Falling into the Undead

Chapter Fifteen

All in the name of Survival

I've been so excited to share this chapter with you guys. This one and the next chapter. I really hope you enjoy it. We get to see a different side of survivor remi.

I came to win, to fight

To conquer, to thrive

I came to win, to survive

To prosper, to rise

-fly by Nikki Minaj, Rihanna

As expected, Merle had become more coherent as time passed. The haziness in his eyes began to clear, and he had begun to stare at Remington with dawning realization. She bit her lip and tried to avoid his gaze. Their discussion over her fears of him getting left behind swamped her mind with the realization of what he must be thinking about her. At best he wasn't thinking she was crazy anymore, but what he ended up settling on could be damning for her. After all, there was no way he would settle on the truth by himself.

No one took kindly to people that were different from them.

She worried about how he would react, and if he told the others, how they would. It could all go bad for her, but she didn't regret giving him that warning. The events may have gone differently but he hadn't taken that saw to his hand and she was grateful.

"We should be leaving soon," Glenn said. "Right?" His eyes hadn't stopped darting around since they entered the room. He hovered by the door, peeking out through the glass, as he watched for any signs of the dead.

"We can go soon," Remington said. "If we want any chance of getting out of here safely Merle is going to have to regain some of his strength."

"He's looking better," Morgan observed. "If you ignore the way he's staring at you."

Remington flushed, trying to hide her nerves, as she turned back to check on the man she had been avoiding.

"Don' talk like I can' hear yah," Merle rasped as his gaze followed her movements. She handed him her water bottle, helping him take a swig, noticing the way that he hadn't needed the help this time. "I'm not deaf."

"Are you ready to go?" Morgan said, his eyes narrowing a bit. "We should get back before dark. If you can snark, then you can walk."

"Yah. I ain't a fuckin' pussy. It'll take more than some heat ta knock ole' Merle down."

"Don't rush yourself," Remington said. "It'll do no good for any of us if you pass out halfway to the van." His eyes settled back on her, the glint they had taken when looking at Morgan seemed to soften.

"Now, sweet cheeks, yah know a man like meh can take care of himself. If I say I can go, best believe I can do it."

"Maybe I should check and make sure the area is clear before we head out," Glenn spoke up from his position in front of the door. "Figure out if it's even worth trying to move right now." Remington felt the idea held merit. If there were too many Walkers around then they would have to turn back around, and Merle's energy would be fleeting. She knew he may start to feel better but by the time they started moving it was going to be sucked dry quickly.

"Yah," Merle agreed, surprising Remington. "Take him wit yah. Give meh and sweet cheeks some privacy for a moment."

"I think I'll stay," Morgan said, his voice tightening, as he settled firmly in his seat. Merle turned to scowl, his eyes darkening, but Remington hadn't missed the clear message on his face. He wasn't flirting or trying to get into her pants, all of his attempts were jokingly anyway. She knew he wanted to get her alone, but it had nothing to do with what Morgan was thinking. Merle was just an ass, didn't care what others thought, and always went with the most direct way of getting people to do what he wanted. In this case to make the other two uncomfortable with the notion of him starting anything with her in front of them. It may have worked on Glenn, who had begun to look jumpier than before, but Morgan wasn't as easily dissuaded.

"He doesn't mean it in that way," Remington said, trying to soothe the tension that submerged the room. "He just can't say what's really on his mind. He just wants to talk, and it's probably easier to do it with the two of you gone." Here she sent Merle a wink, knowing he was going to hate what was about to fall from her lips, but she figured it was payback for what he was about to put her through. Any discussion about how she had known what was going to happen to him wouldn't be easy. "Merle Dixon doesn't do emotions easily."

"Ah!" Glenn struggled with feeling amused at her words, and fearful of the heated glare that flooded Merle's face.

"I'm just kidding," Remington said soothingly. She smiled apologetically at Merle. "Your idea is a good one though Glenn, but you shouldn't go by yourself. Not with the possibility of anyone unsavory hanging around. Morgan, can you please go with him?"

