud, offering him a smile that reminded him too much of Rayleigh's, forced and prepared for bedside manner. It got under his skin, and he tried to force down the irritation that bubbled in his throat, offering Crescent his hand and shaking it.

"And you're the father?" she stated.

"Yeah," he breathed.

She was still holding her smile, but she turned back to Tifa, holding up the tablet that Tifa had been filling out earlier. She powered it on, and Cloud looked up, trying to see the display.

"It's great to meet you both. Dr. Lang told me so much about you," Crescent said. "She says you're one of her most special patients."

Tifa's expression turned quizzical at this, and Cloud watched her as she tipped her head to one side at the doctor. "What do you mean?" she asked.

Dr. Crescent was smiling again, but Cloud was tired of looking at its plasticity. He turned away, letting his eyes fall again to his shoes as he leaned forward and instead listened to the conversation unfold.

"Star Scar," Crescent answered plainly. "She's sent over your chart, and I've taken a good look at your history. Judging from my correspondence with her, you seem to be an atypical case."

"In what respect?" Tifa asked.

"Well," Crescent began. "You seem to be suffering from very complex traumas that initiated your disease. In cases like yours, we typically see severe symptoms - extreme mood swings, violent relapses. But Star Scar isn't my area of expertise - reproductive health is. And I think that is what is most surprising to me."

"Why?" Tifa asked, and Cloud found himself wincing at the high pitched tenor of fear in her voice.

"Well, Tifa…" Crescent's voice trailed off a bit, Cloud still studying the vinyl flooring beneath his feet as he listened. "Women afflicted by Star Scar are usually infertile. There are rare cases, of course, where pregnancy is successful. However… I have been in practice for over twenty years, and I've only treated four women with Star Scar. And only one of them, I'm afraid, carried to term - and hers was a mild case of the disease."

Cloud looked up instantly, and his frown deepened when he heard the soft, terrified gasp that Tifa emitted. He couldn't stop himself from getting to his feet, his attention shooting from Tifa to the doctor.

"What are you saying?" he demanded.

Dr. Crescent faced him, offering him her smile this time, and Cloud still hated the way that it curdled his skin. He hated doctors and he hated everything about this, but he grit his teeth and held his tongue, reminding himself over and over to hold it together to avoid upsetting Tifa.

"I don't mean to alarm you," she answered, and then she directed her attention back to Tifa. "But I do want to be honest with you. It would be unethical of me to not disclose that information to you."

Cloud just sighed, the sound escaping with far more exasperation than he had intended. He dropped back into his chair for a third time, unaware that his lips had twisted up into a frustrated pout as his blood rushed into his ears and his worries about Tifa and their child tripled.

"Dr. Lang said you could help me," Tifa interjected then, her voice desperate and pleading.

Lucrecia nodded. "I will do everything that I can, Tifa, but I need you to be very, very cooperative during this entire process, okay? It's very critical that you follow all of my directions and adhere to the regimen that I set for you."

"I understand," Tifa agreed softly.

"That goes for you, too," Lucrecia said, turning again to Cloud. His eyes widened slightly when her attention focused on him. "You are going to be very, very instrumental in making sure this pregnancy goes according to plan. I need you to make sure that Tifa is okay, and that she does everything that I ask."

"Of course," Cloud agreed, almost affronted that she even had to tell him this.

Lucrecia reached into the breast pocket of her lab coat, pulling out a wallet-sized photograph. It was frayed around the edges, signaling its age. She turned it between her fingers and held it up for them both to see.

"Do you know who this is?"

Cloud narrowed his eyes and stared. The photo was of a boy, perhaps no more than eleven or twelve, with slick silver hair that hung past his shoulders and spilled into pale green eyes. His face was expressionless, eyes staring ahead into the camera, and Cloud felt something pinprick in the back of his brain.

"No," Tifa answered.

Lucrecia turned her attention back to the photo, her smile now looking less practiced and taking on an edge of melancholy. "This is my son," she responded. "Sephiroth."

At that, Cloud's attention was fully captured, and he looked up at the doctor. "Sephiroth?" he repeated. "As in General Sephiroth?"

As a member of SOLDIER, Cloud was very well aware of who Sephiroth was. He was considered the original SOLDIER, one of the very first in the program, the most successful of any who had undergone the enhancement process that Cloud realized was probably partially responsible for his moodiness and his tendency to get occasional migraines. But even before he'd been drafted into the Shinra military, Cloud had been very familiar with the war hero, often watching news reports back on his mother's old television set, intrigued by the politics and the history of the war and not so much by the violence and authoritarianism of it.

Lucrecia nodded, storing the photo away again. "I… I had a very rough pregnancy with him as well, albeit for very different reasons. Since then, I've focused my practice on infertility and high-risk pregnancies. That's why Dr. Lang sent you my way. Of course, Star Scar is a very exceptional case, which is why I included that disclaimer."

Tifa just nodded, and Cloud had already forgotten all about Sephiroth, his eyes resting on her face and watching the way the worry rippled across it. Self-consciously, she wrapped her arms around her abdomen, holding herself, and Cloud had to do everything in his power to avoid getting to his feet again and pulling her into his arms.

"The best thing that you can do is to try not to worry," Lucrecia Crescent advised after a moment. "Fretting about your condition will actually only serve to make things worse, Tifa. Now. I'd like to talk to you about your pregnancy so far, some of your symptoms, and things like that. Afterwards, we'll set up a visit calendar. I'd like to see you every two weeks for the remainder of this first trimester. After that, your risk for complications will increase, so we'll bump it up to weekly visits until you give birth… and judging from your chart, it looks like your due date is March 7th."

Cloud memorized that date, sitting back in his chair and listening to the remainder of the conversation as Dr. Crescent asked Tifa personal medical questions and then launched into a series of dos and don'ts and other instructions for her prenatal habits moving forward. Cloud committed every word the doctor said to memory, resolving to do everything in his power to ensure that Tifa's pregnancy was healthy and successful. His mind was still burning with Lucrecia's earlier warning, but it was a fate that he refused to accept could happen to them.

After some bloodwork, a pelvic exam that had Cloud blushing and trying to occupy himself by staring out of a window, and more discussion, Cloud and Tifa finally left Dr. Crescent's office, once again holding hands as they walked together. The late-morning sun had shifted as noon approached, higher now in the sky and pounding the pavement with its heat until Cloud's forehead broke out with a sheen of sweat. Tifa had been silent ever since they'd bade farewell to Lucrecia and her nursing staff, keeping her eyes downcast as they made their way through the parking garage and back to Cloud's borrowed sedan. When they finally reached it, he opened the door for her and held her arm as she carefully climbed in, watching her face the entire time and feeling his heart break when she winced as she settled into the seat.

His heart was beating way too fast again, his fears and anxieties rising again to the surface as he slid behind the wheel. After everything that had happened in the last few months, from finding Tifa again and falling headfirst back in love with her, to strengthening his bond with Denzel while trying to work through his own traumas, to learning that she was ill with the same disease that had killed her mother - Cloud didn't think he could handle another pressure added to the mix. And he knew for sure that he couldn't handle another tragedy in his life - least of all to Tifa or to his child. It had only been a few short days since he'd learned they were going to have a baby, but already he was bonded to them both in ways that he knew he would be crushed forever if those ties were ever severed.

He keyed the engine to life, then looked over at Tifa, finding her staring out of the passenger side window, looking away from him. It cut his heart up into ribbons to see the stricken look on her face, and he dropped his palm to her forearm and tugged on it gently.

"Hey. You okay?"

Tifa offered him a shrug, and he knew by that alone that she wasn't. It struck him in an unforgivable way to know that she was suffering so silently, and he squeezed her bicep just a little more firmly to let her know that he was there.

"I'm scared," she finally said.

There wasn't much that Cloud could summon in reply. He was terrible with words, and moments like these always choked him. But Tifa's eyes were drawing him in, drowning him in their dark scarlet sadness, and he found himself opening his mouth to respond even though his throat was caked over with dryness.

"Cloud?" Tifa went on. "Will you tell me it's going to be alright?"

