The following days passed quietly. Nick visited Charlie in the morning and worked in the afternoon at the ice cream shop with Rose, who turned out to be a funny and pleasant colleague. He couldn't see the time passing at work and was delighted to have made a new friend.

He managed to be there when Charlie was finally released from the hospital the following Saturday and he drove him home where their friends had thrown a little party to celebrate his return. The Paris squad had responded, as well as Tori and Michael. Everyone had welcomed Charlie with banners and gifts. A small buffet had been prepared by Elle and Tara and Darcy had put on some music, even if it had been necessary to calm her ardor to hear each other chatting.

- So, how is it to sell ice cream? Asked Tara.

- Great ! My co-worker is awesome and I get unlimited free samples!

- Lucky you! I already want to die watering the flowerbeds! Complained Darcy, always melodramatic.

- At least you have a job. Elle sighed. My mother refuses that I take one, she says that it's probably one of my last summers of idleness and that I should enjoy it.

- And you dare to complain? I hand out smelly bowling shoes all day! Tao said indignantly.

- It doesn't change your habit too much!

Charlie and Aled burst out laughing. It seemed that the smell of Tao's feet was a recurring subject of mockery in their small group. Elle and Tao continued to bicker and Nick wondered what had been going on between them since their breakup at the start of the school year when Elle had left for college without wanting any attachments. They still looked so close though.

- How are you ? Charlie asked, giving him a little push, pulling him out of his thoughts.

- I should be the one asking, isn't this little party "too much"?

- No, it's perfect, it's exactly what I needed.

Nick smiled and brushed his lips against his lover's curly hair.

- Good. I'm glad.

Even though Charlie looked much better, Nick couldn't helped and was still worried. He felt like he was even more protective than usual with his boyfriend, while keeping him a bit at a distance, and this ambiguity was painful. He knew it was because he hadn't punctured the abscess yet. He hadn't actually confronted Charlie about the reasons for his action, probably because he was afraid of the answer or maybe because he was convinced he wouldn't get one. And he hadn't admitted either how much this gesture had traumatized and deeply shocked him. To find himself back in this house, a week later, was much more difficult than he had imagined. It was as if all his certainties had been shattered and he no longer knew what he believed, nor what he wanted. He couldn't project himself into the future, too scared that Charlie wouldn't be part of it because he wouldn't be here anymore.

Luckily, his job allowed him at least to get his worries out of his head for a few hours and he was grateful for that.

- Would you dance with me ? Charlie asked candidly.

- What ? Oh you know...

- Please!

He was so adorable with that big smile and his dimples that Nick nodded and hugged him tightly, taking the opportunity to slide his nose into his neck and inhale his scent.

It was an old hit from the 2000s but the lyrics particularly resonated in his ears on those days.

Baby, I'm too lost in you

Caught in you

Lost in everything about you

So deep I can't sleep, I can't think

I just think about the things you do

I'm just too lost in you

- Earth calling Nick?

- Oh sorry, what?

- Is everything alright? You spaced out.

- Yes, yes, I'm fine, I'm just…tired.

- Because of work?

No, actually, he had been sleeping very badly since being woken up in the middle of the night by a crying Tori. But he decided not to share this information with whoever was indirectly responsible for it.

- Yeah…I guess, you know, change of pace and everything.

Charlie didn't answer right away, still enjoying his boyfriend's hug.

- Are you staying to sleep?

The question caught him off guard. It had been a long time since they had shared the same bed and he missed it, but he was also apprehensive because he had nightmares almost every night.

- Ho. I don't know, I...

- Pleaaase? Charlie begged again, looking super cute. I really, really, really miss you SO MUCH...

Nick laughed tenderly and slid his lips close to his ear to whisper:

- You know I can't say no to you. You wish is my command, Mr Spring…

Charlie blushed with an embarrassed chuckle and kissed him passionately. He looked so happy that Nick should have been relieved, but instead his heart sank at the sight. He couldn't help but wonder if it was just an act. He had read a lot about suicide in the past few days and nothing had really reassured him. On the contrary, he wondered if he was going to worry like that until the end of his life.

Their friends eventually slipped away and Nick followed his boyfriend to his bedroom, stifling a yawn. He had struggled not to fall asleep on the couch earlier and was grateful to finally be able to lie down.

Charlie came to snuggle up against him, intertwining their legs.

- Thanks for organizing all of this.

- It wasn't much and it wasn't just me.

- I know but still.

Nick shrugged a little embarrassed and placed a kiss in his darling's hair.

He could tell Charlie was expecting more from the way his hand caressed his chest under his t-shirt but he couldn't. For the first time since they had taken the plunge, Nick was unable to respond to his lover's advances. Not because he didn't want to, because he couldn't. He felt like something had snapped inside him, and he felt terribly sad.

- Sorry, Char, I'm knackered… he said nervously.

- Ho. Charlie replied, surprised as he slowly pulled his hand away. It's okay, don't apologize.

Feeling guilty despite everything, even though he knew he had no reason to be, Nick just hugged him a little tighter.

- 'night.

- Good night Nick.

He closed his eyes and let himself be carried away by sleep despite the agitation of his thoughts.