Chapter 30
Blanket disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Ninja Gaiden or DOA
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
A note to my anonymous reviewer DBlade59: I would have preferred to just send you a PM to keep it private but that's not possible since you apparently have no account. Anyway, I do appreciate your input but I see the Rinnegan and the Tenseigan as total overkill in the modern era. Most of their foes don't stand a chance against chakra users alone so god like doujutsus would totally imbalance the story. (Imagine the entire DOA Tournament ending in one Shinra Tensei-in the first round) I'm not completely ruling out power ups in the future but I simply don't think they would add depth to this story as it stands. Thanks anyway.
Now it's time for the triumphant return of our favorite hero, Officer Kimura! Here is chapter 30:
Last time:
"Was that Detective Arii Naruto-kun?" At Naruto's nod Hinata asked, "What did she need?"
"She just was making sure we were all right Hinata-chan." answered the blonde.
Hinata kissed him and said, "Anything else?"
Naruto yawned as he cuddled closer to Hinata. "She's going to call us tomorrow morning and stop in for our report. Maybe there will be some clues on Akiyama." He yawned again and kissed her softly. "Let's go to sleep Hinata-hime. The adrenaline rush is gone and I'm tired."
"Good night Naruto-kun." the indigo haired beauty said as she snuggled into his embrace.
"Good night Hinata-hime." said Naruto as he drifted off in her warmth.
Uzumaki Safe House, Tokyo
Naruto woke up to the less than pleasant sound of his phone ringing first thing in the morning. On the positive side he opened his eyes to the tantalizing view of Hinata's breasts hovering over him as she reached over him to grab the phone. His arousal was dampened by the tone in his Hinata-chan's voice as she talked on the phone though ….
"Yes, we are awake…." Hinata basically groaned. "You can be here in thirty minutes? Give us an hour Detective Arii; we're putting on fresh bandages and need showers….Is anyone going to be with you and Otaki? ….Those two guards of yours huh….? Alright; I'll see you at 9 A.M. Detective; goodbye." Hinata sat up as she turned off the phone and the covers slid off of her giving Naruto a really nice view. She could feel his growing morning arousal but said dourly; "We don't have time for a quickie Naruto-kun. Detective Arii, Inspector Otaki and her two guards will be over within an hour."
Naruto growled and said, "I'll wake Kasumi-chan and Ayane-chan up. Let's get you all healed the rest of the way and freshened up."
Within a half an hour Naruto and his three wives were up and showered. Naruto had recharged both Ayane and Kasumi's chakra seals and Hinata was taking care of the minor cuts and bruises the girls had using the mystic palm technique. None of them were too happy when Detective Arii and the others showed up ten minutes early. The Uzumakis hadn't even eaten yet (actually they barely had time to get dressed and threw on what they had handy).
The Uzumaki Clan all piled into the front room. Ayane had a black t-shit with a skull and crossbones motif on it and white short shorts and Kasumi had on her blue Uzumaki kimono with her hair up in a pony tail. Hinata had her hair down and was wearing a white button up blouse with a navy skirt and Naruto was wearing denim jeans with a red t-shirt that had the Uzumaki swirl on the back. The family generally looked like they'd just crawled out of bed….which they had.
Naruto decided to wait at the door to greet Detective Arii and company. When he opened the door he noticed they were in plainclothes. Maya looked excited to see him and smiled. Otaki looked a bit tired. As for Yamada and Kimura; Yamada looked worried and a bit skittish whereas Kimura looked like he was jumping for joy mentally. Naruto showed them in and soon Detective Arii and Inspector Otaki were sitting at the low table and their two guards were standing behind them. The Uzumakis were all sitting lazily on the opposite side of the table with Naruto at the front.
Otaki said, "Well, you guys outdid yourselves last night. Other than the 18th floor of the Sugita building looking like a terrorist bombed it there were no bodies or anything. Thank you for making my life easier."
"We ran into nothing but fiends Inspector Otaki." said Hinata. "When they die they evaporate into mystic ash. If they left bodies behind you would have thirty dismembered fiend corpses and Fujimoto's corpulent body to scrape up."
