"No," CJ said, under her breath.
"No!" Josh shouted.
"Dammit," Toby muttered.
"Told ya," Leo said.
"That just makes me look bad," Jed said. "And it doesn't make me feel so hot either."
Elizabeth laughed wickedly.
"She's just getting started with these questions, baby."
"Ooh. This one's getting personal," Jay announced, looking at the next question.
"Eh, try me."
"How old were you when you had your first kiss and who gave it to you?"
"Fourteen. His name was Tom Victoria. Really. Victoria was his last name. I was mad about him in junior high. He was so…rugged and old-fashioned. Wonder where he is now…probably on a ranch in Stockton, California, happily married with four kids."
Jay laughed.
"That's very…creative of you. Next question. What's your favorite color?"
Abbey giggled.
"What's my favorite color? I love this audience! Um, my favorite color. I guess I'd have to say a tie between pink and green."
"I gotta say, Abbey, you continue to surprise me," Jay commented.
"Yeah, I get that a lot." She winked at him.
"Ok, what's your favorite thing about being First Lady?"
"The ball gowns, naturally," she replied, facetiously.
"If you could change one thing about the White House, what would it be?"
"I would move it to New Hampshire."
"What's your favorite song?"
"Oh, these questions just keep getting better and better. I have a lot of favorite songs. Kind of corny, actually. Let's see. Well, there's 'I'll Stand By You' by the Pretenders, 'The Way You Look Tonight' by Frank Sinatra, and…I have a strange obsession with Joan Jett's 'I Hate Myself for Loving You.'"
"That's quite a wide range of tastes she's got there," Sam stated with amusement.
"Roller coaster, Sam," Mallory reminded him.
"Yeah, yeah."
"All right, back to the personal questions, and we will not be offended if you plead the fifth on any of these," Jay said.
"Try me," Abbey challenged.
"What is your favorite thing about the President?"
"As President or as my husband?"
Jay looked down at the card.
"Doesn't say. Give us both."
"As President, my husband is undoubtedly one of the best in history. I'm not just saying that because I'm biased. He is strong, extremely capable, and fair. The truth is, he amazes me. I really don't tell him that enough."
"Good call, Abbey," Leo whispered to the TV.
"Aww. Did you hear that, Dad?" Zoey asked.
Jed smiled and nodded.
"As my husband, however it's a different story."
"Oh, no," Josh sighed.
"She should just plead the fifth!" Toby said.
"Give her a chance, guys, will ya!" CJ said.
They nodded reluctantly.
"While my husband is one of the best presidents in history, he has outdone himself by being THE best husband in history."
The staffers breathed a sigh of relief, as did Jed.
"Love that rollar coaster," Sam said, flashing a grin at Mallory.
"What would you say are some of his best qualities, as your husband?" Jay asked.
"Oh, Lord, don't get me started. He cares. I think that's the biggest thing. There has never been a moment in our marriage where I doubted that he legitimately cared about me. That's a big thing. He's understanding and patient, most of the time, though he does have his moments."
"For instance?"
"When we're getting ready for bed," Abbey replied, with a laugh. The audience joined her laughter.
Back at the White House, even the staffers were laughing at that. Even Doug and Andy managed a smirk. The immediate Bartlet family, however, was not half as amused.
"Why must she say things that like, Dad? Why!" Ellie said, with a sigh.
"Sexual innuendo galore," Liz said.
"She must be stopped!" Zoey said with mock conviction.
The staffers burst out laughing.
"But in all seriousness, he's the best husband I could ask for. He puts up with me, and that's no small accomplishment. Let's face it, I'm not the easiest person to live with-especially when we're living in the White House. I don't cooperate with the staffers, I do my own thing. Jed is frustrated with me much of the time. But he hasn't given up on me yet, and for that I am eternally grateful to him."
"Sounds like a good answer to me," Jay commented.
"I hope it satisfies the senior staff," Abbey laughed.
"Now, Abbey, your tempestuous personality is well-known, as are the stormy arguments between you and the President. Do you have anything to say about that on your behalf?"
"Not really. I'm tempestuous, it's true. I'm passionate. I don't like to be handled. My husband, like me, is extremely stubborn and opinionated. Thus, we fight hard. But we love harder. Our arguments don't phase anyone at the White House, because they know, as we do, that nothing could tear us apart completely. Sometimes we hit a rough patch or two, love always finds a way. Corny as that sounds, it's the truth."
"Well done, Mrs. B!" Josh exclaimed with a whistle.
They all cheered.
"See? And you didn't have any faith in my wife," Jed said.
"She proved us wrong, sir," Sam said.
"Though she did have us going there for awhile," CJ added.
"Thank God she bounced back," Toby agreed.
"But what's next?" Leo asked, cynically.
"Ok, we're gonna take another break. When we come back, if I can talk Mrs. Bartlet into it, we'll have a little surprise for you."
"Oh, no. What is she gonna do?" Sam said, nervously running his fingers through his hair.
"What more CAN she do?" Josh asked.
"She's definitely got something up her sleeve," Leo agreed.
"I think someone you should call Amy again, Josh," CJ suggested.
Josh shook his head fervently.
"You call Amy! I'm not calling Amy again."
"Mr. President?"
Jed looked up, having been in a daze.
"Hmm?"
"Would you like to call Mrs. Bartlet?"
"Mmm…not really, CJ, no."
"Dad, just call her," Liz said.
"She's not going to tell me, guys. She's going to get all nervous and flustered, then make an excuse to hang up. No point in trying," Jed argued.
"Then I guess we'll just have to suffer through the suspense," Toby said.
"Any guesses?" Josh said.
"I don't even want to guess," Charlie said.
"It could be nothing. Maybe we're getting ourselves worked up for nothing," Ellie said.
They all stared at her.
"Or maybe not," she amended.
"Ten bucks says she flashes the audience," Sam said.
"Sam!"
"Sorry, it was the first thought that came to my head."
"Sam!"
"Ooh, there I go. I apologize. Merely wishful thinking."
"Keep digging yourself deeper into that hole, buddy," Jed said.
"I beg your pardon, Mr. President."
"Mmm hmm. Watch yourself, cowboy, you're in the presence of greatness."
"Really. Who?"
"That's it," Jed said, with a sigh. "Get him outta here."