A/N: Thank you for the reviews guys, I really appreciate them.

Secrets

Chapter VI: Further Complications

Where's Hermione?

I look at the clock, exhausted and see that it's ten at night. Why hasn't she come back? She left the bathroom at like six, and probably went to look for Harry. I expected her to be back a little late, but now it's past our curfew.

I slip on my pajamas with a long yawn and get into bed. Maybe she's in the Gryffindor Tower still talking to him.

I try to come up with a reason for her lateness, but this day has been so tiring. . .

(D)R(E)(A)(M)

"Ron?" says Harry, "Do you know where Hermione is? I have a date with her and I can't find her anywhere."

I look up from my chess game and shake my head, puzzled at Harry's fancy tuxedo.

"Where'd you get the suit?" I ask.

"From the Dursleys," he says brightly, "Aren't they great?"

I frown. "But I thought they hated you?"

"Where'd you get that idea from?" he asks with a surprised laugh. "They love me!"

Oh yeah. . . Now I remember.

"Anyway, if you see Hermione, let me know where she is!"

I nod, and Harry leaves, skipping happily. I turn back to my chess game and feel someone poke me in the back of my head. I turn and see a giddy Hermione smiling at me.

"Is he gone?" she asks.

I nod.

"Good, now let's go!"

She grabs my arm in giddy fashion and takes me over to her dorm. I lay down on her bed. She sits on top of me and takes her shirt off---

(0)(0)(0)(0)(0)(0)(0)(0)(0)

"Ron!"

I groan. Someone's shaking me.

"Ron, wake up!" It's Hermione. "I need to talk to you!"

Oh no. . .was the dream real? I open my eyes groggily and am relieved to see that she's fully clothed. Kind of disappointing that is, though. She also seems a little angry. Anxious, too.

What could she possibly have to talk to me about now? Didn't we talk enough today? I thought we weren't even supposed to be getting into intimate discussions anymore.

"What is it?" I ask with a sigh.

"Ron," she says, taking a long deep breath, "you told Harry!"

I frown, confused. "I told Harry what?"

"Just about everything he needed to know!" she cries. "You basically told him that we'd spent the summer together!"

"What? When did I do this?" Where's she getting this from?

"Today!" she exclaims. "When you were talking with him! He asked you if you thought I've been acting strangely lately and you said no! Then he asked you how I'd been behaving during the summer--"

"--and I said you were normal," I say with a groan as I realize my mistake. Shit. No wonder Harry looked so dumbfounded.

"I told him that you must have been talking about how I sounded in my letters," she continues, in a huffy voice. "He didn't believe me, Ron! He just kept nodding and giving me that look that just says he knows I'm hiding something!"

Her voice got higher and higher with every word she just said. She looks like she's about to cry, and I immediately feel responsible. This is twice in one day I make her get teary. I put a hand on her shoulder, and she brushes it off, as if stung.

"Don't touch me!" she snaps. "We're in a bad enough dilemma as it is!"

Ouch. That hurt.

"I'm sorry," I mutter. "I was just trying to make you feel better."

She takes deep breaths and stays quiet. The room is dark, but I can still see that she's in deep thought. I glance at the clock next to bed and am surprised to see that it's eleven thirty. What had she been doing all this time, and was I really asleep that long?

"Hermione where were you?" I ask.

"I was talking to Harry," she says quietly. "I can't do it, Ron."

"Do what?"

"Break up with him," she says tearfully. "I just can't do it."

Some sort of gloomy feeling drops into my stomach. I can't decipher what it is. It might be disappointment. Maybe it's irritation. I don't know. I can't say I'm surprised that this would happen, though.

"It's just that," she says, "now that I see he doesn't trust me, I can't bring myself to leave him for a false reason."

"So what do you suppose the solution is?" I ask. I'm almost hoping she says that we should just confess. I'm sick of this. I just want everything to go back to the way it always was. I want us all to be friends again. I feel like I've already lost Harry, and Hermione I lose a little more of everyday.

"I don't know. . ." she says miserably.

I examine her profile. She looks depressed. There are dark bags under her eyes, and the expression within them is not that of the Hermione I've always known. I don't see the logical light in them anymore, and a Hermione without logic is a Hermione without sanity. That's not even a Hermione, really.

I take a deep breath.

"Hermione, I think we should just tell him," I say. She looks at me sharply, but I continue before she can stop me, "I'm starting to get worn out, and it's only November third tomorrow. I don't think I can take a whole year of this, and frankly, you're in a worse condition than I am. The guilt is starting to bury you. You're not you anymore. You're like a scared little kid telling all the fibs it needs to tell to hide a secret. I'm not myself, either. I can't even look Harry in the face anymore. If you and me keep up with this he'll never forgive us."

There are desperate tears gliding down her cheeks. I ignore her previous wishes and put an arm around her. She puts her face in her hands and starts to weep.

"We can't hide it forever, 'Mione," I say gently. "If we keep telling more lies we'll only make it worse."

"Why can't we?" she asks, her voice muffled in her hands.

