Rikku: Me again, hope you're not annoyed. ;) I'm glad you all liked the long chapter- I think it just about makes up for the long wait. Heh heh...
I hope you don't mind me shortening the 'thank-yous' to just the names of the the people that reviewed- I find it a lot easier. And hey, I mean, you guys don't need all those words- you know I'm eternally grateful anyway. :D
So, here are the people I need to thank:
Nakashima-Michiyo
sakura-star69 (Kura-chan)
Hannah Kyouyama
shaman7
Sentra
mappie
Please read if you are worried about the Horo/Miho/Kamui situation.
Everyone's worried that Miho's going to end up with Kamui, but she's not. The pairing is Horo/Miho and it'll stay that way- so have no fear! XD So, don't mind their moments... they're just needed to spruce things up and add interest.
Rikku: Anywho, here's another chapter for you guys. It's not exactly long, and I'm sorry, but anyway, enjoy!
Winter of Love
Chapter 16: Waiting...
"This is it!"
"It's what you've been waiting for!"
"Go get 'em girl!"
"Knock them off their feet!"
"Heh... I wish..." I mumbled. Taking a deep breath, I trained my focus harder of the large wooden doors. "I can't do this..."
"You're not getting cold feet, are you?" Yuki asked, she patted my back reassuringly.
I clutched the beautiful bouquet of white, pink and purple flowers tightly in my hands. 'Of course I have cold feet! Damnit, I can't do this! I can't, I can't, I can't!' "Of course not." I smiled. "I'm just a bit scared."
Ayumi sighed. "I was too on my wedding day." She cocked her head up. "But of course, I got over that."
I had almost forgotten Ayumi was a grown woman. She was... what, 27? It was hard to tell with that childish attitude of hers, same went for Yoshiko as well. My eyes followed Ayumi's hand as she brushed a few strands of hair away from her eyes and returned it to her side. Her gold wedding ring shone brightly. My eyes fell upon the ring Kamui had given me. It was silver with a beautiful blue diamond attached to it. Of course, I hadn't let him put it on me. In fact, if my father weren't there I wouldn't have taken it and put it on myself. "Where's Yoshiko?" I asked.
"She's getting ready." Yuki answered, running her fingers through her unnatural blond hair. Yuki struck me as an up-beat, go-lucky gal that didn't give a care in the world. Of course, she did tend to tense up when pressure began building, but she was still the type to simply lay back. She was also incredibly hyper.
Strange... I knew all this about Yuki and Ayumi after only 5 or 6 hours with them.
Everyone was already piled up in the church- including Kamui and his father. My father, however, was taking awhile to get there as Yuki, Ayumi and I awaited his arrival in order to walk me down the aisle. "Shouldn't you guys be in there?" I questioned, referring to the church.
Ayumi shrugged. "Nah... we'd rather stay here... you know, in case you decide to run away." she joked.
"Now why would I do that?" I inquired, a slight hint of sarcasm in my tone.
Yuki pulled on her strapless blue bridesmaid dress. "This is tight!" she whined.
Ayumi wore the same dress- as did all the other bridesmaids, of course. "Mine isn't- and they're all the same size. You sure you haven't been packing on any pounds Yuki?"
Yuki pouted. "Iie! (No!) That's not funny."
"Honto? (Really?)" Ayumi grinned. "I thought it was."
"Take that back!"
"No!"
"Kekkon shiki (wedding) here!" I cleared my throat loudly. "D'you guys forget?"
Yuki flushed a noticeable pink. "Gomen nasai! (I'm sorry!)"
"Ahem."
The three of us swirled around to see Akira standing behind us in a black tux. He gestured for Ayumi and Yuki to leave.
"Good luck!" Ayumi whispered as she followed Yuki into the church.
I sighed when the doors closed after them. I was alone with my father.
How was I going to pull this off?
How in God's name was I going to go through this?
I didn't have anybody to hang on to.
No one's shoulder...
No kind of support what so ever.
I glanced at my father with pain written all over my face.
How could he live with himself?
He thought he could still be the father... my dad...
"Betrayal has such a bitter taste,
And to escape the pain, make no haste.
