Melodies at Midnight

by Somebody's Nightmare

Cloud's life is defined by tragedies and failures. Following the tragic deaths of his best friends, Cloud is raising their child, still reeling from the inadequacy and anger he's had since he was ripped from the girl he had fallen in love with 10 years ago, until they reunite. She was supposed to teach his son how to play the piano. Instead, she taught him how to love again.

14. Chapter 14

A/N: Hello readers! Thank you for continuing to read and for all of your lovely reviews! I truly appreciate it and I am glad you are enjoying this story!

This is getting close to the end. There will probably be another 2-3 chapters. I hope to have it wrapped up before the end of the summer, if not sooner.

Thanks for reading! You can find me on Twitter nitezintodreamz for updates! 3

Chapter Fourteen

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[ ν ] - εγλ - 2007 | November 28th

Phone Calls, Feasts, and Folly

"Marlene, can you chop this onion for me, please? But please be careful. You remember how I taught you to hold the knife, right?"

"Of course, Tifa!" Marlene responded, coming over to the table where Tifa was standing. She got on her knees on one of the chairs, and Tifa carefully handed her the knife.

"Be careful," Tifa repeated. "I'm going to baste the turkey, okay?"

"Okay."

Tifa offered Marlene a smile, then made her way across Seventh Heaven's kitchen and approached the stove. She took a moment to breathe, rubbing her hand over her belly that was now slightly distended.

Tifa was a little over five months pregnant, and her form over the last several weeks had begun to balloon, making her condition apparent as her belly rounded and grew firm. She continued to work, visiting Dr. Crescent on a weekly basis, who monitored her throughout her pregnancy and found her to be in good health despite the circumstances. Even though Tifa worried inwardly, she tried to distract herself from stressing too much about her disease and how it might affect her or her baby's health.

And she tried to keep Cloud from stressing out.

It was late in September when Tifa informally moved in with Cloud and Denzel. His flat - a two bedroom that had belonged to his friends Zack and Aerith - was far larger than her own, even though Tifa knew that it wouldn't be enough for their growing family. It was a conversation that she and Cloud had both tabled for the time being, though Tifa knew that eventually, it would have to be addressed.

Cloud hadn't officially started his new job at Shinra yet, still working missions as a contractor. But he had begun to prepare for the semester which was to begin after the holidays, and Tifa was warmed over by how he had thrown himself into it. Books were accumulating in their now shared apartment, Cloud staying up late even after she had passed out at his side to read and take notes in preparation for the lessons he would be teaching to SOLDIER recruits come January.

Tifa let out a little huff, rubbing her belly again and glancing down at its round protrusion. She and Cloud had opted out of learning the baby's sex, but Tifa couldn't help the deep, instinctual feeling that there was little girl growing inside of her. Thinking about the possibilities and thinking again about Cloud and how their family was taking shape despite so many obstacles in the roads behind them, Tifa smiled to herself and picked up the turkey baster while Marlene's knife began to clatter against the wooden cutting board behind her.

It was the morning of Harvestfest, an annual holiday recognized throughout many Minervian cultures on Gaia that celebrated the success of a bountiful harvest season that fall. It was also a time for people to share gratitude and to spend with their loved ones and families. In recent decades, it had become more of a commercialized holiday than a holy one, much as Yule had, especially in cities like Midgar. But for Tifa, this entire holiday season was always one that left her feeling dull with anxiety and profound sadness.

It reminded her of Mama.

Mama had relapsed into an irretrievable form of her illness on Harvestfest just a little over ten years ago. And she had left this world completely, returning to the Lifestream just days before Yule that very same year.

Despite how the time passed and Tifa pushed through life, those memories could never escape her. She would never forget her mother's anguished cries and the way that she shattered plates and glasses, would never forget how her eyes ran red and gold with liquified streaks that stained her sheets. She could never forget the red wildness in her father's eyes when she found him sitting at the foot of her parent's bed, and she could never erase the memory of the scent of fifty-proof bourbon that hung in the air.

"Tifa, should I start on the leeks next?"

Tifa tore herself away from the ashes and the smoke of her memories at the sound of Marlene's bright voice, sighing slightly before she turned to find the girl smiling proudly at her with a pile of finely chopped onion in front of her. Pushing the past back down where it belonged, Tifa nodded, offering the young girl a smile.

"Great job, Marlene," she answered. "Yes, please. And after that, the carrots."

Marlene got back to work happily, and Tifa turned to the oven, blowing her bangs out of her face as she pulled it open. She basted the turkey, pleased with its deep bronze coloring and the way that the spices and seasonings had bubbled and crusted into the skin. Their meal was coming together nicely, and Tifa was looking forward to having all of her loved ones around one table that evening as they fellowshipped together. They were planning to gather at Seventh Heaven late that afternoon, Cloud even relenting and inviting his friend Kunsel and his girlfriend, Katie, along.

Tifa closed the oven and set to preparing a few of the side dishes, finding that cooking alongside Marlene was a happy distraction from some of her wayward thoughts. She was rolling dough for homemade rolls, her hands and arms covered in flour, when Jessie appeared in the kitchen's doorway.

"Hey, Teef?"

Tifa turned at the sound of her voice, finding Jessie standing in the threshold, holding onto either side with both hands. Her brow was pinched in slight confusion.

"There's someone on the phone for you."

"The bar phone?" Tifa asked. "Is it a client?"

Jessie shook her head a little too tentatively for Tifa's liking. "I don't - I don't think so. It's a woman. She didn't mention anything about piano. She just said it was urgent that she speak with you, and she didn't give her name."

Tifa blinked, feeling a cold rush of dread crawl its way up her spine for reasons she couldn't quite understand. She dropped the ball of dough she was holding on the counter and dusted her hands off on her apron, tossing Marlene a reassuring nod before following Jessie out of the kitchen and to the counter behind the bar.

"A woman, you say?" she repeated, quirking an eyebrow slightly as Jessie turned to her and shrugged, gesturing to the bar's phone.

"Older," was all she said before leaving Tifa alone.

Tifa watched her saunter away, then shook her head and turned to where the phone's receiver sat, still and waiting on the wooden countertop. She lifted the receiver to her ear, gently clearing her throat before she spoke.

"This is Tifa Lockhart."

"Tifa," a warm voice greeted her. It was so gentle and smooth that it instantly melted the strange, nerve-wracked sensations that had fallen over Tifa's spine, and she relaxed her shoulders slightly, leaning against the counter. "It's so nice to hear your voice."

For some reason, she thought the voice sounded distantly familiar, but Tifa couldn't place it.

"I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head. "With whom am I speaking?"

The woman laughed, the sound a colorful lilt that was just as pretty as the gentle but ripened voice itself was. "Oh, forgive me, sweetheart. This is Claudia Strife. Cloud's mother."

Tifa blinked, suddenly caught off guard. Her mind suddenly turning, she distractedly tangled her fingers in the phone's cords as she pondered this revelation. Why was Cloud's mother calling her? Was he in trouble? Was something wrong?

Tifa hadn't seen or spoken to Claudia Strife since she'd left Nibelheim a decade ago. She knew that Cloud stayed in touch with her, but she couldn't fathom a reason why his mother would reach out to her directly.

It was probably about the baby, Tifa suddenly reasoned. She was carrying Claudia's grandchild - of course she would want to talk to her. Tifa was suddenly cursing the way that pregnancy brain seemed to have her losing possession of her most basic wits.

"Hi, Mrs. Strife," Tifa greeted. "It's so nice to hear from you! Did Cloud give you this number?"

"Claudia is fine - and no, honey. I looked it up in the directory. I didn't want to bother him, you know? He's so busy with work and getting ready for that new job, and of course, for that baby you two have on the way."

"Well, yes," Tifa agreed, her cheeks growing bright. "I can give you my PHS number if you ever want to reach me directly, too."

"I would appreciate that," Claudia agreed. "Now, how are you doing? How is that grandchild of mine?"

Claudia's voice was so infectiously enthusiastic that Tifa couldn't help but grin widely, dropping her hand to her belly and rubbing its expanse affectionately. As if the child knew it was the subject of their conversation, she felt the distinct roll and tumble as it shifted in her belly, and she flinched happily at the sensation.

"Just fine," Tifa answered. "Growing fast. I'll be six months along before Yule."

"Cloud is busy, but he does text me every once and again to let me know how things are going. I'm so glad you and the baby are doing well, Tifa. Though, he tells me you want the baby's gender to be a surprise?"

"That's right."

Claudia laughed softly. "Then it will be a surprise for all of us. I suppose I'll do my knitting in a neutral color, like yellow."

"That would be perfect, actually," Tifa responded, unable to stop her smile from stretching across her cheeks. "We don't have a room for the baby yet - but when we eventually move to a new place, I'm planning on decorating the nursery with a chocobo theme."

"How adorable," Claudia gushed. "You know, when Cloud was a baby, everything I gave him was covered in chocobos. His plushies, his blankets, even his pajamas… and even when he got older he still loved his chocobos. I'm sure he would never admit that to anyone now, though."

