Melodies at Midnight

by Somebody's Nightmare

Cloud's life is defined by tragedies and failures. Following the tragic deaths of his best friends, Cloud is raising their child, still reeling from the inadequacy and anger he's had since he was ripped from the girl he had fallen in love with 10 years ago, until they reunite. She was supposed to teach his son how to play the piano. Instead, she taught him how to love again.

16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

—

[ ν ] - εγλ - 2007 | December 4th

Buried

Three days later, Tifa stood in still, chilled silence, a cloak she'd borrowed from Claudia wrapped around her, gentle breezes whipping the rain that was falling from the sky into her eyes.

She blinked, not really acknowledging the way that the raindrops stung her cheeks or blurred her vision, not even paying any attention to the way that they lined her cloak and stained her clothing with wetness. After standing there crying, staring at the misty sky that was dark despite the early hour, she could no longer decipher where the tears from heaven ended and where her own began.

She was stuck in a haze, staring at the dirt in front of her as it muddied, crawling towards a pit that seemed endless but really only went on for six feet. Hovering above it was her father's casket, rain pelting the dark glossy wood as it waited to be lowered into the ground.

Tifa felt a soft touch pull her from her thoughts, realizing that Cloud had dropped a gloved hand to her forearm. She turned to him, blinking away the wetness that coated her lashes, and Cloud squeezed her arm when their eyes met.

No words were spoken. Everything that he had to say was spoken through his eyes, his comfort and his understanding of her pain hidden in those deep turquoise depths.

Tifa pulled away from his stare to turn back to the casket. It had been three days since she woke to discover that her father had passed away in his sleep, still tucked beneath a blanket that had once belonged to her mother on his couch. Tifa had gone over to visit him that morning, only to find him unresponsive.

She knew that if it were not for Cloud and Claudia, she might not have been able to process this sudden onset of grief, much less handle all of the arrangements that she had to wade through in the wake of his death. Tifa knew that it was coming, but she hadn't been prepared for it to hit so quickly, nor was she expecting it to happen while she was in town. She'd had every intention to make her peace with her father and to return home to Midgar to focus on her own life and health, leaving everything in Nibelheim behind in the past. But it seemed that the chips were not going to fall that way.

The temple priest stood in front of the small crowd that had gathered - all townsfolk, many of whom Tifa recognized but who had aged ten years - and recited a litany of old prayers over Brian Lockhart's body that was entombed in that casket. Tifa listened to the words as they floated by, but she wasn't paying much attention at all to them or to their meaning. Her mind was shrouded in sadness, realizing that her only living kin was gone and that she was now alone in this world.

A swirling kick in the center of her belly pulled her away from that thought, though, and Tifa lowered her hand to it. She closed her eyes and inhaled, and as if in understanding even though no words had been spoken, Cloud gave her a little reassuring squeeze.

Tifa couldn't bring herself to perform the eulogy. There were too many layers of damage between her and her father, and she was still feeling too shell-shocked from the emotional roller coaster of this visit back home to speak coherently in front of a crowd. Instead, she stood back and listened while Jonathan Hartley, Brian's former associate and Jody's father, spoke on her father's life.

"Brian Lockhart had been one of the pillars of this community for as long as I can remember," Jonathan Hartley intoned from a foot away from the grave. "Even when we were in high school, he was a leader. This town would not be what it is today were it not for him."

Tifa listened, but she couldn't concentrate on Hartley's statements. They drifted past her, bringing her back to a time that was so distant that it almost didn't seem real to her anymore. She barely remembered her father being a young, broad-shouldered solicitor in the village whom everyone respected. Her memories were crowded with images of him red-faced and slack-jawed, his voice slurred and his body tilted with drink that slowly began to eat away at him.

And now, here they are.

She stood there in the rain and listened for a while longer, letting her thoughts descend to another place while the processions moved on around her. Her hand remained fixed to her belly, and Cloud remained fixed to her side. Eventually, the crowd began to thin and disperse, and Tifa found herself standing in the quiet of the rain, staring at the covered casket with only Cloud and his mother, Claudia, remaining.

"Tifa," Cloud gently called her name, moving from her side to stand in front of her. He had taken both of her arms, was pulling on them gently, trying to capture her attention. "You okay? The service is over. We - we should go home."

Tifa looked up at him, raindrops catching to her lashes and blurring her vision. Cloud's lips were turned down into a concerned pout, and when their eyes met, Tifa felt his hands squeeze her forearms even tighter.

A palm on her shoulder reminded her that they were not alone. She turned to see Claudia move to nod at her as well, offering her a reassuring smile.

The weights that had tangled themselves up into the center of her chest began to unwind and slip away. Tifa looked back at both sets of placid blue eyes, reminding herself that although she had lost both her parents, she was never truly without family.

Finally, she let the facade of her melancholy crack.

"Okay," she responded, turning back to Cloud and letting her hand find his. "Let's… go home."

—

Following Brian's funeral, Tifa found herself moving through the motions of packing up their things to return to Midgar, still numb from the circumstances of the week but finding herself slowly making headway in wading through everything that had happened in that stretch of days. She hadn't cried a single star-tear since her father's death, she noted absently to herself, but her body still felt sore and achy, exhaustion still rippling through her bones.

Claudia had implored them to stay for at least another night, but Cloud was eager to get home to Denzel after being away for nearly a week and Tifa had already had enough of Nibelheim to last a lifetime. It would always be her home, would always have a place reserved for it somewhere in her heart. But it was far past time to move on.

Cloud was quiet while they packed their things up, but Tifa noticed that his eyes never ventured too far from her. He was giving her space to mourn and to grieve, but he was keeping an eye out for her, always making sure that she was okay, even if it was from a distance.

No matter how tumultuous matters inside her heart felt, this constant reassurance meant everything to Tifa and it put her somewhat at ease.

Their airship was scheduled to depart late that afternoon, and so once they were packed, Cloud and Tifa brought their few luggage to the front door to say goodbye to Claudia. She met them at the door, prepared to send them off. She handed Tifa a tightly wrapped brown paper bag.

"Some sweets that I baked last night," she told her, offering her and Cloud both a warm smile. "Should hold you over on the trip… just make sure you save some for Denzel and Marlene, okay?"

"Of course," Tifa agreed.

