-RE-WRITTEN-

(Please read the final 'Ending Note' for important info)

Rikku: Hey everyone… yeah, it's taking me forever to update, but I thought I should put up the re-written version of Chapter 2 only when I can put up Chapter 3 with it as well – for the story's sake. So… please continue reading and… don't hate me!

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Winter of Love

Chapter 3: The Fear and Overcoming of Friendship

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The possibilities of the upcoming day swirled through my mind as I lay in bed. I tugged on the new robe Anna had given me. 'The beginning of an entirely different life… who knows what tomorrow will bring.' I turned over, lying on my side. 'Should I be happy… now that I'm among friends? Or… worried… that they've gotten so far without me? Am I to be replaced?'

Anxiety now pulsated through me as I threw all thoughts aside, knowing that only fate could pull the strings…

xxxxx

The next morning I had gone mute. Especially during breakfast. Every thought that had formed the previous night was now accomplishing the task of turning me nervous and stiff.

I avoided any kind of conversation as I scooped up a small piece of bacon with my fork. I blankly placed it in my mouth as I thought over the incident from the day before. I wonder if I could take the risk of speaking up without accidentally letting something stupid slip – like a compliment on Horohoro's body!

I knew I wasn't always good with words. At an awkward moment, my words would tend to tie together and there was always that chance where something random would escape instead. The thought of mentioning Horohoro's washboard abs…

I pushed my plate aside and propped my arms on the table in an attempt to bury my face… and that glowing blush. It seemed that anxious feeling from last night had been drained out of me.

"Miho?"

Slowly, I lifted my head from the security my arms had provided and glanced at the one who had spoken. Yoh was sending me a quizzical expression.

"Is something wrong?" he asked. Anna flashed a quick glance my way, as if she were pondering on the situation too, only to disregard it a second later as she got up from her seat.

Horohoro's eyes locked with mine for a blank moment before I turned to Yoh once again. Slowly, I shook my head. "No… I… I'm fine."

"Good," like always, a smile graced the boy's face. "After all, today's event would be ruined if -"

"Event?" Anna and I chorused, cutting into Yoh's words.

The shaman chuckled at the blank – almost frightening – expression on Anna's face. "I wanted you to meet the others - you know, all the friends we've met during our stay here…"

"So he invited all of them over for a 'party' of some sort," Horohoro finished. Those were the first words he had spoken all morning. "Even Pirika."

Yoh nodded, grinning mischievously as the Ice Shaman's face connected sharply to the table as a sign of deep grief. "So… Miho, you in?"

I glanced over at the spiky-blue nest by my plate of breakfast. Yoh and Anna had really come along without me. The way they spoke told me they definitely had an entire army behind them. I cursed my luck, wishing I too had so many people supporting me and holding me up when worse came to worse.

Reluctantly, I nodded. A cheesy smile plastered itself in place with the simple wish to conceal the negative aura I could just barely feel tingeing my skin.

Yoh looked as if he would've pounced on me (or even Horohoro) with delight. However, that visage quickly washed over as he alarmingly froze. His head creaked to the side and his nervous eyes were on Anna's back. "Th-this is… okay, right… Anna?"

"Oh Yoh…" she muttered, shaking her head from side to side. She stood by the sink with her hands hidden in the pile of dishes and soap bubbles. "After this little 'get-together'… You and I are in for one of our own."

Her words sounded evil… almost inhuman.

xxxxx

I sat upon the wooden floor of my room, leaning against the wall, as I anticipated a knock on the door… a voice calling my name… anything that could possibly tell me 'they' were coming.

But that aching feeling of anxiety… I just wasn't too sure about it. Was this really excitement over meeting new people and interacting with them? Or was this similar to one of those situations when you just can't wait for it to be over?

That thrilling sensation in me… was it lying or not? Was it masking reality? Or was every aspect of it portraying truth, itself? Those shivering tingles in my spine… enthusiasm or rather… fear?

Finally, a knock came at the door, and the thought bubbles subsided. I coughed out a hoarse 'Come in.' and Anna slid the door open. She walked in, not at all phased and completely balanced… even with that tall, heavy pile of old books wrapped in her arms.