"Why can't we hide it?"

She nods, clarifying my question.

"Because," I say, with a wry chuckle, "Harry's not dumb, is he? He knew something was out of place the moment he saw you! We didn't even have a chance to mess up right then, and he already knew something was wrong."

She takes her face out of her hands and stares ahead into the darkness. She's stubborn to take this in.

"Besides, you and me are too loyal to keep this going," I finish.

She snorts. "You think we're loyal? I think the exact opposite."

I nod. "Okay, so right now we're bastards, I won't deny it," I say shrewdly, "but the point is, we regret it. The point is, you did it with Harry's best intentions at heart, and I did it because you needed me. That's it. And we're suffering, aren't we? We're going through hell just so that we won't lose Harry. I can't even lie properly to him. I already let something slip! I'm not used to hiding things from him. It doesn't feel as though I belong putting myself on top-alert mode with Harry. I don't feel right having to analyze everything he says. It doesn't seem right to me."

I look at Hermione to see her twiddling her fingers in her hands. She's biting her lip in a guilty fashion.

"So you're not even scared?" she asks with a whimper.

I sigh. "Of course I'm scared!" I say. "Harry could very well never talk to me again! I'd lose the first friend I ever made! He's my best mate and I betrayed him like an enemy! It scares the hell out of me. But he will find out, Hermione, and if he finds out the wrong way, there'll be absolutely no possibility of him ever forgiving either of us. If we tell him, at least he'll know we have the guts to go to him ourselves. He'll know we really do regret it."

She looks at me, slightly angry. "I thought you said you didn't regret it."

"I don't!" I say quickly. "Well, I do--but. . ."

"So you lied to me," she says sounding hurt and angry. "On top of the fact that you never told me you were a virgin and let me ramble on about the fact that I thought you were like some kind of an idiot, you have to lie about the fact that you regretted it? I don't appreciate you making me seem like a fool, Ron."

"Damn it!" I burst, making her jump. "Why does everything have to be so damn frustrating? God Hermione, I meant that I regret betraying Harry! I don't regret sleeping with you, I regret sleeping with you while you were dating Harry! If you had been single, everything would have been perfect, but you weren't! I mean, it was prefect, but see how the fact that it was cheating on your boyfriend and my best friend ruins it?"

My breathing has become really quick and short. Shit. What the hell did I just tell her? Basically that I love her. God, what the hell am I supposed to do now? I can't just openly confess it. If I do, I'll end up screwing everything I just said and kissing her.

Well, she basically told me she loved me today too. . .

"I just don't think I can do it, Ron." she says, not looking me in the eyes. "You very well know I didn't do this for Harry's best interest. If I had, I would've slept with him before he even got the chance to ask me if I was ready. The truth is, I don't want to tell him because I don't know whether I deserve to be forgiven or not, and I really, really don't want to lose Harry's friendship!"

"Are you sorry?" I ask.

"Obviously."

"Then you deserve forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes, and this was a big one, but. . .we learn, don't we? Sure, it might be harder for Harry to forgive us for this than for just about anything else. . .but I think we deserve it. Even if it's only a little." I say heavily.

"This is so hard, Ron!" she says.

I nod and squeeze her shoulder. "I know."

"No," she groans. "You don't. I complicated everything even further tonight."

Great. What other complication could possibly arise?

"It's just that," she puts her face in her hands again, "whenever I'm around him I just can't bring myself to do anything that might reveal this stupid secret."

"Yeah. . ." I say slowly.

"And today I just felt so panicky when he suspected that we'd been together in the summer that I just felt like I needed to do whatever he wanted to make him feel better. . ." her voice trails off with a groan.

My stomach lurches with dread. "Hermione, you didn't sleep with him did you?"

She raises her head and shakes it. "No," she says.

I feel relief flow through my veins.

"But I told him I'm ready," she finishes.

The dread comes back. "Hermione," I groan, "can't you see how much harder that makes things?"

"I know," she says miserably.

"Did you make plans for when?" I ask, not wanting to hear the answer.

She nods. "On Valentine's Day. He thought it'd be special that way."

I shake my head. Could this get any worse? Why do things have to get so twisted so quickly? How the hell is Hermione supposed to get out of this one?

"So what're you planning to do about it?" I ask, tired. I reach over to my bedside table and light a candle.

"I don't know," she says tearfully.

"You're not planning to go through with it, are you?" I ask. "Because if you think deceiving him is hard now, imagine how hard trying to act normal will be if you sleep with him. Not to mention, pretending to enjoy it while you actually do it."

"Of course I'm not planning to go through with," she replies, irritated. "That'd be cruel. Crueler than I'm being now, anyway."

"Have you got any ideas?"

She thinks for a few moments. "I think it'd be best if he decided to leave me."

"That's going to be mighty hard, isn't it?" I ask. "Considering he probably feels closer to you than ever now that you're planning to sleep with him."

She nods, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. "Jeez Ron, when did I become so stupid?"