Tifa giggled, thinking of the pair of chocobo patterned boxers she'd caught Cloud wearing one night a few weeks ago, filing this information away to be brought up again later. In the back of her mind, though, she couldn't help but picture Cloud as a little boy, clinging to a chocobo plush.

"I doubt it," Tifa agreed. "You know how he likes to put on a big tough-guy act."

They both shared a laugh, and Tifa found herself wishing that Claudia was there with her in the flesh. Their brief conversation had already stirred up in Tifa something that had been so sorely lacking for so many years, but especially carried a sense of emptiness now that she was carrying a child of her own. She wondered briefly what it would be like if Mama was still alive, there at her side during her pregnancy. Would she have helped her with her morning sickness, or shared with her all of her own experiences and advice and secrets? Would she be there to hold her hand when her mood swings tore through her, or cook her all of the strange requests for meals and snacks she had when her cravings got out of control? Would they have sat together like this and laughed at Cloud's expense, too?

"But, honey," Claudia went on, tearing Tifa out of her absent reverie. "I also called for another reason. Do you - do you have a moment?"

Something in Claudia's tone had shifted completely, and it had the ice returning to Tifa's spine. She straightened against the counter, watching as Jessie flitted by with a tray full of drinks and food in one hand.

"Of course," she answered carefully.

Claudia paused, leaving the air between them still before she continued. Tifa chewed into her lip, toying with the phone's cord again as she waited. She started to open her mouth to prompt Claudia when the older woman finally spoke.

"Tifa," she began. "It's about your father."

Tifa froze, blinking once as the words traveled through her ears and landed in her brain with a mild spark of panic. Her father?

Tifa hadn't spoken to her father in close to nine years. Their relationship had unraveled to the point of no return when she refused to honor his wishes for a betrothal to Jody Hartley and a return to Nibelheim after university. He threatened her, then made good on his threats, disowning her and sending everything that she had owned, including her piano, to Midgar. After their last phone call and after all of her parcels had arrived, Tifa vowed never to make contact with him again.

It was the final strike in a long succession of abuse and failures that she could not forgive, all of which began when her mother had fallen ill.

"My father?" Tifa repeated, unsure of what to say.

Claudia sighed audibly, and even through the phone Tifa could tell Cloud's mother was uncomfortable with what she was about to share. It made her squirm where she stood, her heartbeat rising in tempo and her skin blooming with a clamminess that felt cold to the touch.

"He… he's very ill, Tifa," Claudia finally relented. "He… I believe he is dying. I'm so sorry."

Dying?

Tifa felt the air swell and then rush out of her lungs, leaving her feeling as if they might burst inside of her chest. Suddenly, the tips of her fingers were numb, the sensation traveling up her arms as if she was being attacked by the pinpricks of a cactaur's spines.

How could her father be dying? He was only fifty, fifty-one years old.

"W-what do you…"

Tifa realized that her voice had broken in her throat, lodging itself there so that she could not complete her thought. She shook her head, feeling the sting of tears at the corner of her eyes, staring dully ahead at the bar as the brunch crowd filled the dining room. She wasn't sure why she was having such a visceral reaction, especially after so many years of shutting her father and all of his atrocities of their past out. Even when she learned that he had been the true cause of her illness, she barricaded him from her thoughts, not even daring to reach out to him even if there was a possibility it might cure her.

"He's been quite ill for a while," Claudia began to explain softly, her voice measured and careful, but somehow nurturing and soothing, forcing Tifa to finally close her eyes as she listened. "I hadn't seen him leave his house for weeks, and… well, he had fallen on rather difficult times these last few years, Tifa. He stopped working some time ago, and I know he was spending most of his time drinking. It was so quiet that I went over to check on him… and I found him sick as a dog. The entire house was a mess, Tifa… it was awful. Simply awful."

She fell silent, but Tifa wasn't sure how to fill the void with words of her own. She could scarcely construct a rational thought, let alone speak. All she could materialize in her mind was an image of Dad when she was young, tall and strapping and sturdy and handsome, a man who all the other men in the village looked up to. A man that she had looked up to, had been so proud of and so proud to be his only daughter, even when she was just a young girl.

But then things began to change, and he began to drink and her parents began to fight, and then Mama got sick, and…

"I started to help him out around the house," Claudia admitted quietly. "He didn't want my help, but he was also too weak to refuse it. I have no one here to look after Tifa, not since Cloud left - so I didn't mind. Even if he can be a mean and brutish thing, your father."

Tifa felt the corner of her lip tug in the makings of a rueful smile, but it never fully materialized.

"I didn't know how to reach you - not until my son called and told me that you two were together. I thought, how serendipitous? But Brian urged me not to contact you, or to tell you what was happening. I thought - I feared that he didn't want you to see him in such a weakened state, Tifa. So I honored his wishes. I - I am sorry."

Tifa expelled a heavy sigh, bringing one hand to her forehead as she stared down at the floorboards. Suddenly, she felt stifled by the bar, the din of patrons enjoying their meals too loud, the heat from the furnace too hot, the walls too close together. Her chest was constricted, sending all of its tightness right up into her throat.

When she remained silent, Claudia took it as her cue to continue. "Things got worse recently, Tifa. Earlier last week, I found your father on the floor of his bedroom, gaunt and jaundiced and… well, it doesn't matter. But I had to call the medic. He was hospitalized, but he's coming home this week. And… I'm afraid his condition is terminal. He doesn't have much time left. I'm so sorry."

"What's wrong with him?" Tifa blurted, already knowing the answer deep in her heart.

Claudia breathed out quietly. "I believe he has stage four liver failure, Tifa."

Tifa licked her lips and then closed them, staring through blurred vision ahead, only the sunlight beaming in through Seventh Heaven's glass paneled windows registering in her line of sight. It soon became blinding, and she closed her eyes, shaking her head again, her palm now gripping her belly and holding onto it for dear life.

"I see."

"I'm sorry," Claudia apologized again. "I started to tell Cloud, but I didn't want him to worry. And I thought it best if I tell you directly, first."

"What should I do?" Tifa blurted, suddenly feeling like she had lost complete control of the situation, little girl who was watching herself lose a parent right in front of her very own eyes and realizing that she was powerless to stop it.

"He doesn't have much time left," Claudia reminded her. "I know you haven't visited the village since you left, but you should try to see him before it's too late. He may not act like it, but I know that he wants to see you, Tifa."

Tifa nodded, though she couldn't form words to respond. After a long moment, Claudia sighed softly again.

"It will be alright," she assured her. "You're welcome to stay with me if you prefer, Tifa, when you come to visit. I noticed that there was no longer any furniture in your bedroom next door when I was tidying up."

At that, Tifa burst into tears.

Somehow, she blubbered her way through a hasty end to the conversation, turning away from the dining room before dropping the receiver and covering her face with her hands as the tears began to stream down her face. She tried to swallow the painful lump that sat in the center of her throat, but every time that she tried, its stab was so great that she let it bob back up to the surface again.

"Tifa?"

Tifa sniffled at the small voice, turning to find Marlene standing at her hip, looking up at her with wide, bright brown eyes. Tifa straightened where she stood, wiping her eyes and trying to fix her face.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, sweetheart," Tifa quickly lied. "I just - just read something sad. It's okay. Did you finish chopping the vegetables?"

Marlene eyed her for a moment longer as if she didn't understand her - or perhaps didn't believe her. But the moment passed, and she nodded. "I did! Come look!"

The little girl scampered off to the kitchens, and Tifa rubbed at her eyes again with the back of her fists before wiping them off on her apron and following Marlene into the back.

It was only when she looked down moments later did she realize she was covered in sparkles.

---

Hours later, Seventh Heaven had been shut down to the outside world, its blinds closed and the lights in the main dining room dimmed, the storefront sign in the door turned around to Sorry, We're Closed. But it was teeming with life inside the back dining room, all of Tifa and Cloud's closest friends gathered around two large tables that had been pushed together in celebration of Harvestfest.

Tifa watched as their guests arrived and milled about, the drinks poured first as everyone began to settle in and relax for an evening filled with food and camaraderie. Barret had arrived with Biggs and Wedge first, and had promptly sent both men to work helping her and Jessie with setting the table and getting all of the pans of food ready to be brought out and served. Marle arrived sometime later, fawning over Tifa and her swollen belly, offering her assistance in the kitchen even though Tifa shooed her off and urged her to sit. Kunsel and Katie joined them not long after, and both fell into easy companionship with Tifa's group of friends, finding a seat with Biggs and Wedge and chatting over beers while Tifa pulled the last of the food out of the ovens.

Cloud was the last to arrive, Denzel in tow. By the time he made it, Tifa's nerves were in such a tangle from her earlier conversation with Claudia that she was looking for every excuse to keep busy and out of the faces of the others, who she was certain would recognize how out of sorts she was. She was unnerved by her father's condition, but she was even more perturbed by her body's own response to the news, star tears returning months after she thought they had at long last been eradicated, even if her disease itself was not.