His eyes were level with hers, her words stirring the most urgent edges of his soul to life. He lowered his hand to her waist, pulling her closer to him over the console as he felt his eyes sting in the corners.

"It's going to be alright, Tifa," he replied, unsure of his words but wanting to believe them anyway.

He watched her cheeks darken as she turned away, facing the window again, her face somewhat relaxed now and her mouth curved in a wan smile. Cloud pulled his hand away from her body, returning it to the steering wheel as he faced out of the windshield.

Maybe, he thought. Maybe this time, everything was going to be alright.

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[ ν ] - εγλ - 2007 | September 19th

Opportunity

"Pregnancy?"

Cloud turned, glancing up to find Kunsel leering over his shoulder, a steaming paper cup of coffee in hand. As soon as Cloud realized he was behind him, he minimized the window he had been reading on his screen and backed up in his chair a bit.

"What?"

It was stupid, but he tried to feign ignorance. Kunsel only chuckled and reached for a nearby chair, pulling it up right beside Cloud's.

"That website you were lookin' at," Kunsel continued, crossing his feet at the ankles as he sat down and leaned back, taking a sip. "Sorry, didn't mean to pry."

Cloud only sighed in response, backing his chair away from his desk so that he could face Kunsel. He shook his head.

"It's nothing."

"Really?" Kunsel pressed, somewhat amused. "It ain't really my business but…"

'My girlfriend is pregnant," Cloud found himself announcing.

Kunsel's face brightened as his lips expanded into a smile, and he leaned over and set his cup of coffee down on Cloud's desk. "Well I'll be damned," he exhaled, a laugh behind his breath. "You don't look like you were expectin' that."

"I wasn't," Cloud found himself admitting with mild annoyance. Why was he even entertaining Kunsel about this? He tried to shove it away, but the truth was, he and Kunsel had grown to become somewhat friendly over the course of the last several months, especially since Lazard had insisted on partnering them for assignments, and even more so since Tifa had shown up.

In fact, a lot of things were changing for Cloud as the summer stretched on into early fall, and he found that he had a difficult time accepting that things in his life were better than they had probably ever been. It was almost unnatural to him how much things had settled down in his life, and it left him sometimes feeling slightly suspicious, like a caged animal just waiting for its captor to strike.

Denzel had started the fourth grade, and was already eager to join the school's concert band after spending the entire summer practicing the piano under Tifa's tutelage. Cloud realized that he hadn't seen the boy wear so many sunny smiles since his parents had been alive, and as much as it pained him to realize that, it also brightened his world as he thought about how he was finally beginning to do things right for once as a parental figure. Every time that he looked up at the Buster sword that sat above the mantel in the living room, or took a moment to water the lilies that lined the windowsills overlooking the street beyond, he felt a little bit lighter.

He was still seeing Rayleigh regularly for therapy, and he had to admit that as the weeks stretched on, he grew more comfortable with the entire process and began to see some of the value in it. It was still difficult for him to talk about his feelings - he knew that it always would be - but nonetheless, he was letting a little more of what lived inside of him slip out whenever Rayleigh peppered him with questions. He was beginning to realize, if not very, very slowly, that the process was beginning to somewhat achieve what Tifa had tried to reassure him it would.

He began to heal.

Then there was the matter of Tifa herself, and Cloud thought about how she'd woken up beside him early that morning, leaning over to drop a kiss to his lips before she got up for the day and left. Over the course of the last couple of months, especially since he'd learned she was pregnant, she'd been spending more nights at his apartment. Cloud couldn't stand being away from her; she occupied his mind to the point of distraction when he was at work, constantly hung up on how she was feeling and if she was okay. He worried endlessly about her condition, Lucrecia Crescent's warnings playing over and over again in his head despite how much he tried to suppress them and keep a cool and level head. The truth was, though, Cloud was having a difficult time letting Tifa out of his sight for too long, and any time he could, he convinced her to stay the night at his apartment. Denzel had already grown quite accustomed to and even fond of Tifa's frequent presence in their home.

"Well, what are you planning on doing about it?" Kunsel asked nonchalantly, as if he were asking about the weather or the score of a blitzball game. Cloud just glanced at him, Kunsel innocently picking up his coffee again to sip. "This stuff is good. New vendor in the cafeteria."

Cloud ignored that non sequitur. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Kunsel went on, now tipping back in his chair a bit. "If Katie got pregnant, I can just imagine all the decisions we'd have to make. I mean, we'd keep the baby for sure, I know - but then I'd have to ask myself, are we gonna get married? My mama would shit a Cappawire if she found out I knocked a girl up outta wedlock."

At this, Cloud tried not to swallow too loudly, realizing that he hadn't spoken to his mom since the beginning of the summer and that he still hadn't told her about Tifa and the baby.

"And we'd have to consider," Kunsel went on, "Do we get a place together? Have to get a place big enough for the baby to have a room and all that, you know. It's a lot to consider. You thought about any of that yet?"

Cloud marveled how Kunsel could make such heavy conversation seem effortless and carefree. Nervously, he rubbed the back of his neck as he thought about everything Kunsel had said, realizing he hadn't considered any of those things. His mouth dropped open to respond, but Kunsel just smirked as if he knew why Cloud was at a loss for words, and he sat up again in his chair and changed the subject.

"Anyway, that's not why I stopped by," he said. "Lazard actually wants to see you. But he wants you to meet him in the library."

"The library?" Cloud repeated, his brain swimming now from this new information that was piled on top of Kunsel's questions about Tifa that had already had him feeling dizzy.

"Don't ask me," Kunsel responded, getting to his feet and stretching one arm above his head. "I just follow orders."

He tipped his chin at Cloud, then turned away, leaving him alone as he returned to his own desk. Cloud sighed quietly to himself and shook his head out, shutting off his monitor before getting to his feet and making his way to the elevators, trying to file Tifa and all of the looming responsibilities of his life away for later examination.

Ever since he'd committed to counseling with Professor Rayleigh, Director Lazard had mostly left Cloud alone. In fact, it had been weeks since his superior had called him to his office, and Cloud was grateful for the space. He figured eventually, though, that the Director would want to check on him. Still, it didn't make a whole lot of sense to him that he wanted to meet in the library and not in his office where they typically met.

After taking the elevator to the 59th floor, Cloud quickly found the vast, cylindrical library that encompassed nearly the entire level as soon as he stepped onto the thick mahogany carpet. It was as quiet as a cathedral on this floor; the library rarely got many visitors, and the ones that did were always encouraged by the city's Mayor Domino, who maintained it, to keep quiet.

Compared to the other floors of the building, the library was dimly lit, mako powered candelabras that were set to low, yellow glows lining the walls and shadowing the endless shelves of books that surrounded the center of the floor on every side. Since joining SOLDIER years ago, Cloud had ventured up here a few times to borrow a book or two to read when he had free time.

He passed through the stacks, stopping when he caught Lazard in the center of the room, an open book in one hand. Cloud glanced at him, pristine and professional in a tailored slate-gray suit, and he inhaled a deep breath before he crossed the room, clearing his throat as he approached.

"Director, you wanted to see me?" he greeted as evenly as he could manage.

Lazard looked up at him then, then slapped the book shut and held it up for Cloud to see. It was an old textbook, frayed slightly around the edges but sturdy and thick in Lazard's palm.

"Practical Applications of Mako in Everyday Mechanics," Lazard read the title, then turned the book over once, glancing at it a final time. "Published in 1971. We've certainly come a long way since then, wouldn't you say?"

Cloud did not dare answer that question, already feeling something sarcastic snake forward on his tongue. Instead he bit it, folding his arms across his chest as he waited.

Lazard returned the book to the shelf and then brushed off his sportcoat, turning to Cloud now with a slight smile. Cloud didn't feel inclined to return it, and instead he just stood there and waited for the Director to get to the point.

"How are you, First Class Strife?"

Cloud felt the grimace erupt across his face before he could stop it. It couldn't be helped. He did manage to avoid rolling his eyes, however.

"I'm fine," he answered flatly.

"I hear therapy is going well," Lazard stated, and Cloud felt his neck grow hot. He wondered if Rayleigh had betrayed anything they discussed to Lazard. She assured him their conversations were confidential, and suddenly, he found himself growing angry.

