They had visited fifteen stores in two hours, and yet Julia Bennett-Meluard and Elizabeth Bartlet weren't nearly finished.
"Looks like I've almost exhausted my funds," Liz commented, glancing at the contents of her wallet.
"Liz, are you out of your mind? You don't take your wallet out in the middle of Times Square"
"Oh, shit," Liz muttered, shoving it back into her purse.
"Watch your language, child. I may be the Cool Aunt, but I'm still your mother's sister and don't think I won't report any foul behavior on your part"
"Sorry. But who said you're the Cool Aunt anyway"
"Oh, shove it, Elizabeth"
Liz grinned.
"This is fun"
"Better enjoy it while it lasts, toots," Julia replied.
"Ugh, I know. Sometimes I feel like my life is ending"
"Not ending, sweetheart. Just changing. A lot."
"I don't know if I like it"
"Yeah, well, that's just too bad. You should have thought of that seven months ago and closed your legs"
Liz glared at her, then glanced down at her feet, realizing she was right.
"Yeah"
"It's not the end of the world, Liz. Sometimes I even think it will be a good thing for you," Julia said.
"Having a baby at sixteen"
"I know it sounds twisted but…it'll probably be very grounding"
"I don't think so. I think it'll put me on edge and make me paranoid," Liz answered.
"I don't know about that"
"I mean, when I think about it…I can't figure out what this means for the rest of my life. I guess I'll never get married, because who'd want to marry a girl with a kid, and if I don't get married, I'll never have any other children besides this one. Who knows where I'll end up"
"Now you're just being dramatic," Julia said.
"I'm not trying to. I mean, what about college"
"What about it"
"In two years, it'll be time for me to go to college. How am I supposed to swing that"
"The same way you'll swing going to high school with a baby. You'll just have to stay close to home"
"There goes my dream of going to Stanford," Liz said, glumly.
Julia nodded.
"That's right. Mistakes come with consequences. Missing out on Stanford is just part of yours"
"You know, you're really not making me feel any better"
"Have you ever known me to tell you anything other than the truth"
"No"
"All right then. I'm not a gloss it over and put a smile on it kind of gal, Liz. If you want that, you can hit up your aunt Michelle, because you're not gonna get it from me, darlin'."
Liz nodded, pensively.
"Hey, Aunt Julia. Can I ask you something"
"Sure, sweetie"
"How come you never had any kids"
"Oh. Well…I just…never felt they would fit into my life. I'm not very maternal. And between my two sisters, soon I'll have eight nieces and nephews and that fills whatever void I felt with not having children. I have you guys. And waiting until I was forty-five to get married didn't help much either"
"But if you had gotten married younger, would you have"
"It all would have depended on the situation, and how my husband felt about having children.There are so many factors, I think mostly psychological, that went into my decision not to have kids. I think…when my mother died, I got scared. I didn't want to have kids and then leave them so young, leave them to figure things out for themselves. Especially if had daughters. It's hard for daughters to function and grow up properly without their mothers, and I oughtta know"
"But weren't you, like, twenty-one when your mother died?" Liz asked.
"Yes. That's still young though. And I had to watch your mother and Michelle struggle even more than I did, because they were younger. And Michael…he was always a little on the unstable side, but Mom's death really set him off. That's when all the problems with him started. I didn't want to take the chance of putting children through that. It's not fair. Not that I blame Mom, because obviously I don't but…that's just the way my mind worked when I was in my twenties"
"Do you regret it"
"No. I really like where my life is right now"
"Sometimes I wonder what my life will be like when I'm forty-five," Liz said.
"Well, one thing's for sure. You'll have a twenty-nine-year-old son or daughter"
"God. We'll be, like, almost the same age"
"At least you know you'll always have a best friend"
"I can't imagine being forty-five and having a kid that's twenty-nine!"
Julia shrugged.
"You'll get through it. You have us. We're always there for you"
"Who's we"
"Your family"
"Oh, right"
"Ok," Julia said, rounding the corner. "Let's hit Sephora, I'm in dire need of some mascara"
October 5th, 1987
6: 43 P.M.
The Bartlet Household
Zoey Bartlet's bedroom
"When will you be back?" Zoey whined, sitting on her bed with her arms folded across her chest.
"In a few hours, sweetie. We won't be gone long," Abbey replied.