She was running out of ways to keep busy when Cloud knocked on the front door, and she wiped her hands off on her apron and opened it for him. Denzel was at his side, and as soon as she opened the door, he wrapped his arms around Tifa and gave her a hug, careful not to squeeze her too tightly or bump into her distended belly.

"Happy Harvestfest, Tifa!" he greeted. "Wow, it smells really good in here!"

Tifa smiled, his jubilance a ray of light that melted away some of the nervous panic that was settling in her gut. She patted his shoulder and gave him a gentle push toward the kitchens.

"I might have gone a little crazy with dinner," she admitted. "But I hope you like everything. Now why don't you go help Marlene in the kitchen? She's bringing out the juice and the bread. We were just waiting for you guys before we sat down."

Denzel disappeared into the back with a nod, and Tifa turned to find Cloud standing in front of her, watching her with a bemused simper on his face, one hand dropped into his pocket.

The sight of his placid blue eyes, the corkscrew of mako in them gentle and dim, was enough to soothe some of the anxiety that had ebbed and flowed inside of her all afternoon. But it didn't totally eradicate it, not even when Cloud leaned in to kiss her cheek, one hand falling to her belly.

"Hey," he greeted her softly, his breath a warm, gentle breeze over her skin. "How are you feeling today, Tifa? How's the baby?"

As if to emphasize, his palm lifted and traversed her stomach, the warmth of his touch seeping right through the soft knit of her sweater and into her body where she felt the life inside of her respond with a slight shift. Cloud felt it, too, because the look on his face transformed into a grin.

"Hey, she moved," he pointed out, both hands now on her tummy.

"So sure it's a girl?" Tifa teased, forcing Cloud to blush, shaking his head. Eventually, he pulled his hands away and looked back into her eyes.

"You okay?" he asked again, tipping his head at her when she didn't answer. Tifa just nodded, glancing behind her as Marlene and Denzel passed by on their way to the dining room with trays in hand.

The last thing she wanted to do was ruin this night by talking about what was happening with her father. All of their friends were here, and Cloud was happy, the lines of his face betraying a peacefulness that she realized was new ever since they had committed themselves and their lives to one another in so many fresh ways. She knew that telling him about his mother's phone call now would only worry and upset him, and it would make getting through the rest of the evening near impossible.

"I'm fine," she responded, the lie white and tiny but feeling like it was swallowing her whole where she stood, leaving her with a wash of dizziness. But she bit it back, instead taking his hand and leading him toward the dining room.

"Come on. I'm starving."

"Hold on," Cloud stopped her. "I have something for you."

She released his hand, turning again to face him as he reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and withdrew a small paper bag. He handed it to her, and Tifa eyed him with just the hint of a smirk before she opened it and peered inside.

"Chocolate?" she asked, pulling out a thick candy bar that was wrapped in gold and red paper.

"Not just any chocolate, Tifa," Cloud crowed at her. "100% Icicle Inn imported dark chocolate with fudge ganache filling. Shinra has a full stock in the visitor's center."

Tifa gawped at him. "This must have been expensive, Cloud. And how did you-"

Cloud brushed past that. "You were talking about chocolate in your sleep the other night, Tifa," he shrugged, laughing lightly, his eyes bright and blue like the sky above Nibelheim. "I figured you were having another craving."

Despite the earthquakes erupting inside of her heart, Tifa smiled at him. She glanced at the chocolate bar, then leaned up to press her lips to the corner of his mouth in a kiss of gratitude.

"I love you," she found herself blurting.

That made Cloud blush, and the sight of it only swelled her heart even more. So much so, that she was ready to unpack her burdens with him, even though she had earlier resolved to wait until later.

"Cloud, there's something - "

"Tifa!" Jessie was standing in the threshold of the dining room, waving her hand in the air. "Can you two please save it for later? Some of us are hungry and came here to eat actual food and not each other!"

She turned away, and Tifa felt her own cheeks redden, her chest deflating as she lost the nerve to tell Cloud what was weighing so heavily on her heart. Instead, she turned back to him and took his wrist, pulling him toward the dining room.

"Come on, let's eat."

"Wait, what did you want to tell me?" he tried to stop her.

"I'll tell you later," Tifa responded, pushing her father as far from her mind as he would go.

Despite her best efforts, though, Tifa couldn't keep her father from her thoughts and she couldn't let go of her conversation with Claudia that morning, finding it a weight that was suspended in free fall inside of her chest throughout their entire dinner.

And she never got to tell Cloud about it later, either.

It started midway through dinner - Barret was roaring his way through his story about a fight they'd gotten into with some bandits during a reactor clean-up mission in Sector5, the others eating and rejoining with corrections of their own to the story - when she felt the first band of pain stretch across her lower abdomen. Tifa was chewing her way through a mouthful of veggies when she felt it, and the abruptness of the sensation caused her to nearly jump in her seat, forcing her to drop her fork with a clatter against her plate. The table was so boisterous that almost no one noticed, though across from her, Tifa caught Marle regarding her with a scrutinizing blue eye.

"The problem is," Biggs was now tacking onto Barret's story, "The bandits sometimes run off with the best parts of a fiend when we take them down. So we have to be careful, or it makes a lot of our work useless."

"I can see how that would be an issue," Katie drawled, reaching over Kunsel for a roll of bread. "I adjust monsters for a living. I know how much value some of them carry."

Katie was still talking, and Tifa was vaguely aware of Marlene and Denzel bickering over the mashed potatoes at one end of the table, Marle scolding them both gently. But her vision was beginning to blur and cross, and Tifa blinked, staring down at her plate and only seeing a haze of colors.

"Tifa," Cloud was calling her name softly at her side, leaning in close to her. He set his fork down, and Tifa turned to him, forcing her eyes to refocus as they met his, bright blue with concern. "Are you okay?"

Tifa blinked, feeling a fresh wave of dizziness, matched with a heightened sense of panic that had her heart racing, her eyes tracing the shape of Cloud's face and his lips, which were slightly parted. She tried to orient her brain around a coherent thought, but she realized that signals were getting crossed, unable to materialize into a verbal response.

"I -"

Her attempt at a response was cut off by another sharp pain even lower in her belly, and this time, Tifa keeled forward, bracing her hands against the edge of the table to keep her stomach from bumping into it when she fell forward. She winced and shut her eyes tight against the sudden intrusion, and when she felt a trickle of warm wetness slide between her legs and down the center of her thighs, she gasped and tried to get to her feet.

"Tifa!" she heard Cloud shout.

His voice sounded so, so very distant, and Tifa turned, trying to search for him. Yet suddenly her vision was no longer simply blurred, but coated in thick strands of white and black and red, all swirling across her retinas and reducing the shapes in front her into phantasms. She reached out for them, watching them fade away in front of her, nothing she tried to touch within her grasp.

"Cloud," a woman's high-pitched voice called from somewhere far, far away. "She's bleeding!"

There were so many noises after that, Tifa realized, but all she could do was fall back, closing her eyes to the vortex of muted colors and laying back where it was quiet and still. Her body was so cold, pierced by the frigid air that suddenly surrounded her and beckoned to her like a daydream. But something behind her was warm, and she leaned into it, letting it swallow her whole.

Tifa!

Tifa!

Tifa…

Tif…

Ti…

…

---

"Isn't she beautiful?"

"Have you seen the Lockharts? They finally had a baby. A girl! She's beautiful, Marjorie. The most beautiful baby girl I've ever seen."

"I owe Lockhart over ten thousand gil. If I don't repay it by the end of the month, we'll be out on the street."

"Claudia left town again."

"I heard she's in Midgar. With that bastard that Arvid left her with."

"Tifa's hair is already so long! How do you manage it?"

"I don't envy you, Brian. Every boy in this village will be chasing her down before she comes of age."

"The doctor says I can't have any more children."

"How could this happen?"

"I'm sorry."

"Lorelai always dresses so nice. And look at Tifa. Such a beautiful child."

"Just like her mother, yes."

"I wonder when she's going to have another? I'm sure Brian would like a son."

"I'm sorry."

"Where were you last night?"

"Don't ask me any questions."

"Please, come in. It's good to see you, Jonathan. Let's have a brandy in the study."

"Lorelai hasn't been to Temple in weeks. I wonder why."

"I hear there's trouble in paradise."

"I'm sorry."

"Arrangements can be made, Hartley."

"It will be good for the village."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"I think you're useless."

"I'm sorry."

"Hold your hand like this above the keyboard. Fingers loose. Relax your shoulders."

"I'm sorry."

"There's a party tonight to celebrate the team's win against Gongaga. Are you coming?"

"I don't like those parties. And my mom needs help around the house."

"Why are you so selfish?"

"I'm sorry."

"Maryann told me everything. The entire church knows!"

"Stop listening to every busybody that flaps her gums at you! These women don't care about you or us!"

"You would know, wouldn't you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Does Lorelai even leave the house anymore?"