She and Cloud both exchanged hugs and kisses with his mother, and she stood on the front porch as they made their way to the curb where the taxi Cloud had called was waiting for them. Cloud's hand was glued to the small of her back, keeping her steady as they went.

"It's all over," he told Tifa as they made their way, taking her hand to guide her.

She was inclined to agree, ready to let the depression of the day's and week's events slip past and be forgotten. She thought about the baby growing inside of her, reminding herself once again that it was time to move on - it was time to heal.

"You're right," Tifa agreed, squeezing his hand where they were joined. "I think that -"

"Tifa?"

Tifa turned at the sound of the voice, feeling something icy snap along her veins when she recognized its tenor. It had shifted slightly with time, but it was still the same, a voice she hadn't heard in a decade but one that she admittedly could not forget.

Cloud's body seemed to stiffen into a board at her side, only confirming the fear that was suddenly clinging to her spine.

Tifa turned, finding Jody Hartly standing on the sidewalk, having rounded a nearby corner and waiting for her by the street sign. He still looked the same, for the most part, Tifa noted - the same sandy ash-brown hair and cold blue eyes, the same tall but slight build. There were now lines etched around his eyes and across his forehead, and stubble lined his cheeks in a shadow that looked as if he had neglected to shave it away for days.

Tifa started to open her mouth. Words were failing her, caught up somewhere in her throat. She had no idea what to say to this man - her last interaction with him before she'd left Nibelheim had been so unpleasant that there were not many things she could imagine saying that would make this exchange any less uncomfortable. In fact, her greatest fear about returning to their hometown was running into someone like him.

"Jody," was all she could manage in a whisper.

Cloud moved her behind him so quickly that Tifa could only simply blink in surprise, stunned by the way his hand was protectively shielding the front of her body.

"What do you want?" Cloud demanded instantly. His voice was low and measured but filled with a quiet rage. Tifa's memories were instantly flooded with images of Cloud's fistfights with Jody Hartley and boys from the village in the past, and she felt her sense of panic rise, grabbing onto his bicep in an attempt to calm him down.

Jody was peering over Cloud's shoulder in an attempt to get a better look at her, Tifa realized, and this only seemed to make Cloud further vexed. He folded his arms over his chest.

"I didn't know you were in town," Jody said, more to Tifa than to Cloud.

"My father just died," Tifa stated over Cloud's shoulder. Just saying the words out loud brought back the deep stab of pain she had been feeling over the course of the last several days. "We are leaving now."

Cloud growled low in his throat, seemingly ready to contribute something of his own to this back and forth. But Jody was stepping closer to them on the sidewalk.

"I - I heard," he responded softly. "I was really sorry to hear about it, Tifa. I would've been at the funeral this morning, Tifa, but I had to be at the reactor, meltdown in the core."

"You're working at the reactor?" Cloud barked, his voice caught between a blend of incredulous and self-satisfied.

Jody directed his attention to Cloud, his brow furrowing deeply. "Strife," he finally acknowledged.

Tifa could feel her heart beginning to pick up speed as she realized that a confrontation was on the horizon, Jody taking another step closer and Cloud visibly tensing up, his shoulders growing tight. She pulled herself away from Cloud's hold, stepping out from behind him to make herself fully visible at his side.

Jody stopped where he was making his way towards them, his eyes falling back to her. They widened somewhat, the watery blue in his irises seeming to dull at the realization that she was standing at Cloud's side, very, very pregnant.

"Tifa," Jody went on without continuing his earlier train of thoughts. His attention was completely transfixed on her, and all it succeeded in doing was making her feel terribly uncomfortable. "You're -"

"Pregnant," Cloud snapped, his turn to step forward, rather aggressively, Tifa thought. "Pregnant and taken. So why don't you keep it moving, Hartley? We have a flight to catch."

Cloud's arm quickly found hers again, pulling her in close in a possessive hold. Jody could only stand there, staring, his mouth hanging open and words unable to form.

Tifa glanced at him, remembering the humiliation of all those years ago.

Without saying a word - not even a goodbye - she turned away, letting Cloud guide her to their taxi, carefully climbing her way into the backseat.

—

Tifa slept her way through most of their travels back to Midgar, letting the exhaustion of the week seep away, a painkiller numbing the worst of her aches and pains. Cloud kept an arm affectionately around her shoulders and a hand glued to her belly throughout their travels, but aside from that, he was quiet and they didn't speak at all about their run-in with Jody as they left the village.

As far as Tifa was concerned, she was happy to never speak of anything she'd left behind in Nibelheim ever again. There was nothing but pain and sadness to be found looking back over those mountains.

They were both quiet when they returned to Cloud's apartment in Sector Five, their travels having wrought the worst out of both their bones. Tifa made a call to Barret to let him know that they were home, her friend promising to drop Denzel off within the hour. Cloud left their bags by the door, and Tifa eyed them, vowing in the back of her mind to unpack their things tomorrow. She was simply too tired to entertain it tonight.

All she wanted to do was fall into bed.

"I'm tired," she told Cloud as she hung her coat up by the door. "I think - I think I'm going to go to bed a little early tonight, Cloud. That took a lot out of me."

Tifa wasn't sure if she was talking about their travel home or everything about that past week, but either way, the feeling was true.

Cloud glanced at her, widening his eyes slightly before he blinked. She was just about to turn away when he came up to her, taking her by the wrists.

"Tifa, wait."

Tifa turned to him, looking up into his eyes. That deep aquamarine was placid and calm, and there was something pleading layered behind it. She found herself melting, unable to resist the look he pinned her with.

"W-what is it?" she asked.

Cloud looked down, and Tifa was surprised to find that his cheeks were beginning to flush. Without meeting her eyes, he gave her a gentle nudge in the direction of the couch.

"Uh, Tifa? Why… why don't you have a seat for a sec?"

Tifa was admittedly perplexed by his sudden shift in demeanor, nonetheless allowing him to gently guide her to sit on the couch. Instead of sitting next to her, though, he crouched down on his knees in front of her, gently pushing her legs apart so that he could settle between them.

Tifa blushed, looking down at him over her baby bump. He grabbed both of her knees, offering them a gentle squeeze before he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to her swollen tummy.