"Lovely…." replied Otaki with a cringe.
"Look at the bright side Inspector." said Ayane. At least they don't leave behind remains that the media would have a frenzy about."
"Alright." said Maya. "We saw the hole in the roof and interviewed the security guards. They were completely cluelss and we seized all the camera data so you should be covered if you were spotted by the security equipment. From what the Head of the Sugita Security Team told us no alarms were even set off before they arrived on the roof. Did you even go lower than the 18th loor? It would save our people a lot of time if you didn't…."
Kimura was beside himself with joy at the beautiful view as his superiors talked. He mentally giggled perversely, 'I can't believe it! My Tsundere goddess Ayane has a cute skull motif over her amazing bosom and short shorts. It doesn't look like she's wearing a bra under it either (giggle). My Yamato nadeshiko hime Kasumi has an incredibly sexy, disheveled look this morning and in spite of her pure beauty all her voluptuous curves are right there. Hinata-san looks even more beautiful than I fantasized. In spite of her proper business attire that makes her look upper class you just know she's wearing black, lacey lingerie under it. What an incredible body! (Giggle, giggle) Actually, Detective Arii looks hot too but somehow I picture her being a dominatrix type that's into leather in the bedroom. It's every young man's dream of a harem! Now all I need to complete the set is a beautiful shrine maiden and a sexy, aggressive tease to complete my set of fantasy mates!'
You could suddenly hear a pin drop in the room. Kimura abruptly noticed the air was getting very heavy and started sweating as his partner Yamada mechanically turned his head to face him with eyes full of utter horror and complete shock. Otaki was doing the same and said weakly, "What are you saying boy?!"
Kimura saw all four women in the room glaring daggers at him with a loathing that was too hateful to describe in mere words. If looks could kill he would have spontaneously combusted in an instant. "Ummm….Was I thinking out loud?" asked Kimura chuckling weakly as he scratched his head.
That's when four kunai launched out of nowhere, catapulted him back and pinned him to the wall by his clothes. As he slammed into the wall the killing intent coming from the kunoichis (and Maya) was unbelievable but when Naruto appeared in front of him with in a body flicker with slitted, red eyes the killing intent was so crushing that Kimura never stood a chance. "How dare you speak of my wives and Maya that way you little sicko!" growled Naruto in a voice that would have made the Shinigami proud. Otaki was sweating a river as he quivered and Yamada was completely frozen in fear. "What do you have to say for yourself you filthy perverted bastard?!" asked Naruto angrily. As the Uzumaki Clan head continued his tirade his wives were too angry at Kimura to intervene and Maya was both frightened and excited at the intoxicating power rolling off of Naruto.
It was at this point that Kimura lost control of his bowels in a rather spectacular fashion and then his eyes rolled back in his head. The pervert then fainted dead away in a state of unconsciousness.
Seeing Kimura was out like a light Naruto stopped channeling Kurama's chakra and blocked out his own thoughts and Kurama's angry voice to slay Kimura violently on the spot for insulting his vixens. Naruto said icily, "Otaki….get this bastard out before I murder him." as he removed the four kunai from the wall that had torn Kimura's clothes and missed him by mere millimeters.
Inspector Otaki rapidly hopped up and slapped the frozen Yamada on the shoulder. "Look alive Yamada!" he said authoritatively as a frightened man could. "Help me haul this piece of shit out to the van. I don't care who he's related to; his life as a police officer is over." Yamada fearfully sprang to attention and Otaki asked, "Dectective Arii, would you mind opening the door for us?"
"I'll open the door inspector." said Naruto in a terrifying voice that would brook no opposition. "I need to talk to you about this smelly piece of garbage outside anyway…."
Otaki gulped fearfully and nodded. Yamada quickly grabbed Kimura's ankles and Otaki grabbed his shoulders as Naruto led them and their catatonic cargo out.
The girls soon heard the door close as the men went outside. All four women felt the tension leaving their bodies and Maya quietly asked, "Did Naruto-kun say you were his wives as in plural of wife?"