The man didn't seem happy with the idea, but he nodded. Both men were out the door moments later and Merle was turning his frown on her.

"What ta fuck was that girlie?" he asked.

"Sorry, it slipped out, but I'm sure this conversation has nothing to do with how you're feeling. I'm not exactly comfortable with what I know you want to talk about."

"Tough shit." He grunted as he sat up, moving against the wall, as he held up a hand to stop her from helping. She froze, hovering over him, waiting for him to get comfortable before settling back down. She was still kneeling in front of him, not sure where to go, or what to say. "We're gonna have this talk."

"What do you want to know, Merle? Say it quick cause I don't want to talk about this around the others."

"Yah knew what those fuckers were gonna do ta meh?"

"I knew that you were going to end up chained to a pipe on a roof, but honestly I hadn't seen those strangers." He narrowed his eyes a bit at her explanation. He could sense that something wasn't being said.

"So, what? Yah see shit?"

"I'm not sure if that's exactly an accurate way of saying it, but essentially, I supposed, yes." After all, she had 'seen' it happen.

"Yah like a psychic or some shit?"

"No." She did not want to be known as the psychic of the group. The thought was horrifying, and she could just see how bad that would go. Everyone would rely on her 'abilities' and anything bad that went wrong would suddenly become her fault, and they would blame her for not stopping it.

With a frustrated sigh, she rubbed at her face as she thought over what it was that needed to be said.

"Look, I'm not sure how to explain this, just know that there are certain things, events, that I just know. Don't ask me how, I just do, and it's just easier if you believe it's just something that I simply know. Trust me enough to just accept that as an answer. I would never let anything happen to you, or Daryl, or hell, anyone else in camp on purpose. It's crazy regardless of how you look at it, and obviously knowing something isn't very helpful, I mean look at what happened to you, but at least something changed about it."

She was rambling, not sure exactly what she should be saying, and floundering for words of any kind. She missed the way he seemed to soften again before that hard exterior rose back up.

"Yah mean mah hand."

"Yes."

"I shouldn' have it."

"No."

An unreadable expression settled over his face after Remington said this, and she allowed herself to roll back on her heels, before plopping down so he could think it all over. It was asking a lot. To blindly trust her like that. To not ask any more questions. Especially with what she was about to request next.

"All I want to do is keep everyone safe as best as I can manage." She paused here to chuckle. "If you haven't already noticed I got a bit of a control issue, and it only gets worse when it comes to people, I care about. There are going to be things in the future that I say won't make much sense, a request I may ask for, or an action that I think will be for the best, that I'll do for the safety of those around us. Not everyone is going to believe me when I say it's for the best, or just have this gut feeling to do the opposite of what everyone else does, but can you just trust me to know that it could be lifesaving?" She took a deep breath here. "I could really use someone who's going to be in my corner for situations like that."

After she went silent Merle continued to stare at her. She felt like a bug that was being dissected. He didn't look angry. He didn't even look like she had lost her marbles, and that he wanted to get away from her, but she suspected if you were in a room by yourself with a crazy person you wouldn't let this be known.

"That little girl of yers mentioned something ta meh." His gaze, which had fallen to his hand, rose back up to meet her stare. "Told meh that she remembered meh without a hand. Crazy in't it. Yah two got something going on with yah then."

Remington closed her eyes, wishing that Maisie hadn't said a thing, as now she would be needing to have another talk with the girl about things best kept to herself. There would be slip-ups, she was four, but she did not need people looking at Maisie differently.

"I'd prefer if you kept that to yourself."

"Don't yah worry yer pretty little head," Merle said, waving his hand in a shooing motion at her. "I ain't saying shit about nuttin when it comes ta that girl, or yerself. Yer under Dixon protection now, fuck the others. Nuttin of this makes any sense, but damn if yah hadn't warned meh. I'll help yah out." It went unspoken on how he considered this a life debt. He could have easily died, and Merle Dixon did not take kindly to owing anyone, anything. So, he'd look after her and the rug rats. It helped that he already liked them all.