"And then you'll be home and we can play"
"Well, we might still be gone when it's your bedtime. Liz will tuck you in and Daddy and I will see you in the morning"
"No"
"Excuse me"
"No. You can't go"
"Well, I'm sorry, but that's not your decision to make, little one"
"I'm not little"
"Ohh, but you're cranky!" Abbey said.
"I'm not cranky"
"Cranky and tired"
"Nuh uh!" Zoey argued.
"Looks like someone needs some sleep"
"Mommy"
"Zoey, when you act like a tired, cranky little girl, you force me to treat you like one. Is that what you want"
"No"
"Then stop. Daddy and I are going out for a few hours, whether you like it or not"
"I don't like it"
Abbey nodded.
"Duly noted. I'm going to say goodnight now just in case we're not home before bedtime"
"Not fair"
"Uh-oh. That's not my tired, cranky little girl again, is it"
Zoey shook her head fervently.
"All right then. Goodnight"
Abbey kissed the top of her pouting daughter's head, then stood and moved towards the door.
"Bye, honey"
"Bye, Mommy," Zoey with, glumly.
Abbey gave her a half-hearted smile, then left the room in search of her husband.
"Jed! Jed!"
She popped her head into her own bedroom, and found him sitting on the bed watching a Patriots game.
"Jed"
"What! Sorry. The Pats are creaming Green Bay"
"I don't care if all the chips are down, it's the ninth inning, and someone's about to make a basket, let's go"
He looked at her incredulously.
"You're a sportscaster's dream, you know that, Abbey"
"I truly hope that was sarcasm I heard in your voice just then"
"Are you kidding? I have too much respect for sportscasters then to lock one of 'em up for with you for an evening.
"Well, in that case, I guess you can go for a few evenings without being locked up with me as well, hmm"
"Ok, Lamaze class here we come"
"Atta boy"
7:06 P.M.
George Washington General Hospital
"Sorry we're late!" Abbey called as she and Jed ran into the room where the Lamaze class was being held.
Six other couples, and an intructor, we all sitting and waiting for them.
"That's quite all right. Have a seat, we're just about to get started."
Jed helped Abbey position herself on the floor (it was getting much harder to do now that she was in her seventh month), then sat down behind her. They looked around, warily, at the other couples in the class. It was immediately obvious that they were one of the oldest ones in the room.
"First of all, I would like to extend a warm welcome to all of you. I'm glad you've made the decision to attend classes. My name is Kelly and I'll be your instructor for the next few weeks. What I'd like to do to start us off, is make sure we're all well-acquainted with each other. So let's go around, and you can state your names, ages if you like, occupations, how long you've been together, and how many other children you have if this isn't your first. Ok, then, let's begin"
"Oh, um. I'm Katie and this is my fiancee, Tom. I'm twenty-six, he's forty-three. I'm in graduate school, and Tom's an out-of-work actor. We moved to DC so we could live with my parents. We've been together for about eight months, and this is, as you can guess, our first child"
"I'm Denise and this is my soon-to-be ex-husband, Charlie. He's almost forty and I'm thirty-four. I am…well, was a model, and he's works for the family business. We were together for about two years before we filed for divorce, and this is our second child. We have a year-old daughter, Sam."
"My turn? Oh, good. My name is Jennifer and this is my husband, Ben. We're both thirty-three. Before I got pregnant, I worked for the FBI and Ben works for a record company. We've been married for a few weeks, and this is our first child! We're very excited"
"I'm Angelina, and this is my boyfriend, Brad. He's forty-one, and I'm thirty. I do a lot of charity work with Cambodia right now, and Brad is a divorce lawyer. We've been together for over a year, but we didn't make our relationship public until just recently. This is our first biological child, but we've got two Cambodian children that we've adopted at home. We weren't expecting to get pregnant, as you can see"
"Hi, my name is Britney, and this is my husband, Kevin. I'm twenty-three, and he's twenty-six. I'm a singer, and right now Kevin's…let's just say, soul-searching. We've been married for about a year. This is my first child, and Kevin's third. We're so happy to be here"
"Hello, everyone. My name is Gwyneth, and this is my husband, Chris. I'm almost thirty-three, and he's twenty-eight. I'm a yoga instructor, and he's a writer. We've been married nearly two years. We have a daughter at home, just over a year old. Apple."
Jed and Abbey were so fascinated and amused by the couples surrounding them, that they didn't notice when it was their turn.