There was a pregnant pause in the air before Hinata sighed. "Yes he did Maya. Naruto-kun is the last of his clan and as a result took several wives for both political alliances and to help repopulate the Uzumaki Clan eventually. It falls under some of the oldest of ninja laws in existence and we'd like to keep it classified because modern society doesn't permit it."
"How many wives does he have?" asked Maya in shock.
"Naruto-kun has five wives." said Kasumi. "It's us three, Momiji-chan and Aoi-chan that you've already met. Technically Hinata-chan is his head wife and legal wife and we are concubines but he treats us all equally as his wives so we are very happy."
Maya looked confused. "But, how can he keep all of you happy? I mean; every woman has needs…."
Ayane got a dreamy smile. "Oh, Naruto-kun takes care of our every need and treats us like goddesses. He's very special and keeps us all very happy." She giggled slightly and blushed.
"But how?" asked Maya trying to wrap her head around the concept.
"Naruto-kun can make shadow clones." explained Hinata. "They are exact duplicates of him in every way so each of us has as many duplicates of Naruto-kun around as we want every night and day. Well, I guess there is a difference; a shadow clone can't get you pregnant." Hinata too had a pleased smile on her face.
"I remember them now!" said Maya. "Two of them helped rescue me. It was amazing."
"Yes it is." agreed Kasumi.
Outside….
"Otaki, I doubt I have to tell you this but if I see this little shit Kimura again he will vanish forever and they'll never find the body." said Naruto. "I think we should move to a new safe house given he knows our location."
Otaki face palmed. At least Naruto's killing intent faded to the point he didn't feel like he was going to die…. "I'm forced to agree with your logic Uzumaki. We'll make arrangements to move you by tonight in case Kimura is stupid enough to squeal. He's sworn to secrecy but I don't trust him given what he pulled today."
Yamada came out of the unmarked van and said skittishly, "Kimura is cuffed on both his wrists and ankles and gagged. Given the smell I'd advise we take him to the station as soon as possible and have the van hosed out. I don't know all the laws regarding this but there are at least four counts of sexual harassment and one of them is against a superior officer."
"Take him back to the station in the van Yamada. Detective Arii and I will take my car. Have Kimura confined to the medical ward until further notice." said Inspector Otaki handing Yamada a note with his orders. "After that take the rest of the day off and have a few drinks to calm down. God knows I need a few."
Yamada saluted and said, "Yes sir!" before he left in a hurry. He was more than happy to get away from Naruto.
Otaki said tiredly, "You wanted to talk Uzumaki? We can sit in the car."
Naruto nodded and they both got in Otaki's black sedan. Naruto said, "The fact I have multiple wives is classified and I don't want it mentioned officially or unofficially. The fact any of us are married at all was a taboo subject for safety reasons but I totally lost my temper and let it slip."
"I won't say a word." said Otaki. "You ninjas live in a different society than we do so I figure it's none of my business. I'll make sure Yamada and Kimura stay quiet as well. What else did you want to talk about Uzumaki?"
"I want to know what kind of punishment Kimura is going to receive. If it's not to my satisfaction I will deal with him and you don't want that Inspector." said Naruto in an iron tone.
Otaki cringed. "Kimura's Uncle is on the Police Board of Directors and the Tokyo City Council. Officer Kimura will probably be fined and reassigned. If we're lucky he'll be dismissed without severance pay. I can't throw the book on him just with Maya and my words against someone with that kind of clout on their side. If it was someone without connections like that I'd be able to come down hard on him and probably get a stiffer sentence. I hate to say this but I'm sorry Uzumaki. It's all I can do."
"What if you had a recording of what he said?" asked Naruto.
Otaki raised his eyebrows. "If you recorded what Kimura said then he'd have no defense even with his Uncle involved. Are you saying you have a recording?"
"No; but if you have a recorder you soon will." said Naruto.
Otaki pulled out a digital recorder and said; "I've got a recorder but I can't say I follow your reasoning."
"Just turn it on and listen silently." said Naruto. Otaki turned on the recorder and nodded. The Uzumaki clan head then recited exactly what Kimura said exactly in Kimura's goofy voice and all of the inflections and perverseness associated with the pervert's voice. He then recited what Otaki's reaction had been in the Inspector's voice perfectly before he signaled to cut the recording.
