"Hello, hello, hello!" Nicholas Bennett shouted as he boisterously entered the Bartlet household.
"Hi, everybody!" Joanne Bennett chimed in.
"Daddy!" Abbey immediately fell into Daddy's girl mode as she always did in her father's presence.
"Hi, cookie!"
He threw his arms aruond her. When he released her, he gave her the once-over.
"Look at you, lovey! Look at you!"
She rolled her eyes.
"Daddy."
He glanced over at his son-in-law.
"Nice work, Jed! You knocked my daughter up good!"
"Dad!"
"Nick!" Joanne said through fits of laughter.
"What?" Nick said, feigning innocence.
"God, Dad, could you be any cruder?" Michelle accused.
"Hello to you too, Chelly."
"Come here, darling," Joanne said to Abbey, hugging her.
"Hi, Nan."
"How are you, sugar?"
"I'm great, how are you?"
"Oh, fine, fine."
Nick and Joanne walked over to their grandchildren, who were still sitting quietly on the couch.
"Hi, Birthday Girl!" Nick said to Ellie, giving her a kiss on the forehead.
"Hi, Pop. Hi, Nan."
"Pop!" Zoey cried.
"Hey, darlin'."
"Zoey, you are getting so big!" Joanne exclaimed. "Isn't she getting big, Nick?"
"She certainly is! What grade are you in now, sweetheart? Twelfth?"
"No!"
"College!"
"Nooo!"
"Tenth grade then?"
"No, Pop!" Zoey giggled.
"Sixth?"
"Pop! I'm in FIRST grade!"
"Ohhh, FIRST grade. That's right!"
"You're silly, Pop."
"But you love me."
Zoey nodded enthusiastically.
"Good girl."
He turned to his eldest granddaughter.
"Elizabeth Adele."
"Pop."
"Looks like someone did a good job knocking you up as well, hmm?"
"Dad, leave her alone," Abbey admonished.
But Liz was smiling. Seeing this, Nick leaned in and whispered, "Give me his address and I'll whoop his butt for ya."
Liz laughed.
"Please do!"
"Elizabeth, do not encourage him."
The door opened yet again, and they all watched the Griffiths walk in.
"Why, if it isn't the Drs. Griffith," Nick said, referring to Scott, the psychologist, and Millie, the medical doctor.
Millicent Griffith approached him slowly. She had been best friend's with Nick's middle daughter since they were in kindgarten. As Millie's father had died when she was ten, Nick became a sort of surrogate father to her.
"Counselor."
"Daddy, leave Millie alone," Abbey said, exhasperated. Sometimes her father was just like one of her children.
Millie smiled, gave Nick a peck on the cheek, then went over to hug her best friend.
"Hey, Abs."
"Hi, honey."
"You're huge!"
"How kind of you to say, Millicent."
"Where is that husband of yours?"
Abbey cocked her head to the side in Jed's direction.
"Jed."
"Hey, Mil," he said, hugging her.
"Scott!"
"Abbey."
"You look great."
"You look pregnant."
Abbey laughed.
"You always did have quite a way with words."
"That's what Millie tells me!"
They were all so preoccupied by the arrival of the Griffiths that nobody noticed when a bickering couple passed through the doorway. Only when they heard Andre Meluard's French accent, a sound still foreign to their untrained ears, did they turn their heads.
"No one's asking you to support or agree with the United States government, Andre, but you're not going to disrespect it. At least not in front of me."
"I am only saying zat, some ov zee processes zis government practices are very, very...how do you say...ridiculouze?"
"Yeah, they're ridiculous. The entire electoral process is ridiculous, but it is what it is, and you can't change it."
"Why not? Zat iss zee point ov a democracy, no?"
"Damnit, Andre! That's not how it works!"
"Zat does not mean, Julia, zat..."
"Andre, we have been over this a thousand times!"
"JuJuFruit, Louis," Nick said, bringing them back to reality.
"Dad, his name is Andre and you know it," Julia replied.
"Andre, Louis, same damn thing."
"And don't call me JuJuFruit. I'm not five anymore. Where's my sister?"
Michelle raised her hand tentatively.
"Not you, ya dorkwad. I saw you this morning. Abbey."
Abbey stepped up from behind Millie and Scott.
"Dorkwad?"
"There she is. Hi, sweetie," Julia said, hugging her younger sister.
"Hi, JuJuFruit," Abbey answered, wryly.
"Very funny. Where's my goddaughter?"
"Over here," Liz called.
"Ah. My Lizzie. How are you, dearest?"
"Well, I have a headache."
"Good. Rightly so, what with these crazy people surrounding you. Eleanor."
"Hi, Auntie Julia."
"I travel hundreds of miles with a pestering foreignor and all I get is 'Hi, Auntie Julia'?"
"Hey!" Andre protested.
Ellie smiled and hugged her aunt.
"Happy birthday, honey."
"Not my birthday yet."
"Shush. Zoey."
Zoey wrinkled her nose.
"Hi, Auntie JuJuFruit!"
Julia gasped.
"Abigail, you have corrupted your own child!"
"Mommy didn't do it, Pop did!"
"Dad!"
Nick shrugged.
"Constantly persecuted by my own family. Unbelievable."
Jed leaned over and whispered to her, "I hear ya, Jul. I hear ya."
She put her hand on his shoulder and smiled sympathetically at her brother-in-law.
"It's not the same, Jed," she said, softly.
"I know."
"Hang in there."
"Yeah. Thanks."
They heard car tires screech before coming to a halt on the road outside.
"Well. That must be Johnny," Abbey said.
From outside, they could hear a woman's piercing voice shouting violently.
"And that must be Martina," Jed said.
Then they heard a child's voice whining and complaining.