"I heard she has that nasty Star sickness."

"I'm sorry."

"I want to take a break."

"Why?"

"This isn't working."

"It has to work."

"I'm sorry."

"This concert has your entire scholarship riding on it. The recruiters for the Academy will be in the audience tonight. You must play as if Minerva herself were the only one listening."

"Please, stop."

"Why?"

"I don't want to do this. I'm not ready."

"You're such a tease."

"I'm sorry."

"I heard Claudia is back in town. With that bastard of hers."

"He's grown now. Can you believe it's been eighteen years?"

"He looks like a hooligan."

"I'm sorry."

"You're really pretty, Tifa."

"Will you go out with me? Just once?"

"You deserve better."

"My mom is sick."

"My mom is dying."

"My mom is dead."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm here for you."

"Tifa, where are you going?"

"Tifa, wait!"

"I won't let go."

"I'm sorry."

"You really are a slut."

"Minerva's will has been done."

"She got blood all over her dress, poor child."

"I'm sorry."

"Brian hasn't shown up to work in three days."

"I'm sorry."

"Claudia can't keep her ruffian of a boy under control. I've seen him with the Lockhart girl. Pretty sure he vandalized the signpost outside of the brewery."

"Isn't she promised to the Hartleys?"

"This is why children need their fathers in the home. Women can't do it alone."

"I'm sorry."

"Lorelai died and that Strife boy took Tifa up into the mountains. Claudia should be ashamed of herself. Now Brian might lose them both!"

"Will he even notice? I heard he was so drunk when they found him he still hasn't woken up."

"My dad is an alcoholic."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't listen to any of them. You have me and you're all that matters to me. I'm not going anywhere. Ever."

"Did that hurt?"

"Does that feel good?"

"Come here, sexy."

"I'm sorry."

"Your daughter has been quite the subject of conversation around town as of late. Are you sure you can uphold your end of the bargain? Even my wife is beginning to have doubts."

"I'm sorry."

"Where have you been?"

"I'm sorry."

"Get out of my house!"

"I'm sorry."

"I have to do this. I don't want you to get hurt."

"But Tifa - "

"Please, don't ever forget me. Maybe… if things had been different…"

"Don't do this. We promised-"

"I'm sorry."

---

Tifa could feel the hot burn of white light tear through her eyelids, the sudden sensation rousing her from a dreamworld that was painted in grayscale and had left her entire body with a chill, memories cascading through her senses like an icy winter downpour. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking as she tried to clear her vision and finding herself staring up at a sterile white ceiling, fluorescent lights beaming down on her like the calm but forced eyes of sentinels.

"Tifa?"

She heard his voice almost as soon as she opened her eyes, and she craned her head slightly to the right, finding Cloud seated right at her side and leaning over her. His face was shorn with exhaustion, and his eyes were heavy and red, wet around the rims and filled with strain.

Had he been crying?

Panic began to race through her mind at the same time that her memories did, and instinctively, Tifa lifted a hand from where it was tangled in the rough, unaccommodating sheets to drop it to her belly.

It still felt round and firm, still felt warm and still felt full, and Tifa closed her eyes again and tried to recapture her breath. It was only then that she felt her fingers graze across his, and she realized, opening her eyes again, that Cloud had been holding onto her with his palm resting on her tummy and their child inside.

She turned to him, letting their eyes meet again. She tried to smile, but her heart was pushed up too high in her throat, and there was too much confusion swimming downriver in her brain.

"Tifa," he tried again. "You're awake."

"…what happened?" she finally managed to ask, finding that her mouth was dry and her tongue felt like a wad of leather in her mouth.

Cloud let a beat pass before answering, instead letting his fingers crawl over her stomach to thread through hers, clasping her hand in a gentle hold. He rose from the chair he was sitting on and positioned himself on the bed beside her, leaning in so that he could cup her cheek with his other hand.

"Shiva, Tifa, you scared me," he finally huffed out in a strained breath. "You… you passed out at dinner. I don't - you started bleeding, not a lot, but - we rushed you to the hospital. The doctor - "

"The baby?" Tifa cut him off, her panic returning even though her body was telling her to remain calm.

"…The baby is fine," Cloud finally answered. "It - it was just a scare. Dr. Crescent said it happens sometimes, you know… because of the illness. It could be stress related, or hormonal, or maybe you've been working too hard… but either way, we have to be more careful, Tifa."

"I have to go to Nibelheim."

"What?" Cloud responded, leaning back, clearly incredulous.

"Cloud, I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to tell you," she went on, trying to sit up a little straighter in the gurney. Her abdomen no longer hurt, but she could still detect the slight wave of dizziness that followed in the wake of her every movement. "But… your mom called me this morning."

"My mom?" Cloud repeated, now even more confused, his face scrunching up as he tried to make sense of her words.

Tifa shook her head, feeling tears threaten the corners of her eyes. She squeezed Cloud's hand, both to summon her own resolve while levying him with some reassurance. "Yes… she called about my father. He - he's dying, Cloud."

Cloud stared at her for a long moment, his lips slightly parted but his eyes unblinking. After a moment, his expression softened, and he squeezed her hand back.

"Is that why this happened?" he asked her softly, now rubbing her cheek with his thumb, his other fingers tangling in her hair.

Tifa closed her eyes for a moment and considered that. She couldn't be sure, but she knew that her father and her relationship with him was deeply connected to her present illness. Thinking again about the stars that she'd wiped away from her cheeks and all over her hands and apron, Tifa turned her attention back to Cloud.

"I don't know," she answered him truthfully, "But I do know that if he dies and I don't talk to him, I'll never get better, and our baby…"

She trailed off, the unthinkable hovering above her tongue, hovering above them both in reality in a call that had just been too close for comfort.

"Tifa," Cloud responded immediately, leaning in even closer but keeping one hand on her stomach, forever connected to the child within. "Tifa, I'm scared. I thought I was going to lose you… and our baby. I can't lose you again, Tifa, especially not like this. If anything happens to either one of you, I swear, I will - "

"Shhh." Alarmed by the escalation in his tone of voice, it was Tifa's turn to reach up to touch his face. She stroked his cheekbone gently, and he closed his eyes at her touch, a tear streaming from one eye that made her heart bleed.

"I promise, I'm going to be okay," Tifa insisted. "But if I don't do this, I won't be. Ever. Now where's that chocolate bar you got me?"

In the end, Cloud acquiesced, and when Tifa's doctors - Lang and Crescent - both came to check on her now that she was fully awake, a debate ensued over her request to travel and visit her father, the source of her trauma, on his deathbed. Dr. Crescent was concerned, especially following the episode she had suffered, but Dr. Lang had been far more pragmatic, looking Tifa squarely in the eye as she warned her.

"This could be risky, Tifa," she said without hesitation. "But as we have discussed before, this could be your only opportunity to rectify your condition. Yet I will make no promises that this will be successful. You must be prepared to accept that reconciliation with your father may not even be possible, and may not eradicate your disease. These things are never absolutes."

"I understand," Tifa responded firmly.

In the end, the doctors discharged Tifa, leaving her with instructions to rest for at least a couple of weeks before she attempted any sort of travel or strenuous activity at all. Cloud stepped into the hall for a moment to confer with the doctors, leaving Tifa to stew in her own thoughts as she carefully kicked her feet off of the gurney and sat up.

She had to do this, she knew.

For her sake, and for their child's sake.

---

[ ν ] - εγλ - 2007 | December 17th

Return to the Stars

"Aw, but I really want to come, Cloud!" Denzel whined as they dropped him off at Barret's one-family unit in Sector7. "I never get to go anywhere!"

Tifa watched as Cloud ruffled Denzel's hair. "This isn't that kind of trip, Denzel," he explained, crouching in front of him while Barret waited on the front stoop, Marlene at his heels. "Tifa and I have some business to take care of back home. We'll be back in a few days. We might even bring Aunt Claudia back with us so you can see her."

"Do you promise?"

"I'll do my best."

It was mid-December when Tifa and Cloud packed a few small bags and made their way to their airport, en route to Nibelheim for the first time in a decade. After dropping Denzel off, Tifa found that her heart was far too loud and far too fast, pounding away as Cloud drove his borrowed Shinra vehicle along the stretch of highways that led to the ports.

Ever since the incident on Harvestfest, Tifa had been stringently following doctor's orders, reducing her shifts at Seventh Heaven to maintaining the ledgers and even temporarily suspending offering piano lessons for the time being. She tried to get as much rest as she possibly could, but her mind was a constant merry-go-round, whirlwinding through her memories of her father and her parents and how quickly things had fallen apart between all of them, now leaving facing one of the biggest and most stressful decisions she had ever had to make in her life.

