"We didn't do anything, I swear. Look inside the magazine. It's real," Sam insisted.
"No, Leo, they didn't do anything. I was flipping through it after Carol gave it to me. It is real," CJ said.
"This is weird," Zoey said with confusion as she sat back down.
"Yeah," Liz agreed, distractedly, sitting down as well.
"What? Just because I'm your mother means I can't be sexy?" Abbey countered, putting her hands on her hips.
"Well…yeah," Zoey answered, truthfully.
"I resent that."
"Mom, you've got three grown daughters and two grandchildren. So, yeah, it's a little weird for us," Liz added.
"Well, it's not weird for me," Jed said.
"Better not be," Abbey said, moving and sitting down on the arm of Jed's chair.
"Dad," Zoey said, disdainfully.
"What? I'm proud."
"Proud that people all across the country are going to be thinking impure thoughts about your wife from now on?" Liz asked, raising an eyebrow.
"They better not!"
"Sir…I'm afraid that's the downside to this situation," CJ said. "It may boost Mrs. Bartlet's ratings in the polls, but when it comes right down to it, does America really want its First Lady to be a sex symbol?"
"When do we get the results of this magazine poll?" Abbey asked, ignoring what CJ had said.
"Two weeks, ma'am," Amy answered.
"How does the voting work?" Questioned the President.
"The voting's being done online, sir," Toby said.
"It's open to the public?"
"Well, yeah, it's not like they're only polling people who work on the Hill," Said Josh.
"Although that would be good in helping you discover who your enemies are," Sam pointed out, with a smirk.
Jed stood up.
"Where are you going!" Abbey asked.
"I'm gonna go vote!"
A chorus of pleading "Sir"'s flooded the room.
"And you guys should all go vote too! Rule the vote! Or…whatever," Jed said.
"Rock the vote, Dad," Zoey corrected him.
"Rock, rule, same thing."
"I can't believe it!" Abbey called from inside the bathroom.
Jed was in the bedroom fixing them some drinks.
"Believe what?"
"You know."
"Wha-oh. Yes. That."
"What do you think of all this?" She asked.
"Oh, I'm…I'm just thrilled," Jed replied.
She emerged from the bathroom, now wearing her nightgown, and taking off her earrings.
"You're lying," she accused, almost saying it as if it were a question.
"Not I."
"Yes, you are. You're lying. What's the matter?"
"Nothing is the matter, Abigail. I'm thrilled."
She walked over, a suspicious look in her eye, and took a drink from him.
"Liar," she said quickly before taking a sip from her glass.
He was about to take a sip himself, but stopped.
"Am not!"
"Jed, why don't you just tell me what's bothering you?" Abbey questioned.
"I told you. Nothing is…"
"Do you reallly think that after thirty-five years of marriage I can't see right through you?"
He sighed and sat down on the couch.
"Well, it's not a complete lie."
She sat down next to him.
"And?"
"Part of me is thrilled."
"But…"
"But part of me is jealous."
Abbey laughed.
"You wanted to compete against Jackie Kennedy for Sexiest First Lady instead?"
"Yeah, you got me."
"Well, what then?"
"I don't know. I'm just not completely comfortable with all of this," Jed admitted.
"In the way that the girls aren't comfortable with it?"
"No."
"In what way?"
"In the way that now…I don't know, now I feel like the whole world is going to see you in a different light. My light."
"Your light," she repeated, in disbelief.
"You know, the light only I'm allowed to see you in."
"Oh. That light."
"The odd thing about it is, I've always thought it would be nice if you would get some recognition…you know, in that particular sense. And now that it's happened…I don't like it. At all."
"You poor thing." She rolled her eyes.
"I'm serious, Abbey. If we thought Lord John was bad…imagine it after this fiasco. Lord John'll be the least of our problems."
"Jed, he's always been the least of our problems."
"You know what I mean."
"I do, but I think you're overreacting. It's just a magazine poll," Abbey said.
"Yeah. A magazine poll that's got the entire staff in a frenzy."
"That was only today. By tomorrow, it'll all have blown over. Trust me"
Suddenly, his mood lightened a bit.
"I'm supposed to trust the Sexiest First Lady of All Time?"
"Hey, I haven't won yet."
"I'll have you know that I actually went to that website and I ruled the vote," Jed said.
"I'm happy you rocked the vote, honey, but that's just one person."
"One person who happens to reign supreme over the free world. The President has spoken. What I say goes."
"And what do you say?"
"I say Abigail Bartlet is the Sexiest First Lady of all time, Kennedy or no Kennedy."
"Well, you're biased."
"And thank God for that."
"Maybe Liz and Zoey were right," Abbey said, sighing.
"Right about what?"
"It really is weird."
"You're kidding me."
"No. Liz's right. I've got three grown children. I'm a grandmother, for God's sake."
"Ok, can I just say something?" Jed asked.
"I could say no, but you've got the legal right to overrule me, Mr. President."
"I bet if America didn't know we had three grown children and two grandchildren, they'd think I'd married someone half my age. A trophy wife."
Abbey laughed.
"A trophy wife. Ha!"
"That's what you are."
"Excuse me!"
"That…that's not what I meant, Abbey. I just meant that you're…"
She smiled.
"I know what you meant."
"Hey. Whether or not you win that stupid little contest, you'll know what my position on the subject is."
"Oh?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh indeed."
"Well, if won't be a stupid little contest if I do win."
"Hell no. It'll be the best damned magazine in the world and I'll personally decorate it with the Congressional Medal of Honor."
"Then I certainly hope I don't win, because I think the public would lose faith in your judgement if you did something like that. And you can kiss the campaign goodbye."
"Campaign shampaign."
"Don't ever say that again."
"Ok." He grinned at her. "Come, my little trophy wife."
"Ah yes. And so to bed."
"Indeed, grasshopper. Indeed."
TBC.