Otaki turned off the recorder and replayed it with wide eyes before he turned to Naruto. "I don't mean to be rude but how in the hell did you do that?! No human being I know could achieve that. It's impossible. You could fake any evidence you want!"
"I'm a ninja." said Naruto smugly. "It's in my job description to do the impossible. We have to be able to blend in and imitate anybody at anytime, anywhere we're needed."
"That's scary as hell Uzumaki." said Otaki in a haunted tone. "I'm glad you're on our side." Naruto just chuckled.
Inside the Safe House….
"...So he has five wives and you live in a clan compound with your retainers." said Maya. "Would he consider having a sixth wife?" she asked in a little girl voice full of hope.
"You would want to be Naruto-kun's wife even knowing his situation?!" asked Kasumi in shock.
Maya said, "Naruto-kun is an amazing man. I want to know him better. When he saved my life I saw how truly powerful he is and it truly awed me. Having him in my life is something I've dreamed about ever since."
Hinata said, "Well, you seem sincere but all of us will have to seriously talk about this and Momiji-chan and Aoi-chan aren't here. Aoi-chan in particular would be hard to convince to let you join."
"What about Naruto'kun's opinion? Doesn't it matter?" asked Maya.
Ayane said, "Of course it matters! But Naruto-kun is incredibly loyal to us. He'd never even consider taking another wife if it would cause conflict with his other wives. He's simply not that way."
Kasumi said, "Maya, have you considered the lives we ninjas lead? You're an independent, career minded woman living here in the big city while we live in a small hidden village isolated from everything. I understand you have feelings for Naruto-kun but your entire lifestyle would have to change in its entirely. I can't see you having the job you have if you didn't want to do it. Do you really want to give all that up to live far from civilization?"
"You're also quite a bit older than us." interjected Ayane. "I mean; you're not old or anything but the oldest of us is seventeen and the youngest is fifteen. Naruto-kun is sixteen; aren't you twenty-six?"
"I'm still young enough to have plenty of kids!" said Maya defensively. "I mean, I think Naruto-kun would make a fine Father…."
"I didn't mean it as an insult." said Ayane. "It's just ninjas tend to marry young, live fast and die young. –And once you join a ninja village even as a civilian you are exposed to secrets that can never be revealed. If you were to abandon the village you are sworn to your life would be forfeit and you would be hunted like an animal until you die. If you marry Naruto-kun there's no going back."
"A-are you trying to frighten me off?" asked Maya.
Kasumi shook her head. "Ayane-chan is being a bit blunt but a ninja's life is extremely difficult and your children would be born into the same path we travel. It's dark and dangerous. We just want you to take these things into consideration. In the meantime all five of us sister wives will have to discuss things with Naruto-kun. Please be patient. Besides, don't you want to see if Naruto-kun and you are compatible? Everyone but Hinata-chan was married to him for political reasons though by some miracle it all worked out and we've all found happiness together. In all honesty; the only one Naruto-kun married out of pure love is Hinata-chan and they've known each other since they were children. We simply ask that you please give it some serious thought and talk to each of us…."
Maya looked a little melancholy but determined. 'This is going to be even harder than I imagined. I had no idea about Naruto-kun's situation but I still want him in my life. Somehow I think it could work. Am I crazy? What am I going to do? ' "I will think about things. Is there any way I can visit you guys in an unofficial capacity? I want to get to know you all better. I want to talk seriously with Naruto-kun."
"I don't see why not." said Hinata. "Just call us ahead of time so we can make arrangements."
….
Twenty minutes later Maya came out of the safe house and saw Naruto talking with Inspector Otaki as they leaned against the car. She walked up and said. "Inspector Otaki, I'll come back alone tomorrow and get a full report from the Uzumakis. No one is thinking straight thanks to that idiot Kimura and his unprofessional behavior." She turned to Naruto. Her gut reaction was to kiss him to express her feelings but bowed instead. "I cannot express how truly sorry I am for today. I will return tomorrow and we can speak with each other in private. Please accept my deepest apologies."