"Don't worry," Lazard cut in, holding up a hand as if he knew where Cloud's thoughts were trailing. "I've only been provided with updates on your attendance. I am glad you've maintained your commitment. I hope you are seeing some benefit."

Cloud said nothing, just shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

Already, Cloud could see that Lazard was growing exasperated with his silence, though he did his best to conceal it. When Cloud refused to respond, he turned away to the books again.

"I suppose you're wondering why I asked you to meet me here," he said.

"Yes, sir," Cloud finally spoke.

The Director took a moment to admire another book on the wall before he turned back to Cloud.

"Well, there's been an opportunity, and it appears your name is coming up rather high on the list."

Cloud just quirked an eyebrow at this. He dropped his arms and shifted his stance, tossing his head at Lazard.

"An opportunity?"

Lazard gestured to the stacks all around them. "I hear you're quite the reader, and rather knowledgeable about certain topics. Is that right?"

Cloud frowned at this. Reading, especially about history and politics, had long been one of his favorite pastimes, particularly when he was younger. But years of being in the Shinra military and being subjected to their propaganda had soured him to topics he'd once loved, and he had to admit it had been a while since he'd visited these stacks.

"I guess," was all he said in response. "Depends on the topic."

Lazard dropped his hands into his pockets, taking a few steps closer to Cloud with a nod of his head. "We are restructuring the SOLDIER training program," he informed him. "The President has finally agreed to my educational plan, and so we will be including mandatory coursework for all recruits who are inducted into the SOLDIER ranks."

Cloud raised an eyebrow to this. The word education in this context both intrigued and slightly disturbed him. When Cloud had finally joined SOLDIER, there had been no educational component; it had been nothing but physical, tactical, and magical training with the added measure of exposure to mako for the enhancements that made SOLDIERS what they were. But the idea of putting Shinra, a company that was known for its shameless indoctrination, in charge of any kind of educational program seemed like a bad idea.

"Educational plan?" he repeated, unable to keep the skepticism out of his voice.

Lazard smirked. "I understand for a seasoned SOLDIER such as yourself that may sound a bit idealistic or naive," he acknowledged. "But the truth is, for some time now, Strife, I've been trying to institute an instructional component within the training program that would better prepare SOLDIERs for the duty that they've been entrusted with. There is a lack of… shall we say, historical insight and cultural competence that has impacts on how they perform their jobs."

Cloud was getting tired of this. "What does this have to do with me?" he huffed, dropping his arms to his sides again.

Lazard took his attitude in stride, still amused by it. "It's come to my attention that you may be the best suited instructor for our first cohort," he said. "To provide our recruits with the kinds of reference and contextual skills that will make them more effective in their work, especially when engaging both our enemies and our allies."

"You want me to teach history to rookies?" Cloud asked, flabbergasted.

"Political history, in particular," Lazard conceded. "Military and war history, geographical knowledge. You were stationed in Wutai at the start of your career, were you not?"

"Yeah."

"International diplomacy," Lazard added. "Things have been escalating in that region again, and believe it or not, my brother would rather handle things overseas quietly rather than loudly, as was the old way."

Cloud thought about this, his earlier thoughts about Shinra's untrustworthy practices bubbling to the surface. It was bad enough that he'd done this organization's dirty work for the last ten years, the last thing he wanted to do was become one of its mouthpieces.

"I really don't care to spread any of Shinra's propaganda to a bunch of nineteen year olds who are hoping their heroics might win them the girl of their dreams back home," he deadpanned.

Lazard blanched slightly, then corrected it and shook his head. "Strife, I understand that perspective completely, especially after years of President Shinra's leadership. But…. My brother, despite his many flaws, has a different vision for the Company. And he agrees with me that - at least in this capacity - our interests around the world will be benefited by a healthy dose of knowledge for our troops."

Cloud turned away, not sure he could believe any of this.

"It's full time," Lazard added then. "No contract work. You'll have a full salary and benefits. And this," he gestured to the library around them with one hand, "will be your office and your classroom."

Cloud looked around, considering it. Years ago, he'd been very interested in the exact topics that Lazard had just named. He'd even considered going to college to study them, following the encouragement of a certain girl he'd fallen in love with.

"Why me?" he asked.

"You can thank your comrade," Lazard answered with a shrug. "Kunsel. Listen, you can try it for the first semester with the new cohort that starts in January. If it isn't for you, feel free to vacate and return to contracting."

Cloud considered this. At this point, with Tifa pregnant and his responsibilities increasing by the day, Cloud realized that despite his reservations, this wasn't a bad gig. It would give him the stability he needed to support his growing family, and he had to be honest with himself that the entire endeavor actually intrigued him.

"Alright," he found himself only somewhat reluctantly agreeing.

Lazard flashed him an enthused smile, then thrust his right hand out, offering it to Cloud for a shake.

"Great," he extolled. "Before you leave for the day, make a stop by Human Resources. They're waiting for you. You'll start immediately."

---

It was later that evening when Cloud was sitting on his couch in the living room, trying to distract himself with a video game but unable to keep his thoughts from running over the way that his life had just changed even further that morning. Denzel was in his room working on homework, and Cloud was waiting for Tifa to finish up at Seventh Heaven. She had promised to bring dinner home for them, and already Denzel had complained more than once about how hungry he was.

On the coffee table in front of him was a packet of paperwork that he'd been handed from Human Resources that afternoon after accepting the new job the Lazard had abruptly propositioned him with. It detailed his new work assignment, salary, and benefits. Cloud was still processing the conversation and the reality of it, somewhat dazed by the fact that he had been offered an opportunity that he had to admit was close to his own heart, so much so that on his way out, he'd stopped by the library to pick up a few books, already eager to get started.

He thought back to the years of his life that he had lost, giving up on his dreams when he had become so dejected over circumstances and heartbreak that had been out of his control. The infantry and SOLDIER had given him something to strive towards, but it hadn't been what Cloud had wanted out of life. The strict and stringent schedules, the ceaseless violence, and the subservience to command and authority had grated on his nerves from the moment he had set foot in Basic.

The truth was, though, Cloud knew back then that he never had a good grasp of his passions or his ambitions, that his life drifted through an ongoing circuit of aimlessness. It had only been Tifa who had been able to pull his talents out of him and help him realize his potential, but when she was gone, he let his dreams fall to the wayside, disappointing his mother who had just begun to catch a sparkle in her eye when she realized that her only son was finally turning a corner in his delinquency.

Cloud sighed and winced as soon as his mother's bright blue eyes and smiling face entered his vision. He was reminded again of the fact that he hadn't called her in weeks and that she didn't know anything about his unborn child or much of anything else that was going on in his life.

Now with this new development, though, he felt a little more confident to share the details with her and face her probing and prodding questions.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone and staring down at it for a long moment before he steeled himself mentally and opened his mother's contact. Laying back across the couch with a sigh, he closed his eyes and listened to the ringtone until he heard her voice.

"Cloud!" she exclaimed halfway way through the third ring.

"Mom," he responded.

"I'm so glad you called," she gushed, her voice lilting with happiness. "It's been too long since we last spoke. How are things going, sweetheart? How's Denzel?"

Still keeping his eyes closed, Cloud couldn't help the grin that broke out across his face at the sound of his mother's enthusiastic voice. It didn't matter how long it had been or how far apart they were, any time he heard it, it lifted his spirits.

"Denzel and I are both fine, Mom," he answered. "Just been busy with work, that's all."

"And with Tifa?" she interjected, a note of amusement in her tone.

Cloud could only chuckle in response. His mother never failed to miss a punch.

"Yeah, with Tifa," he agreed, feeling his throat swell as he thought about the reason for his call. "Listen, Mom… I have to tell you something."

"What is it, sweetheart?"

Cloud swallowed, then sat back upright on the couch again, leaning forward over his knees as he summoned the strength to get the truth out. "Well… um…"

"What's wrong, Cloud?" Claudia demanded at his hesitation, concern infiltrating her voice. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," Cloud huffed, shaking his head. "It's just…well, Tifa is pregnant."

"Pregnant!" Claudia exclaimed, her voice so high that Cloud winced.