Cloud must have sensed her constant anxiety, because he worked tirelessly to dissipate it. With the holiday season in full swing - Yule was only a couple of weeks away - he ceased his contract work for Shinra entirely, instead focusing his attention on Tifa, making sure that both she and their unborn baby were safe and well-cared for. Anything that Tifa needed, Cloud was only a few steps away from providing. During the day, he sat at her side in their apartment or hung out around Seventh Heaven, keeping a watchful eye on her while she worked, and at night, he cooked dinner for them and curled up close to her in bed, holding her body close to his and holding onto her belly, his hands traversing her form and ceaselessly comforting the life inside.

But as the days dragged on, Tifa's mind would not quiet, and finally she sat Cloud down and insisted that it was time. And so they planned their trip to Nibelheim together, opting not to bring Denzel with them, knowing that for many reasons, it would likely not be a trip where he would be much if at all entertained.

By the time they boarded a commercial airship that was headed for the Western Continent, Tifa's nerves were rods of electrified water along the highways of every limb, and she found herself growing antsy and restless, unable to sit in one place for too long. The trip was almost fourteen hours, and needing air, Tifa walked to the airship's deck, Cloud a few paces behind her.

She glanced beyond the enclosed railing, watching as the world passed by beneath them, the wind tearing through her hair. Cloud had been holding onto to one arm protectively the entire time they made their way outside, and when the cool night air greeted their lungs and skin, he pulled her protectively into the shell of his body.

"It's cold out here, Teef," he complained as soon as they set foot outside. "I don't want you to get sick. Come on, let's head back inside."

"Wait," she stopped him, glancing up at the sky. They were over the stretch of sea that separated the Eastern and Western continents, and the further away from Midgar that they flew, the clearer the sky became and the brighter the moon and stars grew. Tifa found herself transfixed on the subtle hoary glows above, and she inhaled a deep breath, leaning against Cloud as his hands affectionately rubbed her belly which had seemed to swell even larger in the last few weeks.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked her for what Tifa was sure had to be the hundredth time that day. She exhaled the breath she was holding and closed her eyes to the spectacle above, turning in Cloud's arms to face him, her belly bumping into his abdomen.

"I'm fine," she relented, glancing up into his eyes. They were serene and a dark blue, colored by the dimness of the night that surrounded them. But they were spilling over with worry and concern, and wanting to ease his troubles the way that he always eased hers, Tifa reached up and caressed his cheek.

"Don't pout so much, Cloud," she told him after a moment. "It's cute, but I don't want you to worry."

His pout morphed into a wry smile. "I can't help it," he told her. "I worry about you all the time. You're all I can think about, Tifa."

Even as his voice shook and cracked, Tifa didn't miss the resolute strength behind every syllable. Pressing her body even more tightly against his, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest.

"I love you, Cloud."

"I love you too. Come on, let's go inside now."

They slept in their seats back in the airship, fingers entwined and heads tipped together, and when they awoke to sunshine shearing through the airships's wall of glass windows, Tifa realized they were only a few hundred miles outside of Nibelheim.

They took a public transport from the docking station that sat miles down the road from the village along the nearby Western shoreline, and even though Cloud was holding her tight with his arm around her waist, Tifa couldn't shake the anticipation and dread that was braided together into a rope and tightening around her heart. She exhaled tiny puffs of breath and tried to push her thoughts back to a reasonable place, but the more she thought about returning to a village she once hoped she'd never see again, the more her insides petrified and crumbled to stone.

The transport left them at the village gates, and Tifa stared up at the large wooden sign that announced their arrival at the village of Nibelheim.

"You sure about this, Tifa?" Cloud asked her softly at her side, shouldering their bags. "We can still turn around and go back home."

Tifa considered that, but it was only for a fleeting moment. She placed her hand on her swollen abdomen, feeling the gentle current of bubbly movement inside of her. Remembering how her star-tears had returned and how she had felt those sharp stabs of pain before falling to her knees, she tore her eyes from the sign and glanced at Cloud, finding his eyes a hazy shade of zaffre under the sunlight.

Remembering how she had watched her mother deteriorate for years - now realizing that it had all begun much, much earlier than she had originally thought - Tifa knew what she had to do.

And remembering how much she needed to get closure on the past - on the ugliness that had left a gaping hole in her heart - Tifa nodded, reaching for Cloud's hand and giving it a little squeeze.

"Yes," she told him firmly. "Let's go.

---

From the moment that Claudia swung open her front door to welcome them, her hands were glued to Tifa's belly.

Tifa had to admit that she wasn't prepared for the onslaught of attention, though she did welcome it. She might have appreciated Claudia's warm greeting even more if she hadn't been so distracted by the sight of her own house next door, a home she hadn't seen in ten years and that had been emptied of everything that had once made it a home.

"Look at how you've grown," Claudia gushed, holding Tifa out at arm's length by her shoulders. "You're even more beautiful than Cloud made you sound, and I must admit, that is saying a lot."

"Mom," Cloud groaned, shutting the front door behind them.

"Thank you, Mrs. Strife."

"Claudia," Cloud's mother reminded her, rubbing Tifa's belly again affectionately. "Come, have a seat and relax. You must be tired after such a long trip. I remember when I was this far along with Cloud, my back and feet were constantly in pain. It was a wonder I got anything done at all."

Tifa glanced over at Cloud with a smile, finding him blushing and shaking his head, turning away with their bags in hand. "I'm going to take these upstairs," he announced, making himself scarce.

Claudia guided Tifa to her couch, and she let her dote on her for the next few hours, Cloud eventually joining her on the couch as his mother served tea and peppered them both with endless questions about the baby, their relationship, Denzel, and their lives in Midgar. Tifa was happy for the distraction of their conversation, even if it made Cloud's face flush red with embarrassment until Claudia finally got up and moved into the kitchen to prepare dinner for them. When she was gone, Cloud turned to Tifa and took her hand.

"When are you planning to visit your dad?" he asked her softly.

Tifa sighed, leaning against him as she thought about his question. Since they'd arrived earlier that afternoon, she had been keeping her father to the farthest recesses of her mind, her anxiety already rushing forth when she saw her childhood home next door. But she knew that she had come back here with one purpose in mind, and no amount of distraction would prevent the inevitable from happening. She accepted Cloud's hand and threaded her fingers through his.

"Not today," she answered. "…tomorrow, I think. I - need to sleep on it. Gather my nerves, you know? It's been so long since I last spoke to him. I… it was difficult, Cloud."

Cloud gently ran his fingertips along the inside of her palm, forcing Tifa to smile slightly at the ticklish sensation. "You don't have to explain, Tifa. Whatever you want to do, I'm here for you."

She nodded, dropping her head to his shoulder and letting her eyes fall closed, half of her mind parsing what she would say to her father when she saw him again, the other half trying to wade through her anxious teetering and calm all of her senses.

Eventually, they sat down and ate dinner with Claudia, and when Tifa and Cloud had helped clear the dishes away, Cloud pulled her to the side.

"Hey," he said to her softly. "I know you have a big day tomorrow. But - it's still kinda early, and I was thinking… Do you want to take a ride before we go to bed?"

Tifa glanced up into his eyes, finding them each a cerulean oasis of serenity. Even as her nerves continued to flare, looking up into his gentle gaze was enough to calm some of the dull, pulsating frenzy that lived inside of her.

"A ride?"

"I was thinking of the water tower," he added. "It's not far from here. Just to see it again, you know?"

Tifa felt something warm spill over her at his suggestion, her lips spreading into a smile. There were not very many places or things that she was eager to see in this town again, but the water tower, which had always been special to her, even before she met Cloud, was one of them.

"Okay," she agreed.

And so they left, Cloud driving Tifa in his mother's old sedan, the same one that he had driven her in on their dates all those years ago. Holding her stomach with one hand as he drove, she stared out of the window, watching the streets quietly roll by, cottages and shops and the marketplace, already decorated with fairy lights in observance of the coming Yule, the sights of everything bringing back memories that she only realized now she had repressed for so long.

When they passed the high school, Tifa peering up to glance at where it sat up on a hill near the shopping district, she felt a chill return to her blood. The memories that were made in that building were ones that she had been eager to set aside and forget. She turned quickly away, watching as Cloud drove along the road in the direction of Nibelheim's one and only municipal park.

It was cold this time of year in the West, and Tifa pulled her jacket more tightly around her body and buttoned it, the soft wool stretched tight over her growing belly. As they arrived at the park, Tifa noticed how much of the ground and the nearby pines and aspens were still coated with the remnants of a recent snowfall. It reminded her of happier days in Nibelheim, when she had been a child and had loved playing in the snow for hours and hours until her toes grew numb and her father had to scoop her up by the waist and pull her out of it.

The car gave a quick jerk as Cloud pulled up on the grass and threw it into park, just a few feet away from where the water tower stood like an ever-watching sentry.

"I never felt like I fit in in this town," he said suddenly, as if somehow reading her earlier thoughts. "It was a strange year for me… people always assumed the worst of me, gave my mom a hard time. I never understood it. There were days when I couldn't wait to go back to Midgar. But… I had you."