Naruto said, "You were a victim too Maya; there is no need to apologize. He was in the wrong; not you. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
As Naruto went to go back inside Maya grabbed his hand and whispered, "Naruto-kun, please talk to your wives about my request. It is truly important to me." Without another word she hurried into the car leaving a rather perplexed Uzumaki Clan head behind...
Asuka's hidden base, Tokyo
Asuka was standing there twirling a chain with a throwing knife that had four prongs in an x pattern at the base of it of it. The chain came out of her right sleeve and both glowed faintly with pink energy. Her usual sunglasses were off and her blazing red eyes were narrowed in an expression of utter contempt and disdain. She was fingering another identical knife in her left hand that also glowed faintly pink and the chain to it came out of her opposite sleeve. Contrary to the sea of blood all around her Asuka was clad in her snow white Armani business skirt/suit combo and looked like a picture of perfection without a speck of dust or blood on her. Even her long. glossy black hair was unruffled.
"You were incredibly foolish to incur my wrath this morning Akiyama. Even more foolish you lied to me." Asuka said coldly. "Your recent actions cost me both Fujimoto Noburu and a great deal of capital. Likewise it cost me the services of the Karasu Clan of ninjas who have proven quite useful to me over the past decades. They've completely vanished without a doubt fled in fear due to the fact you failed to provide the appropriate support with your troops. Given how much you've displeased me I find it difficult to come up with a reason to spare your miserable life or reconcile the fact that a self proclaimed 'greater fiend' such as yourself would writhe on his belly like a worm and beg and plead to me for mercy."
Across the room was a mangled twelve foot praying mantis like fiend lying sprawled out on the floor. Its armor was cracked and shattered. There were numerous x shaped puncture wounds and it was practically coated in scars that made it look like it had been lashed multiple time with a whip made of pure fire. If you looked closely you could see in each burn mark was a wound that matched the chains attached to the blades Asuka was so casually twirling. As blood oozed from his injuries Akiyama shrank down to his brutally battered human form which was lanky like a mantis as well. The mantis fiend no longer had the energy to maintain his full fiend form. He whimpered and started to say something but was cut off by Asuka again.
"You and Fujimoto Noburu had a fair chance against those Uzumaki Clan Ninjas Akiyama." said Asuka coldly in a voice devoid of emotion other than contempt. "Instead you abandoned him to die and then had the unmitigated gall to purloin a company helicopter –my helicopter- and then come to me with a false story that you and Fujimoto fought bravely and were defeated with Fujimoto 'bravely sacrificing his life in the line of duty.' Do you take me for a fool?! A cowardly fiend such as you has no place in Vazdah or Elizebet's ranks in my opinion. Lady Ishtaros gave me the command to assist you as needed to help in the revival of Vazdah but I'm afraid my resources to help you –like my patience at your lack of ability and results- have come to an end. Why don't you give me an actual reason to spare your pathetic and miserable being Akiyama?"
The maimed Akiyama was trembling in fear. 'This woman is far more powerful than I ever imagined. Lady Asuka is far more deadly and cruel than Lady Elizebet –The Ruler of Blood- could ever be! Lady Asuka crushed me utterly without even assuming her fiend form and now she holds my very life in her hands! I have to think of something quickly or I will surely perish. Lord Vazdah will surely see my failing and rule in her favor. I have no choice….' "Lady Asuka," he croaked. "If you spare me I will swear my undying loyalty and allegiance to you and all those of Vazdah's Army under me. Once Lord Vazdah rules over all of us I swear to you on my very soul that your will hold a place of high stature in his realm. I believe you could even eclipse Lady Elizebet with your great power. Please spare my life and let me serve you."
Asuka was enjoying a cruel chuckle mentally. Akiyama wasn't worth cost of the gunpowder to blow him up in her eyes though he was stronger than that bloated fool Fujimoto had been (not that it was saying much). 'I wanted to use his forces to do Lady Ishtaros' bidding subtly but now he's handed them over to me on a silver platter. How ironic. I'll kill him either way but why not use him for now? Lady Ishtaros wanted information on the Sage Uzumaki Naruto and now I do too for personal reasons. Sending Akiyama and his little army to test Sage Naruto would fit quite nicely into my plans.' "Very well Akiyama. I have a very simple task for you and your little army. I want you to defeat the Uzumaki Clan of Ninjas that took out Fujimoto Noburu. Bring Uzumaki Naruto before me alive as he has information I want from him. If you do this little errand I'll consider you to be my vassal."