The day seems to move so slowly...
To turn your heart so cold and lonely.
The same question keeps climbing back in...
To attack your mind with full force within.
How could one face the one they've shattered...
In hopes to be welcomed back as if it never mattered?
Why do the words creep in with such greed?
As if to punish you and then leave you to bleed?
Why does it hurt so much to live?
When you've already given all there is to give?"
"You ready?"
"If you mean 'ready to greet the worse', then..." I casted my eyes heavenward, silently praying. "...yeah."
"It'll be okay." Akira walked over to my side. "You look beautiful by the way."
I half-heartedly wanted to tell him to 'fuck off', but the other half told me to just accept the compliment. "Thanks."
"You're getting married," Akira grinned. "can you believe it?"
"You make it sound as if I wanted this."
"You'll thank me later."
I folded my arms tightly across my chest. I wanted to run. I wanted to leave and never look back. To escape this nightmare.
But then I thought of Horo.
'He's going to help me out,' I reassured myself. 'Don't turn back, because he's coming.'
"Kamui's happy."
Akira's words were going in through one ear and out the other. He didn't know how much it was hurting me to hear his voice however. I wanted to tell him to 'shut up'... to tell him, Kamui, Seiji and every single person in that church to 'shut up'.
I felt...
Chiisai... (small)
Samui... (cold)
Hitori de... (alone)
But most of all... scared.
The music from within the church met with my ears softly. Time to go in.
The doors swung open. I sighed heavily and blinked hard to try and suck back the oncoming tears. My father offered his arm and I linked mine with it after a moment of hesitation. The whole church had it's eyes on me and I didn't even know half the people there. They were all my father's friends... Kamui's too... his family as well. Kamui stood upfront with a handsome smile and a taller boy in a similar tuxedo stood behind of him. His best man, no doubt. Yuki, Ayumi and Yoshiko stood among a flock of other girls in the same exact dresses. The scenary was beautiful- minus a whole handful of people. The flowers were arranged beautifully and the guests were dressed so nicely.
Still...
The shrine felt a lot more like home. Sure, the flowers might have been dead, and yeah, maybe everyone didn't look so fancy- but who cared anyway? It was the first actually place that felt like home to me... I could never feel welcomed in any other household...
Same went for Horo...
I could never feel as safe, secure nor warm in anyone else's arms except for his...
"You can't keep on walking away...
Though the path looks clear, there's nowhere to stay.
You can't continue to go on in life..
If a promise is only another lie.
If you can't reach the stars above...
Then don't expect someone with an open love.
If you can't complete a life's journey,
Then why start another in such a hurry?
If you're falling down without a rope...
Then keep on falling, there is no hope.
If your mind's already set on one goal...
Don't make an effort, your heart can't always console."
I lowered my head so that I faced the roll of carpet as I wept silently. I felt my tears escape my eyes and flow uncontrollably to the carpet below. I needed Horo... he was my rock and I couldn't stand without him.
I felt Akira nudge me to walk and I did so, still not pulling my eyes away from the carpet. Lost in my thoughts, I still kept on walking, avoiding everyone else's gazes. They weren't family... nor friends... just complete strangers.
When I finally reached the front, I felt Akira's arm leave mine. I knew Kamui was watching me so I hastily wiped my tears away. I looked up only to see Kamui frowning. He looked worried.
"What's wrong?" he whispered, loud enough for only my ears.
I tried to smile. To tell him it was okay. I quirked my lips into a soft smile, an effort to reassure him. He still didn't look certain but he seemed to have shrugged it off as he returned my smile with one of his own.
One so breath-taking.
I felt my cheeks burn hot again. I made an attempt to avoid his eyes as the priest between us began talking. I could barely hear him over the whispers of the crowd.
"Aww! She's crying! How sweet, she must be so thrilled!"
"Kamui looks great!"
"Miho looks good, don't ya think?"
"What a cute couple! They must be so much in love!"
"Why'd you make me come!? I don't want to be here! I was supposed to marry Kamui before!"
