Chapter 17: Barbara Streisand Videos
Narrator: Now I am going to Canada too see how the others are doing.
It is in the afternoon and they are inside of the van. Celeborn is in the back of the van watching Barbra Streisand videos. He is eating popcorn.
Denathor walked by to look for bath beads but he stopped in his tracks when he saw Celeborn movies he stopped. " Why are you watching Barbara Streisand movies?'' Denathor asked incredulously.
"Oh these are great,'' Celeborn said with his eyes fixed on the screen.
"You are gay. Just admit it gay guys watch these movies."
"No they don't,'' Celeborn protested. "Everyone loves them and cherishes them from the heart.''
"Oh please.'' Denathor gave Celeborn a side-glance.
"No silly it goes like this.'' Celeborn explained everything to Denathor.
Two hours later Denathor understood everything, and he and Celeborn were watching the movies.
A minute later Gollum wandered in. " Ooh funny girl she is, but not as funny as wizard."
He joined Celeborn and Denathor on the couch.
Suddenly, Saruman barged in. He was filled with rage. "Dammit Gollum stop stealing my boxers you bastard!''
"See what we mean?'' Gollum laughed. "Wizard is so funny.''
Saruman shut his mouth tightly, But once he saw Barbara Streisand in "Hello Dolly!''
He went off the wall. "Why the hell are you watching this?''
Gollum got up and explained everything to Saruman. "It is so clear now!'' Saruman exclaimed. "Move over!'' Saruman joined them on the couch.
"Gollum get your hand off my ass!'' So they continued to watch. "Hello Dolly!'' They heard on the screen.
Suddenly, Gimli walked in. "Alright now who is eating the ham is fridge?''
Everyone ignored him.
Gimli eyes made it to the T.V screen "Barbara Streisand!''
"Oh dwarf it isn't bad, Let me tell you!'' Saruman said.
Two hours later Gimli understood everything that Saruman explained to him.
Gimli sat on the floor watching it. They heard "Hello Dolly!'' again.
"How long is this movie?'' Gimli asked while checking the box.
Sam sauntered in. " Barbra Streisand!'' " Why?''
Gimli explained everything to Sam. Sam scurried along and joined Gimli on the floor.
A couple hours later, Sam started to get a funny feeling that something was terribly wrong. He thought and thought, but he had no idea what was amiss. Everything was totally normal; it was just he and the others watching a movie.
All of a sudden, it came to him. Sam's mouth went dry, and beads of sweat began forming on his brow. He tried to speak, but his throat seized up. He tried again, and got one word to form.
"Guys?" he asked, barely able to speak from the fear. He could have sworn he heard creepy music playing.
"Yeah, Sam?" Gimli asked.
"I just have a quick question," Sam murmured, beginning to tremble.
"Get on with it, hobbit," Denathor said exasperated.
"It's just that," Sam mumbled, looking like he was about to pass out. The creepy music grew louder. "If we're all in here, whose driving?"
There was complete silence as the others' looks of puzzlement turned to comprehension and fear.
The van started to spin around. Then it skidded. "What is happening?" Sam asked, getting frightened.
Suddenly, the van reached the cliff and went off. Down it went. It was very windy outside and everything was falling Barbra Streisand videos were flying off the window. " Nooo!'' Celeborn cried in despair. Now, the van was falling even faster. Celeborn opened the door and caught the videos.
"Get in here stupid!'' Denathor shouted. He grabbed him and pulled him inside. The door came to a close.
But, the wind was growing more powerful. The door opened and Gollum was carried away. "Wizard help us!'' He cried as he was being tossed.
Saruman was now alert. He ran in slow motion while The Saruman Inside was playing.
"Saruman, anytime now!'' Sam yelled at him.
Saruman walked forward and grabbed Gollum and pulled him in.
"Wizard you love us!'' Gollum said with joy.
Saruman was shocked. Do I love Gollum he thought? But, he had images of himself and Gollum watching the sunset. He shook out of it. " I think I do,'' he said to himself.
The car was now falling faster and it hit the ground.
Back In Las Vegas, Ganadalf was taking a shower. While he was doing that the windows were open and a bunch of old ladies were standing by the window.
"Oh look it's Gandalf!''
" He is the sexiest man alive!''
"Please drop the soap!''
Gandalf heard their voices and panicked. He put on his towel and got out. He shut the blinds to the window but they snapped.
Next, he nailed blankets and wood on to the window. But that didn't work either. He eventually figured that they left by now and he went back in.
Boy he was wrong. The ladies were still there. "Help!'' Gandalf screamed.
He ran out again with a bathrobe on. Aragorn and the others rushed in.
" What is wrong?'' Aragorn wondered.
"I was showering and a bunch of old ladies were watching me. I tried nailing stuff to the window but it didn't work.''
Aragorn didn't know what to say but he ran into the bathroom and did his business.
He also peeked out the window but no one was there.
"See their are old ladies standing their aren't their?'' Gandalf panicked when Aragorn came back.
"Gandalf I did not see any old ladies relax.'' Aragorn tried to calm him down.
But it took five minutes for Gandalf to calm him down. By then, everyone left and Gandalf went into the shower.
Author: Oh Poor Gandalf!
Narrator: Oh yeah! Now it is your entire fault.
Author: I beg your pardon?
Narrator: I have bad images in my head of Gandalf in the shower. Shutters Thanks to you!
Author: Oh you're welcome! Well that is it. Come on people review it isn't hard to do.
Now thank you and goodnight!