"Yeah, pregnant, I know," Cloud conceded. "About three months now. I… it wasn't planned."

"Well I guess not," Claudia replied, but Cloud could hear the laugh in her voice. "You've only been together for a short while. Oh, sweetheart, remember what I always told you - "

"Yeah, yeah," he cut her off, already knowing where she was going with this. "The thing is, though, Mom… Tifa, she's…"

Cloud trailed off, shaking his head as he thought about Tifa's condition, reality hitting him square in the chest again. He stopped for a moment and hung his head, still clutching his phone to his ear. After a few beats of silence passed, his mother cleared her throat.

"Tifa is what, honey?"

Cloud sighed again. "She's… sick, mom. She's got that same disease that her mother had. She didn't think that she could even have children at all."

Claudia made a clicking sound against her tongue. "Oh, no. That's terrible, Cloud. I'm so sorry to hear this. I remember Lorelai's illness well. Tifa doesn't deserve to suffer that way. No one does, really, but…"

"I don't know what to do, Mom," Cloud found himself admitting now that he had confessed, badly needing her advice and wishing that she was there to comfort him. "I'm so scared. Her pregnancy is high risk, and even though she's not as sick as Mrs. Lockhart was, I still worry about her all the time. She's always in pain, and she's not getting better, even though I thought she would if I just took care of her."

Claudia emitted a soft sigh through the receiver before she responded. "Cloud, honey. Please don't take this on as another burden in your life. I know how much you care about Tifa - how much you've always cared about her. But everything that you do for her is enough. Just being there for her, and that baby, is going to be enough."

"I don't know," Cloud whined.

"Cloud," Claudia stated a little more firmly. "We talked about this last year, after that accident, remember? There are a lot of things in life that you can't control. I couldn't stop your father from walking out on us when I was carrying you. I couldn't do anything about the real estate markets in Midgar. There was nothing I could do about so many things in my life that never went quite the way that I had hoped. But you know something, sweetheart? I tried to do my best wherever I could. Especially for you, because you were all that mattered."

Cloud closed his eyes again, listening to her words, and as soon as he did, an image of Tifa reappeared in front of him. Only this time, she was far more swollen with child, her belly round and distended as she held it with one palm, smiling up at him with joy and affection in her eyes.

"Yeah," he agreed, opening his eyes again and sitting back against the couch. "I guess you're right. I just worry about her."

"I know, sweetie," Claudia encouraged. "But remember, you will always be enough for her. More than enough. Tifa knows that. She's always known that."

Cloud nodded silently, trying to internalize her words. When he remained quiet, Claudia went on.

"And how is Denzel?"

He told her a little bit about how Denzel had improved in school and how he'd spent the summer learning the piano with Tifa, and was now part of the school's concert band. His mother was delighted, asking questions that somehow led to Cloud admitting that he had decided to start therapy and that it was actually beginning to work.

"And," he went on, now smiling somewhat. "I got a new job today."

"A new job?" Claudia repeated.

"Yeah," Cloud responded. "Teaching SOLDIER recruits. History, political science, diplomacy, stuff like that." He glanced at the books he'd checked out from Mayor Domino before he'd left the Shinra Tower earlier, his smile spreading a bit.

"Well, isn't that something," Claudia chirped. "I didn't know you were looking for a new job, Cloud."

"I wasn't," he answered. He hadn't shared much with his mother about his contractor work with SOLDIER, but she was well aware that it wasn't the secure, lucrative kind of employment that he once had as active duty. "My comrade from work recommended me for it."

Claudia offered a light, airy laugh. "Well, you should certainly remember to thank him," she told him.

They talked for a little while longer, his mother sharing with him how she was doing and how things were going in town. Cloud started to ask about Tifa's father, but he decided not to, already feeling hot stabs of anger in his chest just at the thought of the man. His mother didn't say anything about him, and after promising that she would come to visit soon before Tifa gave birth, they said farewell to one another.

As soon as Cloud hung up with his mother, he held his phone in hand, staring back at the cool glow of its screen. He thought again about his mother's words, and opened Kunsel's contact.

Cloud: Hey.

Kunsel: Hey. What's up?

Cloud: Didn't get a chance to thank you today. Lazard asked me about the teaching job. Wasn't expecting it.

Kunsel: It's nothing. Your girl is the one who told me about it

Cloud stared at the screen for a moment, surprised by Kunsel's last text. When had Tifa spoken to him? And what exactly had she said?

He didn't ask or say anything further to Kunsel, just dropped his phone on top of the stack of books, a hint of a smile ghosting across his lips as he thought about Tifa again.

---

It was a couple of hours later when Tifa was sitting next to him on the couch, having changed into one of his old tee shirts and a pair of his sweatpants. It had become a bit of a habit for her to borrow his clothes to sleep in whenever she spent the night, and Cloud was at the point where he didn't want to see her in anything else. She just looked too cute in his clothes.

She folded one knee under her body as she sank onto the couch, curling up close to him until he put his arm around her. After Barret had dropped her off, she warmed the pot roast she'd brought home from Seventh Heaven, and they ate dinner together as a family, Denzel telling them both all about his day at school while they ate. The entire time, Cloud watched Tifa's face, drinking in her smiles and feeling his insides grow cold whenever she grimaced from pain.

After tucking Denzel in for bed, they settled on the couch at one another's side. Tifa handed him a beer, a bottle of water in her other hand as she settled beside him. Cloud watched as she unfurled her palm, slipping two little blue pills into her mouth and sipping them down with water before she set the bottle to the side.

Cloud watched her the entire time, unable to keep from curling her closer to him and settling her against him. His earlier worries came drifting back to him, and fretfully, he squeezed her shoulder and pulled her closer.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Are you in pain?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, dropping her head to his shoulder. "Nothing out of the ordinary," she told him. "But I feel better now that I'm home with you."

The way that Tifa said the word home warmed the inside of Cloud's chest, encasing his heart as a fuzzy feeling stretched over him. Unable to help himself, he turned toward Tifa and pulled her in even closer, putting his beer to the side and wrapping both arms around her now.

"I'm glad you're home too," he replied softly, rubbing her back with one heavy palm. "I missed you all day. But Tifa, don't you think maybe you should stop working for a while? At least, until after the baby is here?"

The truth was, Cloud had been thinking about this more and more the last couple of weeks, his mind constantly revolving around Tifa being on her feet at the bar for hours, or sitting at the piano with her clients, straining her already sore fingers over the keys. But as soon as he spoke the words, Tifa was shaking her head.

"No, Cloud," she argued. "I'm only three months along, and I need to work. I have to stay busy."

Cloud couldn't avoid the way that he pouted in frustration at her response. "But Tifa, remember what Dr. Crescent - "

"Dr. Crescent hasn't told me that I need to stop working, Cloud," Tifa interrupted him. "And I'm being careful. Everything's going to be fine. Besides, I need the money. I can't just stop working… at least not for a few months."

Discouraged but not wanting to overstep her decision, Cloud couldn't think of anything to do but squeeze her tighter. He didn't like it - he would much preferred for her to stay home where he knew she would be safe - but there was nothing he could do about it. He'd learned a long time ago that Tifa would find a way to take care of herself whether he liked it or not.

"New books?" Tifa shifted the conversation, spotting the stack on the coffee table. She wiggled her way out of Cloud's arms, leaning forward to pick up the book on the top of the pile. "Comparative Government and Politics: A Theoretical Lens of the Planet's Organizational Systems?"

Cloud felt his cheeks heat up when Tifa leaned back against him, reading the title of the textbook out loud. He had been waiting for the right moment to tell her about his conversation with Lazard and the new job, and to ask her exactly what she had told Kunsel, and as she began to thumb through the pages, he knew that there was no better time than now.

"Yeah," Cloud breathed, not sure why he was suddenly feeling so nervous and self-conscious. "Uh, I was checking out the library at the tower today and picked up a few things."

"I remember how much you used to love this stuff," she marveled, her body's warmth soaking into his as she settled close to him. "I remember sitting on the phone with you for hours, listening to you tell me about the war and the history of the conflict in Wutai and why it all started."