"Cloud?" Tifa queried. "Is everything alright?"

Cloud's cheeks were still warm with color, but this time, he let himself meet her eyes. "Everything's fine, Tifa," he responded. "I - I'm sorry for everything that's happened."

Tifa's heart began to pick up in speed, unable to imagine why Cloud was apologizing. He had been there for her every step of the way, had never once ventured from her side, supported her and their unborn child even as she struggled with a sickness that was putting everything at risk. How could he ever think that he had anything to be sorry for?

She leaned forward the best that she could over her distended stomach, gently touching Cloud's cheek with her palm. As soon as the warmth of her skin greeted his, he closed his eyes, leaning into her touch.

"Don't be sorry, Cloud," Tifa sighed softly. "You've done nothing but support me, all this time. I - I would never have been able to return to Nibelheim and face my father, much less cope with his death, without you at my side."

"But Tifa, I -"

"Cloud," Tifa cut him off, smiling at him when he pouted in her direction.

Cloud seemed to take the hint because he nodded, but then Tifa saw him reaching into his pocket for something. He pulled it out but kept it enclosed in his fist, holding his hand between their bodies where he was still crouched on the floor.

"Tifa," Cloud began softly. "I - I have something to tell you."

Tifa felt the familiar rise of her heartbeat again, unable to tear her eyes from his. "Y-yes? What is it?"

Cloud looked down for a second, squeezing her knee as his shoulders heaved. He breathed in heavily, then turned back to her.

"Tifa, I - I visited your father the other day. The… day before he died."

Tifa just stared down at him, silent.

"I - I didn't tell you, because I didn't want to upset you, or for you to try to stop me," Cloud continued to explain. "But I needed to set the record straight with him, Teef, man to man. I'm sorry."

Tifa's heart was now pounding, and she could feel the way her breathing grew thin in her lungs. She blinked, trying to process what Cloud was saying.

"Cloud, I don't… what did he say?"

Cloud looked down as if gathering his bearings. His right fist was still enclosed around the tiny object, but Tifa had already discarded the thought of it.

"I -" Cloud struggled, seemingly combing over his words in the back of his mind before he uttered them. "I… I wanted him to know the truth about us, Tifa. I didn't want to walk away from this town a second time without telling him how I felt, no matter how he felt about it or how much he hated it."

Tifa blinked, feeling her eyes begin to burn at the corners.

"I made him a promise," Cloud went on. "I - promised him that I would always love you and take care of you, and… that I would marry you."

At that, Tifa felt every capillary in her blood seize and burst, her thoughts drifting to her father and how he must have taken that. But before she could say anything in response, Cloud had taken her hand and was opening his, revealing a band of platinum Mythril with a pair of light and dark green gemstones buried into a heart-shaped inset. Tifa stared down at the ring, then glanced back up at Cloud, blinking at him in confusion.

"Cloud…."

"Will you marry me, Tifa?"

Tifa stared at the ring a moment longer, then looked back to Cloud's face. His blue eyes were wide, hopeful, pleading. His hand that held that band of jewels was beginning to shake.

Tifa thought over the words that had just drifted up towards her from his lips, disbelieving. He wanted to marry her?

Had even promised her father that he would, before he died?

"It… it was my mom's ring," Cloud continued when she still hadn't responded. It belonged to my grandmother. You know that my father never married my mother, and, well…she gave it to me, so I could give it to you."

Tifa inhaled deeply, parting her lips as she tried to formulate a response. But as if to spur her on, Tifa felt a kick low in her tummy from the baby.

"Tifa?" Cloud pleaded softly.

"Yes," Tifa finally answered breathlessly, her voice choked as the first sobs escaped. "Yes, Cloud, I will marry you."

And then, Cloud had his head on her belly and his arms wrapped around her waist, both of them sobbing, through joy and sadness and renewal.

And leaving the past behind.

—

[ ν ] - εγλ - 2007 | Feb 4th

Song of Renewal

Cloud wrapped an arm tight around Tifa's waist, pulling her in close to him against the bitter winter chills that were currently plaguing Midgar. The bright laughter and chatter of children and families were clinging to the air around them, and Cloud shoved his free hand deep into the pocket of his jacket, trying not to roll his eyes at the slow procession of the line they were standing in at the elementary school's auditorium.

Tifa let out a few tiny puffs of air, her breath blowing wide in the cold of the night. She was leaned slightly against him, using his body for support.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Cloud asked for was had surely been the one-hundredth time that night. "I told you, you should have stayed home and rested, Tifa."

Tifa turned to him, shining a bright smile at him, her cheeks stung pink from the cold. "What, and miss my greatest pupil's first-ever concert? Not a chance in Hades, Cloud."

Cloud laughed softly, squeezing Tifa to him. They were attending the school's winter concert, the first where Denzel would be performing on the piano in front of an audience. He had been excited about it for weeks, and Tifa had been using her spare time to help him practice and prepare.

Even so, it didn't mean that her pregnancy had gotten any easier. It was still strained by the complications of her disease, and their trip to Nibelheim the month prior and her father's death had not helped things in the slightest. Tifa continued to put up a brave face for everyone around her, but Cloud could read through the pages of her book without even trying. He had always been able to.

But Tifa was stubborn, more stubborn than even he could control. She insisted on continuing to work at Seventh Heaven, capitulating to his and Barret's demands only by agreeing she would reduce her hours and stick to light duties, like ledger work or helping Jessie with the recipes in the kitchen. Cloud and Barret both refused to let her anywhere near the stockroom or to lift a dish that weighed more than a cup of coffee.

Nonetheless, Cloud was able to spend more time with her. He'd started his new assignment teaching the rookie SOLDIER cadets at Headquarters, and the new hours meant he could be home before the winter's sun had yet to go down over Midgar. He was no longer stuck with messy jobs like killing monsters, or providing security detail to bitchy executives like Scarlet, or kept away from home with long courier assignments across the globe. His work was now steady and predictable and manageable, and best of all, he finally had benefits and a paycheck that was worthy of a man trying to raise and provide for a family.

One of the school's administrators began to move the line along, and Cloud gently nudged Tifa with a hand to her back so that they could follow the queue inside. They filed in along the rows inside the dark amphitheater, listening to the happy voices of parents and loved ones as they slid into seats. Cloud was gesturing for Tifa to sit in one of the middle rows when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Cloud, Tifa," the voice said.

