His people were alive.
He could feel them in his mind, now. There they were, confused chatter giving way to relief before analysis was being made about what had actually occurred. He wondered if they would ever figure it out, if the greatest minds on Gallifrey could figure out that they'd been saved by the most powerful being they would ever see. He wondered if she would explain it to him in more than simple terms.
For now, though, Gallifrey was alive, and healthy, and whole, and that wasn't just enough, it was everything.
Anna shifted and out of reflex of the past few hours (or twelve hours), he tightened his hold on her. He'd promised them everywhere but his still healing mind had required for them to move to a bedroom, so that he could rest and heal. Rose was sleeping peacefully behind him, but Anna had been drifting in and out of a peaceful slumber, tensing and relaxing at intervals.
Her breath hitched in a way that it hadn't done before, and, because of his arm across her chest, he could feel her heart beating more rapidly.
It was obvious she wanted out of his arms, but he was reluctant to allow her that. The moments after he'd obliterated Gallifrey, his telepathic connection with them had been bombarded with their screams. It was a wonder he'd gotten out at all, truth be told, though he knew that had to do with his Tardis (and possibly the Moment itself, considering that had been his punishment: surviving).
Then, everything had gone deathly quiet.
It wasn't just a silence. It was the howling Void of eternity, a lifetime alone and without his people. He'd screamed for a solid week before he'd managed to gather himself up enough to be acceptable, to stand up and do something besides be hit with waves of grief after waves of grief. It was just bad timing that Anna had appeared in that moment, before he'd even changed out of the mass murderers clothing, the man who'd committed genocide against his own people.
She said she'd come to help and it felt like the most absurd thing he'd ever heard in his life. Coupled with the serene smile on her face? It felt like she was just mocking him, with her obvious peace and serenity. He'd lost his whole planet and she wanted to come and help now? The all-powerful being what could've saved his planet and she'd come to help a minute after he'd ended it?
It was like some kind of human horror story twist, that rescue had only been a minute away, only come to discover the humans that had killed themselves moments before they'd arrived.
But, he couldn't just let her run amok. He'd just saved the universe from a War, the War, that would've destroyed them. If an all-powerful being was volunteering to be monitored, to be held accountable, then who was he to send that away?
He'd had to hold off on that, however, for a moment, when he'd gone to change and the waves of grief he'd thought were done crashed over him once more.
He'd been surprised that Anna was still there, in the exact same spot, but he'd showered and changed and gotten a little distance from the idea that Anna's help could only be a bad thing. Maybe he could try to teach her a better way. Maybe that was his purpose.
It had put a new bounce in his step and a less intimidating tone in his attitude.
At least, he'd wanted it to. He'd remembered snapping at her, easily losing patience with her, and although it wasn't without reason, he still felt shame burning his gut at the memory, especially what he knew of her now.
When she'd healed the Tardis, it was like she was healing some part of the chasm in his mind. His oldest friend wasn't suffering anymore.
But, he still was.
Anna'd appeared genuine, wanting to help, even sending him to rescue Rose (which, also knowing what he knew now, made sense in the grand scheme of things. She was just playing out what she'd already seen, even if, as she'd told him, it was already so drastically different).
But, he'd lost everything and something in him gave up the notion of teaching her a better way. She didn't seem to be smiting him down for his attitude or for not listening to her, genuinely wanting to help him, and he didn't want that, didn't want her.
He was thankful that Rose had been there to soften the edges of him, because he'd called Anna back, and then learned the truth about her, about what she'd gone through.
Things had only progressed from there.
Back in the present, Anna was pulling away, and he was still too sensitive to do a thing like let her. Neither of them said anything when she did, and after about thirty seconds, she tested it again, trying to pull away with a little more force.
He clutched onto her tightly.
"Where are you off to?" he asked, quietly enough not to wake Rose.
He knew the small breath she huffed out wasn't meant to be as loud as it was, especially since she stiffened right after, like she hadn't meant to be so loud.
"I've a thing," she quickly said.
He was horrified to realize that she sniffled.
She'd been crying, and although he'd been holding her tightly to his chest, he hadn't even noticed. His mind was eager to correct this; after all, he'd been told the best news he'd ever get, and he wanted others to share in that joy.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Her whole body sagged, and he felt rather than heard the way her chest caught around a sob. He gently pulled her closer, but this time, she was more open about pulling back from him.
"I've to go," she said.
His mind cried out. All he wanted was the physical contact so that he could balance out what was happening, but in the next moment, she'd disappeared completely from his arms.
He gave out a small cry at the loss before Rose stirred.
"'s it?" she asked him.
"It's nothing. Go back to sleep."
