Author: Hi guys welcome back! I am sorry I disappeared. Life has been busy lately. Well I'm back and I'm sure everyone missed me. Narrator and I are back and black. Well we aren't black but still. Here is the Narrator. She wants to say hello.
Narrator: Hi guys! It's nice to see you all again. Let's find out how everyone is doing.
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The LOTR characters meandered through a meadow hoping that they would reach their final destination. They also wanted to find food and lodging as well. Life really sucked right now since they landed in a ditch and in the middle of nowhere. All of their belongings were lost somewhere. Life was just bad in general. Well maybe not for some people, like Saruman and Gollum
" Oh Gollum, I love you so much!'' Saruman glowed.
" Really precioussssssssssssssssss?''
" Uh huh.''
" Well that's what you were saying last night as well.''
" I know,'' Saruman smiled. " I'm glad I did.''
Meanwhile, Sam and the others followed behind Saruman and Gollum. They found Saruman and Gollum amusing.
" Why is Saruman so happy?'' Sam asked.
" Maybe he and Gollum are going steady.'' Celeborn thought.
" I don't think they are going to last.'' Denathor answered.
" This conversation is so disgusting that we shouldn't be talking about this.''
Gimli answered.
" But Gimli, don't you want to know?'' Celeborn asked curiously.
" Honestly no.''
" You suck.''
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" Wow, today we had the most customers since the salon opened.'' Legolas exclaimed to the others.
" Yeah I know.'' Haldir smiled.
" This is the best thing I ever done.''
" Hell yeah!''
Legolas was happy indeed. The salon was prospering. Legolas could not help but keep on smiling. Even Haldir actually started to enjoy being a shampoo girl. It was fun for him. Haldir was more popular than Arwen and Eowyn.
" I wish I could scrub all day long. La La! I will sing this song.'' Haldir sang as he shampooed a customer.
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Aragorn need some footage because he sold a lot of videos. This was the perfect time of day to do it because Gandalf happened to be taking a shower. Aragorn once again put his ranger skills into good use and set up the pulley. Once the pulley was set up, he attached himself to it and ordered some random guy to pull him up. Aragorn started to sing the Mission Impossible Theme song until some guy yelled at him to shut up. A few seconds later, he reached Gandalf's window. Gandalf was scrubbing away. Aragorn began to start filming until Gandalf noticed Aragorn.
" Aragorn what are you doing here?'' Gandalf cried.
" Ummmm,'' Aragorn hesitated. " Science project?''
" Shut up!''
" Alright, I was filming you for the money. You've always wanted to be a star. This is your chance. It's like Paris Hilton and her sex tape except it's you.''
At first Gandalf was angry, but then he began to consider the benefits. He would definitely be popular.
" Yes Gandalf you are a star!''
" I definitely am the star!''
"Yes, now let's go outside and meet some women.''
Gandalf left the shower to get dressed. Five minutes later he ran outside and saw some old ladies walking around. " Hey ladies!'' Gandalf said.
One lady looked at Gandalf and said: " Oh hello Gandalf.''
The lady went back to chatting with her friends.
Gandalf saw a figure that the ladies were talking to. He wondered why no one liked him anymore. He thought that everyone loved him. Who could this guy be? Gandalf recognized the figure. The figure was someone he didn't like very much. " You!''
The figure turned to face Gandalf and replied in a snotty tone. " Oh hello Gandalf.''
" Albus Dumbledore!'' Gandalf spat his name.
Dumbledore was pimpin for sure. He had a pimp suit, a hat, pimp stick and had ladies underneath his arms constantly laughing at Gandalf.
" You know,'' Dumbledore spoke to Aragorn. " I saw your video stand the other day. I watched some of the footage. You are a wonderful photographer. I liked the footage but I didn't like the subject.''
" Do you want to start something?'' Gandalf replied angrily.
" I believe something has already been started.'' Dumbledore replied acidly. The ladies laughed like a bunch of bumbling idiots.
" Now I think you should come and work for me. You could be my agent and I would be a good client. Better than Gandalf. How about it?''
Aragorn hesitated for bit. Working for Dumbledore would be awesome but he wouldn't want to offend Gandalf. But he couldn't turn down someone like Dumbledore.
" Sure!''
" Well that's settled then. Come on ladies.'' Dumbledore told the ladies and they walked away.
" How could you betray me like this?'' Gandalf rounded on Aragorn.
" Gandalf, Dumbledore is a good specimen. Then we could exploit him.''
" Like you wanted to exploit me?''
" Yes.''
" Well, I thought I was famous not Dumbledore.''
" Of course you are.''
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A few hours went by and the salon was still prospering. Legolas and Galadriel were cutting hair, the shampoo girls and Haldir were washing away, Elladan and Elrohir were cleaning, and Elrond was a very good receptionist. Elrond sat in his desk reading Vogue and accepting calls.
A random bald guy walked into the salon wearing a purple shirt and black pants. He was in the salon a few hours ago and Legolas shaved his head off. He walked over to the desk and rang for Elrond.
" Hello, how may I help you?''
" I need to speak to Legolas. Is he available?''
" Not at the moment but just wait here hon.''
Elrond went over to Legolas who was cutting someone's hair was having a hard time.
" What do you want Elrond?'' Legolas snapped.
" Some bald guy wants to see you.''
" Well I'm kind of busy at the moment. Just tell him to sit in the waiting area.''
" It might be urgent.''
" Alright fine.'' Legolas put down the scissors and told his customer he will be back in a moment.
" What could be so urgent?''
" I don't know.''
Legolas and Elrond walked back to the desk where the bald guy was still waiting. Legolas stopped and looked at the bald guy. He recognized him as the man whose hair he had accidentally shaved. He was afraid that the man was going to complain and bitch and wine.
" Look, It's not bad. Don't get mad get glad.''
" Oh don't worry,'' the guy chuckled. " I want to thank you. See now I am on a TV show thanks to you shaving my head. Now I'm famous!'' The bald guy drew out a check from his pocket. He handed it to Legolas whose eyes went to the back to his head. The bald guy left Legolas staring at the check in awe. The check was for two hundred thousand dollars. That's what they needed for the ring, it was signed by Michael Rosenbaum.
" Holy crap! That's a shit load of money!'' Legolas yelled.
" Let me see it!'' Elrond jumped up and down.
Legolas handed the check to Elrond. Elrond examined the check thoroughly.
" Holy moly! Two hundred thousand dollars!''
" What's going on here?'' Elrohir and Elladan asked.
" Some guy named Michael Rosenbaum left Legolas a check for two hundred thousand dollars.''
Elrohir and Elladan had the same reaction as Legolas did. " Shit load of money!'' Elrohir yelled.
" I know.'' Elladan agreed.
" Hey guys don't leave us out.'' Haldir replied as he, Arwen, Eowyn, and Galadriel walked over.
Legolas told them about the check and they all had the same reactions.
They were definitely were going to get the ring back and be happy.
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Author: There you have it. They got the money they needed to get the ring back. Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Narrator: That's right!
Author: Well read and review and stay tuned!
Disclaimer: Fooooooooooooooooooooooooood! The Author doesn't own Lord Of The Rings. Foooooooooooood!
Author: Shut up!