It was Marle. She had one hand on her hip, and she was offering them both a motherly smile. Tifa leaned over, making sure to give Marle a hug despite how her baby bump was in the way.

"Marle!" Tifa exclaimed. "We are so excited for tonight. Denzel has been practicing night and day."

Marle released Tifa from her hug and stepped back with a grin. "I am quite sure," she agreed. "He's been staying after school every day for months now. Quite the dedication this young man has."

Tifa giggled, but Marle was turning to Cloud then, offering him a wink.

"Seems you've managed with him rather well, after all, haven't you?"

Cloud felt his cheeks grow bright and hot, and he turned away from Marle, focussing his attention on helping Tifa find her seat.

"Yeah, I guess so," he agreed, ignoring the way that Marle burst out into laughter at his bashfulness.

He settled into a seat at Tifa's side, helping her slide her arms out of her coat. Her belly had swelled so much in just the last few weeks alone that even the simplest of maneuverings were challenging for her. When she was finally settled and comfortable in her seat, Cloud wrapped his arm around her shoulder, holding her gently and letting his gaze fall to where her hands rested on the top of her bump.

Shining under the stage lights that streamed in from above, Cloud could see the sparkling highlights of the ring she wore on her left hand, a silent commitment of herself to him.

Cloud couldn't help the stretch of smug satisfaction that pulled at his lips at that moment, seeing the way the twin emerald and peridot jewels shined under the lights, catching their refractions in every cut. As if noticing that he was watching her, Tifa turned to him, catching his eyes.

"What?" she asked himself softly.

Cloud let himself smile in response to her. "Nothing," he answered. "I just think that ring really suits you."

Tifa grinned, and Cloud realized it was one of the happiest expressions he had seen her wear in a while. She held up her hand, extending her fingers and letting the Mythril and the gems glitter in the light. "I never really thought of green as one of my colors," she said. "But… I think you're right. We've got to start planning the wedding, Cloud."

At this, Cloud felt his stomach turn to water. He wanted to marry Tifa, but planning nor participating in a wedding was definitely not his cup of tea. He shook the thought away, instead taking Tifa's hand in his and dropping them both to her belly, feeling for the rolling tumble of the life inside.

"One thing at a time, Teef," he told her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Before she could respond, the lights began to dim and the school's concert teacher appeared on stage, announcing the program of the school's winter concert. Cloud sat there, holding Tifa with his arm around her, his attention focused on the stage.

As the curtain went up and Cloud watched the procession of children's concert activities - everything from skits to choir medleys to dance performances - Cloud let his mind pass over the events of the past year. He had been in a bad place before Tifa returned to his life - he was failing Denzel, drinking too much, on the verge of getting himself fired, and was quite possibly teetering near the edge of a mental breakdown or becoming suicidal. After everything that happened - especially with the deaths of his friends - he had given up on life and had become so numb that he hadn't even realized it.

Now, months and months later - his outlook on life had completely changed. Despite the crater that erupted between him and Tifa when they parted ways all those years ago, his love for her had never stopped burning, eternal like the flame of the Candle in Cosmo Canyon. He could admit to himself and perhaps no one else that Tifa had always been the key to his own existence - he had realized it the first moment he'd met her that afternoon in the rain in front of a jeweler's shop in Nibelhiem - and after all of these years of separation and depression, she had helped piece him back together again, simply by existing.

Now, he had found ways to move past all of his anxiety and guilt and the worst parts of his personality that had been plaguing him all these years. He'd learned how to be a better, more attentive father to Denzel. He stopped drinking so much and put his focus on keeping his body in better health. He got the help he needed to move past Zack and Aerith's deaths, and he'd fallen into a much better place with Tifa, so much so that she was having his baby and she was going to be his wife.

A year ago, none of this would have seemed possible to him.

Cloud let that thought drift away as the lights on the stage shifted again. This time, they revealed the school's elementary school band, the students set in a semi-circle around the stage, arranged by instrument. Toward the middle rear, Cloud could see the piano, Denzel seated studiously behind it, a messy wave of light brown hair spilling into his forehead and shining under the lights.

Cloud had never felt so much pride swell inside of him in his life.

Tifa reached across his lap and held his hand as they watched, the band teacher acting as the conductor and leading the students through their performances of several whimsical songs. Cloud kept his attention squared on Denzel, watching as the boy, his best friend's son who had now become his own, ran his fingers across the keys in a fashion that betrayed the skill he had learned over the past years. It reminded Cloud how destiny had pulled all of them together, how that one schoolyard fight Denzel had gotten into reconnected him with Tifa, bringing them all to this moment.

The music stopped and Cloud's eyes widened, shocked to find that under the shift of colors of the spotlights, the other students had stopped playing and Denzel had now begun a piano solo, each note ringing out throughout the auditorium. The notes were simple but clean, and Cloud recognized them, his heart picking up speed as he watched the concentration that was molded to Denzel's face, the way sweat trickled down his brow from the heat of the stage lamps.

Do, Re, Me, Ti, La. Do, Re, Me, So, Fa, Do Re Do.

I know this song.

"Hey," Tifa whispered softly at his side, squeezing his hand again. "I - I taught him this song."

Cloud blinked, thinking back to the days when Tifa had played for him in her room, to the way their romance had slowly and shakily rekindled over the keys of a piano just a few months ago. He turned to her, catching the profile of her face and seeing a single tear escape from her eye as she watched Denzel play.

Cloud was having a difficult time processing the confusing turbulence of his feelings at that moment when the song ended, and soon, the concert was over. The families in the audience began to file out, parents heading backstage to collect their children and take them home. Cloud helped Tifa to her feet, waiting with her at his side where they stood in the aisle for Denzel to join them.

Tifa wavered slightly at his side, putting her weight on Cloud again. He snapped out of his thoughts, turning his attention to her.

You alright?" he asked her.

Tifa nodded, but Cloud could see the strain in her face. He held her steady, turning back and looking for Denzel again in the crowd.

"I'm fine," she responded, but her voice was thin. "Just… ready to go home."

It was then that Denzel finally found them, capturing Cloud's attention by pulling on his jacket. Still holding onto Tifa with one hand, Cloud turned to him.