"Yeah," Cloud agreed, closing his eyes and thinking back on those moments that were so far and long ago in the past. He too remembered stretching out on his back across his bed, the receiver of his old cordless phone pressed against his ear while he rambled to Tifa about things he was sure she wouldn't care about. He never liked to talk much about himself in those days; he'd always preferred to listen to her, finding her life much more interesting. But Tifa always encouraged him, always wanted to know more about him and the things that he cared about.

If only things had gone differently, maybe…

He shook the thought from his head before it materialized too much, remembering his sessions with Rayleigh and his conversation with his mother just a couple of hours ago. The past was behind him now, and there was no undoing things that had already happened, especially when he had never had any control over them in the first place.

He had to look forward, not back.

With that thought burning a trail through his mind, Cloud dropped one hand to Tifa's belly. It was still almost nearly flat, but he could feel the slightest hint of a small bump in her shape, betraying the emerging growth of life that was taking shape inside of her. At the feel of his tender gesture, Tifa set the book back on the table and leaned back, basking in his touch.

"Tifa," he began softly. "I have some news."

"Oh?" she queried, her voice gentle and light. She had dropped her head back to his shoulder, her pretty mouth stretching open into a yawn. It was distracting as all hell to Cloud, especially when he saw her soft, pink tongue inside, and he tried not to imagine all of the places on his body he wanted that tongue and instead tried to focus.

"The Director approached me today," he continued, his ears growing hot. "About an opportunity."

"An opportunity?" Tifa repeated, dropping her hand to his chest, stroking her dark purple fingernails over his pectorals and down to the center of his abdomen, forcing him to squirm a little bit.

"Yeah," he breathed. "A new job. I took it. Uh, teaching this stuff to new recruits." He gestured to the stack of books.

Tifa sat up again, looking right into his eyes. The bright scarlet in hers lit up as she smiled, and Cloud felt a brand new explosion of warmth across his cheeks when he realized the look of admiration she was offering him.

"That's wonderful, Cloud!" Tifa cried, reaching over for his hand and giving it a squeeze. "I'm so happy to hear this. Isn't this what you always wanted to do?"

So she did remember, Cloud thought. He considered his texts with Kunsel, and he turned back to her, this time dropping her hand so that he could gently cup her cheek.

"Tifa," he began, "Did you talk to Kunsel about that?"

She blushed immediately, turning her eyes downcast and looking away from him. Cloud kept his hand on her face, feeling the soft warmth of her skin under the roughness of his palm. He brushed his fingers over the crests of her cheeks, and he didn't miss the second little smile that tugged at her lips.

"He came by Seventh Heaven last week," Tifa admitted, her face still highlighted and rosy. "With his girlfriend - Katie? It was a Saturday afternoon - I think when you had taken Denzel and Marlene to the park."

Cloud nodded, wanting to hear more. He lowered his hand from her cheek, dropping it back to her hand where it was centered in her lap.

"He asked about you," Tifa continued. "I think… I think he really cares about you, Cloud. I mean, he seems glad to have you as a friend. I think he really misses Zack."

At this, Cloud turned away. He couldn't stop himself from looking up at the Buster sword where it sat on the wall above the mantel, still badly in need of polishing and cleaning. He felt a stab of sadness and guilt hit him again, and he tried to shake it away, leaning back against the couch and giving his head a little shake.

"We got to talking about you a little bit," Tifa went on quietly. "And… somehow, we were talking about the things that you like, your hobbies and all that. I thought maybe he was asking because he wanted to hang out with you, or whatever. So I told him how smart you were, how much you like to read, and how you know so much about… that stuff."

She laughed, gesturing to the tomes on his coffee table, and Cloud's face was on fire again.

"Was that too much?" she asked when he was still silent.

"It's fine," he answered immediately, turning back to her. "I just… thank you, Tifa."

"Thank me?" she parroted, seemingly surprised. "Why? I thought you might be upset."

"Why would I be upset?" Cloud asked, leaning forward until his face was only inches from hers. "Kunsel told the Director what you told him, and he offered me this job. And it's full time, full salary, and full benefits, Teef. I'll be able to take care of us."

With that, he lifted his hand to her belly again.

Tifa smiled, but she didn't say anything in response. Instead, she leaned forward and tossed her arms round Cloud's neck, pressing her lips to his in a sweet kiss that sent shockwaves through his bloodstream. His arm that was still around her back tightened, pressing her even closer to him as her tongue brushed against the seam of her lips, sending a flare straight to his groin.

After a long, heated moment, Tifa gently pulled back for air, her lips gapping slightly as she looked up at him. "I'm so proud of you," she breathed.

"Let's go to bed," Cloud rejoined immediately, his face and entire body flooded with heat, unable to stand any further physical separation from her. "I've been missing you all day, Teef."

"Okay," she agreed, her arms still latched around his neck.

That was all that it took for Cloud to rise to his feet, scooping Tifa up in his arms and carrying her into his bedroom, kicking the door shut and killing the lights before he carefully laid her down in the center of the bed.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked her as he crawled over her, his hands planted on either side of her head as he hovered. Tifa sank back into his sheets, her hair spilling in black rivulets across his pillows as she smiled up at him. The moon and stars were the only light shining into his room, and their glows cast iridescent shimmers across Tifa's hair and skin, making her look even more ethereal beneath him.

"I'm okay, Cloud," she reassured him. "Just… please. I want you. I've been missing you all day, too."

Her words were spoken with such a seeking gentleness that Cloud felt himself beginning to blush again for reasons he couldn't comprehend. In the last few months, he'd laid down with Tifa in this way countless times, but he could never get over how privileged he always felt to have the honor, and it lit up the latent bashfulness inside of him.

"I'm here, sweetheart," he whispered, still holding her eyes with his. "Tell me what you want tonight. I'll give you anything you want."

Even in the darkness he could see the way that she smiled, her cheeks beginning to bleed the same color as her eyes. She bit her bottom lip, looking up at him and squirming a bit under him before she spoke.

"Talk to me," she breathed. "I just want to be able to listen to your voice while you make love to me, Cloud."

Cloud grinned sloppily, already knowing exactly what she wanted and how he was going to fulfill her desires. It filled him with a thrill to know the ways that he could unwind her, and the longer that he held her gaze, the more she writhed beneath him in anticipation. He sat back on his knees for a moment, tearing his shirt over his head with one hand and sliding out of his pants before he dropped his hands to the waistband of his sweatpants that Tifa was wearing, carefully peeling them down her hips and tossing them to oblivion.

Laying there in the center of his bed in a pair of white cotton panties and his old, faded blue t-shirt, Tifa never looked more beautiful to him than she did at that moment. The celestial lights beyond his window haloed her in empyrean reflections, her skin flushed from her rising desire. Her hair was everywhere, covering his sheets beyond her shoulders in ebony ribbons of silk that he couldn't wait to card his fingers through to savor its smooth, cool feel. Her body was languid but well formed, as shapely as he had ever remembered it, her breasts already taking on an added fullness from pregnancy and her hips beckoning him to control them beneath his. His brain was beginning to swim with fog, but Cloud forced himself to maintain control, carefully lowering himself to one elbow to lay at her side so he could stare down at her.

"Come here," he directed her gently.

Tifa curled in closer to him, hiding her face against his chest and nuzzling his skin softly. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in close as he dropped his lips by her ear, pressing a solitary kiss to her hair.

"I missed you, Tifa," he started, running his fingers through her hair as he pressed her body closer to his. "I've been thinking about you all day, did you know that?"

"Mmm," Tifa purred, her breath hot across his skin. "What were you thinking?"

Cloud smirked, delighted that she was talking back to him. He curled her even closer, losing himself in his words and his thoughts as the warmth of her body bled into his.

"I was thinking about how I couldn't wait for you to get home tonight," he answered. "How much I wanted to just drive to Seventh Heaven and drag you out of there so that I could take you home and get you right into bed. All day long I've been thinking about the ways I want to take care of you."

"Take care of me, how?" Tifa asked in a tiny voice.

Cloud tightened his fingers within her strands. "I've been thinking about kissing you all day long," he told her. "Your lips are so pretty, Teef. And so soft. Every time you kiss me, I feel like I'm drowning in you."

