Chapter 38
Blanket disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Ninja Gaiden or DOA
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
….And now for something completely different. I'd like to thank Lord Farsight for his input on this chapter. This one is a little lighter given we're going to be heading towards a darker story arc soon. We'll also see the introduction of a couple of Dead or Alive characters in this one. Also, since we are getting closer to DOA1 here is an updated list of current ages of the characters for those keeping score:
Ayane, Maya (physically): 16 (Maya 24 mentally)
Naruto, Hinata, Kasumi, Aoi: 17
Momiji: 18
Ryu, Kureha, Hayate: 23
Here's chapter 38. Enjoy!
Last time:
Maya was looking over Kimiko's other shoulder at the screen and thought, 'They are after our chakra. I need to tell the others. Our whole clan could be in danger –and the JSDF doesn't need to know about it….'
….
By morning JSDF Agent Subaru Kimiko reported in that all the LOA personnel were dead or had abandoned Em Nenhum Island. She also reported that the island was being used as a research facility for human experimentation and requested that a helicopter be sent to retrieve them. Unbeknownst to Kimiko a demolition level exploding tag had been set in place by the Uzumakis to destroy the underground facility. The kind of research being done there not only would endanger the Uzumaki Clan but the world as a whole as cloning humans (either with or without chakra) was something no government should have knowledge of….
The Seaking helicopter that dropped them off the night before soon picked up the Uzumaki expedition. It landed and then quickly flew them out from the LOA Base heliport. They were to return with a NATO Team to explore the facility within a few days. An hour later the lab coincidentally exploded leaving the island to the remaining dinosaurs….
North Island Naval Air Station, San Diego, U.S.A.
Uzumaki Naruto was less than thrilled. The C-21A Learjet the Uzumakis were taking back to Japan had engine problems so they were forced to land at the U.S. Navy Air Station North Island in San Diego. They had to go through a massive amount of paperwork and Kimiko had sweated blood to try to get another flight out. Sadly, because the Uzumakis were technically mercenaries and their mission was already complete, no one was in a particular hurry to get them home. The Uzumaki clan had hoped to link up with Ryu and help him but sadly they were stuck with a long stopover. Agent Subaru even contacted the JSDF Command about the situation but the top brass in Japan simply sent orders to hurry up and wait till the plane was fixed….
Kimiko was sweating a bit when she said, "I'm really sorry guys but we're going to but stuck here for a week to ten days because of all the bureaucratic red tape between Japan and the United States to get our plane fixed. We're very low priority in the eyes of the high command."
Kasumi sighed. "So are we going to be stuck here on this base for the next week?"
Agent Subaru shook her head. "We all have international Visas and passports so there's no reason we can't take a little vacation. You all speak English according to your dossiers so I don't see why we should all stay cooped up here. I've never been here so maybe we can have some fun." The Uzumakis let out a collective sigh. "Oh come on guys, cut me some slack!" whined Kimiko. "The Air Station director said the Pacific Beach neighborhood area north of here is really nice. There's lots of cool stuff there!"
"If we don't go with her Subaru will run off and get herself killed or kidnapped." muttered Aoi.
"I agree; we should stick together to keep her out of trouble….Otherwise we'll end up swimming back to Japan." agreed Maya dourly.
Ayane nodded in agreement. "She's so tiny that you could kidnap her in just a suitcase."
"I can hear all you are saying you know!" said Kimiko stomping her foot angrily.
After some further discussion and looking up the area on the web the Uzumakis agreed that Pacific Beach sounded like a nice place to stay. That's when Kimiko's eyes turned into stars and she said, "After we get a hotel; the first thing we have to do is go shopping. I can't wait to see you all in cool western clothes! Then we can look for bikinis so we can all swim!" Then she squealed, "According to this the nightlife on Garnet Avenue is supposed to be awesome!"
Seeing the drool coming out of Kimiko's mouth the entire Uzumaki clan thought as one, 'I should have known….'
Pacific Beach, San Diego
A popular DJ named Zack (age 25) lived in the San Diego area. A self-taught world class Muay Thai boxer, Zack always was entering tournaments in search of money and fame. Zack was currently in a bit of trouble. On his radio show he'd said some rather insulting remarks about a local drug cartel/gang named the Penguins (Their founder was a huge fan of the Batman super villain) that had been in the news lately. Alas, Zack's big mouth and calling the gang boss's wife fat during a live broadcast resulted in him getting more than a few death threats and the radio studio he broadcasted from received the lovely gift of a Molotov cocktail and he lost his job. Nevertheless, Zack's sunny disposition and positive attitude made him conclude that he could treat this whole unemployment debacle as a little vacation until he found a job again. What he wasn't aware of was the Penguins were still holding a grudge and the DJ was in a bit more trouble than he realized….