"I lived here all my life," she answered, "And I realize now… it was the same for me, too. Even for all those years before Mama got sick and Dad started to drink, when I thought my life was happy and perfect… there was always something missing. A part of me that wasn't there, while the other part didn't belong. It's stupid, really…"

"Hey," Cloud interjected softly, reaching over to brush her hair away from her cheeks that were flushed from the cold. "It's not stupid, Tifa. Your feelings are never stupid. Okay? I told you that before, didn't I?"

Tifa looked up at him, leaning into the press of his fingers by her cheek. Despite how much it tore at her to think about everything that had been lost in that year and the years before and after it, she knew that he was right.

She pulled her scarf up around her chin. "C'mon," she beckoned him, opening the passenger side door. "Let's go up to the tower."

"But Tifa," Cloud tried to stop her. "It's too cold out there. And you shouldn't be climbing any ladders. We can just sit here and look at it from here."

"Come on," she repeated, ignoring his protests and climbing out of the car, leaning against the door and letting out a breath against the cold winter air. Cloud was out of the car and at her side in moments, quickly pulling her in close to him with his arm around her shoulders.

"Please be careful, Tifa."

She offered him a playful grin, then turned away and made her way to the ladder that led to the top of the water tower. She had climbed this ladder so many times as a kid and as a teenager, but this was her first time coming up here as an adult, and with a child inside of her, no less.

"Be careful," she heard Cloud say again, and she looked over her shoulder, finding him right behind her and looking up at her, his brow furrowed as he watched her with concern. She gave him another reassuring smile, then made her way all the way up, carefully crouching to a seat and scooting along the ledge to make room for Cloud.

As soon as he reached the top, Cloud lowered himself to sit beside her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in tight to his embrace.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked her. He brought his free hand up to the front of her coat, running his hand over her belly. "It's too cold, Tifa."

She shook her head, ignoring his complaints and focusing her attention on the night sky above them. It was a crisp, clear night, and Tifa could see the stars again in a way that she hadn't in a decade. In Midgar, the light pollution was so bright and endless that it stole away all of the glows from the celestial bodies that lived in the sky. But up here, out here in this small rural town in the middle of nowhere, the heavens were alight.

"I'm fine," she answered him finally, leaning into his hold and feeling his warmth. "But Cloud, the stars are so beautiful here. I - I had almost forgotten what they looked like."

Cloud only rumbled at her side in agreement, his hand now running up and down over her abdomen.

"Do you remember?" she began, never tearing her eyes from the horizon ahead. "Do you remember all the times we came out here, Cloud? To look at the stars?"

"To make promises," Cloud added softly, squeezing her shoulder, his hold on her growing even more protective and tight. She finally turned away from the sky, her eyes meeting his and finding them sparkling under the ethereal light above.

"Do you still have my mother's necklace, Cloud?"

He blushed, turning away slightly and looking down at his lap, though his hands didn't leave her body. A moment passed before he finally answered.

"I do," he answered. "I - stashed it away. Along with your corsage. For safekeeping. For a long time, though, Tifa, I couldn't look at them. So I hid them in a drawer."

The words were registering, but they were eliciting new emotions inside of Tifa that built like a storm surge in her chest, her eyes stinging at the corners as she thought about how far they had come. The last time they had been at this water tower, they had been woeful teenagers who had little idea how star-crossed their lives were truly about to become. But now they were together, moving on from their pasts that were so cracked and cratered, ready to start a new life and family of their own. There was only one last loose end for Tifa to tie.

"Let's make a new promise," she said, reaching over to find his hand that rest on her belly, laying hers atop it. "But this time, it's my promise to you."

"What?"

"I broke my promise to you when we were young," she told him. "But you still promised me again that you'd do anything for me to make sure I'd get better, right?"

"Yeah, Tifa, but - "

"So it's my turn," she interrupted. "Let me make up for how I hurt you, Cloud. I won't break it this time."

"Tifa…"

"I promise I won't let anything ever come between us again," she vowed, squeezing his hand. "I promise I'll always be by your side, Cloud, the way you've always been there for me."

"Tifa -" he tried again, but she leaned up and silenced him with a kiss, his lips soft and warm against hers despite the cold air that nipped at her cheeks.

As they stayed pressed together, Cloud tightening his hold on her with his arm now around her waist, it was only the sting of the breeze against her cheeks and the corners of her eyes that made Tifa aware of the fact that tears had begun to streak from her eyes. At the feel of them greeting the cold wind, she pulled slightly back from Cloud, and he opened his eyes to catch them running down the sides of her face to her chin.

"Ti-"

He was interrupted again when Tifa felt a roll and tumble inside of her belly, followed by a sharp jerk right against the spot where her and Cloud's hands lay folded atop each other. Cloud's eyes widened, and Tifa forgot her tears, following his face as he lowered his gaze to her stomach.

"Did she… did she just kick?" he asked.

Tifa smiled. She wasn't sure why she had been crying at first - the emotions had been piling inside of her all day, and maybe her words to Cloud had just catapulted a decade's worth of feelings to the surface. But the feel of their child inside of her making its presence known to them both - especially during this intimate moment - made Tifa realize that the salty wetness that tracked down her cheeks was born out of joy.

"She?" Tifa teased again, locking her fingers with Cloud's, the baby still shifting inside of her, but now moving with a little less force.

"I'm convinced," Cloud responded, a dopey grin on his face. "Just wait and see, Teef."

"Hmm," Tifa hummed in response, returning his smile when he reached up to wipe the tears from under her eyes with his thumb.

"It's cold," Cloud reminded her for the hundredth time. "Come on, Tifa. Let's go home."

She nodded, letting him help her to her feet and guide her back to the ladder, going down first so that he could make sure she was secure on her descent. And they drove back to Claudia's cottage, Cloud's mother already asleep when they returned, Cloud and Tifa curling up beside one another under the covers in Cloud's childhood bed, his arms folded tight around her as they drifted off to sleep together.

Tomorrow, new trials awaited her, just next door. But until then, Tifa didn't think about them, not for the rest of the night and not while Cloud held and kissed her softly under his sheets.

For now, she was content.

---

[ μ ] - εγλ - 1997 | 11th August

The Chaos of Stars

Nibelheim's streets were quiet when Cloud pulled his mother's car up in front of his house, putting the vehicle into park and shutting the engine off. He glanced over at Tifa, finding her staring out of the window with her hand on the door handle, a slight smile on her face.

"You coming?" she asked him when she realized he had been staring at her.

Cloud nodded, snapping out of it and returning her smile with one of his own. He ducked a little to look out of the window, glancing up at Tifa's house and finding the driveway empty before he turned back to her.

"You sure this is okay?" he asked her. "I mean, me coming over?"

Tifa made a slight tsking sound against her teeth. "It's never stopped you before," she teased, causing Cloud to blush as he thought about all of the times that he had snuck into her room and stayed with her through the night without her father ever knowing. Somehow, though, this felt a little different.

"He won't be back until late tomorrow evening," Tifa went on when he hesitated. "Besides, when he gets back he'll probably be too wasted to know what's going on, anyway. Let's just go inside, Cloud. I have something else I want to give you for your birthday."

At that, Tifa climbed out of the car, shutting the door behind her, leaving Cloud sitting behind the wheel with his cheeks suddenly red.

He followed behind Tifa, up along the stone pathway that led to her front door. His eyes were on the back of her body, watching as the summer breeze shifted her black miniskirt against her hips. He licked his lips, feeling the strain in his pants that had started the moment she came outside for their date earlier that evening, trying his best to push it back down to a tolerable place.

It was easier said than done. Following Tifa inside of her home as she unlocked and opened the door - which was dark save for the moonlight that shone in from the living room windows - he found that he couldn't tear his eyes off of her legs that were too long and shapely, mesmerizing him every time he caught them bared like this. Even at that very moment, he was stuck with his eyes watching the back and forth sway of her hips, and when she led him up the stairs, he did his best not to take advantage of the view it afforded him.

"C'mon," she beckoned him, opening her bedroom door.

Cloud followed her silently inside, and once the door was closed behind him and their shoes were kicked off to the side, he relaxed a little. He always felt so calm and secure in Tifa's room with her. There was no other place in all of Nibelheim that held as many small comforts as this space did, especially on those nights when he found himself sitting at her side as she played the piano, or when he was innocently cuddling with her under her sheets.

Watching as Tifa pulled his hoodie off of her shoulders and tossed it to her bed, revealing her bare, slender arms in her tank top, he realized then that tonight might not be so innocent.

That was fine with him, he thought. He and Tifa had only had sex once, and that had been on her birthday. And he still couldn't stop thinking about it.

"I've been practicing a new song," she told him, slowly walking over to her piano and taking a seat at its bench. "Come, sit." She patted the space beside her.

Cloud gave her a faint smile, following her obediently and sitting right beside her on the bench, shoulder to shoulder, facing away from the keys. He dropped his arms between his knees and glanced at Tifa, catching her eyes a shade of dark cinnamon in the moonlight, the sharp bends of her cheekbones pale and highlighted. He wondered how it was possible for her to look prettier every time he was lucky enough to lay eyes on her, but somehow, it kept happening.

