Title: The Big Three
Disclaimer: House doesn't belong to me. Not at all.
A/N: I didn't have a lot to do this week, and, well, I got to thinking. Remind me not to do that in the future, because things like this happen. Anyway, please read and review.
House would like to think that his story is about the big three: sex, drugs, and rock and roll. He definitely has the drugs covered. Vicodin may not be as glamorous as some things, but hey, an addiction's an addiction, right?
The rock and roll is pretty well taken care of as well. What songs he can't play on the piano he plays at full volume on his ipod or stereo. Sometimes it's almost as cool as being an actual rock and roll star, which House probably wouldn't like anyway. Too much dancing around, and the drama is almost always way overstated. (Even though they're always whining about their lives, House knows their lives aren't very hard at all. Except for the dancing.)
The only thing missing is the sex. He talks big, to Cuddy and Cameron and Chase and Foreman, but hookers are really a bit beyond him. If he were to hire one, it would just be a waste of money. And the hooker's time. Sex with other people was awkward now, not that sex wasn't awkward for normal, non-crippled people, but really, it hurt. Badly. He supposed he could probably find a way to make it work, but it wasn't worth all the effort and embarrassment that it would take. He has good hands, and two out of three isn't that bad.