Zack was currently hanging around Pacific Beach specifically….why? Well, it certainly wasn't to hide from the Penguins. Actually he had heard at the radio station (before it was blown up and he lost his job) that the up and coming pro wrestling star Tina Armstrong was vacationing in the area and being a huge fan of hers he wanted to meet her in person (preferably on the beach in a bikini). Never let it be said that the self proclaimed 'Funky Muay Thai Dude' didn't have his priorities set straight….
North Island Naval Air Station
The seven ninjas and one JSDF Agent went through the security checkpoint leaving the Naval Air Station and though Subaru was allowed to keep her side arms because she was a military agent; the ninjas were supposed to leave all of their weapons and armor behind and travel as civilians. Of course, the Uzumakis had civilian clothes in scrolls but more importantly those clothes were conveniently covered in tiny seals so the ninjas were literally armed to the teeth even if they were in nothing but their underwear….not to mention the hidden seals painted on their wrists….
"Everyone gets sunglasses." announced Kimiko as they went to board the bus for Pacific Beach. She didn't want Hinata or Maya to feel uncomfortable by people staring at their unusual eyes. That's when Hinata put a minor henge over her eyes to make it look like her eyes were normal but a beautiful violet color. Maya did the same but her eyes were brown like they were before her chakra was unlocked. "How did you do that?" whispered Kimiko.
"Trade secret." answered Hinata cryptically. "Thanks for the sunglasses by the way." she said as she put them on.
Ayane considered putting a henge up to change her eye and hair color but Naruto had always said those were some of her best features so she decided not to. She smiled at her husband who brightly smiled back. Ayane could tell Naruto missed their usual displays of affection they always shared at home as much as she did. Actually, the violet haired kunoichi knew all of the girls and Naruto felt that way. Figuring Kimiko would probably have her hentai mind go into overdrive or totally meltdown at the idea of Naruto having a harem (or worse trying to join in) Ayane just continued to smile weakly as they all rode the bus. 'I hope Ryu-sama is okay….' she thought worriedly.
Kasumi was of like mind to her younger sister. She was worried about things and wanted to spend time with Naruto-kun and the family in general. 'Having to keep the fact we are all sister-wives and married to Naruto-kun hidden is a pain in the ass.' she grouched mentally. 'We haven't had any real private time since we left the Hayabusa Village. I can't wait to get home and make sure everyone is safe and sound. I'm sure Ryu is going to be all right but I can't help but be worried.'
Maya was quietly looking out the window wondering how the hell she ended up in this situation. She'd been to California once before (Los Angeles to be specific) which was where she acquired a preference to the Berretta M92FS that she always carried as a detective. When the Uzumakis rescued her in Tokyo from Asuka's poisoning they grabbed it as well. It was really her only keepsake from her police days. That seemed like a lifetime ago to her now. Occasionally Maya got nostalgic but the truth was she was overjoyed to be a ninja and part of the Uzumaki clan. She loved Naruto and they had agreed that once they got back to the Hayabusa Village that she too would become his wife. Maya couldn't have been happier about that but the LOA and their interest in chakra had her worried….
Aoi had two things on her mind; killing Lovelace (whoever the hell she was) and wiping out the Lords of Alchemy. The auburn haired kunoichi sighed. 'Unfortunately I'm in no position to do either. I know that Ryu-sama is strong but I can't help but feel that we Uzumakis should be there too. Being struck here makes me feel helpless.' She looked across the aisle at Momiji. 'Momiji-chan is really worried. I wish I could help more. It amazes me how close she and I have become. We're best friends now but we were really trying to kill each other at first. Naruto-kun really changed us….'
Momiji's thoughts were on her older sister and brother-in-law. 'I hope Kureha nee-chan and Ryu nii-san are alright. Naruto-kun planned to race us home to help and now we're stuck in the United States. From what we could gather about the Lords of Alchemy Ryu is going to need all the help he can get.' thought the Dragon Shrine Maiden.