"There you are," he greeted him, ruffling his hand through Denzel's messy flop of hair. "Denzel, you were amazing. Ms. Collins said you'd gotten really good, but you blew that out of the water. You didn't tell us you had a solo!"

Denzel was blushing, clearly overtaken by the praise. He grinned and then looked up, his eyes searching Tifa's face.

"What did you think, Tifa?" he asked.

Tifa smiled at him, but Cloud could feel the way she was leaning even more heavily into him. She opened her mouth, her hand seeking purchase on his forearm. Her smile quickly flashed to one of pain.

"I think," she began, and Cloud turned to face her, taking her in both of his arms. "I think…"

She pitched forward against Cloud, one hand to her belly, her face pale, and Cloud was instantly holding her in an effort to keep her from spilling to the floor.

"…It's time."

—

Cloud paced back and forth in the waiting room of the maternity wing, waiting for the nurse to admit him into Tifa's room. Denzel was sitting on one of the couches, momentarily distracted by the tablet Tifa and Cloud had bought him as a gift for Yule.

Tifa, apparently, had been silently sitting through painful contractions throughout the performance, but upon getting to her feet, quickly lost her water and nearly passed out in Cloud's arms. They rushed her to the hospital - Cloud calling Barret and demanding he meet them there - and because the baby was arriving a month prematurely, she was admitted into the maternity's ICU ward and Cloud was asked to be patient and wait until she was stabilized. The rational part of his brain knew that it was a logical and reasonable request, but he couldn't help the panic that was erupting through him as he waited.

"How she doin?" he heard a gruff voice bark.

Cloud whirled around to find Barret had made his way into the maternity ward, Marlene at his hip. The little girl was a ball of excitement, jumping up and down at his side.

"Did Tifa have the baby yet, Cloud?" she instantly demanded, running up to him.

Cloud was immediately overwhelmed. He rubbed the back of his neck, taking a step back from Marlene and shaking his head.

"Not yet," he answered, looking up at Barret. "Listen, you know she's been having all of these complications, and I just don't -"

"Mr. Strife?"

Cloud stopped his panicked explanation to Barret, turning to find a nurse in blue scrubs waving at him for his attention. Barret lifted an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Your girlfriend has been stabilized. You can go in and see her now."

Without another word, Cloud turned on his heel and followed the nurse.

They passed through a set of busy hospital corridors, Cloud's mind racing in tempo with his heart as he thought about Tifa and their baby, of all of the difficulties of her pregnancy and how her illness had complicated things even further.

All he wanted was for her and the baby to be okay.

"The doctor is trying to induce labor quickly," The nurse explained as she hurried along, and Cloud found it difficult to match her pace. "The baby was in just a bit of distress, but vitals look good now. I wouldn't worry, sir. Dr. Crescent is quite capable and everything is looking okay for now."

Cloud could feel the way his panic skyrocketed, but even as he opened his mouth to respond, he found that his throat had dried out and the words wouldn't come. But the nurse was paying him no mind anyway, pushing open the door to a private room and leading him inside.

Cloud found Tifa propped up on the center of a gurney in the room, surrounded by medical equipment. There were two other nurses in the room, both hovering over Tifa and taking turns examining her before flitting away. The first nurse deposited Cloud into the room and then left, and he stood there, scratching the back of his head.

"Cloud," Tifa greeted him from across the room.

She was paler than usual and her forehead was lined with sweat, but other than that, she seemed okay and alert, aside from the way that her expression was pinched with pain. Upon noticing his arrival, the other two nurses got out of the way, grabbing Tifa's chart and making their way out.

"Keep taking deep breaths and chewing on that ice," one of them instructed. "You're hovering around eight centimeters, so we're close. Dr. Crescent will be right in."

Tifa nodded, then turned her attention back to Cloud. She opened her mouth to say something, but then she winced and let out a sharp cry of pain.

"Tifa!" Cloud shouted, instantly making his way to her side.

Tifa blinked up at him, then let out a heavy breath. She rest a hand on her belly, the corner of her eyes pinched. After gathering her bearings for a moment, she turned back to Cloud.

"It's okay," she huffed. "We're… okay."

"Are you sure?" Cloud couldn't help but frantically ask. He was so worried and seeing that pain carved into Tifa's beautiful features wasn't helping any. He grabbed her hand, his thumb stroking the underside of her palm. "Are you in pain?"

"I'm sure," Tifa breathed. "It's just… it's just the contractions, Cloud. Everything is okay. The baby will be -"

She stopped again, gasping and closing her eyes in a tight wince. Just watching her made Cloud feel as if his heart was trapped in the same vice.

"Tifa…"

He watched Tifa struggle through it, and when her eyes opened again and fell back to his, she offered him a smile. She let her head fall back against the pillow, expelling another breath.

"Don't worry so much," she told him. "I'm just glad you're here. You know Cloud, we hadn't decided on a name…"

Cloud lifted Tifa's hand and pressed a kiss to the top of it in response. They hadn't had much time to think of such things, and Cloud had been expecting them to have an entire additional month to figure it out. And truth be told, all he was worried about was Tifa and the baby and that they would both be safe and healthy; they could figure out all the other shit later.

"Don't worry, Tifa," he promised her. "We'll work it out later, okay? I just want you to concentrate on breathing right now like the nurse said."

Tifa nodded, laying her head back again the pillow, and Cloud parked himself by the side of her bed, holding her hand and wincing every time another contraction tore through her.

The next thirty minutes passed by in a whirlwind. Before Cloud could fully grasp what was happening, Tifa was beginning to scream at the top of her lungs, nurses instantly crowding the room. Cloud was quickly shoved out of the way, and he noticed Dr. Crescent arrive, covered from head to toe in scrubs and protective sterile gear. She made her way to the foot of Tifa's bed, calmly issuing directives to everyone around her.

Cloud hung back off to one side, his eyes glued to Tifa's face. His heart was a runaway train in his chest, pounding so hard against his ribcage that he could feel the sharp pains of angina clutch inside him. He tried to breathe, knowing that he needed to hold himself together to be strong for Tifa and the baby, but everything was happening so quickly that he almost felt knocked over sideways.