Remington deflated, feeling relieved, as she slumped forward. Merle was just going to accept her words, he wouldn't say anything to the others, and wouldn't start to ignore her. She felt like laughing but settled on letting a smile cover her face instead. She may not ever tell Merle the complete story of how she knew this stuff, but it was a weight off her shoulders to know that she had someone she could bring this up to. Someone who would listen, and if needed would help her execute any of her plans.

A familiar teasing wiggled its way in as she raised her head to look at him.

"I wasn't under your protection before?" She quietly laughed. "Is there some kind of upgrade? Cause I could have sworn you had already taken us under your wing like a mother duck."

"Fuck off," he grunted, flipping her off.

․° °․

The trek to the van was long, and it had started to take its toll on Merle. They had made decent time in the beginning. The Walkers had mostly cleared out and clumped together further down the street in the opposite direction that they were going, but luck hadn't held out. Merle had started to grow winded a few blocks from where they stashed the vehicle and that itch under Remington's skin started back up. It was like a warning bell that rang to watch out for danger. It felt as if someone was watching her.

Remington had slowed down, just slightly, lagging a bit behind the others. Merle was the closest to her, she could see how the sweat clung to his skin, and how he had grown pale during their trek. He was losing steam fast with the way he pushed himself, but they were close, and that uneasy sensation was telling her not to voice aloud her concerns for him. She would feel better once they made it back to camp, but until then she was going to take all precautions possible. Glancing around she caught the shine of the sun glinting off metal. Her eyes narrowed, as her body tensed, and she was diving for Merle just as the shot rang out.

The bullet missed her by an inch.

Morgan and Glenn quickly dove for cover in the alley next to them. Remington dug her nails into Merle's arm as she yanked him up and began to tug him toward a car for cover. They pressed their backs against the hot metal as Remington shifted to get a look at where the shot had come from. Her heart was pounding in her chest. The noise faded, leaving a ringing rushing through her ears, as she tried forcing her mind to come up with something, anything, to get them out of this.

A moment with her brother fluttered through her disorganized thoughts. She took a deep breath, flinching when another shot rang out, as she forced the thoughts into an organized line. She needed to stay focused. Walkers would be coming soon, and she doubted those shooting at them would help out by taking any of the threats out.

'One of the things I learned when under fire was to keep my mind blank, only allowing what was needed to filter through, until after the threat was gone.'

Her hands shook but she slid closer to the ground, turning toward where Merle had turned an ashen color. His face was pinched with exhaustion. His body was shaking, holding the gun, and looked as if a strong breeze would blow him over. This was not the Merle Dixon that Remington had gotten to know. His fast pace had caught up with him, and the heat of the air, the way the sun was still bearing down on them, was only sapping what little energy he had left out of him.

"Merle," she whispered. "Give me your gun." The Winchester he held wasn't her first option, she wished she had the gun her brother owned, but it would do just fine. She hadn't shot anything like this in a few years, but her brother had always told her it was in the muscle memory, not what her head thought it remembered.

"Whut?"

"Hurry, and give it to me," she hissed. "We don't know how long it'll take for the Walkers to get here, or if there are others that are closing in."

He hesitated for a moment, before handing over the gun, as she gave him the small one, she owned. It wasn't much, but it would take out a Walker, or someone in close range, and would be easier for him to use with the broken thumb. Hopefully, it didn't come to that.

Remington glanced over to where she could see Glenn peaking around the corner of the alley. Another shot rang out. Barely missing him and taking a chunk out of the brick. She motioned for them to stay hidden as she shuffled over. The tip of the gun rested against the hood of the car. She was quick to find the man she had spotted through the scope. He was focused on the alley, not on her, and she took the chance.

'Aim. Get your target in your sight. Take a breath. And release." Her brother's words swam forward as she allowed herself to fall into a routine that had been drilled into her by him. 'Don't tense, and never let him out of your sight until you know for sure you took care of him.'