Naruto was thinking about Ryu as well. 'Damn it Ryu; we would have helped if you had just called us sooner. I have this feeling that whatever the LOA has planned you're going to face alone before we make it back to Japan. I can tell Momiji-chan is worried sick and all the rest of us are restless about the situation.' He sighed mentally. 'After this is over you'd better be okay….' He felt Hinata's hand squeeze his reassuringly. She could always read his moods best.
"It's going to be okay Naruto-kun." whispered Hinata with a gentle smile. "Have faith that Ryu will be fine. We're all concerned."
Naruto squeezed her hand back and said, "Thanks Hinata-chan."
Hinata nodded. 'Everyone is worried.' She looked over at Kimiko who was typing ferociously on her phone. 'Subaru Kimiko is an odd woman. I think deep down she's nice enough and means well but damn she can be annoying. At least she's been acting a bit more professional on the way back. I guess being chased by an Allosaurus knocked some of the attitude out of her. I know she's book smart from what she can do with computers but I do wonder about her common sense.'
Kimiko figured her job was to keep everyone's morale up by keeping them distracted. She was busily looking over potential nightclubs to hit. The JSDF Agent was 23 and according to the fake I.D.'s and passports the Uzumakis had they all were of drinking age between 21 and 23. She really had no idea the bunch of young ninja assassins she was running around with should all still be in high school. Kimiko also was looking over the myriad restaurants and boutiques in the area. She had a nice enough body and enjoyed showing it off in sexy clothes. Of course, she really wanted to play dress up with the Uzumaki's in western clothing as a whole and Momiji-chan in particular….all for the mission of course. Kimiko had a lot to report to the Defense Secretary about the Lords of Alchemy and the abilities the Uzumaki ninjas had. As far as Kimiko was concerned their potential was off the charts….'I just wish they weren't so damned secretive!' thought the JSDF Agent. She hoped the ninjas would continue to help the JSDF in the future….
Blue Sea Beach Hotel
The group got off the bus and headed towards their destination that Kimiko found on the web. "Blue Sea Beach Hotel. It got pretty good reviews on the web and it's close to the beach." said the JSDF Agent. "What do you guys think of it?"
"It looks okay to me." said Maya who mysteriously had a tablet out to confirm Kimiko's findings.
Kimiko asked, "Where did that tablet come from?"
"It was in my purse." answered Maya motioning to the tiny purse she was carrying.
'There's no way in hell she had that tablet in there. The tablet is bigger than the purse. It must be another ninja thing.' Kimiko grumbled mentally. "So when did you get that?" asked the dainty Agent.
Kasumi held up her own tablet out of nowhere. "We just helped ourselves during our little visit to Em Nenhum Island."
Kimiko face palmed. 'I should demand that they turn those over to the JSDF but knowing them they'll just make the tablets vanish into thin air.' Looking at Kasumi for a moment Kimiko shrugged. 'She could probably hide it between her breasts….actually any of them could. Must be nice. Mine aren't small but somehow all the girls make me feel inadequate….I wish I was completely stacked like that….'
The JSDF Agent was shaken out of her size comparison between herself and the rather top heavy kunoichis when Ayane said, "Well, let's head in and see if enough rooms are available."
….
Naruto came up to the front counter at the hotel. "I'd like seven rooms please. My surname is Uzumaki." he said as he pulled out his passport. The clerk was too busy gawking dreamily at Naruto's wives to notice Naruto was even there. He had a totally glaze eyed look that indicated his mind was on anything but business. The clerk suddenly felt the hairs on his neck stand up from a small spike of killing intent from Naruto that made him stop drooling.
"Y-yes sir?" asked the clerk.
"I'd like seven rooms please." growled the blonde ninja as he held up his I.D.
"Oh! O-of course sir, let me see what I've got." stammered the clerk.
"You're sure each of you wants a room to themselves?" asked Kimiko. "We could cut the price way down if we get four double rooms."
Naruto nodded. "All of us need a little privacy after being cooped up in airplanes and barracks for days on end." 'I'm going to treat my vixens right tonight. I want to show them how much I love them; especially Momiji-chan. I know she's really worried."
Aoi smiled. There was hunger in her hazel eyes. 'Hmmm….A nice beachfront hotel and sex with my Naruto-kun for a week. I can't say no to that.'
The Uzumakis all had similar thoughts on their minds as they voiced their opinions that a little privacy would be nice. Poor Kimiko had no idea what was going to be going on right under her nose….