Puzzled, I pulled my body off the floor, detaching the imaginary roots that had originally weaved themselves around my legs to keep me pinned to my spot. I strode over to the blonde, extending a 'helpful' hand over to her… only to have the massive heap of books thrust into my own arms.

"Uhh…" I began, examining the old, hardcover books just barely slipping out of my hands. "What's all this?"

"Read those when you find the time." Anna stated nonchalantly. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Want to be an Itako? Study the basics first."

"Basics?" I repeated in disbelief. There had to be at least eight different books burdened on me; their amount of pages rivaling those of a bible.

"I don't want you slacking off, so those should keep you busy."

"Well, um…" My arms were slowly reaching their breaking point, until finally, I dropped to my knees and allowed the pile of books to fall in front of me. "Thank you?"

The Itako nodded and motioned towards the door. An exasperated sigh fled from my lips once she was out of sight as I grabbed at a black hardcover. Dust completely concealed it and the smell released when I flipped it open was enough to send me gagging.

"What have I gotten myself into?" I groaned, thrusting the book aside. I shook my head from side to side. "I need some air…"

With my back slouched, I trailed myself out of my room and strayed for the kitchen. I expected to find Yoh in there, snacking away… and sure enough, there he was; however, not alone. The other being - or rather, 'spirit' – that enchanted the room was like nothing I'd ever seen before.

"Ah, Miho," Yoh cheered. "This is Amidamaru."

I remained stoned to my spot, eyes glued to the magnificent ghost hovering – despite the strange chains attached to it – by his master, Yoh. He appeared fierce, strong and serious. But behind that tough exterior, a kind smile had shown through.

I was overwhelmed. Having left the world of Shamans behind so early, I do believe that was my first encounter with a real spirit.

The feeling exploding in the pits of my stomach was enthralling.

xxxxx

Soon my mind was set on a different matter once Yoh announced that the 'guests' were soon to arrive. Instead of that 'explosive feeling' inside of me, I felt my stomach doing somersaults.

I walked uneasily to my room in the interest of getting ready. I was eager to make a good first impression. But when I reached the empty room, just barely occupied by a few bags, my feet rooted right into the wood as thoughts raced through my head.

Friends… these 'friends' Anna and Yoh spoke of. The bond between them seemed so amazingly strong… nothing compared to my vulnerable self. I couldn't tell whether or not I was ready to weave friendships with other people. After all, I had never really loved anyone all my life, except for my mother. But with her gone… the inability to freely love someone appeared distant now, and slowly, loneliness had settled in. With these emotions taking refuge in me, I soon lost the will and ability to express myself… I just couldn't cry. For years, I had never shed a tear; I had forgotten the feeling of releasing my pain that way.

These thoughts made me feel rather inhuman… how well could I possibly interact with these 'friends'?

"Miho…?"

Another train of thoughts snapped. I turned my attention to the door, where a worried HoroHoro stood. I stared blankly at him, finding it difficult to process a word.

"Are you feeling alright?" he questioned, raising a curious brow. "You're not sick, are you?"

Numbly, I shook my head. "I'm fine… just getting ready."

"No need to be so tense." HoroHoro commented. He must have realized from my tone of voice. "No one's going to judge you or anything… as odd as my friends may be-"

"Like you?" I grinned, a playful move kicking in.

"They're still good people." He finished, ignoring my comment – although a quick glare did darken his face for a split second.

I nodded.

The shaman chuckled. "You're an oddball yourself, you know."

I couldn't disagree. Glancing at the boy, I broke into short laughter as well. "Maybe so."

HoroHoro shook his head, still snickering. "So… you want to come on out now?"

"Hai… (Yes)"

xxxxx

I knew I had lived a very isolated life before this… even when I was young, still living in the village as a child, my life was so down-to-earth, anything out of the ordinary rarely occurred…

That was why I was so blown away by the surprise waiting for me in the living room… I was almost certain HoroHoro commented on his friends 'oddness' earlier… but I believe he was underestimating just how 'odd' they truly were…

Their expressions interrogated me; pinning me to the wall with stares. "H-hello…" Taking a weary step back, I smiled sweetly. "Hajime mashite… (how are you)?"