"And that's Jason," Catherine said, sadly.
"Excuse me for a minute," Abbey said, slipping away from the crowd and out the door.
Johnny, Martina, and 10-year-old Jason Bartlet were walking up the driveway towards the house.
"Hey!" Abbey called.
"Were we that loud?" Johnny asked.
"Yeah, ya were. Listen, Johnny, can I talk to you real quick?"
"Uh...yeah, sure, Abs. Jason, Marti, why don't you head on in?"
Jason and Martina complied without question. With one hand on her back, Johnny guided his sister-in-law away from the house.
"What's going on?" He questioned, concerned.
"Um. Well, your parents are here."
"Yeah, what did they do? Or rather, what did Dad do?"
"Nothing- yet. I just...Jed's on edge already. He thinks it's going to be worse with you here and..." Abbey explained.
"You want me to go?"
"No! No, John, of course not. I just want you to be...extra aware of your surroundings this weekend. It's Ellie's birthday, she's very sensitive and..."
"Don't worry about a thing, Abbey. I'll keep an eye on Jed, and I'll be civil with Dad. Everything will be ok," Johnny assured her.
"Oh, thank you. Normally, I'd be on Jed Patrol with this, but I just don't think I can handle it this time. I can't even keep my hormones under control, nevertheless my husband."
"I know. It's ok. There's something else, isn't there?"
Abbey shook her head.
"Abbey, what else is going on?"
"Nothing, there's just...been a lot of talk about Michael lately. And now with the whole family here...it's like something's missing. He's missing."
"So in addition to the rest, your mind is elsewhere."
"Yes."
"And on a very sensitive subject."
"Yes."
"Anything else I need to know before we kick off the weekend?" Johnny asked.
"Well..."
"What?"
She smiled at his obvious concern.
"I've been having...spells of fatigue lately."
"At random?"
"Yeah."
"Is something wrong with the baby, Abbey?"
"No, no. It's just, you know, being pregnant at my age..."
"You're not old."
"I'm older than most."
"All right, I'll grant you that. But you're ok, right?"
"Yeah, fine."
"Good. So has Dad started on Liz yet?" Johnny wondered.
"No. You think he will?"
"The man was a headmaster for over forty years. You think he condones teenage pregnancy? And she's his granddaughter, Abbey. I bet he's been in denial since he found out and now that he's actually seeing her...I doubt it'll be pretty anyway."
"Great. Something else to look forward to."
He laughed and with his arm around her shoulders, they walked back to the house.
"So. What else is new?"
"Well, my husband is confused about his job, my oldest daughter is pregnant, my middle daughter just wants to have a normal family, my youngest daughter can't read, and my boss more or less thinks I'm incompetent. Need more?"
"If you've got it."
"Oh, I've got it. My little sister is a desperate housewife; my big sister, the Cynic, literally does not speak the same language as her husband; my dad is a completely insane, unconventional lawyer who, for reasons I can't begin to comprehend, seems to win every case he takes on; and my step-mom is a frustrated feminist who is still trying to win our approval after more than twenty years, and brings Roe vs. Wade into every conversation. Oh, and my mother died of cancer when I was seventeen and ten years later, my brother lost his mind and killed himself. How does that grab ya?"
"Wow, Abbey," Johnny said. "Too bad you can't drink because I really feel like I should be buying you a beer right now."
"Speaking of beer- my husband's best friend is an alcoholic and goes to AA meetings because his wife made him sign a contract!"
"These are all other people, Abbey."
"Yeah, but they're people in my life."
"They're not you. Just worry about you. They can all take care of themselves. Remember that," Johnny advised her.
Abbey sighed.
"Sometimes I feel like it all falls on me, ya know?"
"I know. That's because you're enviably strong, and you're very maternal. You feel like you need tot ake care of everyone and you don't."
"What are you, a psychologist now? I feel like I'm talking to Scott."
"Maybe you should, Abs."
"Should what?"
"Talk to Scott."
"Are you kidding me! I don't need to see a shrink!" She paused. "Do I?"
He laughed.
"Nah, I'm just playing with ya, kid."
"You know, I really appreciate this, Johnny."
"Appreciate what?"
"You listening to me. Sometimes I really feel like I can't talk to anyone."
"What about Jed?"
"Yeah. I mean, he's a great listener. I really lucked out with him. But lately I feel like all we talk about is family and sex," Abbey said.
"That's all you're talking to me about too. Well, minus the sex."
"That's because you ARE family, Johnny."
"Look, Abbey, I'm gonna be frank with you. And only because I've always considered you to be the sister I never had. Right now, you're in complaining mode. That's all well and good for the time being. Everyone has the righto vent. But, while in complaining mode, many people have a tendency to create problems where none exist. I don't want you to start doing this with your marriage."
"Yeah. You're right. My marriage IS great. It's one of the things I'm most proud of in my life. Sometimes I think I take that for granted."
"Most people do."
"Ok. Let's get inside before people start talking," Abbey said.
"Or before Jed storms out here in a jealous rage. Remember that?"
"Oh, my God."
"When you two were dating, you and I were sitting in my tree house talking when Jed walkedi n and threatened to beat me up if I didn't leave."
"Yeah. He's a pretty jealous guy. I don't know where on earth he gets it. It's so out of character for him."
"He gets it from our father. Mom couldn't speak to another man, even at church, without him getting all riled up," Johnny said.
"Really? That doesn't sound like your father at all."
"Why, because he treats Mom like crap?"
"Well...yeah."
"I don't know. I guess it's a territorial thing. Very animalistic."
"I'll say."
By this point, they had reached the front door of the house.
"Ready?" Johnny asked.
Abbey nodded.
"Ok. In we go."