(M)(i)(d)-(N)(o)(v)(e)(m)(b)(e)R

The two weeks after Hermione and I had our conversation in the dark dormitory seemed never-ending. Harry and I talked about my little slip, and I told him that yes, I had seen Hermione during the summer but only for one day in Diagon Alley. I don't think he believed it. To tell the truth, I didn't try too hard to fool him. I'm sick of lying, and he seemed to see right through me anyway. He looked hurt.

Thankfully though, we had a lot to keep us busy. We were all slightly behind in our schoolwork and spent several afternoons in the library catching up. Hermione had started to make a schedule of time she would have to set apart to be able to make another schedule of what we needed to study for N.E.W.Ts and when. Harry and I had Quidditch practice and our first game of the season. Well, our practice paid off because we won.

That's where we are now; the Gryffindor common room celebrating our victory against Ravenclaw. The score had been 240:180. Our Chasers had been incredible. They scored twenty-four times. The Ravenclaw Seeker had been, thank goodness, not all that smart and caught the Snitch when his team only had thirty points.

For the first time since school started I feel happy. Really happy. All these people and all this music and food makes me feel so damn alive. For once this year, I feel like myself again. I'm down-to-earth, I'm loud, I'm silly. I'm not thinking all the time about all these depressing things.

Blimey, even when Voldemort was powerful I wasn't this distraught. It's crazy what love can do to a guy.

"Hey, Ron!" I turn away from the snack table and face Ginny.

"What's up?" I say, unable to keep the happy grin off my face.

"How've you been this year?" she asks. "I've hardly seen you at all. Hermione too. What've you guys been up to all year?"

Being tortured.

I shrug. "Just been busy, I guess."

"But you don't even talk to me during practice," she says, pressing the subject. "I know I'm your sister and everything, but you and me have always been friends. I don't really wanna drift apart."

I feel a pang of guilt. It's true. The only full day that I've spent with Ginny this year was Halloween. Harry and Hermione were there too, so it wasn't like I paid a lot of exclusive attention to her then either.

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind." I say.

"Let me guess; it involves Hermione, doesn't it?" she says in a dull voice.

My eyes widen. "What would give you that idea?"

"Well," she says, "I've been spending a lot of time with Harry lately and he says that you guys have been acting really weird lately. He says he gets the feeling you guys lied about where you spent your summers, and he really wishes he knew why. Why did you lie? What were you guys up to?"

Suddenly I feel very hot. Dread starts to travel through my body, except this time it feels a million times worse. Does this shit have to follow me everywhere I go?

"You didn't tell him that I visited her, did you?" I ask, ignoring her question.

She shakes her head. "No. I knew I should keep my mouth shut if you told me to lie for you. What are you guys hiding from Harry? I was pretty shocked myself when I heard you wouldn't be spending the first Voldemort-free summer together."

I sigh. I want to tell someone, but I can't just tell Ginny what I did without Hermione agreeing.

"It's private," I mutter.

"Well, I figure that," she says in an obvious tone, "but what could be so private that you need to hide it from Harry?"

"It's complicated," I say.

"No it's not," she retorts quickly. "There are only a few probabilities as to what this whole business is about, and only one really makes sense. I'm just going to tell you right now though, Ronald Weasley; if you and Hermione did what I think you did don't count on me to cover up anymore of your lies. Doing something like that is wrong and deceitful and I don't want to have anything to do with it. So if you don't tell me right now a real good reason for your fishy behavior, then I'm just going to tell Harry exactly what I suspect and I'll let him know where you really were last summer."

Stupid. Little. Bitch. Can't she ever mind her own damn business?

"What're you going on about?" I demand, as if I had no idea.

She rolls her eyes. "Oh, come on Ron!" she exclaims. "It's really not that hard to figure out. I mean, you're in love with Hermione--"

"I am not--"

"--she's in a relationship with a guy she thinks of as her brother, you decide to exclude Harry out of your vacation plans and refuse to tell anyone else what you're up to, you've both been acting fidgety, and Hermione can't seem to be able to move on with her and Harry's relationship." she says this all with a satisfied tone, and finishes by raising an eyebrow at me.

"So what're you suggesting?" I demand, annoyed.

"That she cheated on Harry with you!" she says impatiently.

"Ginny, get the hell out of my business," I say aggressively. "You really have no idea what Hermione and I were doing over the summer and it doesn't concern you. So stay the hell out of it--"

"I'm not going to watch you destroy Harry with your betraying ways--"

"No, actually," I interrupt, "You're not gonna open you're Goddamned big, nosey mouth to instigate shit you're not even involved in. I know it must hurt that you're not included in everyone's drama, and I know since you think you're Miss Personality you can act as tough as you please and rule over everyone, but I can assure you Ginny, you're not about to tell me what I have to tell you or to anyone else. So shut. The fuck. Up."

I walk away from her, furious. I don't need this! And there I was, thinking she actually wanted to talk about something pleasant and catch up. Who the hell does she think she is?

I'll be glad when all these complication stop coming down like raindrops during a storm.