Tifa screamed a few more times, and Cloud's vision was beginning to blur from his own internalized panic. But a new cry soon joined Tifa's, this one sharped and high-pitched, a bright wail that left the nurses cheering as they hovered and fluttered about.

A baby's cry.

"It's a girl," Dr. Crescent said to Tifa, then turned over her shoulder to glance at Cloud, offering him a wink and a smile.

Cloud watched in fascination as Dr. Crescent cut the umbilical cord and the pair of nurses rushed the baby off to one side, checking its vitals and cleaning it off. Tifa was panting and breathing heavily, sweat pouring down the sides of her face.

A girl…

Tifa met eyes with Cloud where he stood, offering him a wan smile. Then, she closed her eyes, sighing out a deep breath of exhaustion.

Cloud made his way to her side, his heart still louder than any of the clamorous sounds around them. He took Tifa's hand in his, feeling the sweat in her palm, and she opened her eyes to look at him.

"Tifa," he managed to gasp. "That was… you're amazing. Are you okay? How do you feel?"

Tifa held her smile, shaking her head from side to side across her pillow. "I'm okay…" she trailed off in response. "Just really tired. Where's…"

Before she could finish, one of the nurses appeared with the baby wrapped in a set of striped blue and white blankets. Her crying had mostly stopped, down to whimpers that began to seep away the closer she got to Tifa. At once, Tifa sat up fully in the bed and outstretched her arms.

"I'll let you have a few moments with her, and hopefully it will get your milk started," Dr. Crescent was explaining off to the side. "But because she is a bit premature, I would like to get her into the NICU for monitoring for a bit."

Cloud could only stand there and watch as Tifa gathered his daughter into her arms and cradled her close. The baby was so tiny, smaller than he had been anticipating, with just a hint of wispy dark hair on her crown. Her eyes were closed, and she was breathing raspy, a tiny thumb already in her mouth.

Cloud stared, his body frozen. The baby curled up close to Tifa, cooing softly into the flesh of her breasts, and then she turned her little head slightly, her eyes opening as she blinked up at her father for the very first time.

Her eyes were blue, a deeper blue than the oceans of Costa Del Sol, the deepest royal blue he had ever seen.

She was beautiful.

"Cloud," Tifa called, snapping him out of his daze. He glanced up at her, catching the tired smile on her face.

"We need to name her," Tifa insisted.

Cloud blinked, watching another line of sweat pass down Tifa's brow. He glanced back down at the baby, watching in awe as she snuggled against Tifa's bosom in an effort to get closer to her.

Cloud thought about it, trying to imagine a hundred different names that would suit something as beautiful as this baby girl, his daughter, the product of his and Tifa's love for one another that had been so hard-fought for over a decade.

Cloud closed his eyes, thinking of every special moment he'd shared with Tifa, of the moments they spent under the stars and of the very first moment that he had met her, the weather unforgiving as it fell down on them. He opened his eyes again, glancing at the baby before turning back to Tifa.

"Rain," he replied.

Tifa smiled, and Cloud could see in the brightness of her eyes that she understood. Seeing the infectious joy spread across her face as she nodded in agreement, Cloud couldn't help the way he smiled in response, and then he bent over, hugging Tifa and Rain, holding them both tight in his arms.

He would never let them go.

—

To the One I Love

[ μ ] - εγλ - 9/14/97

09:57:03 PM

From: Cloud Strife 1980

To: Tifa Lockhart beatrushbeauty81

Subject: Hey

Dear Tifa,

It's been a couple of weeks since you left for university. I wanted to write you earlier, but I was scared. It feels kind of funny writing that down here, but it's true. I really wasn't sure how you'd react so I decided to keep to myself for a while, but Tifa, I couldn't take it anymore.

How are you doing? What's your dorm like? Have you started your classes? What's Midgar like? When I lived there, I remember it being really smoggy and crowded. But you're in Sector 7, right? I've heard that Sector is one of the nicest ones. I hope you're adjusting to the move okay. I really wish I was there to help you get settled the way we planned.

I'm really sorry for what happened this summer. I never meant to get you in trouble. I think your dad is being really unfair, but it doesn't matter, I guess. The only thing that matters is that I really miss you, a lot, Tifa. I can't stop thinking about you, not since the moment you left me alone by the water tower. You're the only thing on my mind and it's driving me crazy.

Please, Tifa. Let's talk about this, okay? Please write me back and tell me that we can find a way to work this out. Just because your dad is pissed off doesn't mean we have to break up. I promised you that we'd always be together, right? Let me keep my promise, Tifa. I will find a way to do it.

I'm sorry for everything and I hope you forgive me. Please, Tifa, give me another chance. Please write to me. Soon.

I love you.

Love,

Cloud

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.

.

[ μ ] - εγλ - 9/27/97

02:19:23 AM

From: Cloud Strife 1980

To: Tifa Lockhart beatrushbeauty81

Subject: Re: Hey

Dear Tifa,

I hope you are doing okay. I haven't heard back from you yet, and I worry about you a lot. I know it must be hard for you to be alone trying to get used to the city and a new environment. If I was there, I would have made sure you were okay. I would have helped you move all your stuff into your new dorm and you would never have to worry about being lonely, because I would always be there to hug you or hold you or spend time with you.

I miss you so much.

Anyway, I have some news. This morning a letter from Shinra came in the mail for me. I was conscripted, Tifa. I guess that joke about becoming another cog in the system is now a reality. I guess it's funny, but it's not. I'm scared, Tifa. The Wutai War is getting really ugly and I don't want to die.

I was thinking about it all day after I opened the letter. My mom is really upset. She's been crying all day. She keeps saying if only I would just go to college, I wouldn't have to worry about this. But I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I got the letter and so I'm leaving for Midgar in about a week.

I'll be stationed in Sector 0, near the Shinra Building, in case you're wondering. That's right in the heart of the city. It wouldn't be that hard for me to take the train to Sector 7 to come and see you, Teef. This might actually work out for the best, you know? I won't be that far away from you, and your father doesn't have to know anything about it, Tifa. We can be together.

Please, write me back. I'm sure you're really busy, but I miss you so much and I really want to talk to you soon.

I love you.

Love,

Cloud

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.