Years of training still weren't enough to prepare me for the next misfortune. My eyes immediately focused on the tall one with the strange, cylinder shaped hair. His outfit was all white with an awkward purple collar… enough to rival Elvis' choice of clothing. He took easy strides towards me until he was just a few inches away. I was able to see just how tall he was in comparison to my short self.

In a swift movement, my hands were then cupped in his and he had leaned in so much, our noses barely touched. I heard HoroHoro snort from behind me and realized this must've been a regular routine for 'Elvis' here.

"Oh, sweet angel!" His voice tickled against my skin. "What an honor it is to…"

"Umm…" I tried squirming out of that very uncomfortable position without causing a scene. I guess my efforts were visible since HoroHoro quickly came to my aid.

"Ryou," he snapped, pulling my hands out of the older boy's. "Keep your distance, she's a minor."

'Minor'… The word repeated itself over and over again in my mind. I knew HoroHoro was playfully choosing his words, but I felt my stomach ache when he had spoken. True, I was rather inexperienced with men, and he knew that, but… to be addressed in such a way…

The one named 'Ryou' blinked in awe as he set his gaze on HoroHoro. "Ehh… if what you meant by 'minor' was that she was already yours… you could've said so."

It was then that both HoroHoro and I realized his own hand had wrapped itself around mine after he freed me from Ryou's grasp and that, in order to do so, he had placed himself so defensively in front of me.

My face boiled with embarrassment. Immediately, my eyes widened and I retrieved my hand from HoroHoro's grip. He reacted just as quickly as well, enclosing a quick blow to Ryou's head. I was relieved to find out no one else had been watching our little mishap, as they were all attending to their own business nonchalantly.

Shaking my head, I motioned towards the kitchen, leaving the two boys quarreling in the living room. However, on my way, I just barely kept from tripping over a small object in the way… or rather, a small person. "Oh… hi there."

The boy had just prepared himself to speak up, but Yoh had walked in at that moment, smiling. "Ah… I see you've met Manta."

I nodded to Yoh and turned to bow at the small one called, 'Manta'.

"It's a pleasure, Miho." He responded.

But our conversation had been interrupted by a ferocious shriek from the next room. On instinct, I swiftly turned my head to the source… only to see an angry blue-haired girl pounding rapid fists onto HoroHoro's head. "Are we supposed to… do something?"

But Yoh merely chuckled. "Nah, that's Pirika. It's probably best if you don't get in her way."

"Honto ni (Really)?" I gasped. "She's the 'insane' sister of poor HoroHoro? But… look at her, she seems so…"

"Harmless?" Manta finished.

I nodded, grinning in amusement. "Hmm… if they're siblings, it's only fair that we let them work this out, ne?" Taking one last glance at the scene – Pirika was now stretching HoroHoro's ears back as far as possible – I chuckled and left for the kitchen. There, I found Anna sternly speaking to a petit girl with bright pink hair. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"Not at all." Anna said, ready to take her leave as she turned away. "By the way, this is Tamao." she added. I glanced at the pink-haired girl Anna was referring to. "Much like you, she's an old friend of ours and also staying here at the shrine. Tamao just recently went to visit Yohmei-sensei."

After Anna had finally left, I boosted my weight in order to take a seat on the high counter. "Oi (hey), Tamao… it's nice meeting you."

Shyly, she nodded. "You too, Miho-san…"

I snorted. "No need for honorifics, just plain 'Miho' is fine."

Tamao nodded. "Anna was just telling me your story," she mentioned rather timidly. "I hope you don't mind."

"Iie (no), it's fine… I guess that since I'm the one everyone was invited to meet, it's only fair if you all know why I'm here and who I am."

"I admire how cheerful your attitude is… even with everything that's happened to you." A friendly smile lightened up her face. "So, have you met everyone yet?"

I took a moment to register all of the past events from that day. "Hmm… almost. I still haven't introduced myself to the boy with the lethal-looking hair though."

Tamao chuckled. "Oh yes, that's Ren... he's not much of a talker."