The desk clerk was more than happy to charge them for eight rooms with a seaside view however. Once they got their keys they made their way to their rooms except for Kimiko and Naruto who were signing some paperwork to assure they wouldn't damage the property and such.
About that time Zack came bopping in and got a room himself. He was wearing shorts and a nice white tee shirt with a marijuana leaf on it that proudly proclaimed 'HEMP IS LIFE' on it. He noticed a blonde man a bit shorter than himself with whisker marks on his cheeks and thought they were cool tattoos. The blonde was wearing jeans with a black shirt and an orange (Uzumaki) swirl on the front. With the blonde was a very cute but tiny Asian woman with some kind of quasi military brown leather jacket over a white tee shirt and white shorts. They were standing over by the vending machine outside looking over the selections and Zack decided to introduce himself. "Yo man! The name is Zack. I've got to ask, where did you get those cool whisker tattoos?" He held out his hand to shake and Naruto returned the gesture and gave him a firm handshake. 'This dude's got an iron grip!' thought the DJ.
"Hello, I'm Uzumaki Naruto." answered the blonde. "They are actually birthmarks, not tattoos."
"That's even cooler!" exclaimed Zack. He turned to Kimiko and said, "Time to greet the lovely lady. I'm Zack; what's your name babe?"
Kimiko chuckled at the eccentric DJ as she shook his hand. "I'm Subaru Kimiko. Nice to meet you."
Zack asked, "So you guys are here from Japan? Your English is good but the man hears you both have a tiny accent."
Kimiko nodded. "We and our friends are staying here a week or so Mr. Zack."
"Vacation huh? That's cool with me." said Zack. "I'm on a bit of a vacation myself."
….
Naruto was standing there talking with Zack and Kimiko when two members of the Penguins arrived.
"Yo mutha fucka! Leave Zack ta our asses or you'll git hurt." said Penguin one.** Zack got ready to fight….and Naruto and Kimiko were puzzled.
"Huh? What did you say?" asked Naruto in confusion. "Are you speaking English?"
Penguin one was riled. "What, biatch? Don't you KNOW gangsta, biatch? Leave before I cut you down wit mah knife!"
Kimiko got a gleam in her eye. "Hold everything! I've got an app on my phone to translate gangsta!" She turned to Penguin one who was livid by now. "Talk into my phone and it will translate for us."
"Let me make it plain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. See dis fuckin switchblade, biatch? I'll slice you open!" growled Penguin one as he pulled his knife and flicked it open.
Kimiko tapped her phone to translate. "He said, Let me make it plain. See this fucking switchblade man? I'll slice you open!"
"Oh….that's a cool phone." said Naruto.
Penguin one yelled, "What tha hell biatch? What's wack wit yo slick ass, biatch? I've gots a knife here n' you playin wit yo' phone!" as he waved his switchblade threateningly.
"He said, What the hell woman? What's wrong with you? I've got a knife here and you're playing with your phone!" supplied Kimiko helpfully.
"Give me that before you poke yourself." said Naruto as his hand blurred and he snatched the knife out of the frustrated Penguin one's hand.
Penguin two said in shock, "What is you bustin, biatch? Yo ass can't do dat son! Give mah playa back his blade!"
The JSDF Agent said, "This guy says, What are you doing? You can't do that! Give my friend back his knife!"
Naruto said to the two thugs, "Just go home or I'll hurt you."
"You're threatenin our asses biatch?" said Penguin two. "Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck do you be thinkin yo ass is?"
Naruto turned to Kimiko who said, "You're threatening us man? Who do you think you are?" Then Kimiko pulled out her 9mm and said, "I think this will speak in any language." as she pointed it at Penguin two's face.
Penguin two said in a frightened tone. "Whoa! Wait a minute biaaatch! Us thugs was only clownin, biatch! Just clownin that's all. No need ta blast us!"
The two gang members scurried off as Kimoko holstered her pistol. "He said, Whoa! Wait a minute! We were only joking! Just joking that's all. No need to shoot us!" said Kimiko as she turned off her phone.
"Huh, interesting guys." said Naruto. "Good thing you had that phone Subaru otherwise that could have been really confusing. Are you in some sort of trouble Mr. Zack?"
Zack cringed a bit. "Yo, I'm a DJ. I accidentally called their gang leader's wife fat during my radio show and they've been after my ass ever since. It's really cool that you guys helped me out though. By the way, you're damn fast. Are you a martial artist?"