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[ μ ] - εγλ - 10/17/97

06:49:16 AM

From: Cloud Strife 1980

To: Tifa Lockhart beatrushbeauty81

Subject: Re: Hey

Dear Tifa,

How are you? I'm kinda worried because you haven't responded to me yet. I know that you are probably swamped with school. It's the middle of the semester, right? How are your studies going? What classes are you taking this semester? Have you been able to play the piano much since you've moved out there? I really miss listening to you play. I listen to the CD you gave me all of the time, but it's not the same as sitting next to you and listening to you play.

Anyway, I've been in Midgar for a couple of weeks now. I have to go through BASIC, which is a training simulation program that all recruits have to complete. Right now, based on my assessment results, they've placed me with the infantry, which means I'll be on the front lines when we deploy to Wutai. I'm not gonna lie, Tifa, I'm really nervous about it. A lot of grunts have died over there, the fighting is really bad and the war has escalated the last few months. Before I left Midgar I was watching the news a lot with my mom, it was helping me keep my mind off things. But now, I can't stop thinking about the fact that I'm going to be fighting in a war.

I guess the good news is the Infantry has a direct path into SOLDIER. Remember when we saw those posters of Sephiroth, Tifa, and how we used to talk about what it must be like to be in SOLDIER? Well, since I'm here now, I've decided that I'm going to do everything that I can to get into SOLIDER. I want to be First Class. I hope that at least will make you proud of me. Maybe your dad won't hate me so much.

Anyway, It's pretty early here and I have to get to training in about fifteen minutes. We get in big trouble if we report late. Everything is so strict here, and everybody is constantly yelling at me. I hate it, but there's not much I can do about it. I've already gotten into trouble once and it wasn't fun at all. I hope you are at least enjoying yourself and that college is everything you hoped it would be.

Please respond back to me when you get some time, Teef. I really miss you a lot. It doesn't have to be anything serious, I just want to know that you're okay.

I'll talk to you soon.

I love you.

Love,

Cloud

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.

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[ μ ] - εγλ - 12/8/97

12:12:43 AM

From: Cloud Strife 1980

To: Tifa Lockhart beatrushbeauty81

Subject: Re: Hey

Dear Tifa,

How are you? I'm sorry I haven't written to you in a while. I've been really busy the last month and a half. I was deployed to Wutai at the beginning of November, and I've been here ever since.

This country is so much different from Nibelheim or Midgar, Teef. It's really pretty here, you know? We've been stationed in some forests near the coast, just outside of Fort Tamblin, where a lot of the SOLDIER operatives fighting under General Sephiroth are located. Even the architecture is different here - most of the buildings and houses are pagoda-styled, and so many of them are painted red. Seems like it's an important color in this country, but I'm not sure what it symbolizes. I've fought a few Wutain ninjas Tifa and let me tell you, they're no joke. But so far we haven't had any casualties in our squadron, so I'm thankful for that at least. I'm still a little scared, though. I'd never tell anyone else but you that.

There's no mako here at all, so the air smells clean, fresh… I don't think I've ever experienced anything like it before, you know? I've been around mako my entire life, now that I think about it. Speaking of mako, did you know that SOLDIERS are bathed in it, to enhance their abilities? We had to attend a training course on it, just in case we are recruited. I'm determined to get in, Tifa. SOLDIERS are really elite and they get all sorts of job perks.

Enough about me, though. How have you been, Tifa? I know school is probably really intense. One of my infantry mates has a girlfriend who is in college too, and he talks about her a lot. It always makes me sad, because I don't know how you are doing. I think about you being in class or playing the piano all the time. It's almost the end of the semester, right? Do you have finals soon? Are you going home to Nibelheim for Yule?

I wish I could see you, Tifa. I would give anything to be able to come visit you. But it looks like I'm going to be in Wutai for several months for this tour, so I don't know when I'll have an opportunity anytime soon. But at least we have access to email, so please, write me back as soon as you can.

I miss you so much, Tifa.

I love you. I haven't stopped. I won't stop, no matter what.

Love,

Cloud

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.

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[ μ ] - εγλ - 2/14/98

05:38:26 PM

From: Cloud Strife 1980

To: Tifa Lockhart beatrushbeauty81

Subject: Happy Valentine's Day

Dear Tifa,

I hope you're doing okay. I'm sorry that I haven't written in a while, I've just been really busy and I didn't want to bother you too much, since I haven't heard from you yet. I just got back to base after being in Wutai for the last couple of months, but they've stationed me in Junon so unfortunately, I won't be around if you wanted to meet up in Midgar.

Wutai was crazy which is why I really couldn't write for a while. We lost network access around the New Year and things got really rough on the coast. I don't know if you've been watching the news, but Godo finally surrendered. I'm not sure what's going to happen next, since they sent us back to the Eastern Continent, but I think they cleaned Wutai out of all of its materia, Tifa. I feel kinda bad about it - I remember reading in a book once about the colonization that took place in the Southern Continent a few hundred years ago, and this feels a lot like that. Maybe I'm overanalyzing it, what do you think? Damn, I really wish you were here, or that I could at least call you. It was always so easy for me to talk to you about shit like this. Here, nobody really seems to care.

You started your second semester at the Academy already, right? How are things going? Have you been able to perform at all? I really wish I could see you play again, Tifa. I miss it so much. If you ever have any performances in the city, please let me know. I'll do whatever I can to take a leave and come see you play.

I spoke to my mom a few days ago. She's doing okay. She says the village has been pretty quiet since most of the kids went away to college or the army. Doesn't seem like a lot of folks decided to stick around. Have you been back to Nibelheim at all yet since you left? I know I probably shouldn't ask this, but how is your dad?

Anyway, the real reason I wrote is that today is Valentine's Day, and I didn't want to miss it. I know we're not together anymore, but I wanted you to feel special. I can't send you real flowers, so I took a picture of some lilies I saw growing in Lower Junon, near the ocean. I attached it to this email. I hope you like them and I hope no other guy is giving you gifts today. Sorry Tifa, but you'll always be mine.

Please write me back, Tifa. Oh, and I finally got a PHS. The number is 555-7717. You can call me whenever you want, or text me, if you prefer that.

I still love you.

Love,

Cloud

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.

