Chapter 13: Gollum and Smeagol

Narrator: Hey everyone! Nice to see you all again.

Author: Let's go to the bar again!

Narrator: No, remember what happened last night at the bar?

Author: Oh yeah! I don't own Lord of The Rings blah blah.

Narrator: Let's go!

It was the next morning in the hotel. Gollum was the first one to wake up. He moved around quietly so he wouldn't disturb anyone. A mirror was in front of him and he saw Smeagol's reflection. "Where is the precious?'' he asked Smeagol.

"Sleeping!''

"Good!''

Smeagol faded out of the mirror, and Gollum crept quietly to Saruman's bed. Saruman was on his side snoring like a horse. Gollum leaned over and kissed Saruman on the cheek. Saruman smiled and continued sleeping. Then, his eye opened, and he woke up and saw Gollum standing there. " Oh lord get away from me!'' he cried.

"But wizard, you're so cute!'' Gollum said sweetly.

"Shut up!''

"We love you!''

Saruman jumped from his bed and ran away. Gollum chased him.

"Come back,'' Gollum followed.

Sam awoke in his bed. "What the hell is going on?''

"Gollum you need help!'' Saruman said firmly.

"We need you!''

"Gollum it was a bet, get over it!'' Sam informed him.

" Shut up fat stupid hobbit!'' Gollum hissed.

" I am not fat,'' Sam said defensibly." Just big boned.''

Gollum was still chasing Saruman. Meanwhile, Celeborn, Denathor, and Gimli woke up. " Maybe I shouldn't have come here.'' Gimli sighed. "Damn, why did I jump out of the car window?''

"You are mad, that is why.'' Denathor said flatly.

Gollum was still chasing Saruman.

"Get away from me you creep!" Saruman shouted.

"Be ours!" Gollum replied happily.

"Hell no I won't!"

"I have to go to the bathroom!" Sam complained before dashing to the restroom.

Narrator: That's it for now. I can't stand Gollum. Let's observe the stalkers.

The stalkers were hiding, and planning their next move.

"So what should we do?" Ann wondered.

"Find Frodo!" Rachel suggested.

"Well duh," Heather answered. "But we need a plan."

"Then what's the plan, Heather?" Kelsey asked.

"I don't know!" Heather said frustrated.

"Can we get Frodo?" Lonny questioned.

"We need a plan dummy," Wormtongue said irritated.

"Yes," agreed Ann.

"Come on!" Lonny shouted. "I want Frodo! This picture of him will go to waste!"

"Hey Lonny, where did you get that from?" Rachel asked.

"From a website, but I can't say what it is," Lonny responded. "This story is rated T."

"You really want to know?" Heather asked Rachel incredulously.

"Yeah sis!"

"Do you guys think Eowyn will really dig this look?" Wormtongue interjected nervously.

"Sure, afros are awesome!" Ann reassured him.

"Good," Wormtongue said, feeling better.

Narrator: Well, that's the end. More will be coming very soon. I need reviews! And coffee!

Author: You don't need anymore coffee.

Narrator: Yes I do!

Author: Come on, you won't even let me go to the bar by myself.

Narrator: That's different.

Author: Oh okay. Stay tuned for the next chapter!