'Tough luck...' I thought, biting my bottom lip. '...bitch.' I returned my eyes to Kamui who seemed to be watching the priest impatiently. 'Wait... what was I thinking? ...Kamui's not mine to claim... as far as I'm concerned... I'd be glad if that bitch took him... why do I keep calling the bitch a bitch anyway?'
I seemed to be lost in thought again- I could tell by the way Kamui was frowning again. He seemed to be giving me one of those, 'Are you okay?' looks. I sighed. Pity... such a waste. "I'm okay..." I whispered, half of me wondering why I was telling him this in the first place. Kamui knew I hated his guts and that I'd rather be with Horo than him... why did he seem so certain that I should have been happy?
I turned my head to see Yuki giving me the 'thumbs up' sign and Ayumi smiling like there was no tomorrow. Yoshiko was frowning however- she knew the whole ordeal... she understood my hate. It was that hate that told me to run... to drop it all and leave Kamui at the altar.
'No... Horo's coming, I can't run now...'
'Run.' another voice was telling me inside. 'Run, you don't need Kamui, you don't need any of them. Run back to Horo, how can you be sure he's coming anyway? Better to go to him before it's too late.'
'But I trust him... if I wait he'll come- I know it.'
'You're only saying that because you don't want to leave Kamui.'
My eyes locked with Kamui's immediately. Was it true? Was I waiting for Horo... or doing this for him?
'No... Kamui's not important to me. Horo is... and that's why I need to trust him.'
'But he didn't trust you when it came to that brush in with Ren.'
That... that had been the last problem on my mind ever since I came to Osaka. 'He explained that... he wasn't sure back then, but after... he told me he did trust me... I believed him... and that's why I have to wait... because I believe he'll turn up when I need him most... just like how he always does.'
"Do you, Kamui, take Miho as your lawfully wedded wife?"
It was that moment that I snapped back to reality...
Kamui smiled at me with the same heart-melting smile as before. "I do."
I could faintly hear the girl from the 'audience' cry out, "Nnnnoooooo!!!!"
"And do you, Miho, take Kamui as your lawfully wedded husband?"
Kamui gave me an encouraging smile, one that was different from the last one. One I didn't seem to trust.
"I..."
"And how can you be so sure it's real?
How can you trust the way you feel?
If loneliness is at its peek...
If your heart's really drowning so deep...
If your fears have come to haunt your dreams...
How can you really tell what it all means?
And why does darkness need to reign over all?
If light can come back from its fall?
And why do you need to weep so much?
If one can heal you with just a touch?
And why do you always need to frown?
When there's someone that loves you around?
And if one chance is all it takes...
Then why repeat old mistakes?
If you can always look past the pain...
Then why not push away any hurt you gain?
If life's got more than one story...
Then why not sit to hear the glory?
If you can trust the voice within...
Then hold on tight, there's a chance to win.
And if you can really believe...
Then fall in love, he might not leave."
"I..."
What was my answer?
I felt cornered then...
Unable to speak the truth...
I turned to look at Akira... his glare set a warning.
"I..."
What was I supposed to do?
I turned to see Yuki and Ayumi gaping, and Seiji worrying his bottom lip...
I couldn't...
Horo was coming... I knew for sure.
Kamui suddenly took my hand in his, I turned to him in mild shock. What was he...?
It was then that I realised the desperation in his eyes... he really did love me, didn't he?
"Miho... answer." he spoke.
I felt tears fall from my eyes again... "I..."
My heart jumped at the next thing that happened. I had been watching Kamui intensely and vice versa when the door crashed open loudly... everyone jumped in their seat and I felt a smile return to my face...
"Not so fast."
Rikku: Heh heh... another cliffy. :P
I wrote this chapter in less than a day because my fingers were dying to tap those faithful little buttons on my keyboard... :)
I hope you didn't mind the poem in between, I wrote it on my own, therefore I do NOT need to disclaim it. I'm actually surprised... that's one of my best work! :D I hope you all liked it!
And it seems the wedding is put to a hault... what will happen? Who the hell knows? (Well... actually I do... heh heh.) Just stay tuned for the next chapter to find out- and sorry it wasn't as long as the other one!
Please review!!
Dewa Mata!
x-Rikku-x