"But what of Lord Vazdah?" asked Akiyama.
'Vazdah doesn't stand a chance against the Dragon Lineage you naïve fool.' she thought menacingly. "Lord Vazdah will see this little trial I'm putting you through as a test of your worthiness to serve him. I have no doubt that fortune will favor you in Lord Vazdah's eyes if and only if you succeed. I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to accomplish this but you previous acts of cowardice leaves me questioning your true abilities. Accomplish this task or die trying in the process Akiyama."
"I guarantee you I will succeed my Lady Asuka!" claimed the battered Akiyama.
"Tell me that after you've performed this little task." said Asuka with derision in her voice. "Be gone from my sight and don't expect any help from my people. I don't wish to hear from you again until you return with results. You are entirely on your own and will not be traced back to me. You have your own minions; see that you use them wisely."
Akiyama said, "As you command my Lady Asuka! As your humble servant I shall-" That's when he noticed Lady Asuka was already long gone….
With Asuka….
Asuka was soon on a tilt rotor flying back to her corporate headquarters. The helicopter that Akiyama was flying in earlier conveniently crashed just outside Toyko once it's black boxes were removed. It was a waste of money (and a qualified pilot) but Asuka couldn't afford any loose ends. If Asuka calculated correctly that fool Akiyama would put on a show to lure out the Uzumakis and die as a result of his own stupidity. From what her intelligence sources said, Alexei, Volf, and Zedonius were all history and Elizebet's fate was in question. Since Ishtaros was actually more afraid of Uzumaki Naruto than Hayabusa Ryu; Asuka figured it was a safe bet that someone as pathetic as Akiyama didn't stand a chance against the Uzumaki Sage.
The question still nagged Asuka; 'Who is Uzumaki Naruto? Is he an ally to me or an enemy?' She was certain that he was Lady Ishtaros' enemy but the more visions she got from the bell the more Asuka was convinced Naruto was meant or at least destined to help her somehow. He was an enemy of the fiends so what did that make him to Asuka? She was a fiend but at the same time was descended of a line of powerful priestesses that Uzumaki was allied with. Asuka decided she would once again meditate on her precious family bell tonight and see if it would reveal any more secrets to her. It wasn't long before her tilt rotor dropped her off at the helipad by her high rise building she lived in. Swiping her security card to gain access; Asuka headed to her penthouse which was her inner sanctum to meditate….
Hayabusa Village
Momoji and Aoi got up early and had already been training for a couple of hours. Momiji was getting the hang of the leaf sticking exercise again with her new chakra reserves and Aoi was working on tree walking between meditation sessions. They both concluded that it would be difficult for Aoi to unlock her chakra because of the four of them learning chakra exercises with Naruto-kun's seals she was the least spiritual and least familiar with meditating. That being said she was carefully listening to Momiji's guidance on these matters as the Dragon Priestess was the best qualified to teach her about these things of all her sister wives.
News had finally reached the Hayabusa Village that Ryu-sama had defeated a greater fiend named Zedonius in Russia and was now following Elizebet to (of all places) South America. His battle had been long and hard and it appeared the battle was far from over. Everyone's prayers were with him. The Hayabusa Clan was also concerned about the Uzumaki's and were apprehensive about the threat of the fiend Akiyama who also served Elizebet. It was difficult to gage his strength because he was playing a game of cat and mouse so far and was hiding instead of fighting openly like Ryu's opponents. Hyabusa Jô was fairly certain that Elizabet would be caught soon but Akiyama was too damned elusive for his liking….
Uzumaki Safe House, Tokyo
Naruto was a bit flabbergasted listening to his wives as they sat over a simple breakfast of steamed rice, miso soup and grilled fish. "Arii Maya is interested in becoming my sixth wife?" He asked in a tone of shock. Seeing his wives' serious nods he said, "Why on earth would she be interested in me?"