As if to demonstrate, he slowly slid his hand away from her hair and found her chin, tipping it back and forcing her to back away from his chest and look up at him. Her eyes widened slightly, but right away he was dropping his lips to hers, kissing her fully for the first time that night since she had walked through the front door.

He savored the feel of her mouth against his, warm and velveteen and a drug that he could never get enough hits of. He could feel her rock against him slightly, their kiss deepening and signaling her rising desire as she slid one leg between his. He let his arm fall back around her, his hand dropping back into her hair as he pulled her back in close and lifted his lips from hers.

Her eyes immediately fluttered open and met his when he pulled away from her, her pupils wide discs that were beginning to eclipse her irises into thin red bands. Her lips remained parted and blood-rushed and wet, awakening something vicious and virile inside of him.

He tamped it down, though, remembering that Tifa was to be handled with care and with finesse, not with the savagery that sometimes boiled his blood. He held her close, dipping down to her ear again.

"It drives me crazy when you look at me like that," he whispered. "You've been driving me crazy with that look since we were kids."

Tifa hummed, pressing her body even more closely against his, and Cloud could feel the tension begin to build in her body even though he'd just gotten started. His fingers still caught in her hair, he began to slowly rub her back.

"You're so beautiful, Tifa," Cloud whispered. "Everything about you is beautiful. Your eyes, your lips, your entire face. Your skin and your hair. Your entire body. Those long, long, legs, Tifa. All the time I think about the ways that you can wrap them around me, around my waist or my neck. And your hips, this perfect ass of yours, your sexy tummy… and your tits, Teef. They're so soft and pretty, I could stare at them all day."

He moved lower to kiss her neck, and Tifa moaned, the sound and the vibrations inside of her body forcing Cloud's erection to strain the front of his boxers. He consoled the ache by rutting his body against hers, the brief moment of friction sending a bolt of pleasure up his nerves.

"But it's not just your face or your body that's beautiful, Tifa," he continued, "It's everything about you. It's your sweetness and how you smile and the way you light up a room whenever you walk into it. Everything about who you are is beautiful, and it makes me want to worship you."

"Cloud," Tifa canted breathily.

"You know you're my goddess, right, Tifa?" Cloud asked, his lips moving lower, Tifa arching her back when she felt his breath skirt across her collarbone. "Can I worship you, Beautiful?"

"Yes," Tifa nearly whined, her body winding up as she twisted and Cloud trailed his lips over the heated, flushed stretch of skin just below her throat.

Cloud stopped for a moment, tugging on the hem of her shirt until she sat up, allowing him to pull it over her head to be tossed away. She blushed as soon as she was exposed, and Cloud moved in to attack her flesh again.

"You taste like fucking candy," Cloud kept talking, lowering his kisses and licks to the valley of her breasts. "You're so sweet, Tifa. All of you."

She moaned again, throaty and low, begging him for more and ransacking Cloud's senses completely. His hands followed the trail of her body, dropping to her waist to hold her secure as he carefully took one of her nipples into his mouth. He sucked it slowly, rolling the hard peak under his tongue with alternating kisses until she was squirming again, her back arching up as he worked her into a frenzied tempest. Enthused by the way her breathing grew ragged, Cloud squeezed the indent of her waist, listening to her moan as he held her and shifted his mouth to her opposite breast.

He teased her nipples for a little while longer before he kissed down the expanse of her stomach, stopping when he reached the waistband of her underwear. Tifa had brought one arm up and over her face, covering her eyes as her mouth fell open.

"You like the way this feels, Tifa?" he asked her, running his hand over her tummy, stroking it gently with the tips of his fingers. "When I kiss your entire body?"

"Yes," she cooed, rolling her hips toward him, her knees falling open in invitation. He smiled up at her, catching her eyes as she lifted her arm just enough to glance down at him. When she bit into her bottom lip, Cloud felt himself grow even harder, and he brought his hands to her underwear, slowly lowering them over her hips and tossing them away before he used both palms to push her thighs open, spreading her apart so he could admire her. He heard Tifa whimper softly when the roughness of his hands swept over her skin, and feeling his blood begin to pound in his ears, he carefully parted her folds and spread her apart, admiring her pink, swollen clit.

"You ready to come for me, Tifa?" he asked her, pressing a kiss to her hip bone. He looked up at her, finding her covering her eyes again, this time nodding her head in response. Now knowing just how exposed she was to him, her entire body was trembling in anticipation, and Cloud could see the way that she grew wetter and wetter as she waited.

He kissed her again, and still holding her open with one hand, brought his fingers to her slit, gently and carefully stroking her lips and watching as she clenched. Her hips turned and whirled, clearly seeking pressure, but Cloud kept his touch listless, petting her softly and gently until she was writhing and her moans turned to quiet begging.

"Cloud…" she trilled.

Cloud left her with another kiss. "I know, Beautiful. Let me take my time. I love the sounds you make when I touch you like this, Tifa."

He continued to run his fingers over her pink flesh, dipping into her wetness and swirling it over her heated skin. She was biting into her lip again, her breath escaping in tiny, desperate puffs. Cloud raised his fingers higher, smoothing over her clit in slow circles until her knees were buckling.

"Oh, Cloud, mmm…"

He kept dropping kisses to her hip, leaving her shivering as he continued to rub her, increasing his speed and the pressure of his fingertips on her skin. He could see her leaking, and it drove him wild, his brain misting over with incoherence when her moans grew deeper and louder and her hips were lifting off of the bed.

"Cloud, please," she begged, scrambling beneath him. She dropped her hands to the sheets, both fists clutching the linens in her grip. Cloud could see the muscles in her belly tighten as she strained, her body chasing her climax as he stroked her clit faster and faster, sending bolts of pleasure through her nerves.

"I'm going to make you come until you can't breathe," Cloud warned her, glancing up and catching her face contort with pleasure as she keened his name again. Her entire body was locked up tight with tension, and Cloud rubbed her faster, watching her face the entire time as she moved closer and closer towards the edge. When he knew she was close and about to plunge over, he pulled his fingers away, glancing down to find her clit engorged and bright pink from the blood that had rushed there. He left her alone for a moment, draining the heightened pleasure back down as he left her on the precipice.

"Cloud," she cried, leaning up to glance down at him as she breathed even harder, desperately wanting more. But Cloud couldn't help the way that edging her along like this made her squirm and plead, and he dragged her out further, making her wait between alternating pats and taps to her clit and forcing her to leak a silvery trail between her thighs.

When she was whining and begging uncontrollably, Cloud had finally had enough teasing her, and he maneuvered himself to lay between her thighs. Still holding her parted open with one hand, he leaned forward and dropped his lips to her clit, drawing it fully into his mouth and beginning to suck, rolling his tongue over the tip of it until she was crying her way through her climax.

He kept his lips to her skin until he was sure that she had ridden it out, her body still shaking but beginning to slacken. He pushed up to his knees, sliding out of his boxers and letting his hard, strained cock free, pained and leaking at the tip. He was ready for her, and even though Tifa was still recovering from her orgasm, he sat back and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her into his lap.

"Come here, sweetheart," he whispered to her as he wrapped her in his arms, Tifa folding her legs around his waist as her arms settled around his shoulders. Her eyes were wet with tears and her face was fully flushed, and Cloud kissed her mouth softly before pulling away, reaching between them to angle his cock at her opening and gently slide inside of her.

Tifa was moaning as soon as he was deep inside, and she dropped her head to his shoulder, hiding her face against the crook of his neck. But Cloud didn't mind; the feel of her wrapped tight and hot around him was enough to drive him to complete lunacy. He lowered his hands to her hips, gently guiding her rhythm in time with his as he slid in and out of her with slow, deep, languid thrusts.

"You love when I'm inside of you, don't you?" Cloud asked her, dropping his mouth by her ear as she moaned her agreement. "I could live inside of you, Tifa. Do you have any idea how good you feel?"

"Oh, Cloud," Tifa moaned, driving him wild with the way that she called his name. He could never, ever get enough of Tifa crying out his name this way. She tightened her arms around his shoulders, anchoring herself to him and holding him as close as she could get him. "I love you so much, please don't stop."