"A new song?" he repeated, his eyes still hooked with hers as she stretched her fingers over the keys.

"Mhm," she assented. "I was looking for something that reminded me of you. I wanted to play something special for you on your birthday."

Cloud was powerless to stop the heat that rose, bright and unabashed, in his cheeks. Tifa noticed it too, because she giggled and leaned forward, placing a lip gloss-smudged kiss to the tip of his nose.

"Don't be so embarrassed," she teased him. "I hope you like this one, Cloud. It's called Reunion, by Urquhart."

Cloud nodded, his face still rosy but his lips pulled into another smile. Tifa turned away from him and dropped her fingers to the keys, and Cloud listened as she swept through the melody, the notes gentle and euphonious, building into a dulcet crescendo that was at once sensual and sweet and had Cloud closing his eyes and leaning closer to her, against her shoulder.

The notes finally ceased, and Tifa turned to him, her eyes bright and expectant. "So, what did you think?"

"That was really beautiful, Teef," he responded, pulling back to meet her gaze. He lifted a hand to take her chin, and as soon as he did, she leaned in closer to him. "You're so good at this, you know? I can't wait to see you on stage one day."

"I don't know, Cloud," Tifa replied, looking away from him as the blood in her cheeks climbed toward the surface. "I guess it depends on how I do in university. It's so difficult to become a stage performer, you know?"

"What I know is," Cloud rejoined, leaning in closer to her, "That if anyone can do it, it's you."

Tifa opened her mouth to respond, but Cloud caught her words with an open-mouthed kiss, swallowing them away before she could utter them. She moaned softly against his lips, and the sound sent flames along his veins.

He wrapped his arms around her, pressing her body to his as he deepened their kiss, savoring the flavor of her lip gloss against his tongue. She was so soft and warm in his hold, her body yielding to his like dough, that he couldn't help the way that his hands began to roam. They found the indent of her waist and the curve of her hip, cupping the soft weight of her breasts that were pressed against his chest.

They went on in that fashion for long moments, Tifa's fingers tangling in the hair at the back of his neck and sending fragmented tingles down his spine every time she stroked him. But abruptly, she soon pulled away, dragging her lips from his, hers bright red and swollen from his gentle assault.

"Hey," she whispered in a hot breath to him, letting one hand trail over his arm, sliding beneath the hem of his teeshirt's sleeve and pressing into the warmth of his bicep. He winced slightly at her touch, feeling the sensation shoot between his legs where the ache he'd been trying to ignore was becoming unbearable. "Come here, Cloud."

She got to her feet, pulling him by the wrist and leading him to her bed. Wordlessly, Cloud followed her across the room and said nothing when she gently pushed him down, forcing him to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Happy Birthday, Cloud," Tifa wished him in what he was sure was the sweetest tone he'd ever heard from her.

He leaned back, widening his knees and watching as she crossed her arms in front of her and pulled her layered tank tops over her head, tossing them both behind her where they landed on the floor. She was wearing a bright purple, lace bra underneath, and Cloud's eyes roamed the fullness of her breasts against the tight fabric, his hands beginning to sweat as he visualized kneading them beneath his fingers.

But Tifa was just getting started.

She reached behind her back with both hands and unclasped her bra, letting it fall open so that it could slide down her shoulders and disappear on the floor behind her. Cloud resisted the urge to lick his lips, his eyes falling from her face to those shapely mounds, her nipples pink and hard and begging for his touch.

He leaned forward to involve himself in just that manner, but Tifa stepped away, shaking her head at him coyly.

"No touching yet, Cloud," she taunted him, and he watched with his lips parted as she pulled down the zipper on the side of her skirt, letting it fall to the floor where she stepped out of it, leaving her standing in front of him in a pair of skimpy lace panties that matched her bra and her black thigh high stockings.

Every time Cloud and Tifa had fooled around before, it had always been under her sheets or in the backseat of his mother's car with most of their clothes still on, their hands traveling under fabric to find one another's most sensitive spots. Even the first time he made love to her under the stars they'd been fully dressed, zippers pulled down and skirts and hems pushed out of the way. But now, she was nearly naked in front of him, the moonlight bleeding into her skin and leaving her appearing like an angel haloed by inky ebony hair as she approached him again.

"You want to handle the rest?" she asked in a quiet voice, and Cloud could see the way that her cheeks had begun to darken, even as she toyed with him. He leveled a smirk at her, feeling his chest begin to fill with pressure, his own confidence surging as he sought to build hers.

"Come here, sexy," he told her, widening his knees.

Tifa looked back up at him, then slowly stepped close to him again, right between his legs. She was so close that he could feel the heat of her body and could smell the rose oil and passionfruit in her skin. The sight of her flat tummy and her smooth, torturous curves that wound in two separate directions towards her breasts and hips was enough to make him dizzy.

He brought his hands to her waist, hooking his thumbs into the waistband of her underwear as he looked up at her and met her eyes. He smiled, and she returned it, some of the tension in her body dissipating as he slowly began to lower the lacy fabric over her hips until they met the floor, Tifa kicking them away to join the rest of her discarded clothes.

"Can these stay on?" he asked her, gently fingering the hem of her thigh-high.

"It's your birthday," she tossed back at him, both of her hands now holding his cheeks affectionately. "Whatever you want, Cloud."

He grinned at her, pulling her down by her arms to kiss her, and just as his hands were reaching around to get a handful of her plump bottom, she pulled away from him.

"Hold on," she whispered. "I want to try something."

Confused, Cloud wrinkled his nose and sat back again, watching as Tifa slowly lowered herself between his thighs, crouching to her knees on her soft, lavender-hued carpet. His mouth was hanging open again, but Cloud found himself completely frozen when she was reaching for the buckles of his belt, undoing it and then working the fly of his jeans open.

"Hey, Ti-"

"Shhh," she silenced him, reaching into his boxers, her soft hand finding his cock.

Cloud grit his teeth and tipped his head back as soon as she made contact, and any words he had been trying to formulate died in his throat. He groaned out a low, deep sound, but Tifa was soon stroking him, running her hand up and down along his shaft, her grip firm and strong but her hand so warm and so soft.

"Ahhh, Tifa," Cloud couldn't stop the moans from sliding past his lips, the head of his cock leaking over her knuckles. "That feels… ahhh…"

"Hmm," Tifa hummed, squeezing him and leaning forward a bit. "How about this?"

Cloud just stared at her, unsure of what to expect until her sweet little mouth was wrapped around his tip, her tongue pressed to its underside. She moved slowly, sliding her lips over him and wetting his skin with her saliva, leaving him to lift his hips off the bed as the pleasure sang like a chorus up along his nerves.

"Shit," he swore as she moved higher, unable to restrain himself.

He'd heard plenty of guys talk about the blowjobs they'd gotten from their girlfriends when he was in high school, but Cloud had always let such talk go in one ear and out the other. But for as long as he had been with Tifa, he had to admit that a day hadn't gone by when he wasn't dreaming about her mouth on all parts of his body, this one especially. He never dared to ask her to do such a thing, though - from the way the guys he went to school with all talked about it, it seemed like such a filthy and detached act.

But the way that Tifa did it, he thought as she slowly suckled him until he was dripping into her mouth, careful not to push herself too far, made it feel loving and selfless and filled with so much passion and care that Cloud soon realized he was moments away from bursting.

"Teee-fah," he gasped, finally regaining some of his mental clarity and grabbing her by the shoulders, gently pushing her away. As much as he wanted to empty himself down her throat the way that he had in a thousand of his fantasies, he wasn't about to do that to her here and now. Even if it was his goddamn birthday.

"Come here," he told her again, this time scooping her up in his arms and laying her down in the center of her bed.

She didn't protest, wiping the corner of her mouth as she laid her head against her pillow and stared up at him expectantly, waiting. Her knees fell open, and Cloud glanced between them, finding her wet and swollen with desire already.

Holy Alexander, that flower between her thighs was beautiful, and even though Cloud had gotten a glimpse of her before, he'd never seen her spread so bare and open under a wash of cool blue moonlight like this. He was leaking even more, and he growled and pulled his shirt over his head, settling himself between her thighs and ready to repay the favor.

"I love you, Tifa," he couldn't stop himself from saying.

He was kissing her inner thighs when she murmured a rejoinder, but Cloud was so caught up in the haze of both his own arousal and her heady, sweet scent that he could barely decipher her words. He let them swirl in the ether above his head, and then he moved forward and pressed his lips against her clit, remembering how touching that part of her always had her melting for him.

"Oh, oh," she whimpered as soon as his lips touched her flesh, her eyes snapping shut and her head rolling to one side, facing the window.

Cloud glanced up at her, blue eyes scanning her beautiful face between the valley of her breasts as he let his tongue dart out and draw lines over her stiff nub. She arched beneath him, her breathing growing heavy and her voice escaping in a melody of soft coos, a line of sweat breaking out across her forehead, her fists tangling in her sheets.