Hinata said, "Naruto-kun, I believe she became infatuated with you when you saved her from that hostage situation back when we fought the Yoru Clan and her feelings have been growing ever since. We told her that our lifestyle was very different from hers but she seemed extremely determined to try."
They had a lot to think about...
Tokyo Metropolitan Police Headquarters
Meanwhile, after dropping off Kimura in the medical ward; Yamada made the huge mistake of not taking the rest of the day off as Inspector Otaki said he should and was stuck on desk duty helping the public. He was currently taking a complaint from a woman who clearly wasn't all there.
"Anyway, my Father was an abusive drunk that separated from my Mother when I was four years old." said the woman.
"Okay…." answered Yamada as he started to type out the form.
"Anyway he died recently and I need his records from the JASDF." she explained.
"Okay; so did you contact them?" asked Yamada wondering why she didn't do the obvious. 'Why is she even here?'
"No, I figured I'd come here because my family is conspiring against me to keep me from my inheritance." the woman said conspiratorially.
"Oookay…." said Yamada. 'Is she insane or just drunk? She doesn't smell like booze….'
"Anyway, I need all those records and proof so I can claim my massive inheritance. I need my family records back to the 1400s." stated the woman matter-of-factly. "Would you have them here?"
"I think you need a genealogist for that…." said Yamada tiredly. 'What the hell is wrong with people these days?'
"Well, that's part of my inheritance." she explained. "You see, my Father had about three books that are five inches thick each that proves all this but my family that's conspiring against me won't let me see them."
"I see…." Yamada had a totally vacant look in his eyes by now as he nodded along with her story dumbly. 'I think I'll just delete this complaint form….' he thought as he clicked the mouse.
"Anyway, I own two and half castles and the proof is in Sapporo." she continued. "Can you look up the castles on the internet? I don't know which ones they are."
'Oh my fucking god! Two and a half?! How the hell does that work?' thought Yamada sweating profusely. "Have you tried going to the library if you don't have internet web access?"
"Well, I can't use the library computers since I owe a huge fine from before I went to jail." the woman said as if this was a common, everyday thing.
"You don't say?" replied Yamada. 'What do you say to a statement like that?'
"Yeah, I can't believe the library. Can you tell me what a plane ticket costs to Sapporo? I'm working on a time limit here and my Father died there." she asked expectantly.
"Have you tried a travel agent?" asked Yamada who was seriously considering suicide at this point.
"Well, I'm sure the proof I need is there. I just have to sneak around my family and talk to the lawyer with all my Father's property deeds." explained the woman calmly.
"Why haven't you talked to this lawyer over the phone already?" asked Yamada hoping to use some logic (and make her go away).
"Well, I don't know who the lawyer is." she answered.
"…." said Yamada. 'Someone shoot me now please….'
"That why I need to go to Sapporo. By the way; do you need identification to fly?" the woman asked looking puzzled.
"I think you need to talk a lawyer here in Tokyo so they can give you information on exactly what you need to claim your inheritance before you take a trip to Sapporo." advised Yamada with a friendly (and completely fake) smile on his face.
"That's a good idea Officer. Thanks for all your helpful advice. Have a nice day." the woman said as she left with a wave.
"You do the same Ma'am." replied Yamada in a weak voice. 'Inspector Otaki was right! I should have taken the day off and drank myself sick!'
Poor Yamada….he was in customer service hell….Dealing with bloody ninja battles and evil fiends was much easier than this...
POSTSCRIPT:
Well, it seems that even without Kimura around that poor Yamada can't catch a break. Kimura made the wrong move and it seems he's going to pay for it by hook or by crook due to the Uzumaki Clan. What will his fate be? The cat is out of the bag about Naruto's multiple wives and in spite of that our favorite detective Arii Maya seems more than a little interested in him. Finally, it seems that Akiyama completely underestimated Asuka and she brought him to heel rather brutally as a result. What will Akiyama have to do to draw Naruto out and capture him? See you next chapter. Blue out. 7/10/15