"I won't, baby," Cloud promised her, kissing her cheek before he held her hips still over him as he increased the speed of his thrusts, stabbing up high and hard into her. He stopped talking at that point, listening as Tifa moaned against his shoulder, her entire body locking up in his hold as she clenched and tried to reach for her second release. Cloud closed his eyes and concentrated on the feel of being enveloped inside of her, moving faster and harder until they were both falling over the cliff together, Tifa's name falling from his lips into her skin while she dug her nails into his back and tore, her walls squeezing him tight and pulling him deeper and deeper inside of her.

Long moments passed where they clung to one another, their heavy, spent breathing the only sounds that filled the air. Tifa had gone boneless in his arms, and he held her, rubbing her back in slow circles as her breathing began to calm. When his brain finally started to clear, he kissed her forehead.

"You okay, Teef?" he asked her softly, and when she nodded, he carefully lowered her back to the bed, pulling the sheets back and curling up close to her with his arm around her as he snuggled against her.

Tifa's eyes were already closing, and she folded in close to his embrace as soon as he pulled her in. She wrapped one leg around him, pulling their bodies flush together as she held onto him tight. She brushed her lips against his collarbone, leaving a line of kisses there before she sighed breathily, sated and content.

"I love you, Cloud," she professed again, and Cloud listened as her breath fell rhythmic and deep. He dropped his fingers into her hair, smoothing out the tangles in it, her words inspiring something deep inside of him.

He never wanted her to be away from him again.

"I love you too," he responded. "Always. Listen, Tifa…"

He trailed off, and she opened her eyes again, glancing up at him. "Hm?"

He brushed her bangs away from her eyes, then folded his arms around her again and held her close against his chest, his heart beginning to rise as he considered what he was about to say. "I…I want you to move in with me, Teef. Stay with me so I can make sure you and the baby are okay."

He could feel his face light up as the words slipped past his lips, and Tifa offered him a smile, reaching up with one hand to gently cup his cheek.

"Really?" she asked.

"Really," he repeated. "Please. I worry about you all the time, Tifa. I just want to keep you close."

"It will take a lot for me to move, Cloud," she started to protest. "I don't know if-"

"Don't worry about any of that," he interrupted. "Just… let me handle all of that. Just tell me that you'll stay with me, Tifa."

His eyes held hers, watching them soften even though she remained silent for a stretched moment. He rubbed her back, and she smiled at him, nodding her head.

"Of course I'll stay with you," she agreed. "I'm so happy that you asked."

Cloud felt the weight fall away from his chest at her answer, and he laid back on his pillow, pulling her with him so that her upper body could lay atop his, the sheen of sweat still lining both their bodies from their lovemaking beginning to grow cool on their skin. Tifa cuddled him with an arm around his chest, and he soon realized that she was dozing, her eyes again closed as she drifted off into a quiet, peaceful slumber.

He had her, Cloud reminded himself as he held her, the girl of his dreams who had occupied so much of his headspace for so many years. He had her again, and they were growing their family, both of them connected to one another forever.

This time, he told himself again, he would never let her go.

---

[ μ ] - εγλ - 1997 | 11th August

Moonstruck

Tifa ran her brush through her dark hair, admiring her reflection in the mirror as she swept it around her shoulders. Beyond her bedroom window behind her, the sky was just beginning to bleed a darker color, dark pinks and bright purples running in diaphanous streaks across the clouds as the sun faded away behind the mountains.

She got to her feet, brushing herself off and admiring her reflection in the mirror before she smiled and then turned away to gather her purse. She'd dressed in a tight white and back layered tank top over a pleated black cotton skirt and red sneakers. It was Cloud's birthday, and they were planning to spend it the way that they spent a lot of their time together, underneath the stars.

Her father was away in Rocket Town on important trade business and wasn't scheduled to return until the following afternoon, leaving Tifa to breathe a little more freely as she spent time with Cloud. After he had been arrested earlier that summer for beating Jody Hartley to a pulp at the Nibelheim Fair, they'd had to tiptoe and sneak around even more quietly than they had already been to spend any time together. Cloud had been in so much trouble following that evening that Tifa hadn't been able to see him for more than two weeks - his mother had grounded him and her father had been so angry that she had been terrified to even test her luck. But even so, they couldn't stay away from each other for long, and Cloud was soon sneaking into Tifa's room again late at night, both of them working to muffle their voices and sounds as they held onto each other in tight embraces.

Tifa picked up her gift for Cloud, wrapped in shiny blue paper that matched his eyes, and placed it into her purse before she left. As she tucked it away, she felt a tiny, painful stab in her chest as a memory stabbed at her, uncovered by the gift's origins and its symbolism, and she tried to push it all out of her mind before the tears started to burn the corners of her eyes.

The house was quiet when Tifa grabbed the chocolate pastries that she had baked for Cloud from the kitchen counter and left, finding him already waiting for her on his front porch next door. Despite the fact that it was late in August, the weather that evening was cool, and Tifa, carrying Cloud's hoodie over one arm, paused for a moment to pull her arms through it. As she was wrapping it around herself, she felt her entire body light up with warmth when Cloud looked up at her with a smile and then bounded down his steps to meet her on the sidewalk.

"Hey," he greeted her, his hands in his pockets and his blue eyes alight.

"Hey," she responded, offering him a smile of her own. "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks," Cloud responded, glancing up at Tifa's house. "I missed you. Is your dad home?"

"Nope," Tifa responded. "He went out of town for a couple days."

Cloud didn't say anything, but Tifa caught the way that he smirked, glancing down at the basket she was carrying. "What's in the basket?"

Tifa smiled, feeling her cheeks heat up. "It's a surprise," she told him, hiding the basket behind her back.

Cloud's smirk deepened, and he then tossed his head in the direction of his mother's car. "Ready?"

They drove across town, back to the park on the other side of the village where the water tower sat, silently looming above everything else around it. Tifa stared out of the window, running her hands over the tops of her arms as he drove. When they approached the park, Cloud parked on the dry patch of dirt and grass below the tower, shutting off the engine before he hopped out of the car and came around to the passenger side to let Tifa out.

She smiled at him, feeling her heart climb in speed when he took her hand in his and they walked together to the tower. Tifa wasn't sure why she was feeling so many flutters in the pit of her belly, but just the thought of giving her gift to Cloud had her heart jumping.

They climbed the water tower, sitting side by side on its ledge. By now, the summer sky was darkening fully, and Tifa could see the stars begin to emerge against the canvas above, brilliant twinkles of white and pale blue that lit up the expanse of Nibelheim's acrid fields for miles beyond to the south toward Cosmo Canyon. She settled beside Cloud, feeling a chill pass through her as another gust of wind blew, and she pulled Cloud's hoodie closer around her, leaning against him while she opened the basket she was carrying.

"You're wearing my hoodie again," Cloud commented, lowering his arm around her shoulders and pulling her in close to him.

"It's my favorite," she told him. "I wear it all the time. But I thought it looked cute with this outfit, and that you'd like to see me in it on your birthday."

Tifa could feel her cheeks burning as she spoke, but she was consoled by the way that Cloud began to blush too, even though he was smiling at her. He looked down, nodding his head a little.

"Yeah," he admitted. "I love it. You're cute all the time, Tifa, but you're really cute in my stuff. Maybe I should give you more of my clothes to borrow."

"Maybe," she agreed, unable to keep from emitting a giggle at his words.

He laughed in response, then turned away to look up at the stars, still holding her with one arm around her. Tifa directed her gaze skyward too, and for a long time, they sat quietly, sharing each other's warmth as they stared up at the cosmic mural above.

"Is your mom still mad at you?" she asked him after a while.

Cloud shrugged at her side, pulling up one leg and draping his arm over his knee. "I don't think mad is the right word, Tifa," he told her. "More like… disappointed. I used to get into a lot of fights in school back in Midgar, and she kept telling me that she thought that I had outgrown it. But… this was different. I had a real reason to kick Jody's ass."

He wasn't looking at her, still facing the stars, and Tifa shook her head, glancing down. She couldn't help that she felt responsible for the way that things kept falling apart.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean for you to get in trouble. I wish Jody would just leave me alone, but my dad… he encourages him and his parents. I just... I don't know. I can't wait to leave this town, Cloud."