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[ μ ] - εγλ - 3/23/98

02:15:01 PM

From: Cloud Strife 1980

To: Tifa Lockhart beatrushbeauty81

Subject: It's me again

Dear Tifa,

It's been a few weeks. I hope you're doing okay. It really drives me crazy that you haven't written me back, but I can't help myself. I miss you so much and I feel like I have so much to tell you all the time. There's so much I want to talk to you about. You're on my mind constantly and I have no one else to talk to the way I used to talk to you.

Well, I do have some good news. I'm on track to make it into the SOLDIER ranks. According to Lazard, the Director of SOLDIER, I'm on the recruitment list for this summer. He even assigned a mentor to me, a SOLDIER Second Class named Zack. We get along really well. He's a funny guy, real popular around base, but a nice guy. We train and work out together, and he gives me lots of tips. He told me if I listen to him, I'll be in SOLDIER in no time. He even introduced me to his girlfriend, Aerith. She's a little annoying but she's a nice person, I guess. She and Zack are perfect for each other. I think you'd really like her, Tifa. Maybe one day when I come back to Midgar, we can go on a double date together. Zack and Aerith seem like the type of couple that would love to do shit like that.

If only you would write me back, Tifa.

I'm not going to give up on you, Tifa. I know you're avoiding me because you don't want to cause any more problems with your father. I understand. I just… wish it was different. You don't have to be scared anymore, Tifa. We are both not in Nibelheim anymore.

I hope things are going well for you in the city. Have you made any new friends? I hope whoever they are, that they are good to you. You deserve the best.

Please write me back. Or call. Or text.

I'm going crazy.

I love you.

Love,

Cloud

.

.

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[ μ ] - εγλ - 5/3/98

07:01:54 PM

From: Cloud Strife 1980

To: Tifa Lockhart beatrushbeauty81

Subject: Happy Birthday

Dear Tifa,

Happy Birthday!

You didn't think I'd forget, did you? I could never forget. You're nineteen now, can you believe it? I remember when I first met you, you were just a baby. I'm kidding.

What are you doing for your birthday? I hope you're celebrating and having a good time. Maybe your college friends are throwing you a party? I hope you get some cool gifts. I promise when I get back to Midgar I'm going to have a gift for you. Just promise me that you're staying safe, okay? I worry about you being alone in that city all the time.

Speaking of Midgar, I'll be re-stationed there this summer. It's official Tifa - I'm going to be in SOLDIER. I join their ranks officially in June. I've been working with Zack for the last few months and I'm in the best shape of my life. I wish you could see me now, I think you'd be really impressed with my muscles. If I gave you a hug, it would probably hurt. ;)

I'm a little nervous about the mako treatments, though. Zack told me he was in the infirmary for a week after his treatments. And he's way bigger and stronger than me, Tifa. You know how much I hate being sick. Send me some positive vibes, would you?

My mom isn't crazy about me joining SOLDIER but I can tell she's still proud of me. She can't help but worry a lot, that's just the way she is. She doesn't like that I'm in the military but I keep telling her, now that the war is over, she really shouldn't be so concerned. Most of my work is boring as hell, Tifa. Who would have thought that a fifty-foot cannon like the Sister Ray needed a constant patrol duty?

I hope you're enjoying your birthday and not working too hard on school stuff. I know how much pressure you put on yourself all the time. Just try to take it easy, okay? You deserve a break sometimes, Tifa.

I can't stop thinking about you. I think about you all the time. Tifa, please write me back. Please tell me what I can do to fix this. I'll give anything to have your love again. You mean everything to me and I can't accept what happened.

Call me. Text. I miss you.

I love you so much.

Love,

Cloud

.

.

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[ μ ] - εγλ - 11/4/98

01:30:12 AM

From: Cloud Strife 1980

To: Tifa Lockhart beatrushbeauty81

Subject: I miss you

Dear Tifa,

Sorry it's been so long since I wrote to you. Since I started the SOLDIER program, it's been nonstop for me. I've been back in Midgar since July, but I don't think I've had more than five minutes to myself since. I was sick for weeks after the mako baths, Tifa, they were horrible. I don't know how to describe it, but it felt like I was losing my mind while being seasick at the same time. It was almost like a panic attack - I couldn't control the way my body reacted to anything. They had to keep me sedated for days. I really thought I was gonna die.

And the training for SOLDIER is grueling, Tifa. We train for ten, sometimes twelve hours straight, and then there's no time to do anything but eat and sleep. Even as I write this it's the middle of the night, and I can barely keep my eyes open. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, not since my last letter and not since I saw you last that night when you broke up with me. Tifa, I'm begging you. I know it's been a year but I really want us to talk about this.

I miss you so much. I miss everything about you and about us. I miss holding you and going to the movies with you, I miss our nights at Willie's and when we would dance together. I miss driving you around town late at night and I miss eating ice cream and gravy fries at the Red Ribbon. I miss sitting on the water tower and watching the stars, I miss kissing you and snuggling with you under the covers in your room.

I miss listening to you play the piano. I realize now that it used to keep me sane, back then. Not being able to listen to you play anymore makes me feel anxious, like something is missing.

What's missing is you.

Tifa, I know I said this before, but I'll do anything to make things right. I know that we belong together and your father can't stop what is meant to be. Nobody in that shitty town can. All we need is each other.

I was thinking about taking leave and coming to visit you at your university, but I don't want to alarm you. Please, Tifa, write me back and tell me that you'll at least talk to me. All I need is one conversation.

I miss you so much. I want to make love to you again so bad. It's all I can think about sometimes.

I miss you. Please, Tifa, don't make me beg. Call me, text me, write me back. Anything.

I need to know you're okay.

I love you.

Forever.

Love,

Cloud

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.

.

"Mail Delivery System" Mailer-Daemon

Date: Fri, 14 Nov 1998 04:44:24 -0600

To: 1980

Subject: failure notice

This message was created automatically by mail delivery software.

A message that you sent has not yet been delivered to one or more of its

recipients after more than 24 hours on the queue on .com.

The message identifier is: 1JYIJ1-0008Ew-JK

The date of the message is: 14 Nov 1998 01:30:12 +010

The subject of the message is: I miss you

This message was created automatically by mail delivery software. Eight (8) message(s) that you sent could not be delivered to one or more of its recipients. This is a permanent error. The following address(es) failed: beatrushbeauty

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