"Something like that." said Naruto mysteriously. "You seem to have the physique of a kick boxer Mr. Zack. I assume you practice martial arts as well?"
Zack nodded. "Good eye. Just call me Zack dude. I'm into the Muay Thai style."
Hayabusa Ninja Village, Japan
While the Uzumakis were stuck in sunny California, Ryu was back in Japan having borrowed the Sword of the Archfiend from Lord Genshin's grave. The Black Spider Ninjas were furious and the Hayabusa heir was forced to fight a horde of them while making his escape. After a long and brutal fight he managed to stagger back through the Sea of Trees to the Hayabusa Ninja Village where he collapsed. The Grip of Murder was wearing heavily on Ryu and after he passed out he had a horrible nightmare of being consumed by the curse. When he awoke he found himself in the comforting arms of his fiancé Kureha.
Kureha ran her hands through his brown hair and said, "I'm glad you are awake my love. I've been watching over you ever since young Sanji found you." She kissed him gently and whispered, "I love you Ryu-kun. Let me take care of you a little while longer."
….
Hours later Ryu awoke with Kureha in his arms. Her eyes were full of love and tears and she said, "Jô-sama and I have been researching the curse. It has infested your entire body. We don't know how to remove it. An ancestor was afflicted with something similar in the past and it consumed him leaving only the Dragon Sword behind."
Ryu looked at his beautiful lover. "Is there a reason why behind this Kureha-chan?"
Kureha nodded. "The Dragon Sword has become tainted over the millennia by the souls of the evil ones it has slain. The curse on the Dragon Sword is karmic retribution for the many deeds of the Dragon Ninja over the generations. We have not given up though. I swear to you if there is a cure I will find it!"
Ryu and Kureha held each other for some time. Feeling the weariness on his soul lightened by Kureha's touch he said, "We'll find a way out of this together Kureha-chan."
Soon the Dragon Ninja was on his way back to the JSDF Yunagi to continue fighting the Lords of Alchemy. He briefly worried about the Uzumakis and their part in this war in the shadows….
Pacific Beach, San Diego
Ryu really needn't have worried. The only danger his friends of the Uzumaki clan were facing was the cost of new swimsuits at the store they were planning to go to today. Naruto was in a good mood this morning because last night he was finally able to be alone with his beautiful wives and was able to make them all feel a little better. When he woke up with Momiji-chan in his arms this morning he could tell she was still (rightfully) worried but at the same time she was smiling and had a healthy glow shining around her. They took a nice morning shower together and Naruto soon got the memories of his clones who had been working hard to please all his vixens.
As they all sat at breakfast everyone was obviously in a good mood when Kimiko came down to join them. She was eager to do some shopping and already had her phone out to research but was wondering why the entire Uzumaki clan seemed to be in such a stellar mood given how down they had been the previous day….Soon Naruto was greeted by Zack who was awestruck at the 'bevy of beauteous babes' surrounding Naruto. After being introduced to all of them, Zack said he knew the area and he offered to show them around if they liked. When Kimiko said they needed to shop for bikinis and where they were going to shop Zack's eyebrows rose to comical heights and he INSISTED on being their guide….
….
Now Zack was staring at Naruto dumbfounded as he sat on a bench outside the swimwear store along with Naruto. "Um, Naruto my man….Why are we out here when all those gorgeous babes are in there when we could be watching?!"
Naruto simply smiled and said, "The girls said they wanted to surprise me so who am I to argue? Besides, the shop was a bit crowded with all of them in there. Patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait."
"You must have the patience of some kind of saint to be able to say that." replied the DJ as he perspired.
Inside his head Naruto was staring with a nosebleed and foaming at the mouth at all his beautiful vixens dancing around him in little tiny swimsuits. Naruto was using sage mode meditation techniques to keep himself calm. 'It's times like these when I think of Ero-sennin….' thought Naruto nostalgically. Then he mentally growled, 'That dirty old man is probably peeping on my vixens from the afterlife….'
Inside….
"Naruto-kun is sure to like this." said Aoi to herself as she looked in the mirror at the emerald green bikini she was wearing. She giggled and thought, 'I can't wait for him to peel it off. He's going to love taking this off of me!'