"Hey," he interrupted her when her voice began to rise in pitch. "Don't be sorry, Tifa. It's not your fault. That kid is an asshole. He doesn't get to tell you want to do with your life. Neither does your dad, or any other adult in this village. Besides, I might have taken it a little far, even though he had it coming."

Tifa just nodded, though she still couldn't shake the nagging sense that she had somehow made things worse. But she shook it away, not wanting to ruin Cloud's birthday or their night together.

"I baked this for you," Tifa spoke after a while, reaching for the basket. She gently pulled away the cloth napkin that covered the pastries inside, offering the basket to Cloud.

"What is it?" he asked, turning to her with another smirk on his face, this one playful and inquisitive as he tipped his head toward hers.

"They're chocolate-filled puff pastries, with powdered sugar," Tifa told him. "Your mom told me how much you loved them, so she taught me the recipe, and I baked them for you for your birthday."

Her face was heating up again, and Tifa bit into her bottom lip as she turned away, swinging her legs back and forth over the ledge as the shy, nervous energy peaked inside of her. But Cloud's smirk had broken out into a grin, and he reached into the basket, pulling out one of the pastries and admiring it while white dust covered the tips of his fingers.

"You really asked my mom about this?" he asked, his blue eyes almost as bright as the stars above them. "Why are you so sweet?"

But Tifa found that she couldn't answer, feeling her cheeks brighten even further, especially when he leaned in close to her and dropped a kiss to the top of her head. Instead of biting into the pastry, though, he held it up to her lips, his eyes meeting hers when she glanced up at him.

"Ladies first," he teased, the frolicsome simper back on his face.

Tifa smiled at him and took a bite of the pastry, her mouth soon filled with its sweet and fluffy flavors. But as soon as she had bitten into it, Cloud was leaning forward and kissing her, indulging in both the sugary tastes of the sweet and of her mouth.

They shared the pastries and shared each other for a while on the ledge of the water tower, now no longer focused on the stars but focused on one another. Eventually, they'd had their fill, and Tifa reached into her purse, pulling out the little blue box with the gift she'd brought for Cloud.

"Happy Birthday, Cloud," she told him again, handing it over. "This is for you."

"You didn't have to get me a gift, Tifa," he complained, glancing down at the box as he accepted it from her.

"It's special, Cloud," Tifa said, eager for him to open it. "Please."

Cloud offered her another small smile before he pulled his arm from around her and unwrapped the box, crumbling the paper in his palm before carefully sliding the golden pieces of cardboard apart. Tifa watched his face as he opened it, his eyes widening slightly when he saw what was inside.

"Wow," he said. "This is pretty… a crescent moon, Tifa?"

"Mhm," Tifa nodded. "Before mama got really sick, she and I went shopping at the jewelry shop in town. You know, the one where we met?"

He turned to look at her, nodded. "Yeah, of course."

"She bought these charms," Tifa said. She reached for her throat, into the collar of her top, pulling out the necklace that was tucked away there and revealing a crescent moon that matched the one that he was holding. "She believed a lot in totems and things like that. One for me and one for her. And… she told me that they symbolize beauty and femininity and true love. She always told me that I was special, just like she had been… when she was younger, I guess. So she thought it was the perfect charm for us."

Cloud was just staring at her, his eyes slightly wide as he waited. Tifa shook her head, trying to force away the swell of sadness that was erupting inside of her at the memories of her mother. She bit it back and dropped her hand to his.

"This one was my mom's," she told him. "You're the only other person who's ever made me feel the way that she did. So… I want you to have it, Cloud. We both each have one."

He kept staring at her, and so many seconds transpired that Tifa was beginning to wonder if this was a mistake. But he picked up the charm, admiring the long silver filigree it was looped onto, and he clutched it in his palm.

"Thank you, Tifa."

She helped him secure the chain around his neck, and then he leaned forward and kissed her, and Tifa wrapped her arms around him, returning the kiss easily and feeling her blood light up with desire as he folded her into his arms. His lips were hot on hers, his tongue seeking and pressing, and Tifa found herself growing so eager that she was almost climbing into his lap right there on the ledge of the water tower.

Electrified moments passed, and Cloud eventually pulled away from her, his lips wet and shining under the moon and starlight.

"We should get going," he told her. "It's getting late, and it's getting cold."

"Do you want to come over?" Tifa asked him, not ready to leave his side yet and eager to spend more time with him. "You can stay the night. My father isn't going to be back until later tomorrow."

The smirk was back on Cloud's face, but this time it was more than just playful, it was a little bit dangerous. He took her hand, cross-hatching his fingers with hers as he leaned close to her again.

"Are you sure?" he asked her softly.

"Of course," she responded right away.

They exchanged another diffident look before they climbed down from the water tower, soon walking hand in hand back to the car. With the late hour, the wind had begun to pick up again, and Tifa felt the chill run through her bones.

"Wait," she stopped him before Cloud went to unlock the car. "Can we… just look at the stars for a little while longer?"

She pulled his hoodie around herself, trying to lock in what little warmth that she could. She wasn't sure why she was suddenly feeling so sentimental, but something was telling her that this moment might not ever come again, that it might be the last time they would get to look at the sky that had come to blanket their love for each other over the course of that year. He nodded, stopping beside her at the trunk of his mother's car, watching her as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Are you cold?" he asked, his eyes meeting hers as he rubbed the back of his neck, stepping closer to her. "We can sit in the car, if you want."

"But we can't see the stars from inside the car," she argued, shaking her head. Instead, she leaned in closer to him, and Cloud got the hint, wrapping his arms around her and holding her against the front of his body.

"I'll keep you warm, then," he said, dropping his lips by her ear, and Tifa leaned against him, already feeling the heat of his body soaking into hers.

She stared back at the sky, thinking about how the summer was almost over and how she would soon be leaving for Midgar for the Academy. Cloud was still planning to attend community college in the city, but he likely wouldn't be leaving for Midgar until later in the year, meaning that they would be separated from each other in a few short weeks. With everything that had been happening that summer, with her and Cloud and her father's expectations and preparing to leave for university, she had tried not to think too much about the reality of the future. But standing there under the celestial lights above the village, Tifa felt a rising sense of panic assault her, and suddenly, she knew why she was so eager to stay with him beneath their glow.

"Cloud?"

"Hm?"

"Do you… do you think we'll always be together?"

Cloud was quiet for a moment, and Tifa's heart began to pound, though she was calmed by the way that he tightened his arms around her. She felt him dip his chin, lowering his face beside her cheek.

"Why do you ask that?"

"I just mean," she continued, "I'm going away to school in the fall, and… I know you're going to go to school eventually too, but… I don't want us to not be together when we are apart. I know that doesn't make sense, but…"

"I know what you mean, Teef."

Cloud squeezed her a little harder again, and Tifa closed her eyes to the stars, inhaling his boyish scent and that bright, spicy aftershave that he wore that she had come to love. She could never get enough of him, not the way that he smelled and not the way that he held her, and once again, she couldn't wait to bring him home.

"We'll figure it out," he told her next. "We'll talk to each other all of the time, we'll do those video chats and I'll come visit you whenever I can. I know Midgar pretty well. And as soon as I can start school there, I will. It will only be a few months after you leave."

"Promise me," she said, unable to stop the fear that rose in her gut, turning in his arms to face him. She raised a hand to his throat, finding the crescent moon chain that she had only given him just moments ago, curling her fingers around it and catching its iridescent shine under the starlight.

"What?"

"Promise me, Cloud," she said again. "That even when we are far apart, we'll still be together. Always."

Tifa's heart was too loud in her chest when the words left her lips, but she couldn't take them back, and she realized that she badly needed an answer, an affirmation, any indication that he understood her inner desperation. They held eyes for a moment, and Cloud nodded at her.

"Okay," he whispered, his breath escaping into the night air in white puffs. "I promise, Tifa. We'll always be together."

"I promise too," Tifa responded.

When he smiled, Tifa rose up on her toes once again finding his lips before she tugged on the lapels of his jacket, ready to spend a final night with him before the summer ended.