The shot sang through the air, not from the enemy, but from her own gun. She heard the faint sound of a yell. She had only clipped his shoulder, has seen it through her scope and knew that she had to make sure to hit him this time. Her hands quickly went through the motion of loading the gun with her next shot. Her breathing was even, her mind blank, only her next step taking over as she aimed once again. He was struggling to lift the gun but was just as determined to take her out before she could do it to him.

Remington didn't allow the thought of taking a human's life to conquer her thoughts. She didn't allow a single thought on the subject to float through as her second shot rang out. She ignored the way her stomach curdled at the sight of blood, and the body dropping. She was on her feet in the next instant, grabbing at Merle, still running on one task at a time. Later, later she could break down at the thought of what she had just done.

Calling out for Morgan and Glenn, she saw the first couple of Walkers flowing free from another alley behind them. There was a few lumbering toward them from the other direction. The two men were quick to join them as Morgan and Glenn took over the task of dragging Merle along with them. The man did his best to keep himself upright, cursing up a storm as they ran down the road. Her eyes locked onto the targets in front of her, and on autopilot, her machete was slicing through their heads in the next moment. Blood splattered across her shirt, but she ignored it, focused only on getting them out of the area before someone from the other group caught up to them. The fear over the situation was driven from her veins as they turned the corner. She couldn't waste her time feeling it. To freeze up meant death.

As they rounded the corner Remington heard the click of a gun and felt the cool metal pressed up against the side of her head as she suddenly came to a stumbling stop. Behind her, the three men were quick to freeze as they watched two strangers come out of the shadows.

"Fuck, it's the bitch that shot our friend," the man holding the gun said. "What do you think we should do to her?"

"Shoot the others," the second man said carelessly. "Bring her with. She should be taught a lesson before we take care of her."

"Your friend shot at us first," Glenn said, his voice shaking. "It was self-defense."

"Naw you're right," the gunman said. "But you see, the world has changed, there's a new order. The three of you are going to die and this girl here is gonna come with us. Should have just gone down as we decided for you."

"Git that fucking gun outta her face," Merle snarled, tipping forward, only to have Morgan yank him back. The stranger seemed to smile at the action, finding humor in what was happening, as he shifted his weight.

"Ah, see now I remember you," he said. "The loudmouth that we chained to the pipe. This your piece then? The one you got all bothered about." His smile grew wider at the pissed look on Merle's face. "You see, that makes me really want to keep her around for a while."

Any fear she would have felt at the mention of his plans passed over her as Remington focused on the task of survival.

'If you come to a point where you are held at gunpoint never allow them to get what they want.' Her brother's voice filled her mind once more, telling her what to do, and guiding her as his lessons came back to her. 'No matter what they say if you go along with their demands in the end you lose.'

She was stiff. Remington hadn't moved an inch since they started speaking. The second man was smiling widely at her. It looked like it hurt, how wide the grin was, as he thought about what he wanted to do.

'Wait until they shift. For one second, they are going to be off balance. You strike then.'

She remembered how it felt when her brother held the gun to her head, no bullets inside, as they were just training, but it still had sent a shiver up her spine. The motions she had to go through were hazy in her mind, but her body remembered the movements with ease.

Don't think.

Think about the repercussions and you lose.

Don't think.

Just do.

Her brother may have been paranoid beyond a doubt, but his lessons were coming in handy, then, and now.

She listened as the gunman chuckled. She felt the way the gun shifted closer toward her eye. She allowed the momentum on his end to follow through, as her body reacted without thought. Forcing her eyes to stay open, she needed to be able to see and hoped to God that this worked, cause if it didn't, she was done for.

It only took one bullet to end everything.

She pulled back, moving in a straight line in the opposite direction of where the gun had been going. She stayed close and didn't try to move away, as her hand came up, covering the man's hands, as she twisted.

The sound of a gun going off, as close as it was to her ears, caused a ringing to start up, taking over everything else, but she moved through it.

'Keep me in your sights. Once my grip is loose pull the gun to you, don't let it go. Shift it in your hand, and pull the trigger, don't hesitate, just do. You won't survive if you hesitate.'