He kept up his gentle onslaught, swiping his tongue back and forth across her clit, sucking it gently and nuzzling it with his nose until she was squirming and lifting her hips from the bed, her tummy taut. Sensing that she was wound up and close, he pulled away and hovered over her, caging her with both hands at either side of her shoulders.

"Are you okay, Tifa?" he asked her.

Instantly, she was tossing her legs around his waist, her arms looping his neck as she nodded, her eyes now the color of cherry popsicles and filmed over with lust. "Yes," she breathed out quickly, digging her heels into the backs of his thighs. "Come on, Cloud."

That was all she needed to say. Cloud reached down and pushed his jeans and boxers down to his knees, leaning over Tifa with her legs still split open and surrounding him. His cock now free, strained and nearly purple from the lack of stimulation, he grabbed it and pumped it slowly, looking back at her as he pushed forward and slid it gently between her folds.

"I love you," he professed again.

"I love you too, Cloud," Tifa responded, her voice shadowed by adoration and desire, sending him headfirst among the stars.

He dropped his head to her shoulder and tried to concentrate as he pressed inside of her for the second time in his entire life. She was so, so tight that it almost burned away all of his already frayed brain cells, but she was no longer a virgin and lacked the barrier that had made their first time so painful for her. As he slid deeper and deeper, taking his time to not hurt her, he realized that the sounds she was making were so very different from the first time they spent together, her moans husky and coming from somewhere deep inside of her.

"Oh, Cloud," she breathed into his ear, clutching his shoulders impossibly tight and digging her fingernails into his skin until he was sure he felt the skin break. "Right there, please. Ohh, right there, mmm."

"Okay," he found himself whispering in response, not even sure why but eager to please her in any way that he could. He twirled his hips and then withdrew, earning a soft moan that escalated into a whine of his name when he dove back in, her walls gripping him.

He was beyond grateful that Tifa had chosen him when she could have had any other boy anywhere else on the planet, let alone in their tiny, backwater village. But she chose him, Cloud Strife, and he was determined to show her from now until forever that she had made the right choice.

"You're so tight, Tifa," he whispered into her ear, tangling his fingers in her hair and pulling her strands gently, losing himself in the feeling of her.

"You feel so good, Cloud," she purred under him, burying her face in the space between his neck and shoulder. It feels so… ahh, so good, mmm, Cloud…"

"TIFA?!"

Cloud had been so engrossed in the feeling of being inside of her, melting his entire body, his senses warped by her scent and the sounds she made and the sensation of wetness from the tears of pleasure that leaked from her eyes and coated his skin that he didn't register the sound of the heavy knock on the door before the deep, angry voice called for her. He had been so far gone that he missed the sounds of the footsteps when they began to echo down the hall in their direction, had been so deep in his own world with Tifa that he didn't notice the sound of the truck's engine roar when it pulled into the driveway at the front of the house or when beams of its headlights bounced off of the Lockhart's dining room windows.

And judging from the way that Tifa's eyes widened beneath him, she had missed all of it, too.

Cloud had never moved so fast in his life. He nearly catapulted himself off of Tifa, scrambling to pull up his pants with one hand while the other frantically searched the bed for his shirt. Tifa let out a scream that was best suited for a horror film, flipping her body and tearing at her bedsheets until she was able to cover herself, her face bright red and new tears streaming down her face.

Cloud turned with his shirt in hand to find Brian Lockhart standing in the threshold of Tifa's bedroom, leaning against the frame. His face was ragged and he looked like he had aged a decade since Cloud had seen him last. But it was his eyes that had Cloud swallowing his entire heart in one gulp, sending it right to the pit of his stomach.

They were bloodshot and wild with anger, the kind of anger that preceded a dangerous, deadly event. Already, the sweet, sour odor of whiskey was filling the air in Tifa's small room, and it was apparent to Cloud that her father was quite drunk.

"Strife," Brian growled low under his breath. "What are you doing to my daughter?"

"It's not - " Cloud stupidly began, eyeing his boots at the edge of Tifa's bed. "We - "

"I'm going to kill you," Brian jeered, then turned away, making his way down the hall where Cloud could hear him rummaging in his bedroom next door.

"Cloud," Tifa began in a panic, leaping up with the sheets wrapped around her as she grabbed her shirt and underwear from the floor. "You have to leave, now. I know my Dad. He's going to come back with his gun."

Cloud didn't have to be told more than once. He was already halfway into his boots, grabbing his jacket from where he'd left it on the chair by her desk and throwing it over his shoulders.

"Out the window," Tifa urged him, running to her bedroom door and locking it. Cloud heard a crash in the bedroom next door, followed by her father's murderous roar and a string of swears that he was certain shook the entire house.

"Okay," he told her, moving toward the window. He hesitated, though, turning back to her, even as he could hear Brian's boots slam the floorboards in the hallway. "I - I'm sorry, Tifa."

"Just go!" Tifa sobbed, then covered her face with both hands, shaking her head.

Cloud felt a new panic swirl inside of him, but Brian was shouting and rattling the doorknob of Tifa's door. He heard the distinct click of a shotgun being cocked, and Cloud raced for the window, pushing it open and climbing the tree between their houses, leaving Tifa alone and weeping in the center of her bed.

Mercifully, his bedroom window was open, and Cloud slipped inside, quickly snapping it shut and shuttering the blinds. His heart was a runaway train in his chest, its beats so violent that it was restricting his breathing, forcing him to almost wheeze. Without hesitating, he crossed his room and closed his bedroom door, snapping the lock shut. The last thing he wanted was his mother coming in and finding him in this state, wild with panic and an unfulfilled erection that was sending shards of pain into the center of his skull.

He leaned against the door, trying desperately to catch his breath, but even as his body's visceral responses began to settle, his mind drifted back to Tifa. Of all of the worst things that could have possibly happened, only weeks before they were set to start a new chapter of their lives, her father catching them in such an act was probably at the very top of the list.

Cloud already knew how much Brian Lockhart hated him. He already knew that Tifa was supposed to marry that idiot Hartley boy in a few years' time. He already knew that everyone in this town thought he was a troublemaker who would never be good enough for a girl like Tifa Lockhart.

But tonight, he had just proved them all right.

More than anything, his heart bled for Tifa. The last thing that he had ever wanted to do was cause her more pain and more trouble. All he had wanted to do was love her.

Cloud took a deep breath, stepping away from his door and carefully crossing the room to his window. He chanced to peek through his blinds, but when he stared ahead at Tifa's bedroom, he found it completely dark.

Picturing the way that she had broken down in humiliation, Cloud felt tears of his own threaten his eyes, and he sat on the edge of his bed, holding his head in his hands and trying to force back the apprehension and fear that was building inside of him. But it was only when he heard voices shouting from downstairs did Cloud feel that fear envelop him like an ugly black fog.

Icy terror threading through his spinal cord, Cloud carefully opened his door and quietly stepped down the hallway, stopping only when he reached the top of the staircase. From where he crouched, he could see his mother's back where she stood in the frame of their front door, her hands on her hips.

And on the stoop in front of her, shadowed by Nibelheim's cold, bleak night, was Brian Lockhart, his shotgun gripped in both hands.

"What are you talking about, Brian?" Claudia demanded. "And put that goddamned thing away! A lot of nerve you have showing up on my property with a loaded weapon!"

"Tell that bastard of yours to get down here and face me like a man," Brian slurred his shout, inching uncomfortably close to his mother. Cloud started, wanting to run down the stairs and tackle Brian to the pavement, but that double-barrel urged his better senses not to. "I caught him fucking my daughter, Claudia. What's wrong with you? Why can't you keep him under control?"

"You're wasted," Claudia immediately countered, her voice stern and her shoulders stiff and straight. It was then that Cloud realized she was carrying a kitchen knife in one hand, hidden from Brian's view where her right hand held on to the door. "I'm going to ask you once to vacate my property, or I'm going to call the police."

Brian snarled, but Cloud watched him let the shotgun sag by his side as he stumbled backward a bit. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then pointed an angry, accusing finger right in Claudia's face.

"This is the last time I will warn you, Claudia," he threatened. "Keep your bastard away from my daughter. If I see him near her again, I will kill him."

He left her with no opportunity to respond, because with that, Brian turned away, ambling down the walkway back to the street and retreating to his abode next door.

Cloud watched as his mother heaved a sigh and then shut the front door. She shook her head, then turned, twirling the knife between her hands. Cloud crossed the remaining steps, and she looked up when she saw him appear.

"Mom?" he started, dismayed by how his voice sounded like it belonged to a far, far younger version of himself, a little boy who used to hang onto his mother's skirts.

Her royal blue eyes narrowed, but then they softened with sympathy, and she shook her head again.

"Cloud," she responded, her voice soft but also sounding very afraid. "What happened?"

But Cloud could only lower his head in shame, thinking about the girl next door that he had failed and the woman in front of him that he had disappointed.

What happened?

I fucked up.