All of the girls had a suit of their usual colors and two others that they'd picked out with the help of the others. Aoi had green, Kasumi blue and Momiji red and white. Ayane had purple, Maya had black and Hinata had white as their first choices. As for Kimiko, she'd been driven to distraction by all the kunoichis and hadn't picked anything until the others turned upon her and forced her to pick something. 'There out to be a law against looking that hot.' thought Kimiko to herself as she tried on various swimsuits. 'Don't those girls realize how sexy they are? I almost died of blood loss!'
While Kimiko was fantasizing about Naruto's wives; the kunoichis went ahead and changed back into their civilian clothes and rang up their purchases. Momiji some came out in her red tank top and cutoff denim shorts and said with a teasing smile to her husband, "Naruto-kun, you'll never guess what we bought."
"What did you buy Momiji-chan?" asked Naruto sounding much more eager than he planned too.
Kasumi came out and giggled. "You'll see soon enough Naruto-kun." She laughed when Naruto pouted and patted him on top of the head.
Kimiko soon came out and got in line behind Hinata. Hinata asked, "Did you find something you liked Kimiko?"
The dainty JSDF Agent flashed a smile and said, "I've get three suits that will wow them at the beach!"
Soon everyone was outside and Naruto had given up on seeing his wives' purchases until they were good and ready. Then the girls turned on Naruto. "Na-ru-to-kun, we need to pick you out some swimming trunks to go to the beach in too." said Hinata.
'Ohhh boy….' thought Naruto.
….
Pacific Beach, oceanfront
That afternoon, Tina Armstrong (age 22) was at the beach to be seen by her adoring fans. The voluptuous, blue eyed blond*** was soaking up some rays as well as enjoying her celebrity status that was growing. Even though she was a rising superstar in pro wrestling she wanted Hollywood to notice her (Of course her Daddy was completely against it). The Texas native wanted to become a model too. She was wearing a red, white and blue bikini with an American flag on it. She observed a group of Asian models(?) come to the beach with two men, a blonde and an Afro-American with shades. Seeing these girls were attracting all kinds of attention (kunoichis were basically trained to be alluring from when they were born) Tina decided to see if there was a photo shoot going on or something.
As Naruto and his wives set up their beach towels and things, Zack noticed Tina approaching. He grabbed Naruto and said, "Check it out man! It's Tina Armstrong in the flesh! We have to meet her!"
Naruto raised an eyebrow. He had NO idea about Zack being Tina's biggest fan. "Ummm….who is this Tina Armstrong person?"
Zack looked at Naruto as if he'd grown a second head but then remembered Naruto was from Japan. "Dude, she's one of the hottest babes in the United States! She's a pro-wrestling star. She's coming this way." He adjusted his shades. "She needs to catch my good side!" Zack then assumed a manly pose.
"Okaaay…." said Naruto. 'Zack sure is an oddball. He's a good guy but really eccentric. I guess she must be some kind of celebrity.'
Tina came up and smiled at the group. She didn't see any camera equipment but upon closer inspection these girls were even more beautiful up close. She said, "Hey, I'm Tina Armstrong. Are you gals photo models?"**** 'Maybe they can recommend an agent to me.' she thought.
"Yo! I'm Zack! It's great to meet you in person Miss Armstrong!" said the sunglasses wearing man flamboyantly.
Tina looked at Zack and said, "Likewise, are you with them?" she asked motioning to the kunoichis.
"Ummm….They're friends of mine from Japan." said Zack wondering why Tina was paying attention to the girls instead of him.
"So you aren't their agent?" asked Tina.
Hinata said kindly, "We're just tourists, not models Miss Armstrong. Mr. Zack is a friend we met here while on vacation."
"Really?" asked Tina. "Maybe you ought to try it."
About that time four BIG Penguin gang members came marching up when they saw Zack.
"There yo ass is Zack! Yo ass aren't gettin away dis time. Da boss wants ta git a word wit you, biatch." said Peguin A.
Zack cringed. 'Oh my god! What bad timing! I finally get to meet the babe Tina and the Penguins show up.' "Hey dudes, can you come back later? We're having an important meeting here."
Kimiko already had her phone out to translate.
Penguin B said, "What did you say, biatch? Yo ass had betta not ignore our asses mutha fucka!"
"He said, What did you say? You had better not ignore us mother fucker!" translated Kimiko.
"I just holla'd dat girl!" yelled Penguin B.
"I'm getting sick of this." said Kimiko. "He said, I just said that girl!"