"I guess you're right…" I began. Suddenly, a loud, echoing crash sounded from the living room and I decided to give in. "Sibling rivalry or not…" I muttered, turning to Tamao. "I think I'll go check that out."

I hopped off the counter and walked back to where the sound had come from. I found HoroHoro walking rather unsteadily, with a hand on his bruised head and a roll of bandages in the other. I sighed and scanned the room for Pirika's whereabouts. No where in sight.

"Daijobu ka (are you okay)?" I spoke up, lending the boy support as we moved towards the couch.

There, he physically threw his limp body, glancing at me, the ceiling, and back again. Without a reply, he let out a long and unpleasant groan.

I chuckled. "Alright, I'll leave you to ache in peace."

"Chotto (wait)." His response caught me off guard. "Stay here, with me... That is, if you want to… I can't guarantee Pirika won't come back to torment me, but… the company would be appreciated."

"O-okay…" I nodded, taking a seat. I fidgeted with my hands, trying to ignore the heat rising to my cheeks once again. "Err.. If you don't mind me asking..." I began. "Why is it that the two of you – I mean, you and Pirika – are always feuding?"

Sighing, HoroHoro pulled himself to a sitting position, staring at the goz in his hands. "I truthfully don't know… Pirika's doing everything she can to help me... but day by day, it doesn't seem like 'training' anymore… but torture instead. I just want her to give me a break!"

"Reminds me of… my father and I." I whispered, particularly to myself.

"Nani (what)? Did you say something?"

"Hmm? Oh…" Even though HoroHoro's gaze had returned to me, I quickly looked away. "No… nothing at all."

"Miho?" I could just barely hear the worry in his voice. "Is something wrong?"

"Uh… excuse me," I replied, pulling myself off the couch. I didn't bother to look back at the shaman. "Sorry…"

xxxxx

Just like before, I found myself cooped up in my room again. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, silently contemplating. What was I so afraid of? Just a while ago, I felt bold and almost as if I belonged somewhere… but the angst welling up in my heart had released itself and I found myself dreading my own existence all over again. That man… my 'father'. If there was anyone to blame, it was him.

I wanted to remember the good times; before my mother died. When fear wasn't the base of my feelings and hate was an emotion I rarely felt. I thought of all those times when we acted like a real family… when he loved me and I was free.

But then he became ruthless. After she passed away, his only concern was money. Who would marry his daughter? Was he rich? Strong? What was his next move when it came to ruining lives?

'But maybe… he's like Pirika after all,' I remembered thinking, curdled up against the wall. 'What if he only wants what's best for me? What are his true intentions…?'

'No.' I shook my head. I couldn't stand thinking of that man so lightly. 'It doesn't matter. I'm my own person and I can look after myself… I can support myself and… fall in love on my own…'

Suddenly, a loud cheer – finally, a pleasant sound – echoed from outside and curiosity grasped at me. I sighed, getting to my feet. I wiped at my dry eyes (once again, no tears) and wandered out of my room. I proceeded to the living room wearily and froze when I saw the group gathered, smiles spreading across their faces, with glasses held in the air.

"Here's to Miho!" HoroHoro exclaimed. "The newest addition to our team!"

"Yatta!" Yoh was next to shout, then taking a large gulp of his refreshment.

The others (except for Pirika, Ren and Anna) cheered, causing another blush to form on my face. Suddenly, all the confused and depressed feelings in me seemed to have bottled themselves up, and I straightened my back, smiling.

"Join us Miho!" Manta suggested, handing me a glass.

I nodded, accepting the drink with much gratitude. Without warning, Yoh and Ryou dragged me onto the couch, where I fell, laughing and enjoying every second I spent with my friends… surely, all the devastation in me had melted away…

xxxxx

Rikku: Thanks for reading the re-written version of Chapter 3. Please, please remember to review! Also, Sorry for the late update!

Dewa Mata!
x-Rikku-x

xxxxx

Ending Note: It is absolutely necessary to read this re-written chapter (if you already read this chapter before it was re-written, I'm afraid you must read it again) along with all the other chapters that will be re-done; the newly added and/or changed events may affect the outcome of Winter of Love… not to mention, better explanations of the stuff that happened in the further chapters will be provided as well.