"You can slip away with Michelle if it'll make you feel better."
"Won't make Dallas feel better."
"Then this is just a lose-lose situation, isn't it?" Abbey said.
"What were you two talking about?"
"You."
"What!"
Abbey laughed evily.
"You'll never really know, will you, darling?"
"Abbey!"
"Now. We have guests to entertain."
"Abigail."
"Guests, Jed."
"Lies, Abbey."
"No one is lying to you, Josiah."
"Might as well be."
"Abbey, when's dinner? I'm starved," Julia said, interuppting their banter session.
Abbey look at her husband with alarm. His alarmed expression matched hers.
After ordering nearly $200 worth of Chinese food, the Bartlets and the Bennetts enjoyed a very...eventful dinner. The children took their food out to the living room while t he adults gathering around the dining room table, all squeezed together.
"So, is Liz going to go to Lamaze classes?" Michelle asked.
"No. Well, I'm not sure actually. We haven't discussed that yet."
"Oh, Abbey, you have to make her go."
"I'm not making her do anything she doesn't want to do."
"What about you, Abbey?" Martina questioned.
"Me? Please. I think I've been through it enough times. I don't need any more practice."
"As a doctor, you should know that it never hurts to go," Michelle said.
"Well, I don't know if I'd have a partner."
"What are you implying, Abbey?" Jed inquired.
"Nothing!"
"You think I wouldn't go with you?"
"You haven't since Ellie," she answered.
"Jed!" Catherine scolded.
"What! You know what. I'm not doing this right now. Abbey, we'll talk about this later."
"Fine," Abbey agreed.
"John, how are you liking retirement?" Leo asked.
"Well, I enjoy having time to myself, Leo. However, I'm eager to get back into the work force."
"John's thinking of starting his own business," Catherine announced.
"I'll tell them, Catherine." John paused. "I'm thinking of starting my own business."
"Really, Dad? Doing what?" Johnny asked.
"Well. I haven't gotten that far as of yet."
"Well...good luck with that," Nick said.
"Oh! Andre sold a painting!" Julia exclaimed, excitedly.
"Really? That's great!" Abbey said, and they all chimedi n various agreements.
"Sold it for $3,500."
"Wow!"
"Well done, Pierre," Nick said.
"Andre, Dad," Julia corrected.
"Right! Andre."
"Now you're just doing it on purpose."
"Well, I'm sorry. It's going to take a little while before I get used to my little girl being married."
"Dad, I'm not your little girl. I'm forty-five, for God's sake. Michelle's your little girl, so why don't you pick on Dallas for a change? Shouldn't be too hard. Just call him Austin or Fort Worth."
"Julia!" Michelle laughed.
"What about Jed? Call him Ned or Ted or Fred or Ed."
"Why would I do that? I LIKE Dallas and Jed!" Nick retorted.
Andre frowned.
"Why the hell don't you like Andre? Because he's MY husband and you never love anything I do! I bet that's it," Julia exclaimed.
"Or maybe it's because you eloped and robbed me of the chance to see you finally get married, JuJuFruit."
"Ok, I was expecting a few mutinities, but not between the two of you, so knock it off!" Abbey shouted.
The table instantly became quiet. Jed smirked at his wife was impressed amusement.
"Very nice, sweetheart."
"Thank you," she replied, haughtily.
It was a few moments before anyone spoke again.
"Jed, the porch needs to be refinished," John said, barely making eye contact with his son.
"Yeah."
"This house could really use some work done."
"Ok, Dad."
"You better make sure you're theo ne who does it too. I won't have Abbey doing it. Especially not in her condition."
"Dad, you really, honestly think I'm going to make my wife, who is six months pregnant, paint the house and refinish the porch!" Jed said.
"Well, I certainly wouldn't put it past you."
"That's for sure," Joanne whispered, under her breath.
"Excuse me? Do you have something to say to me, Joanne?"
Abbey sighed.
"Here it comes," she murmured.
"I have a great deal to say, in fact, but I'll refrain for the time being."
"If you have something to say, then by all means, say it," John said.
"Well, I just don't think it would kill you to treat your son with a little respect, if you're not going to speak to him warmly," Joanne said.
"I don't believe it's your place to say," John responded, calmly.
"And I believe you just invited me to speak, John. Now you're retracting that statement?"
"If you want to get started on hypocrisy, there's a fair amount I could say to you as well."
Abbey groaned and dropped her head into herh ands. Johnny glanced over at Jed, who wore a blank expression on his face.
"Guys, why don't you cool it for awhile, huh?" Johnny suggested.
"Speak when you're spoken to, Jonathan. This has nothing to do with you," John said, sternly.
"I'm not a kid anymore, Dad. I don't ahve to live according to your impossible rules and standards!"
"See, John, you've turned both of your sons against you," Joanne commented.
"Nan, please," Michelle pleaded, noticing the look on her sister's face.
"At least I had children of my own, Joanne, and didn't have to commandeer someone else's," John said in return.
"Hey, now. Let's leave my girls out of this please!" Nick demanded.
"You just lurked around the shadows until his wife died, then you went in for the kill, like a predator after its prey," John continued.
"How DARE you!" Joanne shouted.
"How dare YOU! Making speculations about my relationship with my sons!"
"They're not speculations, they're facts!"
"Oh, for God's sake," Nick muttered.
"According to whom!"
"According to EVERYONE, John, including them!"
"How the hell do you know?"
"How the hell do you NOT know!"
"Nan, let it go," Michelle said.
Catherine touched her husband's wrist lightly.
"Remember your blood pressure, John."
"Oh, to tell with my blood pressure! That woman is disrespecting my family!"
"That woman? That woman! Who the hell do you think you are! You don't refer to my wife at 'that woman'!" Nick exclaimed.
"Then keep your under control!" John shouted.
"Unlike some poeple, I don't control my wife's actions. She's not a dog, for christ's sake!"
"Really, you can hardly tell the difference!"
"That's it!" Nick stood up.
"Dad, sit down!" Julia shouted, pulling him back down into his seat.
"Dear Lord," Abbey whispered, barely audibly, looking away from the table.
"I won't stand for t hisk ind of treatment in my own daughter's house!" Nick said.
"It's my son's house too!" John argued.
"If you can even call him your son!" Joanne shot back.
Abbey dropped her fork, but nobody heard. She pushed her plate away, but nobody saw. Her face reddened and she began grinding her teeth, adrenaline pumping through her veins. But nobody noticed. Until, that is, she slammed her fists on the table and stood up.
"ENOUGH!"
Everyone immediately silenced and turned their heads to look at her in shock.
"I've had absolutely enough of this! You all seem to be masters at making something out of nothing! There was no need for any of this! At all! This is completely uncalled for. You are instigators, all of you. And I'm through! You can't even keep your goddamned mouths shut on my daughter's birthday! What about her! She's the reason you're all gathered here today. Not to shout and scream and hurt people, which is all you're been doing! If you can't be in the same with each other and be civil, then you can all just get the hell out of my house, because I am DONE!"
Tears began to cloud her vision as she continued.
"Now. I hope you're happy because you're just driven me from my own damn house. When I get back, not one of you better be here. I don't want to see any of you until tomorrow and that's only if you're going to behave! Goodnight!"
With that, she stormed out of the dining room, leaving them all utterly shell-shocked. Jed shook his head in disbelief at the people sitting at the table before then, then followed her out. When he caught up with her, she was in the foyer, putting her coat on.
"Don't, Jed," she snapped, with her back to him.
"Where are you going?"
"At this point, where I'm going is the least of my problems."