Penguin C got a big smile and said, "Those is some mighty fine hoes you've gots there Zack. Hand dem hoes n' all yo' scrilla over n' we'll say our phat asses didn't peep you."
The JSDF Agent explained, "That one said, Those are some mighty fine women you've got there Zack. Hand those women and all your money over and we'll say we didn't see you."
"Hand us girls over?" asked Momiji.
"That's what tha fuck I holla'd ta you biatch." said Penguin C with a leer as all four Penguins laughed lecherously.
"I'm pissed." said Ayane as she leg sweeped Penguin C and sent him tumbling. Penguin B received a brutal kick to his midsection from Kasumi a spit second later that made him double over and spit blood.
Penguin D screeched, "What tha fuck? What is you hoes bustin comin' at us?"
"No need to translate" said Hinata as she hit Penguin D it the solar plexus with a juken strike that knocked all the air out of him and sent him flying.
Penguin A said "Yo ass hoes is all insane!" as he turned to flee seeing his buddies getting pummeled. Aoi hit him in the back of the head with a roundhouse kick that made his face hit the sand.
Momiji and Maya ended up playing the goalie position to kick the downed thugs back into play as they tried to crawl away from the brutal ass kicking they were receiving.
Kimiko decided not to bother translating the anguished cries of the four big men as the six petite kunoichis beat them senseless….
"Ummm….Should we help them?" asked Zack.
Naruto shook his head, "Nah; the girls have some frustration to vent. Those four slobs were the ones stupid enough to start something."
"I meant help the thugs while they're still alive…." said Zack. Naruto didn't bother to reply to that.
Tina was excited. "These girls are really good!"
Things went predictably downhill from there….
Hours later after the four teams of EMTs, policemen and an additional fire ambulance left….
"That was brutal." said Zack as he downed another wine cooler. He was trying to get the images out of his brain of the four poached gang members. "I can't believe the cops just let the girls go like that. My respect for babes has gone way; way up Naruto."
Naruto didn't seem fazed in the least about it all. The thugs were asking for it as far as he was concerned. Hinata's genjutsu was what really convinced the police to leave without a fuss but that was academic in the eyes of the Uzumaki clan head.
Tina was over talking to the girls excitedly about their 'mixed martial arts.' The kunoichis were some superb fighters and Tina Armstrong suddenly had an urge to do even more with her pro-wrestling style.
Blue Sea Beach Hotel
Naruto and his wives got in late that night. Zack decided to leave them to it and Tina had bid them a good night after inviting them to spar sometime. Kimiko went to bed as soon as they got back to the hotel. Naruto was followed back to his bedroom by Maya. She whispered, "Naruto-kun…."
Naruto turned around and they kissed deeply. "What is it Maya-chan?"
"I love what your clone did for me last night but he didn't take me all the way." said Maya blushing. "Make me your wife tonight Naruto-kun. I love you."
The blonde smiled before he created five shadow clones for his other wives. They vanished in body flickers and Naruto and Maya kissed each other passionately. "I'll do anything your heart desires Maya-chan…."
Naruto and Maya spent their first night together in passion as husband and wife. For the first time in her life Maya felt complete as she fell asleep in her husband's arms. Uzumaki Maya was finally where she belonged….
POSTSCRIPT:
**Disclaimer: I don't speak gangsta and used Gizoogle to translate. This is satire people. I'm intentionally using stereotypes here. Don't take it seriously! ….And yes, Gizoogle is an actual website so you too can speak gangsta.
***Apparently Tina was meant to be blonde all along and the only reason she wasn't in DOA1 was something to do with a graphics limitation on the original arcade game. For the purposes of this fic she's blonde throughout to avoid confusion.
****I'm not going to attempt Tina's southern drawl. Accents are difficult for me to differentiate on paper….Hell; I needed a translator for gangsta after all.
Well, a bit off the beaten track for me but I was in the mood for some levity. While poor Ryu is globetrotting to save the world from the Lords of Alchemy; the Uzumakis are struck with sand, surf and sex to keep them busy….and of course wailing on some truly hopeless gang members on the side. If I'm not mistaken Zack and Tina weren't actually supposed to meet for real until DOA2 but Tina totally ignored him in favor of talking with Naruto's wives about girl power! ….And Maya is finally Naruto's wife. Next chapter we will be saying farewell to the California beaches and be heading back to Japan. See you next time. Blue out. 3/5/16