Rose didn't question him, simply falling back into a peaceful sleep. He was quick to follow, but no nightmares followed him into sleep.
They were alive and it was more than enough. It was everything.
His hearts just yearned for Anna to be there to celebrate that with him.
/
He wouldn't see Anna again. Not until the hospital where they met a certain agent called Captain Jack Harkness.
The ambulance had fallen onto his and Rose's radar a few days after he'd finally crawled out of bed. They hadn't done much outside of the Tardis, though Rose was happy to keep herself occupied as he healed outside of his friend's arms (even if some small part of him classified her as a little bit more than that, now). Wonder of where Anna had went had washed through his mind, but he hadn't gone out of his way to look for her, not when she'd so obviously wanted space. He felt a brief feeling of guilt flare up in him at his remembrance that she'd been crying before she'd tried to explain something, whatever it was that had led her to saving his people, which she hadn't even properly explained before she'd taken off.
Overall, he was still hazy when he piloted them to the center of London, but he was ever the Doctor (even if he was more upbeat, a new skip in his almost drunken step) as he stepped off the Tardis and into the alleyway.
It had led them here, where Captain Jack Harkness was explaining that he was a conman.
"-and I- well, hello, gorgeous."
The Doctor furrowed his brows before he looked back to see that Anna was standing behind him.
If there was something that looked worse for wear, that was her.
She was still covered in the marks that Van Statten had left behind, though they were fading, now, as injuries tended to on humans. Her hair was disheveled and she looked as though she had been crying, but she hadn't bothered to clean herself up.
"Hey, it's the gang!" she shouted, before she took another swig from her bottle.
"Teleport whilst drunk. Have to say, I'm thoroughly impressed. Not a trick even I've managed to perfect."
He'd crossed the room to her and quickly held out his hand, dipping it to grab hers before he pressed his lips to her knuckles. Apparently, even in Anna's state, she was still a catch (and if the pang of jealousy in his hearts didn't confuse him, then nothing ever would).
"Captain Jack Harkness," he said, not having released her hand. "And a vision such as yourself would be?"
"Captain Jack Harkness!" she said, slapping her hand against his chest in recognition, the one containing the alcohol bottle, though the good Captain barely flinched at the contact.
He recognized her recognition a moment later and felt himself let a sigh loose. How many times had he dealt with this joker, he wondered? And more importantly, how many people had died before he'd managed to stop whatever he'd unleashed?
Harkness, who looked increasingly amused by her antics, just smiled. "That's my name, actually. Generally speaking-"
"You sure about that?"
The Doctor felt surprise run through him when Anna took on the good Captain's visage, his eyes widening at the duplicate standing in front of him.
"Well, hello gorgeous," he said, not even missing a step as he took in his drunken self, appreciative. "Neat tech, haven't seen this in ages. Who're you working for-"
Irritation needled his hearts. "She's with us," he snapped, before he moved over to Anna, who'd changed back to her previous visage. He grabbed her, extracting her from the good captain's embrace, and although he looked slightly put out, he didn't object. He tugged her away from him, watching as she took another swig. "Are you all right?" he asked her. "Where've you-"
"Oh, no, I'm fine," she reassured him. "You're the one who died, remember? And for goddamn what?" she asked, before she took another swig. "Because- because I'm just a selfish-" and here, she used language that was more colorful than a sailors, "-who doesn't take no for an answer, and does whatever the hell I want?"
She turned, heaving the bottle across the way, and all three of them watched as it smashed into the wall.
As he watched the pieces of the bottle crumbling to the ground below, he knew how much more complicated this made this whole thing.
/
He was not wrong.
She had sobered up when they'd gotten to the train tracks, but she was grumbling and complaining of a hangover the entire time. He'd tried to remind her that she could take care of that but she told him, quite impolitely, to go screw himself. When Rose nearly snapped at her, at the end of about four of her own ropes, he reached out and latched onto her arm, barely shaking his head so that only Rose could see. Not that Anna was aware. She was cursing and walking up to Jack, mumbling about how, "The good captain is taking too goddamn long, it's not like he can't just flirt his way out of a paper bag-"
"Anna!" he called after her, annoyance drifting through him. He wished she would just tell him what was wrong instead of acting like a woman scorned.
It didn't get better. The night did, immensely so. He felt like he was riding high, never knowing that he would ever feel like this again, never even imagining that it could be possible. His people had lived and, on this night, everybody had too.
He watched as Anna clung to a confused and concerned Rose, sobbing into her shoulder.
It was good, in a way, because as he released the nanogenes into the air, he resolved to himself that he would get to the bottom of this.
Anna had helped him. It was time someone returned the favor.
Or, it would've been, if she hadn't disappeared just as soon as they made it back to the Tardis.