"Oh! Sorry. I'm Abbey, and this is my husband, Jed. I'm forty-one and he's forty-two. He's a Congressman, and I'm a doctor. I actually work here at GW. Uh, we've been married for about twenty years, and we've got three daughters at home- sixteen, twelve, and six"
"Great. Let's get started"
What ravages of spirit
Conjured this temptuous rage
Created you a monster
Broken by the rules of love
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do .
And I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go…
May 20th, 1967
8:47 P.M.
Andover, Massachusetts
The Bennett Household
Dining Room
"Why on earth are women so messy?" Nick Bennett asked, with frustration, as he tried to clear the wedding magazine and books from the table.
Joanne slapped his hand down on the table before he could move any of them.
"Back off, Nick. Leave it alone"
"You ladies have been at this wedding thing all night. Don't you think it's time you give it a rest"
"We're planning a wedding, Nick. It takes time. And the more time you spend pestering us, the more time we have to spend burying ourselves in wedding magazines," Joanne replied.
"Or you could let me help"
"No!" Joanne and Abbey shouted at once.
Nick feigned a hurt expression. Joanne rolled her eyes.
"Get outta here, will ya"
The sound of the phone ringing pierced through the air in the room, startling them all. Abbey jumped up.
"I'll get it"
Joanne and Nick looked at each other and sighed wistfully.
"Jed," they both agreed.
Abbey ran into her father's study, closed the door tightly, slipped into the chair behind his desk, then picked up the phone, excitedly.
"Hello"
"Abbey"
She gasped and her eyes narrowed in confusion.
"Michael"
"Yeah"
"Oh, thank God! We were all so worried when you didn't come home after the party last night! What happened?"
"Abbey"
"Where are you? You sound far away"
"I'm at a pay phone," Michael replied.
"A pay phone? What? Where"
"In Boston"
"You're in Boston! Michael, what the hell is"
"Look, Abbey, I don't have much time left on this call, and I don't have any more change. I'm gonna sign up"
"What? Sign up for what"
"I'm enlisting in the Army, Abbey"
Her heart stopped and it took a moment before she could bring herself to speak.
"Abbey"
"You're…you're…but, why"
"Because I thought about it, and I can't come up with a reason why I shouldn't"
"But, Michael, you…you…why would you sign up if you're not drafted"
"Abbey, I don't have time to….I'll explain it to you in a letter"
"What…what about the wedding"
She could hear Michael groan.
"Is that all you can think about? Your damn wedding? I'm shipping myself off to Vietnam and you're worried about your wedding! Jesus Christ, Abbey, what is WRONG with you?"
"I…I…I can't…I don't….why are you doing this, Michael"
"I told you. I'll explain it in a letter"
She wiped away the tears that began flowing down her cheeks and tried to stop her hand from involuntarily quivering.
"Don't, Michael…please don't"
"Oh…damn. Come on, Abbey, don't…don't cry. Please."
"Please listen to me. Don't do this. This…ridiculous war is NOT worth your life"
"I'm gonna kick some Vietnamese ass, Abbey. That's worth my life"
"Michael! You're doing this to spite me, aren't you?"
"No…no. God, no"
"Then why! Why! Don't go"
"Look, my time's running out. Tell everyone for me, will you"
"No! I won't, because you're not going to do this, Michael! You can't do this to me!" She exclaimed, crying copiously.
"I'm going. And that's all I have time to tell you now"
"Michael, don't!" Abbey shouted, desperately.
"I have to go"
"No! No, you just...no"
"Don't worry about me, Abs. You have to go get married. Good luck, by the way"
"Michael, please"
"Give everyone my regards, ok? I'll be back before you know it"
"I know it now! And you can't! You just…can't! I don't know what else to say but that," she added, softly.
"Ok, I really have to go now. I love you, little sister"
She choked back her tears.
"I love you too"
Abbey heard the click on the other end of the phone and knew he'd hung up. She dropped the phone on the receiver and stared at it in horror. She couldn't believe what had just happened. And she couldn't bring herself to tell her family. Instead, she quietly creeped up the stairs, so as not to be noticed, and retired to her bedroom for the night. There, she crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep. It would be the first of many sleepless nights to follow over the next six years.
Every moment marked
With apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
But I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how
To let you go
I don't know how
To let you go