His lessons had seemed overkill at the time. If this had been a normal attacker, in the everyday world, she wouldn't have been able to stomach killing anyone, but this stranger had been right. This was a new world. It held new rules. It was killed, or be killed, sometimes. It caused a new round of queasiness to hit her stomach, but she forced any extra thoughts back away from her mind. All she needed to do right now was focus on survival.

Her brother had been in the special forces, he had taught her the rules he had lived by, and though she never thought she would ever put those lessons into action she was now glad to have followed along with his teachings.

She yanked, ignoring the way her body wanted to shake at having been so close to a bullet firing, and pulled the trigger. The man had been standing right in front of her. He had moved to grab at the gun and had almost been successful, but she had been just a second faster. She had used his moment of laughter to take the upper hand.

The gun fired.

Blood blossomed under his white shirt. Spanning out, dying the clothing red, as it spread slowly from the wound in his chest. His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open, as an oh caught on his lips. He stumbled back before dropping to the ground.

The other man hollered out in shock and anger. He rounded on her, his gun raising, but a guttural groan filled the alley, announcing that they had company. He cursed under his breath, aimed his gun at Remington anyway, and moved to fire, but a body crashed into his side. Merle had rocketed forward, without help from the others, as he breathed heavily, and knocked the man to the ground. He raised his fist before pounding them into the face of her would-be attacker.

Behind them, she could hear the gunshots as Glenn and Morgan began to shoot at the Walkers closing in. They had attracted quite a bit of trouble for themselves with all the noise sounding around them.

Remington shoved the new gun into the waist of her jeans as she grabbed at Merle. He froze as she grasped his arm. Hesitating he made to punch the man one last time, spitting on him, before cursing, as he allowed her to help him up. The adrenaline pumping through his veins permitted him to ignore the exhaustion that had been creeping up on him.

"We need to go," Remington said. She began to edge toward the opposite end of the alley, hoping that nothing was on the other side to greet them, as Glenn and Morgan followed after them. "We're not far from the van. We need to make a run for it."

"There were others," Glenn yelled. "Those three weren't the only ones in the group from before."

"Let's just try to avoid them," she said. "Hopefully, they are too busy dealing with Walkers of their own to follow after us. We should take the longer route back to camp just to be on the safe side."

They took off down the road. Glenn helped her hold Merle up and they mostly ignored the Walkers wandering after them as they ran. If one got too close Morgan dealt with them efficiently before moving on. Her breathing was becoming jagged and uneven as a stitch grew in her side, but she focused on keeping her breathing even. One foot in front of the other. She focused on the feel of it. Ignored the way her body wanted to just drop and not get back up. She could do that once they made it back to the van.

She focused on one task at a time. Reminded herself over and over.

When the garage came into sight, she let out a relieved breath. Luck seemed to be on their side. The coast was clear of Walkers or men with guns. She wasted no time shoving Merle into the passenger seat as she and Glenn hopped into the back.

With Morgan in the driver's seat, the van rumbled to life, and they hightailed it out of there.

She fell backward, laying on the floor of the van, as her breathing ran ragged, coming in short gasps of desperation. Besides her, Glenn wasn't any better off. Merle was doing better, or at least he was pretending to be. He was slumped in his seat, looking like death, but she couldn't hear the gasps like she could from herself.

They had gotten away.

They were safe.

As they drove on, breaking free from the city, and as she felt her heartbeat calm down Remington was reminded of a question, she had asked her brother.

'How do you live with the results of your actions?'

He had paused. Carefully evaluating his answer. He had always given thought to her questions.

'I don't. Some of the things I have done can't be forgiven, but I've learned to live with them. In the end, I survived, and they didn't. I did what I had to. What I was ordered to do. The fact that I get to live and come home to see my family was enough.'

Remington thought she understood her brother a little better at that moment. There had always been a little bit of a gap between them, in age, and maturity since her parents had her so late in life, but at that moment, as she stared up at the ceiling of the van, she felt closer to him than ever.

It would seem that he was still saving her, even now.

What did you guys think?

So, she hasn't revealed everything to Merle but that will happen eventually. She's working her way to revealing things a little at a time.